Hello everyone. A quick introduction. I've written fics a very long time ago and in a different category (and a different account name I can't even remember anymore hah). This is my first attempt on a the 100 story and its main focus will be around Clarke and Lexa. But I will take some side steps every now and then. It's a dark story, no such thing as blood must not have blood in here. So be warned for a lot of M rated stuff in it.

Another thing you should know, I am Dutch and thus English is not my first language. It's been incredibily difficult to write this story because of that. I had a little help from a friend but it still took me a lot of time and effort to write it. So another small warning, I am a slow writer not only due to the language barrier but also because the time for it in my personal life is limited. But I'll do my best to update it as much as I possibly can. (If you like it ofc :P )

A few things I feel you should know before you start reading. The story starts about where Season 2 left off. I can already tell you there will be no ALIE and no Pike. All this city of light stuff has never been to my liking and it will not be present in my story. I went for Arkadia instead of Camp Jaha. More than that I will not reveal.

I gave it some thought and went for some pieces of the conversations in Trigedasleng. I do not claim to be an expert in the language and used all I could find on the internet. I suspect not being English made some of my Trigedasleng not perfect either and I apologize in advance for that. The translations, on how I think they should be will always be at the bottom of the chapter.

Let me know what you think of it and please if there is anything you notice about my lacking grammar or spelling or anything else give me some feedback about it and I will do my best to improve it in the next chapter.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Teik daun

Clarke ran like her life depended on it. It probably did. Her lungs were burning and hurting more and more with every breath she took. Branches painfully slashed across her cheeks as she wormed herself between the trees and bushes ahead of her. She dared a quick peek over her shoulder hoping to spot a glimpse of her pursuers. Darkness was falling, it was pointless to look but it had been more out of panic and instinct that she did. There might be no one to see but Clarke knew they would still be close. Their footsteps were sound and clear.

Not at first. At first, when she had been oblivious of their presence the footsteps had been stealthy. Clarke knelt down at a stream at that moment to clean her face and drink after another long and tiresome day.

Their mistake had been to think she hadn't heard them coming. That the two, or maybe three months she had spent in the wilderness hadn't taught her anything. But it had. During her visits to the trading post Niylah had taught her not only Trigedasleng but also how to hunt. The hunting skills had come in handy when one of her pursuers had stepped on a branch just enough for Clarke to hear it and escape their initial assault.

Clarke didn't know for how long she had been running but it must have been a long time. The lack of oxygen in her lungs was becoming more apparent. Breathing was difficult and she felt her knees buckle more and more with each step she took. She tried to listen to the footsteps, how many had been following her? Two? Maybe three? She wasn't sure.

A cry more from surprise than pain escaped her lips when the tiredness in her legs had taken its toll and Clarke tripped. Hands scraping through the dirt and rocks below her to catch her fall with the only thought on her mind to get back up and continue running. And so she did. Claws dug into the mud below her to try and scramble back up to her feet. But then a booted foot connected painfully with her ribs. The low amount of air she had left in her lungs was now completely gone as the force rolled her over a few times until she felt her body collide with a tree.

Clarke gasped to let air find its way back into her lungs. Her blue eyes opened for a second only to see a fist coming at her. Pain exploded above her right eye. Her head snapped back and before she had time to register the brutal assault another punch followed. This time at her jaw. Clarke was fairly sure she heard herself whimper at the pain it caused but she barely had time to register it. A hand grabbed a fistful of her hair to yank up her head forcing the blonde to look the attacker in the eyes. Through her blurred vision Clarke saw a woman. Scars rested on the woman's cheek and forehead. Ice Nation.

"Wanheda ron we em gonplei, bushhada."

Strong hands wrapped around the fabric of her coat. Clarke was pulled up only to be tossed forward with enough force that made it impossible for Clarke to catch her fall. Her hands could not carry the weight of her body and her face scraped across the ground. Clarke heard more footsteps nearing. There were at least three of them, though Clarke couldn't be entirely sure. Her lungs burned and her ribs hurt. It was difficult not to let panic take control. It didn't really matter how many of them there were exactly. They are trained soldiers. Clarke isn't and she didn't even have a weapon on her. She wouldn't stand a chance.

Wait, my knife!

Pretending to be more beaten then she actually was, Clarke remained motionless on the ground. Her breathing was still heavy, which wasn't surprising after all the running she had to endure. It was dark so Clarke prayed they didn't see her hand sliding across her leg to where she knew the knife was hidden.

