Camping Trip
[Scene opens in the woods. Marco unpacks gear from the car. Star is hiding in the trunk.]
Star: Camping! [Marco was startle by Star's appearance; jumping out] What's up nature? You're gonna get tamed!
[Comet crawls out of the car]
Comet: Why did you talk me into this, Star? I don't like being out in nature.
Star: Don't be such a baby, Comet! [A Mosquito lands on her] Nature's touching me. Hey little guy. See? It's not so bad, bro. [Mosquito bites Star] Ah! Cataclysmic total extinction death blast!
Marco: Star, we're not on Mewni. [sprays bug repellent]
Comet; Well, this is fun. If anyone needs me I'll be back in the car. [Comet goes back in only to have Star pull him back out]
Star: Come on, Comet! This is your chance to finally get in touch with nature!
Comet: No thanks, I'm more of a 'stay in the castle' kind of guy.
Marco: You mean you've never been camping before.
Comet: Oh I have Diaz. But it wasn't pretty.
[Cut to flashbacks of young Comet's misfourtunes in the outdoors in mewni. Young Comet was getting eaten by a carniverous plant and young Star was pulling him out. Then Comet was defending himself from giant flies. Finally Comet was being chased by tree monsters. End flashbacks]
Comet: [frightened] Nature hates me.
Star: You're being silly, Comet. Nature doesn't hate you.
Marco: Yeah. Nature's nice here. You'll see. We'll do some fishing, a little hiking, and then... this! [holds up map]
Star: [gasps] A treasure map?
Marco: What? No. It's Old Youthful. One of the oldest geysers on Earth. And guess when it's erupting.
Star: Today?
Marco: Mmmm-hmmmm. Well, we got a big day ahead. Let's get started. [grabs fishing pole]
Star: Aren't your parents coming?
Marco: Nah. You know how most parents show slide shows of their vacations? Mine show paintings.
Rafael: [painting] And done. Next!
Angie: [changes pose]
[Rafael starts a new canvas]
Comet: You're lucky. Our dad takes camping a little too intense. He'd always try to turn me into a man like him with his lessons on wilderness survival. Ugh! They almost got me killed. I'm only glad I don't have to deal with him now that we're on earth and he's back on-
[An explosion occurs as something falls from the sky forming a crater. Star, Comet, and Marco run over to check it out. There is someone in the crater...]
King Butterfly: Camping!
Star: Dad!
Comet: Oh no...
[The scene changes. Marco, Star, Comet, and their father are fishing. The King does sit-ups on the boat, rocking it greatly.]
Star: Dad, oh, it's always great to see you. But what are you doing here?
King: [straining] What, I can't go camping with my own children? I taught you two how to camp.
Comet: Y-Yeah... Here's the thing. We're doing pretty okay camping with Marco here so there is no need for you to be here...
[King goes right up to his son]
King: Oh, nonsense my boy. Besides, this is an opportunity for you. To freshen up on your survival skills. Like how to make a Shmoojinnian mammoth skin coat using only a shapened clamshell! Remember that, Comet?
Comet: [Nervous laugh] Yeah, certainly do...
Star: But dad, there is a lot you don't know about earth nature! Look at what it gave me [holds out mosquito bitten arm]. Love bites. Here Marco. Show Dad how to Earth fish.
Marco: Yeah, sure. [hands him a fishing pole]
King: Whoa. So how do I... [hook falls in water] Amazing. Now what?
Marco: You're already doing it.
Star: Yay Dad!
Marco: [lowers his line] Now we just sit and wait.
King: [after waiting] You wait for the fish to come to you?
Marco: Just relax and take it all in. [breathes deeply] Smell that? Okay. Where'd he go?
[The King surfaces from the lake, holding a giant boulder over his head.]
King: Fishing! [swings rock] Yah. Take that and that. [finds leg, grabs and punches] Oh, gotcha now.
Marco: Is that what fishing on Mewni looks like?
Comet: No. That's what my dad looks like.
[The scene changes. The quartet is hiking]
Marco: It says Old Youthful actually got its name from early settlers who believed that it had rejuvenating powers.
Star: That sounds really...
King: Boring! Why are we walking so slow?
Comet: I'm pretty sure this is regular hiking speed, Dad. And you know you need to take it easy considering you injured your foot.
King: Oh, I don't even feel it!
Star: Come on, let me magic you up some boots.
King: I don't need any of that; I don't even need feet. [jumps onto his hands] Can you do this, huh? Can you do this? [kicks Marco lightly] I don't think you can. Want a piggyback ride, honey? Son?
Star: [laughing] Aw, Dad. [serious] No.
Comet: I'll walk...
King: Since when are you too cool for piggyback rides?
Marco: Well, I'm not too cool for a piggyback...
King: That would be weird Marco. [takes off] Race you to the water thing. [laughs]
Star: Is that the right way?
Marco: No. [runs towards him] Is your dad okay?
Comet: Not really no.
