The Seeds of Despair Part 2

Infatuation can be a very cruel thing. It is not simply admiration gone awry but is a mixture of lust, desperation, twisted into it. Now there are few who can be infatuated and still hold a sense of decency and composure around their idol and there are a few who, admittedly, come off as awkward and strange to those who acquired such attention but, every so often, there will be someone whose attraction is so…intense that it may cause them to do unspeakable acts. Jun Enoshima was no exception.

Now at first it had been easy enough to toy with his one-night stand. He'd ignore her when she tried to contact him, flirt with her when they were in private, flirt with others when they were in public, and of course lie to her on many occasions. He'd state his reasons for doing these things was to keep up appearances with the public so that he wouldn't lose his job, his behavior with other girls was to get contact with people of higher so he could continue in being successful, his neglectfulness of her on the grounds of his profession taking up too much of his time, and overall, he lied to simply toy with her mind. Holding hands with her and kissing passionately, pushing her away as if she was a nuisance, sometimes yelling at her whenever he needed space, and caressing her gently whenever he was in the mood for another romp. All in all, it was good fun but like everything he did things just kinda got boring after a while. At least that's what should be the case….

He couldn't do it. The lying, the teasing, the kissing, the caressing, he's done them all before and on multiple occasions. It was like a game for him, one that that could hold his interest for more than a few moments without total boredom. He'd find a girl, make them fall in love with him, mess with them for as long as he could, and then dump them like the pathetic piece of trash they were. All to see the exquisite despair that plastered their face each and every time. To see the look of the girl who would put her heart and soul into making him happy be utterly crushed and destroyed by his words was pure bliss. The crying mess he'd leave them in was a cherry on top of a magnificent despair sundae that he could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner without any care for the stomach ache of guilt and self-loathing he'd feel later. Yes, as surprising as it was that as much as Jun loved to torment others, he too wanted to feel despair. So, every woman he took was one that he had an attraction to, physically and emotionally, but even so they would all bore him each and every time to the point where he just wouldn't care anymore and dump them when he was done. The despair for him was limited at that point but the combination of her total despair and his minuscule amount made up for it. Mako though….

She didn't fit the mold! She hadn't given him a reason to break up with her yet. Every other girl would bore him at this point, but somehow, she didn't. It was like whenever he tried to get a read on her, to predict what was going to happen as he always did, things would never always go the way he wanted it to. She was clumsy and plain and had no interesting aspects to her what so ever. So why the fuck did he want to stay around her?! She didn't even have a talent for fuck's sake, not a real one anyways. He had met the, quote unquote, Ultimate Lucky Student and quite frankly he was always bored with him. He was just so predictable, there was no incident that Jun couldn't already for see so the lucky bastard wasn't even worth caring about but Mako just didn't have that about her. She didn't have that predictability, no obvious incidents, she was an unknown but at the same time she could be read like a freakin book. It just didn't make sense to him. How could one so plain, so average, no special, annoyingly hopeful bitch keep his interest longer than anyone else? Even Mukuro noticed this! She never cares to notice anything, not unless it involves him anyways. Damn it all! What the hell was this girl doing to him?!

"Jun…. Jun…. are you there? Jun…"

Jun flinched as he heard his sister's voice. He had asked her to go out and get him some coffee so he could be alone with his thoughts but still he hadn't thought she'd be back so soon. Another example of what Mako was doing to him.

"Ugh, what is it Mukuro?"

"I-I got your coffee for you."

Mukuro held out the coffee she had ran across town to get.

"Good job sis, you know how to follow simple directions. What, you wanna cookie?"

"Um, no I'm good"

With a roll of his eyes, Jun drank the lukewarm beverage. He knew sending Mukuro off to a certain coffee shop far away would do this but honestly, he just wanted an excuse to insult her. Not that he truly needed an excuse to begin with but somehow, he felt it more satisfying when she truly believed it was her own fault.

"So…...how's Mako?"

Jun set down his coffee to address his sister. It was the same question everyday since they started dating. "How was Mako? How was Mako?" Like a broken record that he didn't get around to smashing and throwing away. Honestly it wasn't surprising Mukuro cared so much considering Mako wasted no time in being her best friend. Never had his insults received such little reaction or care from her since Mako would always make her feel "special" and "accepted," as much as those words were wrong in reality. Annoying yes, but insulting his sister and getting the exact same responses every time was getting boring so at least this gave him a chance to be more creative.

"She's as hopeful as ever. Kinda pissing me at this point but she definitely makes things interesting."