The Ice Nation warriors were laughing at her and one of them delivered a painful kick at her thigh. Clarke grinded her teeth together, biting the pain away just as her hand grasped the hilt of her knife. The woman who had started the assault on Clarke's body leaned over her again. She seemed to have it in for her hair. Fingers once again clawed through the blonde locks and without mercy Clarke was hauled up on her knees. A painful grunt erupted from her throat, unable to hide the pain the woman had caused her.

"Yu ste Kwelen." The woman said fiercely. "You are not worthy of the title Wanheda."

And then the woman stepped in front of her. This was the moment Clarke had been so eagerly anticipating. The second time that these Ice Nation soldiers had underestimated her. Clarke lunged at the woman and before she had time to register what Clarke did to her the knife plunged into the woman's heart. The blonde watched how the woman clutched at the knife and then her body slipped sideways. The woman was dead by the time she hit the ground.

It felt as if time froze right now. The remaining Ice Nation soldiers were shocked by what happened. They stood shocked, frozen in time while they processed what just happened.

"Am I worthy of the title now?" she said sarcastic.

Provoking them probably wasn't the best idea. Especially since she had left the only weapon in her possession inside the dead woman. Clarke didn't care. If she was going to die she might as well do so fighting.

These thoughts hadn't even crossed her mind yet when a fist collided with her jaw. Her lip split and blood splattered through the air from the brutal assault. Two men stepped in front of her and a third man yanked her head back, moving his head close to her ear. She was beginning to get tired of people grabbing her hair.

"Yu laik lottau kik raun, skaigada."

The man had barely spoken the words when Clarke saw the hilt of a sword flying towards her. At least I'm not going to die, yet. She thought before everything went dark.

When her eyes opened again Clarke immediately wished she hadn't and closed them as quickly as they opened. An agonizing pain in her head ran from between her eyes all the way to the back of her skull. The beating of her heart pounded through her head with every heartbeat. With slow breaths she took a second attempt to open her eyes. Black spots were still dancing in front of her but at least the pain in her head was subsiding.

From instinct Clarke tried to lessen the pain by rubbing a thumb and index finger between her eyes but found her arms locked together above her head. As her vision evened out the blonde looked up to see she was tied up to a tree with her hands above her head. The next obstacle she registered was the gag inside her mouth. Clarke risked a few strong pulls at her restraints. It was no use they were too tight and a muffled grunt of frustration tore out of her gagged mouth.

"Yu laik stomba."

Clarke's head shot up to the direction the voice came from. Another woman? She thought to herself, clearly remembering to have only seen one woman among the Ice Nation warriors that had captured her. Clarke was also quite positive that same woman was lying dead somewhere with her knife plunged in her heart. But then something caught her attention. It was dawn, the sun had only just started to rise. A campfire rested in the middle of the camp. The woman stood behind it. At the woman's feet was a body sprawled on the ground, blood still pouring from under it.

Clarke felt her eyes widen in surprise, realizing the body was one of the Ice Nation soldiers that had captured her. Her eyes continued scanning the area and soon she found the second soldier. The man was leaning against the tree behind him. It looked like he was just resting were it not for his eyes to be open in horror and his slashed throat that lead a large trail of blood down his body. The man had probably been resting against the tree and never noticed the brutal attack coming.

The last man was spotted as well. He wasn't that far away from her, only one or two meters. He was lying flat on his stomach with a knife embedded in his back. Nerves were clawing through her stomach when she realized this woman had taken out these three men all on her own. Their skill clearly paled in comparison to hers. She hated to admit it, but the woman scared her. Clarke was definitely scared. Especially when her blue eyes locked on the same colored eyes of the woman. The satisfaction of her kills was still lingering in them and no matter how hard she tried, Clarke couldn't look away.

The woman noticed the fear that crept into Clarke's eyes. She immediately shook her head. "Ai laik Kensi kom Trikru." She said to Clarke. "I did not come here to kill you."

Trikru, one of Lexa's people. Clarke wanted to believe her, she really did. But the fact that she was still tied to a tree and gagged made her believe otherwise. The woman had not made any indication yet that she was going to release Clarke. As if on cue, she stepped over the dead body at her feet and advanced towards the other dead body ahead of her. Clarke took this moment to study the woman.