Star: Yes he is. He just really loves family camping trips. [takes out wand] Okay, where'd you go, big guy? [wand points to high up in a tree] Got him. What's he doing way up there?
[Star uses her wand as a magic parasol, and the two of them float up the King, who's in an eagle's nest.]
Star: Hey Dad. Everything alright?
King: Shh! Staring contest.
[An eagle stares unblinking at the king.]
Comet: Dad, quit messing around!
Marco: That's a bald eagle. We are breakin' a whole bunch of laws here.
King: He started it.
Star: Marco's right Dad. Let's go see Old Youthful.
King: Don't worry, darling. Once I break his spirit with my eyes, he'll fly us there. [speak gibberish to eagle and it continues to stare at him] Llama pajama llama... [pokes his eye on each syllable] pa... ja... ma. [The eagle stares] This guy's unbelievable. You can't let him beat you in front of your own son and daughter. She looks up to you. Does she though? What is that supposed to mean? Did you notice, she's pretty much over your piggyback rides. She used to love those. And she went camping without you. That Marco kid's probably her boyfriend. What? No way. [The twins and Marco stare at each other] My little girl isn't dating yet. And my son... soul he's still hasn't found his mate yet. Whatever. Keep lying to yourself, old man. Old? Who are you calling old?
Comet: Dad! Get out of there before you get us in trouble! [A siren goes off, and the king loses his focus. It is two park rangers who have come to apprehend the four] And it's too late...
[Scene changes to the ranger station. The King drops many coins on the table to pay the fine]
Star: Something is definitely goin' on with our dad.
Comet: Whatever gave you that idea?
King: Okay, everything's cool. Turns out that feathered thing was some kind of a sacred animal. Heads up would've been nice.
Comet: Listen, dad. We need to talk. I know you love to spending time with us these camping trips with us but...
King: I couldn't agree more son! In fact I have some plans to teach you on some lessons in bear language!
Comet: Uh, that's not what I was trying to say! What I mean is that you can be a little intense some times.
King: Oh, nonsense! I'm teaching you kids how to survive in the wild.
Ranger: You folks better get a move on if you wanna see that old geyser.
King: Who are you calling an old geezer⁈
[Scene change. The five continue to hike up the hill]
King: Oh. Geyser.
Star: Yes Dad, the thing Marco's been trying to see all day.
Marco: We can still make it in time. This trail should take us straight to it.
[The trail forks into a myriad of paths]
Comet: Which way do we go?
Marco: Let me see that map.
[The King crumples up the map then eats it]
Comet: Dad! What the heck was that for!
King: I was hungry. Everything is food when you're struggling to survive. Remember that, son.
Star: Except we're not on...
King: Mewni. Right. Sorry.
Marco: I'm staying positive about this. One of those trails is the right one. Maybe we'll get lucky. Eeny, meeny, miney...
[Scene changes. They are now looking at a sign that says "Old Youthful 50 Miles"]
Marco: Nooooo!
Comet: Well, we're lost.
King: You know what? I think this may be my fault.
Comet: Maybe?
King: Okay, a lot. I'm soorry I caused such a mess in your camping trip son. But how would you like to help make it up by hitching a ride.
Comet: Wow, really? I mean I don't know why you need my help to find a ride to the geyser.
King: Oh, you'll see... [They exit]
Marco: Oh man, if he could get us a ride, that would be great...
[Cut to King Butterfly and Comet near a big sleeping bear]
Comet: [whipering] Dad! Are you crazy! I can't do this!
King: Of course you can! This is your chance to practice on your bear language! Now, get in there. [Pushes Comet towards the bear. Comet was frightened] Come on, Comet! It's easy! Just say... [imitates bear growls]
Comet: Um... [Tries to imitate bear growl. The bear was still alseep] Well, looks like the bear is still asleep. Guess we're gonna find another way to hitch a ride...
[The king walks over]
King: Nonsense, boy! We just need to wake up the lazy furball!
Comet: I don't think it's wise to poke a sleeping bear.
King: Good idea! [pokes bear with a stick until the bear wakes up] Ah! There we go! Now, son. Like I told you... [The bear roars and charges at him]
Comet: Dad! [Comet rushes to the king and pushes him out of the bear's way] Oh, thank goodness you're okay.
King: [to the Bear] Is that all you've got you walking shag carpet?!
[The bear roars in anger as it charges at the two. Comet jumps out of the way and into the bear's back]
King: That's the spirit, son! Grab the bear by the fur! [The king grabs the fur and he and Comet were riding on the bear]
Comet: Waaah!
[The two continued to ride the bear through forest]
Marco: [hears something in the distance] Do you hear that?
Star: [sees something in the distance] Do you see that?
[The Comet, King Butterfly, and the bear were charging towards Star and Marco. They scream and soon they were all riding the bear with the rangers in pursuit]
[Scene changes again to the ranger station. The king pays another load of coins and his crown]
Ranger: You'll never make it to Old Youthful now. He goes off in five minutes, and it's a ten-mile hike.
