So hi! Basically I was challenged to think of the crackiest pairing I could and write a fanfiction of them. You know what pairing I thought of? RomexAmerica. You know what I then thought of? TIME TRAVEL! Who doesn't love time travel!? I love time travel. You know what I thought of then? The fact that America has, I believe, a doctorate in archaeology. You know who has a lot of ruins? The Italies. You know who hangs with Veneziano a lot? Germany. You know who wouldn't be there? Romano. So you know what? VENEZIANO SHOWING AMERICA AROUND HIS RUINS AND GERMANY TAGGING ALONG AND THEN TIME TRAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! I'm sorry, I'm really excited about this. So. I don't own Hetalia (obviously). ONTO THE STORY
WISE MEN SAY ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN BUT I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
"Hey, Veneziano?" Veneziano looked up as he was addressed by America.
"Ve~ Yes, America?" Veneziano asked.
"This is kinda a weird question, and you don't hafta if you don't wanna but… I was wondering if you would mind showing me around some of your ruins?" America asked, looking away and blushing.
"Ve~? Why me? Greece has way more," Veneziano chirped.
"Well, yeah, but Greece already showed me his. They were really cool and informative. So I wanna see the difference between Ancient Greek and Ancient Roman architecture," America said.
"Ve~ wow, America! I didn't know you were so smart! Sure I'll show you, but you hafta do something for me, first," Veneziano said.
"Sure, whatever you want," America said.
"First, Germany gets to come along!" America nodded his consent, "And second, you don't get to wear baggy clothes like you always do! All your clothes have to actually fit you."
"Alright. I have some jeans and tanks that aren't too big for me. What's the weather like?" America asked.
Veneziano looked thoughtful, "Ve~ About this time of year it'll be pretty hot, and a bit humid. A tank top and jeans should work, but shorts would be better."
"Alright. Can we do it next week?" America asked.
"Ve~ Why not just do it now?" Veneziano asked.
"Well, I mean, we're in the middle of a series of meetings."
Ve~ But we're at my house, so why not just do it now? Germany won't mind, will you, Germany?" Germany looked away from where he was supervising a fight between Austria and Switzerland.
"Mind what?" Germany asked.
"Ve~ I was going to show America around some of my ruins, and we wanted you to come along," Veneziano explained.
"Alright. I'll come along. Just let me change my clothes," Germany said.
"Ve~ America can change his clothes, too," Veneziano said.
SHALL I STAY? WOULD IT BE A SIN? IF I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
America met up with Germany and Veneziano outside of the hotel. They were standing in front of a black car, waiting for him. Germany wore his usual military trousers and a black tank top, his Iron Cross hanging around his neck and a pair of sunglasses perched atop his head. Veneziano wore cargo shorts and an orange tee shirt with… was that a map of Italy on it? Wow. Okay. America was not expecting that.
"Ve~ You take a long time, America," Veneziano said.
"Yeah, sorry. I was… taking a shower," America said, trying to think up a formidable excuse. Really, he had had trouble with the buttons on his uniform shirt. That really was to be expected, after all, America had been raised by butlers and maids and other household servants. He was still figuring out how to dress himself.
"That's alright. Do you need sunscreen?" Germany asked as they climbed into the car.
"Nah, that's alright. My skin doesn't burn," America answered.
"Alright, we should get going then," Germany said.
From there on, the car ride and the arrival at the ruins was rather awkward. The three weren't very close, and they didn't really know how to talk to each other. Or, at least, Germany and Veneziano didn't know how to talk to America. But, then again, who really did? Even his own brother didn't know how to approach the powerful young nation.
"Ve~ America seems happy," Veneziano commented, standing away from America next to Germany. America was currently examining a column, running a brush over it and then jotting stuff down in a small notebook he had.
"Ja, he does. Did you know he was into archaeology?" Germany asked.
"Ve~ No, not at all. But I don't really know much about him," Veneziano said.
"That's true," Germany said.
"Ve~ You knew him as a kid, right, Germany?" Veneziano asked.
"Ja, I did. Though we mostly spoke through letters. He didn't have much time for friends when he was older than a toddler," Germany said, "He was always busy with studies or meetings whenever I went to his place. And whenever he came to Europe, he was always skipping around courts. One week he'd be in the Spanish court and the next the French, and as soon as I got there to visit he'd be in the English again."
"Ve~ Sounds like he had a busy childhood," Veneziano said.
"Hey, guys? There's something odd over here," America called. Germany and Veneziano quickly made their way over to the young nation to look at what he was pointing at.
"Ve~ What is that?" Veneziano asked.
"Dunno. Just found it, all glowy like that." what America said was true. Strangely, a plain stone, covered in dust, sat glowing a bright white on the ground. It wasn't anything special, not a jewel or anything. Just a plain stone.
"Welp," America continued, "When in doubt, poke it." With that, he harshly poked the stone with his forefinger and everything went white.