She stood tall, quite statuesque. A tight fitting black leather coat that reached down to her waistline gave a subtle sense of a slightly muscled physique underneath. Pieces of scrap metal were intricately sewn through the fabric of the coat. A hint of a once white colored shirt showed just from under the coat. Her legs were dressed in a pair of slim fit dark green pants; they showed off several cuts and holes indicating they were very well worn. On her feet, a pair of sand colored boots partially covered with dried mud. A bow and arrow filled quiver rested on her back. She looked young, yet older than Clarke but not by a lot. The woman held beauty but despite all that she looked very, very intimidating. Much like Lexa when they had first met.

Clarke swallowed deeply when the woman yanked the knife out of the dead man's back and moved towards her. Clarke was ready to pray to whichever God was listening that the woman hadn't lied and wasn't about to use that knife to slid her throat.

A wave of relief ran down her body when she first removed the gag and then cut the ropes. Her hands moved down to Clarke's hips to help the blonde in a more comfortable position against the tree. "Thank you." Clarke muttered while she rubbed her sore wrists.

The woman answered with merely a nod. She reached behind her back and pulled a damp cloth from the quiver. A strange scent that Clarke didn't recognize whizzed through her nostrils.

"Wada yu klin." The woman said, tapping the cloth above her own eyebrow to indicate what she meant before tossing it towards Clarke.

Clarke had felt the burning pain at her eyebrow and knew there was a gash just above it. She was also fairly sure her jaw was bruised but the injury paining her the most were her ribs. Clarke flinched as soon as she placed the cloth at her eyebrow but ignored the pain as much as she could while her other hand assessed the sore ribs to examine if they were broken.

Bruised, just bruised. She happily told herself.

"The Commander sent me to find you. You were not easy to find, Skai Prisa."

The woman went to sit down next to the campfire, crossing her legs.

"That was the point." Clarke bit back.

The woman shrugged. "Ice Nation found you, I found you. Had I not shown up you'd be in the hands of the Ice Queen in less than a day. Dead a day later, maybe two."

Clarke just shrugged at her words. "What does Lexa care anyway. She abandoned me at Mount Weather."

Her mind flashed back to that day at the mountain. Words could not describe how angry she was at Lexa. They had become close. They had kissed and just like that Lexa had chosen her people over the alliance they had made to defeat the Mountain Men. Thinking back to that night once again made her stomach turn. Because of Lexa Clarke had committed genocide. An entire Nation wiped from the earth just by pulling one lever. Because of Lexa Clarke saw the faces of the people she murdered every time she closed her eyes. Because of Lexa Clarke barely sleeps at night to avoid being haunted by nightmares.

But in time Clarke's anger had begun to boil down. The anger was slowly replaced by understanding. Lexa's people had suffered from the mountain men long before Clarke and her people had landed on earth. Taking the deal was the only option for Lexa to avoid further bloodshed of her people. Lexa had done what was best for her people. She is their leader and she had to put them first. Putting Clarke first would make her a terrible leader.

Clarke knew that Lexa had no other choice no matter how much Clarke hated or still hates her for doing this. She not only understood but had also experienced first-hand just how difficult it is to make the decisions to save your people. The dropship, TonDC and worst of all Mount Weather were proof of the horrible reality Clarke was living in now.

They weighed heavy on her shoulders. It was why she had decided not to go back to Arkadia. Seeing the faces of her people would remind her too much of what she had done to save them. Clarke hoped that by being alone she could learn to live with what she had done. That maybe the nightmares would stop haunting her at night. They hadn't, not even the night where Clarke had thrown herself at the mercy of the trader girl, Nyilah. Clarke shook her head, feeling slightly guilty for using the girl like that. Another victim of her haunted mind.

But Clarke knew herself well enough that hadn't been the sole reason why she had slept with Nyilah that night. While Clarke had told herself she had slowly started to forgive Lexa for leaving her at the mountain. Something she could not quite forgive Lexa for was the kiss. Clarke could still feel it on her lips whenever she thought back to that moment. The kiss had been soft and passionate and Clarke had fallen right into it. And not only did she hate Lexa for kissing her but she also hated herself for allowing it.

"You are angry with Heda."

The woman's statement brought Clarke's mind back to the land of the living. Her blue eyes searched for the woman's before she spoke up.

"Kensi, is it?" The woman nodded and Clarke continued "Yes, Kensi, I was angry with Lexa. I-"

"Heda." Kensi corrected her.

Clarke rolled her eyes but decided to respect what Kensi demanded of her "As I was saying. Yes I was angry with Heda. But not anymore. She had to do what was best for her people, I see it now."