Star: I'm sorry Marco.
King: Oh, come on. What's the big deal?
Comet: [angry] You know what!? YOU'RE the big deal! All day you've got us in nothing but trouble! I didn't want to be out here in the first place because nature hates me! But no! You had to come crashing down here and teach us all about surviving in Mewni wilderness. Well guess what? WE'RE NOT IN MEWNI! We are in earth! And another thing- [Star stops him]
Star: Woah, okay! Take it easy, bro! Go to your happy place! [To the King] What Comet was trying to say is. What's is up with you, Dad? You've been acting really weird all day, and not only Comet is having a breakdown, but now Marco's plans are basically ruined. He really wanted to see Old Youthful.
Marco: No Star, I've seen it, like, ten times. I wanted you guys to see it. You two have shown me all kinds of amazing stuff I never knew existed. I just wanted to pay you back. Show you something amazing here on Earth.
Comet: Wow, Marco. I never knew. I'm sorry my dad ruined everything.
Marco: That's okay, we could go see Old Youthful some other time.
Ranger: Oh, you poor, poor boy. Didn't nobody tell you?
Marco: What?
Ranger: This here eruption is gonna be the last.
Comet: What do you mean the last?
Ranger: Those big-city scientists gave that geyser a look-see, and he's all dried up. He's been fadin' away for years. Oh, he used to be impressive. King of the geysers. But now, he's just a sad shadow of his former glory. Aged out and obsolete. Ready to retire and getting in everybody's way. Yes sir, to use clever wordplay, Old Youthful is plumb out of youth.
[As the Ranger spoke, the King felt depressed as he mentioned how old the geyser is]
Marco: We should just go.
King: [dramatically] Yes, Marco. We will go... and see that geyser.
Marco: Didn't you hear what that guy said? It's impossible.
King: Is it?
Ranger: Tick-tock. [slowly] tick... tock.
Comet: Will you cut that out!
King: What do you say, kids? One last piggyback ride from your old man?
[Star and Comet looked at each other]
Comet: I'm not sure about this.
Star: Come on, Comet! He's helping us see the geyser!
Comet: Yeah, after he almost got us killed!
Star: But, Bro! He's our dad! Sure he's a little off sometimes but he's just trying to bond with us. With you!
[Comet thought about it. Soon enough the Twins and Marco were riding King butterfly's shoulders as he runs through the forest, unstopping, through the leaping deer, past the eagle's nest, jumping up a waterfall, across rocks like a goat, through a war reenactment, surviving cannon blast]
Marco: We're almost there. Just a glacier and two more war re-enactments.
Star: You hear that, Dad?
King: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[Scene changes. A geyser is surrounded by lots of people taking pictures. But as the King arrives, it suddenly stops and the people walk way.]
Marco: No!
[The King falls face first on the ground]
Twins: Dad!
King: I'm so sorry, kids. I let you down.
Marco: Are you out of your mind? You ran ten miles in five minutes; that's like, a hundred and fifty miles an hour.
King: I used to be able to do it in four minutes. I'm not that dad I used to be Star. You need someone younger to take care of you now. Someone like your brother... [Comet smiles] ...Or your boyfriend Marco.
Marco: I'm not her boyfriend.
Comet: Look, dad. I'm sorry I've been so disagreeable with you. and I'm sorry I wasn't more open to nature. Of course You're not old. You're the king of Mewni! You'll never be useless with a whole kingdom beside you! Amd... I'm sorry I always belittled your teaching skills. Star was right, you were just trying to bond with us.
Star: Yeah. And no matter how old we get, you'll always be our hero because you'll always be our dad.
King: [smiles] Come here you [hugs the Twins]
Marco: Well, it's gettin' chilly out, so what do you say we go find you some pants? [slaps the King's back]
[The King stumbles, falling on top of the geyser's crater. The geyser rumbles, erupting in a huge blast of water which sends the King soaring high into the sky and creates a rainbow.]
Star: Wow!
Other ranger: You gotta stop lying to the tourists about that geyser, man.
Ranger: Yeah I know, but it sure is fun.
[Back at the geyser]
Star: Marco. It's beautiful.
Comet: [Astonished by the geyser's beauty] Never in my life have I've seen water this beautiful...
[The king lands on the ground, creating another huge crater. It burns away a lot of his outside]
King: Look kids!
[Comet was digusted by his dad's new look]
Star: Dad. You look so young.
Marco: Yeah. Fresh-out-of-the-womb young.
Comet: I can not unsee that...
King: Brand new dad!
[Scene changes to the Diaz's place. Mr. Diaz is showing off the paintings he created]
Rafael: And here's the king with his arms up. [changes painting] And here's the king putting his arms down. [changes painting] And here he is walking out of the crater. [changes painting] And climbing out of the crater...
Star: This is so much better than a slide show.