Seeds of Doubt

I had no idea how long we sat together, just enjoying each other. It might have been minutes or hours: I wasn't sure, and I didn't care to check the time. I was enjoying this too much. I would stay right here all night long if I could. In fact, forever would be fine by me. Jackal eventually pulled back from me, and I gave him a somewhat surprised look.

Before I could ask, he said, "As much as I hate to say it, if you're found in my room at this time of night, all sorts of things might happen."

"Huh?" I replied. What's the problem? Was he having second thoughts about our relationship? Or was he referring to something else?

"Think about it. We will still need to write reports for your missions. The higher ups will already suspect a lot of bias in our reports because we're friends. So what do you think will happen if we're found out to be a couple? They'll begin to suspect even more bias."

Okay, so that's what he was talking about. He has a point. But I trust him more than anyone. Who else would I pick? "But we can go on missions with more than just us two," I protested, trying to convince him.

"Yes, but only we have to write reports about your performance. The others only have to write a general report about the mission. And, there's still the fact that we need to have some sleep so nothing unexpected happens in our missions."

Well, that's true. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I didn't think of that. It would be bad if either of us couldn't perform because we stayed up too late. I was reluctant to think about the other reason. Still, I had to ask, "So, how should we act around each other? Hide our relationship?"

"Its either that or risk you having to ask someone else to produce reports instead of me." I bit my lip in realization as Jackal gave me a comforting hug. "But that doesn't mean that we can't do this in private. All we need to do is hide our relationship until you no longer have to produce reports about your missions."

"You realize that I can just get someone like Alisa to produce the reports. I want to do everything with you, because you never know when it will end." I nuzzled closer to Jackal and looked up at him. Even just being close like this felt so right. How could I possibly think of hiding this?

"I think we should ask Alisa about that before we decide for her. She might not be able to do it, after all. But I'm all for the idea of asking someone we can trust."

I was glad Jackal agreed with me. Now to get that report stuff out of the way. I stood up and said, "Maybe I can ask her now. If she's awake, she's bound to say yes."

"But if she's asleep, you should wait until morning."

I knew that, but I was too excited. If she was asleep, then of course I'd wait. If not, then I was going to ask right now. I leaned down and gave Jackal one more hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jackal." I darted out of the room, too excited to contain myself. I had some business to take care of. Then, I could truly begin this exciting new chapter in my life.

O-O-O-O-O-O

Morning came too soon. It turned out that I forgot to check the time before I spoke with Alisa last night. It was well after 2 in the morning; an unreasonably early time for most. By the time I was aware of this, I had already knocked at the Captain's door. Luckily for me, she was finishing a report and didn't seem to mind talking with me about Jackal and my relationship status and what that meant for my probation. I was concerned that perhaps I was overburdening her, but she insisted that she was fine with it. As for me, I was too wound up after earlier to sleep much. I had no idea when I had finally managed to fall asleep. It resulted in me sleeping right through my alarm clock.

What woke me instead was an insistent message alert from my Terminal. I stumbled out of bed, still half-asleep. What time was it anyway? Checking the alarm clock revealed that it was 9:30. I had slept in badly. As I stood and stretched the sleep from my limbs, I hoped I hadn't missed a mission dispatch. That would be very bad. I checked the email, and saw it was a message from Lindow. I was caught completely by surprise by what he had written.

"Robin, how's it going? I heard about how you, Soma, Jackal, and the Captain defeated a Garuda last night. Good work! You know you and Jackal are the only ones who've taken a Garuda down, right? That's the first break we've had against the invincible Aragami in a while. You two have caught HQ's attention in no small way. And mine too. You two should tell me your secret sometime.

"Come and meet up with me at 11:00. I'll be in the sim range, so find me there. I have something interesting to discuss with you. Not over email though. It's about the God Eater you asked me to look up: Hinata Ito wasn't it? Went by the codename Senryuu? Come meet me if you get this message."

I stared for a few moments on reading that. How did Lindow know about…? Oh, right. It took me a moment to recall that I did tell him about Hinata. I wondered what he might have found. Well, first things first; I had to get ready for the day. I got myself a quick shower and breakfast. I was in a little bit of a hurry because I overslept. I didn't need to waste any more daytime.

By the time I finished my routines, it was already 10:30. I had a little time before my meeting with Lindow. I wanted to have a quick chat with Jackal, so I decided to try and find him. But he was absent. He must have been on a mission. I wondered what he was up against today. Just a normal Aragami? A Deusphage? I decided to see what Lindow wanted, then go find a mission for myself. I had to stay sharp if I wanted to get off probation.