LIKE A RIVER FLOWS SURELY TO THE SEA DARLING SO IT GOES SOMETHINGS ARE MEANT TO BE
America woke with a throbbing head for more than one reason. The first, was that it seemed he'd hit his head harshly on a stone and it was now bleeding, the second reason was that Veneziano was screeching in his ear.
"Veneziano! Veneziano!" America yelled, "You are screeching in my ear, stoppit!"
"Ve~ America! You're alive! Oh, thank god," Veneziano chirped happily.
"Yeah, I am. Where are we?" America lifted Veneziano to his feet and looked around himself, seeing the clothes people outside of their little alley were wearing, "Er, lemme correct that. When are we?"
"23 BC," Germany intoned from his spot leaning against a wall.
"Um, how d'you know that?" America asked.
"I asked someone. They thought I was just a daft Germanic, don't worry," Germany said.
"Germanic…? 23 BC? This is the year of the fall of Rome! Wow, this is a great learning experience," America said, not noticing as Veneziano stiffened.
"'Ciano…? Are you alright?" Germany asked quietly as America immediately started examining the stonemanship, paying no mind to the other two nations with him.
"Ve~ I-I… Grandpa Rome is still alive. Maybe we could find him! He could help us, I could… I could say goodbye…" Veneziano said, his voice quieting with every word. Germany placed his arm around the older nation's shoulders, comforting him.
"If we explain to him what is going on, he could help us get back. Do you know the way to his palace?" Germany asked.
"Ve~ Most definitely. But… what do we do about America? I can pass as Roman, and you as Germanic. But America can't pass as a European at all! Not with hair and skin like that," Veneziano said, looking quizzically at the young nation.
"We'll be telling your grandfather we're from the future, so we don't need to pass him off as a European," Germany said.
"Ve~ That makes sense," Veneziano said.
"What about clothes? I can pass mine off as Germanic, but should you and America get a, uh, what is that called?" Germany asked.
"A chilton?" America asked, walking up, "It would make it easier for us to blend in and get to the Imperial Palace easier."
"Ve~ What America said," Veneziano chirped.
"How do we get some?" America asked.
"Ve~ Here! Germany can go buy us some," Veneziano said.
"Where do I buy clothes here?" Germany asked.
"There'll be a large complex in Quirinal Hill. It's called Trajan's Market, or it is in our time. It's a large collection of a bunch of shops. You should be able to find a clothes shop there," America said absentmindedly, running his fingers through his blood matted hair.
"Ve~ How do you know this?" Veneziano asked.
"I have a doctorate in archaeology," America said.
"Ve~ Alright! Germany! We need the clothes," Veneziano said. Germany nodded and headed off after getting basic instructions on where to go from America.
"Did I upset you by mentioning Ancient Rome, before?" America asked.
"Ve~ A little bit. But people talk about him all the time, so I'm kind of used to it. It just disarmed me. Usually people talk about his achievements, not his fall. Which, uh, would not be a good thing to talk about in front of him. If he asks, tell him he's still the greatest country in the world," Veneziano said.
"Alright. Afterall, something like that could actually lead to him becoming more paranoid and end up destroying the empire," America said. Veneziano nodded, though he had no idea what that meant. There was a stretch of silence between them, before Veneziano asked,
"Ve~ America? What do you think happened? What sent us here?"
"Most likely a flux in the time-space continuum," America said absentmindedly.
"Ve~ What does that mean?"
"It means that when we- or more specifically I- touched that rock, time slowed down so intensely that instead of progressing in a normal stream towards a farther point, it regressed so much that it sent us back in time. 2'040 years back, specifically. Wow. How old are you, in this time?"
"Ve~ I was around 100 or so, Big Brother Romano was around 200. Though physically we're both only babies, Romano about two years older."
"Wow. I… my father hadn't even had me yet."
"Father? I didn't know you had a father."
"Native America. Ata'halne, as he was often referred to as. It means 'he who interrupts'. It suit him really well."
"Did he fall, too?"
"Eh, sort of. He, uh, he kind of-"
"I got the clothes," Germany interrupted, walking into the alley way. America turnt his gaze to the blond and smiled, standing up.
"Great! So, uh, how do we put these on?" Veneziano and Germany face-palmed.
TAKE MY HAND TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE TOO CAUSE I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
After about fifteen minutes helping (a highly embarrassed) America get on a chilton, the trio set off to the Imperial Palace.
"Did you know that in Tsarist Russia, the home of the royal family was also referred to as the Imperial Palace?" America asked as they walked. Germany and Veneziano did, in fact, know this. But spouting off random and unneeded facts seemed to be helping America with his embarrassment at the fact that the chilton was practically a dress.
"Really?" Germany said, just to humour the nervous nation.
"Yeah. At one point, Russia kept being given fake members of his royal family from Sweden and Poland. All of them were named Dmitri, I don't think he ever caught on until he was told about it. Or he was amused and played along. He does that a lot," America rambled.
"Know a lot about Russia, do you?" Germany asked.
America nodded, "Prior to the rise of communism in his country, the two of us were really good friends. But we had conflicting interests at the time and so we became sort-of enemies. But we're really good friends, now. He tells me a lot about his history, mainly because I ask. I like knowing what makes people who they are, and Russia's bloody history made him the man he is today."