There was no point in adding she was still angry but not about that. The kiss was private and surely not up for debate with this woman.

"Yes she did and you still destroyed the mountain, Wanheda."

Clarke frowned at that word. The Commander of Death. She hated that title. It was given to her over the death of innocents only to protect her own people. The title had been given to her so easily by the grounders and yet Clarke could not get used to it. Not even after months of running. Her mind would not give her peace. No matter what Clarke had tried or done her mind remained haunted.

"There really is no need to remind me." Clarke said softly, lowering her head.

Kensi stood to her feet, walking closer towards Clarke until she towered over her. "You should be proud of what you accomplished, Skaiprisa."

Clarke shrugged, eyes still directed to the ground. "Proud of killing innocent men, woman and children?" she said, finally looking up to meet Kensi's stare.

All Kensi did was smile when she spoke up. "Their deaths are what accomplished the safety of both our your people, that is what you should be proud of." She said and outstretched her hand to Clarke. "Now come, Heda has requested your presence. Much has happened since you left your people."

Clarke narrowed her eyebrows at Kensi's words. "What do you mean?" she asked. Her voice almost sounding demanding.

"Heda will tell you. Now come, we have to leave now so we can reach Heda's camp before nightfall."

She wiggled the fingers of her still outstretched hand, ordering Clarke to take it. Clarke did so without even giving it a second thought. Kensi hauled her back to her feet, flinching slightly at the pain it caused her ribs.

Once she found her balance and stood firmly on her sore feet Kensi let go of her hand and immediately headed back into the forest. "Keep up, Skai Prisa." She yelled at Clarke.

But Clarke just stood there, frozen on the spot. Her mind was racing right now. The last thing on her mind was going to Lexa. But that was soon going to change. The blonde didn't know why she had agreed to go with Kensi. Maybe the mention of the changes that had happened while Clarke had been in the woods. Or maybe she really did just want to see Lexa again. She still wasn't ready to face her people but Clarke also was certain she was done hiding in the forest. And if Ice Nation is looking for her perhaps the safest place to be right now was at Lexa's side.

"Prisa!"

Clarke shook her head to clear her thoughts. Kensi had already disappeared into the forest. She quickly gathered her bearings and killed the fire that was still burning. Once the campfire was out she hurried off into the woods knowing that she soon would be face to face again with the woman who broke her heart.

They had been traveling for the entire day. Clarke was certain she could collapse anytime now. Sure, her time in the forest had made her stronger. Her stamina had increased despite the lack of sleep but the hell Kensi is putting her through right now is nothing compared to what Clarke had done during her months in the forest.

She was completely out of breath, her feet must have been covered In blisters, her ribs continued to torment her but Kensi didn't seem to notice. Or maybe she did and she just didn't care. Because Clarke didn't want to appear weak she wasn't going to ask the grounder woman to stop walking. Though Clarke was fairly sure even if she did, Kensi wouldn't stop anyway.

To distract herself Clarke pushed her thoughts towards Lexa and started wondering what it would be like to see her again. Would Lexa apologize to Clarke for what she had done? Does she even feel remorse for leaving Clarke? The Commander probably didn't, but Lexa did. Clarke knew she was one of the few people who had seen the exposed side of Lexa. Lexa had shown Clarke a side of her that made them both feel like normal teenage girls, if just for a moment. Where they were just two normal girls kissing and battling with their feelings. Clarke was the one who had stopped that moment, regretting it at first but now after what happened she was glad she had.

She snapped herself out of her thoughts when a waterfall became visible in the distance. Clarke recognized it immediately. The artist in her remembered the pattern of the water and the rocks and the beautiful landscape around it. The first time she'd seen it she memorized it for when she had a sketchbook to draw the beauty of what mother nature had to offer. But what worried her was that this waterfall was not on the road to Polis. And now Clarke realized they have been walking more north then east. Why wasn't Kensi taking her to Polis? Lexa should be there by now, shouldn't she?

"We're not going to Polis?" Clarke asked and miraculously found the willpower to increase her pace to reach Kensi's side.

Kensi answered by shaking her head but she kept walking on the high unforgivable pace.

"Where are we going then?"

"We are almost there." Kensi gave another short reply.

