Unbeta'd

Inspired by Burn With You - Lea Michele

She feels like she can't breathe. The walls around her seem to be moving in slowly, making it hard to focus on anything. She's managed to get through the day so far but now, sitting with everyone at their usual table, but Betty couldn't breathe. Her eyes focus on the tray in front of her. Her half eaten lunch looks unappetizing now. She moves to grab the water from the tray, her hand shaking slightly as she grasps it.

Jughead knew how to calm her down when she started to panic. Jughead knew exactly what to do only, he wasn't here. No he wasn't here. That Betty knew for certain.

They'd had an argument the night before. He'd found her pills in her bag. He'd questioned her about them. She'd tried to explain but he was so fixated on the fact that she even had them in the first place that he wasn't listening to what she was saying. She hadn't taken any. Not for a few months now, not since they'd got together. To be honest she forgot that they were in her bag. He still didn't want to listen.

She snapped then. Said that maybe she was crazy like Polly. He agreed. He actually agreed with her. That made Betty take a step back. It was then that Jughead had realised what he had done. He started to apologise. The look of horror on his face when he realised what he had said. He didn't mean it. He protested. He'd seen what these pills could do. His mom had them.

Betty wasn't listening then. She just kept hearing Jughead tell her that yes, she was crazy. Just like her sister. She told him to get out. Picked up the pills that had caused this argument and threw them at him. He protested until she levelled him with a gaze.

"Just go Jug."

He left then, climbing out of her window. It took Betty a couple of minutes to move over to her window and slide it shut, this time she made sure to lock it. Something she hadn't done, not since Jughead first knocked on her window.

She gasped then and sat down on the window seat. Letting the tears fall then. Her phone starting buzzing in her back pocket. She pulled it out and looked at it.

I'm sorry.

Too little too late. The words had sunk in already and now that was all she could think about. She silenced her phone and wiped under her eyes. Taking a shaky breath she walked over to her dresser and got changed. She didn't feel like food. She didn't feel like anything. She just wanted sleep.

She could hear her mom in her head as she pulled her covers up around her. There's nothing wrong with taking these Betty. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need a bit of help to get through the day. Just take them and you'll feel better.

Feel better? She'd never felt worse. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She couldn't. She kept thinking about everything. They'd been fine up until that minute and now, now she was questioning everything.

She'd gotten dressed in the morning, her ponytail was sloppy but she didn't care. She made sure she had everything she needed and left early. She didn't want to see anyone so she left. She got to school before everyone else and settled herself in the library. She managed to avoid everyone until Veronica had cornered her at her locker. That was how she ended up at lunch with everyone. Pretending that she was OK when inside, inside she was anything but.

She didn't realise she had zoned out until Kevin waved his hand in front of her face.

"Where's Romeo today?"

She cleared her throat and willed her voice to sound normal, "I'm not sure. I think he mentioned something about the Blue and Gold?" She shrugged twisting the bottle of her water off.

"And you're not with him? Everything OK Betts?" Kevin asked looking at his friend. She looked like she hadn't slept, which was right. She hadn't.

"Yeah Kev. Everything's fine." She forced a smile before her eyes snapped up as she heard Archie's voice. He was walking over to their table with a solemn looking Jughead by his side.

"I just remembered that I have something to finish. I'll erm, catch you guys later." Betty rushed out pushing herself up from the table.

"Betty!" She heard Veronica's voice calling her but she carried on walking. She deposited her lunch in the bin and walked towards the school.

She made it to the girls bathroom. Leaning against the sink she looked at her reflection. The dark circles under her eyes stood out to her. She wishes she could rewind to when she first stopped taking the pills. She wishes that she'd thrown them out, they wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for the pills.

Deep down she knows that there was something else that caused Jughead to snap. It wouldn't have just been that, would it?

Splashing some water on her face she leaves the bathroom and heads to the nurse's office. Anyone that takes a look at her would see that she didn't look right. All she needed right now was to get out. Just leave the school and go somewhere quiet. Her wishes are granted when she sits down and talks to the nurse explaining that she hadn't slept the night before and felt sick. She gets sent home and inside she breathes.

With a promise to the nurse that she'll be in tomorrow- if she's feeling up for it Betty leaves the school.

She doesn't notice where she's walking until she comes to a sudden stop.

They found a tree house the other week, her and Jughead. They'd fixed it up and it became their safe haven. Somewhere where they would both disappear to when they needed to get out. More often than not they'd end up here together. Talking about anything and everything. Joking around and making out.

She climbs the ladder and crawls inside. There's blankets and a few cushions stored in the crate to her left and she pulls them out spreading them across the surface before moving to sit down.

She's not sure how long she's in the tree house until her phone goes off beside her. It's her mom asking where she is. She fires off a quick text saying she's working on the Blue and Gold and that she'll grab something from Pop's when she's coming home. That appears to appease her mom as she sends a text back saying OK.

Sighing she rubs her hands over her face. When she pulls them away she's startled. Sitting on the edge of the blanket is Jughead.

Neither of them say anything. They just sit and look at each other. It's Jughead that makes the first move. He crawls towards her stopping when he's sitting besides her, back leaning against the tree house wall.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers "I didn't mean it. Any of it. I just-"

"You just what? Thought that it was ok?"

"No I just." He sighs "I went to see my dad yesterday. He said a few things and they'd been eating away at me. It's not excuse I know but that's the truth. And when I found the pills God Betty, I just thought of my mom." He looks up at her.

"You mom?" She questions

"Yeah, before she left with Jellybean she was on them. Things at home were tense and I just, my mind went straight back there. I just had pictures of you leaving me. The way she did. She left with Jellybean and left me behind to take care of FP."

Betty closes her eyes. She had no idea. "Jug, I-"

"Don't apologise. Seriously. You didn't know. No one did. That doesn't excuse what I said." He pushes his hand up and takes his beanie off. Running his hands through his hair he looks over at Betty.

"I was going out of my mind last night. When I left. I just, I didn't even listen to what you were saying at the time. When I got to Pop's it sunk in. I didn't hear you at the time but I did hear you." He shakes his head and looks at her.

"Juggie." She licks her lips and turns to face him.

"I heard you say that you haven't taken them for a while. Since we got together. Since before that."

"Yeah." She agrees, "Mom, she made me have them. If I wasn't coping they were there. That there's no harm in needing some help to get through the day." She huffs a laugh, "When we started hanging out I felt like I could breathe easier."

She smiles then and looks down to her shoes, "When you kissed me everything fell into place." She knows it sounds cheesy but it's true, "I didn't need them when we started hanging out and I didn't need them when we got together. I should have gotten rid of them but I didn't. I think I kept them because of my mom."

"You don't have to explain to me." He turns and now he's facing her.

"No, I know. It's just. I try so hard to be perfect, it's almost as if this halo that everyone sees is dimming. I'm not perfect though."

He lifts his hand up and cups her cheek, "Perfect is overrated anyways. I'd much rather have you Betty, demons and all."

She leans into his touch and smiles softly, "My demons and your demons. Together. We'll get past this." She agrees and places her and over his, "It doesn't mean that you're off the hook. When you agreed with me last night, that really hurt me."

"I know." He frowns and looks down. Both of her hands move over to cup his face.

"We'll get past this." She runs her thumbs under his eyes "We have to. We're Jughead and Betty."

It's not perfect here between us, even angels have their demons.