I made my way to the sim range and found Lindow finishing a round against a Chi-You. I waited patiently outside the window and watched the senior God Eater. He finished the false Aragami quite quickly, then turned and waved me inside. I wondered what this could be about. The training room was a strange spot to discuss things.

"Hey, there you are," Lindow slung his God Arc over a shoulder, "I was wondering if you missed my email."

"Sorry about that, Lindow. I overslept last night…" I admitted.

"A little bird told me you were up very late visiting Jackal last night. You two are an item now, yeah?"

I was caught off guard by his comment. How'd he figure it out? Did Alisa tell him what happened last night or something? I knew word would get around eventually, but I didn't expect Lindow to know about that already. I decided to change subjects. "You asked me to meet up here? What did you want to talk about?"

Lindow shot me a little smirk, "Smooth diversion, Robin. So, yeah. I did ask you to meet me here. You didn't bring your God Arc, did you?"

I shook my head, "No, why?"

Lindow laughed at me a little bit. "Come on Robin. What's this place for if not practice? Go get your Arc and come right back, okay?" When I cocked my head questioningly at him, he replied, "It's just a drill. Humor me, will you?"

I nodded, still unsure what he was up to. I thought he said he needed to talk. I didn't particularly mind training though. "Alright, I'll be right back." I quickly left and retrieved my God Arc from the maintenance bay and returned to find Lindow resetting the sim.

"Alright, here we go. Feeling like a warm-up?" he asked me.

I didn't have much choice in the decision, because the false Aragami materialized in the middle of the room. My eyes widened, my legs shook, and I felt my heart leap into my throat. My least favorite breed of Aragami was the target. The Quadriga was just prowling and hadn't noticed us yet. But that was more than enough to trigger a cascade of unpleasant memories…

"A-a-a Quadriga?!" I blurted.

Lindow was smiling casually, "Yeah. Small potatoes for a Garuda-slayer like you, I bet." He seemed to notice how nervous I was, and his cavalier attitude went serious. "You okay?"

"I… I…" My voice was shaking, and I couldn't even form a sentence. I was frozen in sheer terror.

This isn't even a real Quadriga, I scolded myself, what's wrong with me?

I had to focus… but I couldn't force myself to fight. A distant part of me was screaming to just fight, but an even louder part couldn't stop panicking. I couldn't even think straight. Before I knew it, the simulacrum roared and launched a missile at me. My breath froze up and my eyes widened. Flashbacks from Ryukyu were overwhelming my brain, and I couldn't move. In my terror, I'd even forgotten how to even defend myself. I had become the scared village girl I once was. I lost what tiny bit of nerve I had and screamed as I dropped my God Arc, covered my head, and fell to my knees. The "missile" careened right into me, causing a flash of light to fill my vision. I heard a loud buzzer that indicated a "fatal" hit, followed by the staticky sound of the hologram fading. I only barely registered that because I was still trying to get a grip on myself.

"Robin?! Hey, snap out of it!" Lindow shook my shoulder, making me look up in a start. I lowered my head in my hands and tried to catch my breath and hide the tears I couldn't stop from coming.

"I-I-I messed up…" I finally managed.

"I'm sorry Robin, that was supposed to be a test. I didn't think you'd react like that. I should've been more considerate…" he offered a hand to me, "C'mon, let's get you to a bench. Training's over."

"S-sorry…" I sputtered with a waver in my voice as Lindow put my arm over his shoulder and lead me to a bench outside the room. This was so embarrassing, freezing up at a training dummy…

Lindow shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. That was my fault. I intentionally put a Quadriga up to see if you could fight one. I shouldn't have done that to you." Lindow helped me to a sitting position and quickly glanced over a shoulder. Then, he slipped a data disc into my lap.

I could only give him a questioning look before he said, "Take a look at that disc when you get your head back on. Just don't let anyone know you have it, yeah? I kinda had to bend a reg or two to get these files."

"W…" I took a deep breath to steady my voice and tried again. "What's this?"

"They say a picture's worth a thousand words. If so, this vid's worth a million. I think you need to look at it. Privately." Lindow patted my shoulder and looked at me with an apologetic face, "I'm really sorry about that Aragami. Knowing your history with Quadrigas and still expecting you to just fight one out of the blue was thoughtless of me. I won't do that to you again."

He knew I have a weakness regarding Quadrigas? And he put a sim Quadriga in there anyways! I was both humiliated and mortified. Having a critical weakness exposed so dramatically in front of a Veteran was the worst. "I… It's nothing." I fibbed, "I just had a weak moment. I'm alright now."

"When you're feeling better, go check your email again. I have a favor to ask you. And no, it doesn't involve Quadrigas." He looked at me with a rather awkward smile, "That is, if you're willing to go on a mission with the guy who just tortured you."