Once more Clarke found herself confused. She knew this area. They were still quite far from civilization. There was no village anywhere near. TonDC was still two day's travel away. Clarke couldn't help but feel a bit worried now. She wanted to grab Kensi's arm and stop her. Not only because Clarke was completely out of breath. But also because she wanted to know what was going on and she started to wonder if Kensi was actually taking her to Lexa.

However, a voice calling out Kensi's name stopped Clarke in her tracks. Kensi too stopped walking to face the owner of the voice. Clarke was grateful for that and took the opportunity to catch her breath. She placed her hands on her knees and looked to see where the voice was coming from. From the trees to their left a woman emerged. Clarke recognized her instantly.

"Indra! Ha em Heda?" Kensi asked.

Indra smiled. "Em fis op os." The smile on Indra's face faded when her eyes landed on Clarke for a few seconds. "I see you found the sky girl."

Clarke frowned. They were talking about Lexa. But the way they did made Clarke worry a bit. She is healing well, is she sick? Injured? Clarke really wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"What's wrong with her?" she asked Kensi.

Before Clarke had time to realize what happened two strong hands firmly locked themselves at the collar of Clarke's coat and the blonde was pushed backwards until her back painfully collided with a tree. Clarke flinched and found herself slightly nervous to see the hands belonged to Indra and their faces were only a few inches apart.

Indra had always been weary of Clarke. From the first time they had met all the way to the final battle at the mountain. She had been more than willing to show Clarke the pointy edge of her blade. Not only during their first meeting in Lexa's tent but also after the feast when Raven had been tied to a tree and Clarke interrupted the punishment of the falsely accused girl. And Clarke was sure there had been other occasions too that she didn't even know about. And in all those occasions it had been Lexa that stopped her and Indra had no choice but to obey.

But now Lexa wasn't here and Indra finally got to do what she wanted to do so many times and there was nothing that Lexa could do about it now. Clarke was on her own this time and had to face the skilled and dangerous warrior all by herself.

"You pretend to care about Heda, after you believe she betrayed you?" she said, pushing Clarke further against the tree.

Maybe I do… she thought but made sure not to show what she was thinking to Indra.

"I care about my people and what might happen if Le-" she stopped and shortly glanced at Kensi "Heda, is dead." She quickly corrected herself.

Indra didn't let go of her powerful hold over Clarke. The blonde swallowed deeply as she felt her nerves creating a lump in her throat. A silence fell and Clarke gathered her strength to speak up again, deciding not to let the fierce warrior scare her. But surprisingly Kensi came to her aid and placed a reassuring hand on the warrior's shoulder.

"I know she speaks true, Indra. I talked about this with her already."

Indra didn't release the grip on Clarke's coat but turned her head to face Kensi. "And you just trust her, after everything that happened at the mountain?"

Kensi nodded. "I do, Indra. I will take full responsibility for her actions. But do not sell Heda short. Despite her injuries Heda is more than capable to defend herself against the Skai Prisa."

Indra growled as she realized her mistake and almost looked happy that the Commander wasn't here or she probably would have gotten an earful for not trusting her Commander's abilities. She turned her attention back to Clarke and spoke up as their eyes locked.

"You have been warned, Skai Prisa." She said and then released the grip she held on Clarke's coat.

Clarke didn't even realize she had been holding her breath until Indra let go of her. The woman still terrified her and Clarke hated the fact that she had so easily shown her fear for Indra to see.

Without saying another word Indra headed back to the tree line. Ready to disappear into the woods. Kensi followed her immediately. Clarke just stood frozen on the spot. She thought back of the short interaction between Indra and Kensi. It made her wonder what exactly Kensi's rank was in Lexa's army. Clarke knew that Indra was one of Lexa's generals. Indra had authority over a lot of Trikru warriors. Clarke had been around grounders plenty of times to know that showing a higher ranking officer disrespect was almost as bad as doing that towards the Commander. Kensi definitely was not a random warrior in Lexa's army. She held the same authority as Indra otherwise she wouldn't have been able to talk Indra down as easily as she did.

"Prisa!"

Kensi's voice interrupted her thoughts and Clarke looked up just in time to see her disappear into the woods. Quickly as she could Clarke chased after her. Kensi once more held a high pace and Clarke softly cursed at her for doing this. She made a mental note to herself to work on her stamina, it clearly hadn't been good enough yet. If only the nightmares would stop haunting her.

