Disclaimer:
I do not own the Thunderbirds, in any way shape or form, past or present. If I did, I would gladly share them. Well, maybe not Virgil, him I would like to keep for myself...

Author's Note:

This is my drabble series, centred around Virgil. Standalones that mostly didn't fit in anywhere else. Weekly updates expected, feedback is always appreciated. Special thanks to my beta Kylie, for encouraging me to put my incoherent thoughts into words.

Nightmares

The blinking icon displayed on Thunderbird 5 indicated to John, that there was an incoming call from one of his brothers on Tracy Island.

That was hardly surprising, his brothers would call him at all times of the day, knowing that his sleep pattern was erratic at best. No, what was worrying was who was calling: Virgil - who treasured his sleep above everything else, who refused to get up before noon on his days off. Glancing at his watch, it was 3am on the island now. What could Virgil be calling him about?

"Virgil?" John asked, as he picked up the call. The call was audio only, which was another worrying thing, since Virgil was more of the visual type, being the island's resident artist.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sounds of heavy breathing, as Virgil struggled to catch his breath.

"Virge?" John tried again.

"Give me a minute…" Virgil choked, as he sounded like he wanted to cry.

Now John was really worried. "You alright, Bro?"

"I'm not sure…" Virgil laughed bitterly "Who am I kidding? I wouldn't be calling you if I was…"

"You wanna talk about it?" John threaded carefully. "That's why you called me, right?"

"Always reading our minds, like an open book." Virgil joked nervously.

"Hey…" John tried again. "Don't change the subject, Virge. Something's clearly bothering you."

"And don't give me that 'I'm fine' crap, 'cos you're not…" not by a long shot, John thought, hoping this change in tactic, could somehow get the younger Tracy to open up.

"Damn these nightmares, Johnny…" Virgil's soft voice said quietly. "Remember that mudslide in Croatia?" He continued. "The woman who died, before we could get her to medical aid? I keep seeing her face in my dreams."

"Virge…" John sighed. He should have known what the call was about.

"Over and over, I see her. She blames me for failing her, says that I caused her death... And I did. She died because of me, didn't she?"

"There was nothing you could do. She was already gone when you reached her. You got as many out of that hotel as you could. The fact the building was halfway down the mountain when you arrived, was always going to mean there would be casualties."

"If it was possible to save everyone we wanted…" John paused, as if choosing his next words carefully. "Just know that you did your best. No one can expects more than that. You put your own lives at risk to get the other 45 people out."

Virgil laughed bitterly, "Then why doesn't it feel that way? I can't close my eyes without having her haunt my dreams…" He sounded on the verge of tears.

"It's alright Virgil. I wish I could make it go away. I wish I didn't have to send you out on that call. At least you remember faces, and see the thank you of the ones you do save."

"I'm sorry John. I forget how tough missions are for you too." Virgil sniffed.

"I'm as emotionally in tune as a tree stump remember? Gordon keeps reminding me." John joked, as he rolled his eyes at the mental imagine of Gordon teasing him.

"But in all seriousness, there is always one that will haunt you, no matter if you did your hardest. I'm pretty sure anything involving children still gets to Scotty." John then pried gently. "But there was more to the dream, wasn't there?"

"Geesh John, how do you do it?" Virgil cried, "I… I'm barely holding it together, as it is."

"Virgil, you don't have to put up a front with me… Tell me… please?"

Virgil took a deep breath, before beginning. "Every time I reach her body, and I turn her over… She… She turns into one of you. Dead and lifeless, all because I couldn't get to you in time."

"And?" John asked, feeling there was more that Virgil wasn't letting on.

"It's always different each time. Some nights it's Scott, other nights it'd be Gordon or Alan…"

"Let me guess, this time it was me?"

Virgil nodded, forgetting his brother couldn't see him. "It's mostly either you or Scott. But with you it's harder, you know? I can't exactly walk across the hall to make sure you're really ok." He laughed bitterly. "I've seen all of you die, a thousand times over in my head…"

"Oh Virge…" said John, wishing he could reach out to his brother, and give him the reassuring hug he needed.

"Times like this, I wish you were home…"

"Me too..." John smiled. "Tell you what. Tomorrow, I'd put in a request to Dad to end my rotation early. I miss sitting with you at the piano."

"I'd like that… very much." Virgil smiled a little. "God, I'm a mess aren't I? *sigh* Hey John? Thanks for listening…"

"That's what I'm for, right Virgil?" John said playfully. "You should try and get some sleep." He suggested gently.

Virgil sighed, knowing that John was right as usual. "Night, Big Brother."

"Night, Virgil. No more nightmares, alright?"

"No more nightmares…" Virgil smiled, as he ended the call.

END