Apparently, he didn't mean to hurt me on purpose. Maybe he just wanted to see if I could do it. Clearly, I couldn't, not yet. I'll need to work on that somehow if I wanted to get over my fear.

I had to calm down first. "I'll be okay…" I said with more certainty this time, "I'll be okay."

"If you say so. I better go and let you pull yourself back together. I'll see you around, Robin." Lindow scuttled down the hall, looking more than a little uncomfortable.

I took a few more moments to recover my composure before returning to my room. Talk about a foul-up. I should not have let that Quadriga get the better of me like that. And what's worse, I had a meltdown right in front of a Veteran. So humiliating. What he said to me still nagged at me. He knew I had that phobia, but how? I sat on the edge of my bed for several minutes, turning that data disc over and over in my hands. What was I going to find on here? I was equal parts curious and wary. Something about the way Lindow gave me this thing gave me an ominous feeling.

What could possibly be on here that necessitated that secrecy? I wasn't going to learn anything by sitting here fretting about it. I mustered up my courage and put the disc in the Terminal.

At first, all I got onscreen was static. I frowned at the screen. Was this corrupted or what? Just as the question came, I heard an almost unidentifiable voice cut faintly through the static.

"Is this thing even on? Ugh, the damn water got into everything! This'll have to do."

I was transfixed to the screen. Even through the garbled noise, I could recognize the voice. It was Hinata! My eyes widened, and I strained to make out more. I didn't need to struggle long because the image cleared up. I saw a rather harried-looking Hinata staring into the viewpoint, adjusting the camera. He was in a bunker of some kind, and I could hear faint sounds of fighting from outside. The windows behind him showed brief flashes and bangs that indicated some kind of Oracle energy outside.

"Okay, finally! Got the feed straightened out." Hinata looked over his back, "Hey, Genbu! Are Nefertiti and Byakko still holding the line?"

Another male voice from off-camera replied, "I have no idea where Byakko went! As for Nefertiti, she's holding them back! I don't think she can take it much longer! We have to get back on the front lines and help, especially since Byakko isn't responding!"

"You go first! I'll follow you in just a moment!" Hinata called out.

"Just hurry the hell up! Even I can't do it without you!" the unseen man yelled back amid retreating footsteps.

Hinata looked straight into the camera and said, "If you are reading this message, then I'm probably dead." A rending sound and a shout of agony from behind caused Hinata to look over his back. A huge impact had torn into the metal behind him, shearing chunks of metal off the wall and leaving shredded gouges through it. A half-dozen metallic objects zoomed overhead, making Hinata duck. The things slammed into the wall in front with a groan of tearing steel. Bloody streaks now covered the back wall, though whether it was from the thing outside or a human was impossible to tell. Through the gaps, rows of metallic black scales could be seen moving by.

Hinata popped back into view, glancing over his back in fear. "If anyone gets this message, listen to me! What we've got outside is some ungodly thing we've called an Omega Aragami. So far, the only one like this we've seen is a giant black snake, but God only knows if this fraggin' mutant has bred or not. There could be any number of the bastards by now. If you find this thing, don't fight it! It's immortal! We've tried everything to no avail. Even Devouring its core doesn't work! And the worst part is, it's sentient! This bastard remembers, it carries out plans, and it's one evil son of a bitch! All we can do is flee south across the sea and pray this thing can't swim. I'm attaching what few data files we have on this Aragami. I hope you can do what we could not and-!"

Anything else he was going to say was cut off by a scream from Hinata as he raised his arms and turned to block something. The view was instantly blocked by another flying scale, this one crashing into the camera and destroying it. Static once again filled the screen, and the video looped back to the beginning.

I cut the video off and stared dumbly at the screen. I was so stunned by the discovery that I fell onto my butt. Even though Lindow told me as much, seeing Hinata on this video still struck me like a thunderbolt. My head was spinning. Hinata was fighting an Aragami that looked a lot like Tsuchinoko. He seemed to know something important about the Aragami. And what did he mean by, "Omega Aragami?" I could only sit there for several moments before I worked up the nerve to peruse the disc further. To my utter dismay, the remaining files were encrypted, and I could not read them.

I removed the disc from the terminal, my head swimming in questions. I looked sadly at the disc. I just knew there had to be more to this story, but unless I could break the encryption it may as well be a locked safe. I did not know what to do. All I could think to do right now was to sit on the couch and ponder what I just learned. I did not know what I was expecting, but I did know one thing: Hinata clearly had another history that I never knew about. Was this because he was running from his past too?

Or was something else at play here?