It was not even close to nightfall yet but after what seemed forever and once more out of breath Clarke found herself staring at a clearing. A small lake rested at the back of the clearing. Not far from the lake was a cave entrance. Smoke from a campfire emerged from the entrance and was guided up in the air by a slight breeze. Two Trikru guards stood outside the entrance of the cave.

Closer to where Clarke was standing, on her left were a few horses. A young boy around the age of twelve was looking after them, brushing the manes of the only white horse that was standing there. To Clarke's right another campfire had settled. Four warriors were sitting around it. One of them focused on sharpening her blade, while the other three held their gaze at Clarke. She might have imagined it, but she could have sworn they bowed their heads towards Clarke.

Not far from these warriors a man was tied to a pole. His face looked bloodied. It was obvious he'd been beaten. His armor had been removed, he only still had his pants on. His bare chest held several cuts that were still oozing blood. Bruises on his chest showed his ribs were either broken or severely damaged . Either way this man was in bad shape and no one seemed to care about it. Clarke wondered what he could have done to deserve such a fate.

"Wait here." Kensi told her and Clarke nodded as she watched Kensi walking to the cave. Indra remained at her side and Clarke thought this to be the perfect moment to ask her what the hell was going on.

"Indra can you please tell me what's going on?" she almost pleaded.

Indra looked at her with a typical sullen expression but seemed willing enough to answer.

"An attempt was made on Heda's life." She explained.

Clarke felt her eyes widen at this. Worry immediately took control of her body. Instinct told her to go over to the cave, which she figured out Lexa would be in, and check how serious her injuries were. But Clarke knew that the moment she put one foot forward while Kensi told her to wait, Indra would be more than happy to stop her in a more forceful way than when she had Clarke pinned to a tree a few moments ago.

Clarke didn't know why she worried so much. One part of her told her she shouldn't care for Lexa that much anymore. She fell for it once and it had hurt her, Clarke should not make that mistake again. She cursed herself for reacting the way she had. It must have been clearly visible on her face to see for Indra. Too late to hide it now.

"What happened?" she asked instead, turning her head to the man tied to the pole. He must have somehow been involved in Lexa being hurt.

"Heda will tell you, if she wishes to." Indra replied.

Clarke took a deep breath. She was moments away from seeing Lexa again. Nerves were creeping into her stomach. Was she really ready for this? Had she really forgiven Lexa for what she had done? No, no she had not. Not forgiven at least. Clarke had understood it. But forgiving Lexa for the kiss and then abandoning her? Clarke wasn't sure, but she was going to find out if she was ready soon because she spotted Kensi exiting the caving and motioning for Clarke to come to her.

This was really happening. She was going to see Lexa again. Suddenly Clarke started to feel sick and she got the urge to throw up. But Clarke knew she couldn't show weakness now. Not with a camp full of grounders and especially not with Indra around. She would never let Clarke hear the end of it. So yes, she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and walked over to Kensi.

"Heda will see you." Kensi said to her.

Clarke nodded and decided not to waste any more time before she started to change her mind.

As she slowly strode inside the cave she just about heard Kensi order the guards to leave before she locked out surrounding sounds and focused on the woman she saw standing at the campfire inside the cave. The pile of furs to her left and the red stained bandages and bowels of water to her right only received a short glance from the blonde.

The Commander was half naked. Her upper body only held her bindings. The state of Lexa's body showed why exactly she wasn't wearing anymore clothing. Clarke saw bandages on her left shoulder and around her waist. Part of a dark bruise showed from under the bandage around her waist and just above the bruise there was a long but not a very deep cut on her stomach. Apart from the injuries on her body, Lexa also had a cut that went down from her right eye to her ear and a cut at her jaw. Indra hadn't been lying when she said someone had tried to kill the Commander.

Lexa, standing resolute, didn't at all seem to be bothered by her injuries. She showed no emotions. No pain towards her injuries and no relief to see Clarke again, if she even was relieved. There were times where Clarke could see through the Commander's façade, but right now Lexa wouldn't let her. The woman standing in front of her definitely was the Commander and not Lexa.

"Klark." Was all she said when she greeted the blonde with a nod. Clarke shivered slightly at the way Lexa pronounced her name.

"Lexa." she replied and shrugged as she spoke up again. "They really did a number on you, didn't they?"

Lexa looked at her for a second with a frown. Clarke figured it was because she probably didn't know the saying Clarke just used but it didn't take her long to realize what she had actually meant.

"I see the Ice Nation soldiers that had captured you haven't been too kind to you either."