"Ve~ What? Bloodthirsty and psychotic?" Veneziano asked jokingly.
"No," America's voice was hard and cold, "Russia is not bloodthirsty or psychotic. He is mentally unstable, that much is true, but he is unaware or his own cruelty and truly unable to control his strength. He doesn't mean to hurt someone, never has outside of war or protecting himself or others. He is not, never has been, and never will be a bad person. He is a deeply disturbed individual that is in need of help, and he cannot receive the help he needs if people like you say things like that. You all are just big bullies to him."
"America, you misunderstand. We- Veneziano didn't mean to insult or bully Russia, he meant it in a joking manner," Germany said, trying to placate the young nation.
"Oh. Sorry. Anyway. Did you know that at one point three guys all declared themselves pope at the same time and then excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest thing in the world," America said. Germany didn't know this, but Veneziano did.
"Ve~ I remember that! It was so funny and chaotic," Veneziano laughed.
"One time my country went to war over a pig," America said absently, kicking a rock to the side.
"What?"
"What?"
"Nevermind…" Germany looked away, confused.
"Ve~ We're here," Veneziano said.
Veneziano marched right up to the guard and knocked on his helmet four times.
"Ve~ It's a code that we're here to see the avatar, not the emperor. Only other avatars know it, so we'll immediately be let in," Veneziano explained. The guard ushered them through.
"D'ya know where to go?" America asked.
"If course. This place is really big, so stick with me so you don't get lost. It happens more often than you'd think." America had never seen Veneziano's eyes open before, and he was struck with how bright they were when the old nation turnt to him.
I WAS A LITTLE TOO TALL COULDA USED A FEW POUNDS WITH TOO TIGHT PANTS AND A FEW POINTS
The Roman Empire opened his door as soon as they knocked. He was tall and unusually handsome, with a brown curly hair and a slight beard. Veneziano had his eyes. And his face. The two were very similar. Roman Empire's eyes immediately fell on America, and his eyebrows rose.
"Hello," Roman Empire said, his gaze still focused on the youngest of the group.
"Ve~ Hello! We're from the future." Veneziano said.
Roman Empire's eyebrows shot into his hairline, "Certainly the oddest thing I've ever been introduced to with."
"It's true. There was a flux in the time-space continuum and it send us 2'040 years into the past. We're from the year 2017," America said.
"Beauty and brains. Certainly quite the package. What's on your face?" Roman Empire asked. America pushed up his wire rim glasses and looked to the side.
"They're called glasses. They help me to see," America continued, "We need your help in getting back to our actual time."
Roman Empire sighed, "Come on in."
SHE WAS A BLACK HAIRED BEAUTY WITH BIG DARK EYES AND A FEW POINTS OF HER OWN
"So what you're telling me, is that you touched a stone in the future and it sent you back here, and you decided that it would be best to seek me out for help?" Roman Empire asked, after a few hours of the trio explaining their situation to him.
"Ve~ Yes," Veneziano said.
"And that you're my youngest grandson," Veneziano nodded, "You're the grandson of my best friend and guard," Germany nodded, "And that this beauty right here is the second most powerful country in the world in your normal time?" America was actually the most powerful, but they had told Roman Empire that he was the most powerful nation in order to keep up the pretense that the Roman Empire had not fallen. The fall of the Roman Empire was something that took years, but four years before it had officially fallen the first time and the avatar looked quite well. A little more tired than he should be, but healthy.
"Why does he keep calling me beautiful?" America whispered to Veneziano as Roman Empire stood and walked a little way away to get himself a drink.
"He likes exotic things. You're not his grandson, nor Germania or anyone that he knows of. You also don't look like anyone he knows. He likes that," Veneziano answered, his voice a whisper as well.
"I don't like it. I feel weird, knowing that he's, uh, you know, in our normal time," America said.
Veneziano nodded, "Believe me, there is nothing more awkward than watching your grandfather flirt with someone a few thousand years younger than him."
"What're you guys whispering about?" America and Veneziano screeched in surprise at the same time, both of them falling off the settee they were seated upon. Roman Empire laughed heartily, clutching his stomach at the dramatic reaction.
America huffed and sat up, pushing his glasses back in place, "Rude."
IT'S A DEAD MAN'S PARTY WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE LEAVE YOUR BODY AT THE DOOR
So I know for a fact that this is the longest thing I've ever written for you guys. I love it. It does actually have a plot… I'm kidding. There is sort of a plot, but mostly it's some fluff for this crack pairing that I somehow fell in love with along the way of writing this? It's weird. I ship America with everyone. I have the ending all planned out, I know how it ends. And it will most likely be a series. Of one shots, actually. Progressing for four years, in the story. Who knows how long it will take to write all of what I want to. So. Yeah. This is it for the first one shot in the series. I don't know how long this series will be, I guess however long it takes me to get to my point.
Until Next Time, this is Italy's Driving saying; That's All Folks!