"Well that's good…"

Jun took a sip from his now unpleasant tasting coffee.

"I mean I keep on wanting to break up with her and taste despair but I just can't do it. I have no idea why but I just can't do it."

He noticed his sister flinch for a moment, her mouth slightly hanging open in surprise.

"W-wow Jun."

Before she could gather her thoughts and say something else Jun decided to stop her. He knew right then how annoying she was going to be in a minute and too be honest he didn't want to hear it.

"Oh what, you gonna go on a tirade and tell me that I've actually fallen in love with someone or some sappy shit?"

Mukuro looked away in embarrassment.

"Um….no?"

Jun took another swig of his drink, which was now boarding on the line to cold and somewhat lukewarm. Something told him she had another comment lined up.

"Not anymore…"

And he was right once again. Honestly with all the thoughts of Mako swarming his head he was already getting in a bad mood. The fact that Mukuro was about to comment on his relationship and make a big, mushy, hope filled, and obvious speech about it only seemed to worsen things. In fact, the only thing that was keeping him from getting angry was the coffee that was…...now ice cold.

Furiously, Jun crushed the cold beverage in his hand and threw it at his sister, slightly praying for the disgusting drink to drench her and cause discomfort. Mukuro dodged the brown liquid as it sailed through the air and splattered against the floor. Now she would know his furry.

"God damn it!"

Jun swore as he stood up from the couch, his hands clenched into fists to show his anger. Mukuro nearly jumped in surprise at the outburst.

"Jun?!"

"I can't believe it! I just can't fucking believe it!"

"Jun what's wrong?! What are you talking about?!"

Jun stopped, and said nothing. He wanted to say what he was thinking, why he was so angry. It wasn't the coffee, it wasn't his sister's hopeful views on Mako, it wasn't anything so trivial. No, this was something that forced its way into his mind, something that he never imagined could ever happen to him. He couldn't accept it, he shouldn't accept it, he fucking hated it from the pit of his gut but try as he might he couldn't escape it. Nothing could.

"I love her."

"What?"

"You heard me bitch. I said I love her."

Mukuro was stunned. He knew she understood how things worked between him and the people he dated so it never surprised her whenever he said something rude or selfish about them. But never did he say those three words about the person he was dating, at least not by actually meaning it. He could tell this was a whole new deal for her. Mukuro opened her mouth to speak but Jun cut her off before she had the chance.

"Don't, I already know what you're going to say. Every time I bring some slut into my life it's only just for fun. Just a quick fuck and a toss on the side of the road. But Mako she's…...she's…."

"She's special."

It was Mukuro who said the words but for once she had been right. The feelings he was having was more than just an elevation from boredom, more than just lustful satisfaction, more than just simple entertainment that could be taken from anybody dumb enough to fall for him. This was love, genuine love. And it was something he would want to treasure forever….

"Kill her."

The words left his lips so fluidly you'd of think he'd be asking about the weather instead the death of his girlfriend. Mukuro's jaw dropped in shock.

"What?!"

The frantic look on his sister's face was almost entertaining.

"You got dirt in those ugly ears of yours? I said kill her. You know, put her six feet deep and all that."

"B-b-but I thought you said-"

"I know what I said but that's why I'm telling you to."

"Huh?"

"Don't you see Mukuro? This is the perfect chance to do it! Now that I love her, I can finally kill her and feel that incredible despair."

Jun could feel his despair well up inside him.

"Ah man, just thinking about it is making me-"

"N-no."

A silent pause. Jun heard the words and saw the movement of his sister's mouth but still it felt unreal to him. Did his sister actually say no to him? Too him?!

"What?"

"I said no! I won't kill Mako! She's my friend and accepts me for who I am! I won't hurt her!"

A look of determination and defiance showed on his sister's face and revealed just how true her words were. She was serious about this, she would refuse his order to kill her friend and stand up to him instead. Never once did Jun expect for this to happen. All the years of control, abuse, and manipulation, nearly undone by one girl. Though this confidence was temporary she would rebel against him, if only for her. For once in such a long time, Jun could not see it coming.

"That cunt. She even turned my own sister against me."

Jun could feel in eyes widen in surprise as he realized how much power had been taken away from him. The sister he loved would no longer be under his complete control and there was nothing he could do about it.

"This despair, it's so amazing."

The fashion boy laughed as his eyes swirled with the amazing feeling. Just knowing he lost control of one of his most valuable tools in such a short amount of time made him feel like a total failure. His sister looked on with sadness and regret but her views on Mako had definitely not changed.