Clarke moved two fingers over the wound above her eyebrow and shrugged. "They fared worse."

"Only because Kensi showed up in time to save you."

Just as Clarke feared it didn't take long for frustration and anger to boil up inside her. Clarke had told herself she had understood what Lexa had done at Mount Weather. And she really did. But she hadn't thought it was going to be this difficult to face her again. To face the woman who had opened up her feelings towards her and then stabbed her in the back.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She thought she had calmed down but as soon as her eyes opened and landed on Lexa, the anger started to rise again.

"I would have been fine. I don't need her help, or yours."

Her frustration seemed to finally be piercing through Lexa's mask. The Commander shook her head in disbelief and took a few paces towards Clarke. The pitch in her voice was a bit higher, but it still sounded calm and in control.

"Clarke your head would have been on a pike somewhere in Azgeda by now had Kensi not shown up."

Clarke scoffed at her. "Oh so now you suddenly care about me?"

"I've always cared about you, Clarke." Lexa said through her grinding teeth.

"Then why did you leave me at Mount Weather."

Now it was Lexa's turn to shrug at Clarke. "Clarke I know you are no fool. You are very much aware of what I did. Had Emerson approached you, you would have done the same thing. I am Heda, Clarke. I cannot afford to be selfish and ignore my people. Despite the consequences that my choice to take the deal have resulted in, I would blindly do it again. I saved hundreds of my people, instead of possibly losing that amount in a war."

Clarke wanted to yell back at Lexa. The fact that she would do it again hurt her. But the only thing that her mind focused on was the part where she mentioned the consequences of her choice to take the deal. Instead of yelling at Lexa she found herself asking the Commander about those consequences she mentioned.

"What do you mean with consequences. Is that why you have been hurt?"

Lexa had readied herself for another burst of anger from Clarke. She had already straightened her shoulders and recovered the Commander's mask to hide her emotions. So when Clarke avoided further argument and asked about Lexa's injuries, she was slightly surprised. She swallowed deeply and curled her lips together for a moment. Then she folded her arms in front of her and locked her emerald green eyes on Clarke.

"Yes." She stated. "You were not the only one disappointed by my decision to avoid war, Clarke."

When Clarke looked at her with a pair of confused blue eyes she explained what exactly had happened.

"Queen Nia has made her move and taken control of Polis. She tried to lay claim to my throne but not all of the clans will follow her. The Kongeda is divided now. War is upon us. But the queen's poisoned words have even reached my ranks. I was misled and then ambushed four days ago."

Clarke felt her eyes widen. "You have been here for four days?"

A nod was all Clarke received in response. If Lexa was away for four days from her people, a divided coalition or not, that is a very bad thing. And in an instant Clarke started to worry about her people. Lexa no longer in charge of the twelve clans was a bad thing. If Nia were to gain control this no doubt would be a bad thing for the people at Arkadia. Especially since their camp was between Ice Nation and Trikru territory.

Lexa must have noticed the worry that crept up on Clarke's face. "Your people have been informed, Clarke. Indra has spoken to Kane."

Clarke nodded. "So now what? You are going to stay here? The people here are the only ones still loyal to you?"

"No." Lexa said. "I am just here to recover. A lot of plans have already been set in motion since the ambush. The game of politics is a dangerous one Clarke, if not done correctly I could end up dead."

"You almost already did." Clarke said.

"But I didn't, and the person responsible will pay for his mistake soon enough."

Clarke glanced over her shoulder towards the man outside chained up against the pole. Lexa immediately noticed this and explained further.

"That is Fio. He is Trikru and betrayed me by giving false information and leading me into the ambush. He is the one responsible for most of my injuries after a poisoned arrow pierced my shoulder."

It was good she mentioned the poisoned arrow. Clarke was about to wonder how a normal Trikru soldier had managed to get the best of her. But the fight had never been fair with the poison in Lexa's body.

Looking once more at Lexa's injuries it was amazing how well she had recovered in just four days. She must have been in really bad shape. And if she was in pain now, she wasn't showing it. But Clarke reminded herself there was nothing new about that.

"Why did you agree to come with Kensi, Clarke?" Lexa asked her, changing the subject.

Of all the things they could talk about, this wasn't what she wanted to do. But Clarke knew she couldn't avoid this question and couldn't blame Lexa for asking. Apart from the start of their conversation, Clarke had been calm and understanding not at all showing hatred towards Lexa. As Clarke had told Kensi, she was past that. And while facing Lexa for the first time had been hard at the start, Clarke had started to feel more comfortable during their conversation. She walked to the campfire, noticing she was starting to feel bit cold, and sat down beside it crossing her legs.