"Jun…. I won't abandon you but please, don't make me do it."

"Alright Mukuro dear, you win. I won't have you kill her."

"Thank you, Jun."

Jun could see his sister relax with his deceleration to spare her best friends life. If only things were that fair for her.

"I'll just have to figure something else out to make up for it. Who knows, maybe I'll find something just as despairing and keep her alive at the same time! Wouldn't that be a challenge?"

"Jun…"

The tone of her voice was that of disappointment. He knew that she wanted Mako to live but there was no doubt that she knew just how creative Jun could be with his punishments. Who knows, maybe he'll be able to get his sister to feel the sweet feeling of despair he loved for so very long.

"Ah don't worry sis, maybe someday you'll find a special someone who doesn't see you as the pathetic, useless bitch you so clearly are, but until then I think you should listen to what your darling little brother has to say."

Jun patted his sister on the head with the same degradation he normally did. Normally this would be slightly irritating for someone since it was the same way you'd treat a dog but his sister was a special case. While most people would be angry and glare and maybe say some pretty mean words, Mukuro would blush and breath heavy like a bitch in heat waiting to get fucked. Out of all the things he loved about his sister; this was definitely not one.

"Now make yourself useful and go set up the killing game and make sure to tell Kamakura too."

Mukuro sighed.

"Alright Jun."

With that, Mukuro made herself scarce and went to go tell Kamakura Izuru the plans for the first ever killing game. He knew she hated dealing with him, the fact the former reserve course student had beaten her and nearly killed him, making her quite resentful. Jun personally didn't like dealing with him either but he suited a purpose. It's not like he could ever convince the experiment to despair since the idiot had nothing to despair about but Jun would keep that fact to himself. Maybe if he was lucky he would make Kamakura despair by taunting him on how he was so easily manipulated. If not despair then at least anger, whatever to get a reaction out of the damn bastard. Really any sort of emotion on that thing would be an accomplishment in itself but somehow that seemed like a goal that was too far away to try. Oh well, he wasn't interesting enough to care about anyways, not like Mako was.

"Now to put my plan into action."

Jun could feel his excitement growing more and more over the prospect harming his girlfriend. His love for her had forced the feeling of hope inside his soul and nearly turned him away from his need for despair. It disgusted him more than anything. He loved her more than anybody he's ever dated before and no matter what he knew that there would never be another girl that would win his heart like she did. For him, he needed this feeling, this love, this ugly and disgusting hope, so that when the time was right he could fall into a pit of despair that would destroy him to his very core. It wouldn't just be him either, oh no, because what good is despair if there is no one around to share it with? If he had it his way then he'd make sure that everybody would feel the amazing agony that was despair and maybe, with enough planning and patience, he could come up with a new plan to destroy all his friends and crush what little remaining hope they had. After causing the tragedy, naturally. Just imagining the horrible things he could do to her gave him an ecstasy that couldn't possibly be described, but with a pain that was too horrible to even stand. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest and stabbed over and over while being burned with acid and run over with a truck, as his dark imaginations continued to invade his mind. With his thoughts occupied with his plan, Jun didn't notice when his voice acted on its own and said three words he would never care to imagine.

"Mako…... I'm sorry."

So, with a tear on his cheek and a smile on his face Jun picked up his phone and, with one phone call, set in motion something that would give him the greatest despair of all time. Tonight at 7 he would lose the one thing that gave him hope in this boring and pathetic world and, if he was to be quite honest, he wasn't sure he could wait.

Wow…. just…wow. This was hard. I could not, for the life of me, come up with something that would fit the "Jun Enoshima" mold. I mean I could write about a number of twisted and cruel things that would make everybody cringe in fear but in terms of emotional drama? And from a character like his? Definitely not my strong suit. If a number of people have a problem with this then I can go back and redo it but considering my piss poor time on updating I ask that you all make sure ALL of the flaws are out before telling me to change.

It terms of lack of detail on Jun's manipulation of Mako I guess I was just tired of my writer's block and had to throw something out there just to show I was still alive. Plus, with all the plans Junko had in the anime, it'd be difficult to juggle a relationship at all but we all know Mako would stand by him regardless of the treatment, especially considering what kind of fanfiction this is.

Anyways I could write up more but it's 3:00 am and I've been writing since 9:30PM so please message me for any criticism and remember to comment if you want. I'll probably make two more chapters of this pairing before moving on to another vote for you all so don't worry about a 10-extra chapter for the same story. Need to get this moving am I right? Anyways I thank you for reading and I wish you all the best.

Peace!