Lexa frowned for a moment and then mirrored her actions by sitting down on the other side of the fire. Clarke saw a quick wince of pain that crossed her face. Sitting down must have hurt her. She quickly looked away when Lexa searched for her eyes and instead of facing Lexa she settled them on the campfire ahead of her.

"I-I can't go back to my people. I am not ready to face them yet. But I am tired of running."

Lexa offered her a raised eyebrow. "So you go to the woman who you feel betrayed you?"

Clarke shook her head. "I've had time to think. I understand Lexa, I really do. Your people come first, I would have done the same thing. I'm not angry anymore and I sure as hell don't want revenge. I am just struggling with-" Clarke paused not sure she should continue. But when she looked up from the fire and blue met a pair of almost begging green eyes the words just left her mouth. "I killed an entire population of people, Lexa. Innocent children, people who had helped us inside the mountain. Jasper's girlfriend…every time I close my eyes I see their faces, I hear their voices. I thought running away would give me peace."

"You hoped running away would give you peace. I know you well enough Clarke, you never believed that would work." Lexa said.

Lexa's words were a bit harsh. But Clarke couldn't deny they were very true. Deep down Clarke had always known that running away wouldn't give her peace. But at that moment it was the only option she could take. Not even Bellamy could stop her. And while there had been positive sides of her time alone in the woods, she had learned to speak Trigedasleng and hunt, it hadn't helped at all with her battle against the demons that haunted her dreams and kept her awake.

"Heda! He's back, Timor has returned with news from the trading post."

Kensi's shouting voice interrupted the awkward silence that was slowly building between the two women.

"Wait outside, Kensi, I will be there soon." She said and slowly stood to her feet, extending her hand towards Clarke. "Come Clarke, we are nearing the next step in my plan of retaliation."

Clarke took her hand without hesitation. While standing up she suddenly noticed the bloodied and scraped knuckles on Lexa's hand. Glancing down to her other hand Clarke noticed the same. It was obvious to Clarke what exactly happened to get her hands injured like that.

And Lexa for some reason always seems to know the blonde's thoughts. "Fio is a weak man, it didn't take a lot of effort to get him to talk." she stated.

Clarke didn't say anything, she didn't want to judge or intrude on their somewhat harsh culture. She briefly thought back of the day where they had Lincoln tied up and tortured in the dropship. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Clarke was just glad she had not seen that side of Lexa…yet.

Lexa reached for her Commander coat and started buttoning it up while she walked outside not bothering to put on a shirt. Clarke followed after her until they reached Kensi's side. Kensi stood with the horses together with a young boy. He was dressed in full grounder armor but Clarke didn't spot a tattoo on him. She guessed he couldn't have been older then fifteen.

"Heda." The boy said as he lowered his head and bowed to Lexa.

"Hola au." Lexa ordered him.

He looked hesitantly at Clarke for a moment. Obviously she was a stranger to him and he wasn't sure in a time like this it was wise to report important information like this with a stranger around.

"Disha ste Wanheda." Lexa said. "She can be trusted, speak true Timor."

He nodded and his eyes lit up at the mention of Clarke's title. "Heda, the army you requested has arrived at the trading post. The scout Kensi sent back to Selin village has also returned, they believe you are dead. Several Ice Nation soldiers have been spotted there as well."

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and nodded at Timor. "You have done well, Timor. We will wait for nightfall and head for the trading post. Go back and inform them we will be there tonight."

"At once, Heda." He bowed his head once again and then turned to Clarke to repeat the same action towards her. "Wanheda." He said and then quickly jumped back on the horse he arrived on to rush it out of the camp.

Lexa looked at Clarke. She was staring at Timor riding away. It was obvious she was uneased by the way Timor had shown respect to her. Lexa slightly peaked one of the corners of her mouth and explained to relieve Clarke from her suffering.

"The stories were told quickly, Klark. Wanheda, legendary mountain slayer. You have freed our people from an ancient enemy that has haunted us for as long as we can remember. They respect you."

Clarke shook her head. "I wish they didn't." she said.

Lexa stepped towards her. Her eyes were calm as she spoke to Clarke. "You should focus on what you achieved with your actions Clarke. Not on the actual deed itself. Because of your actions, Skaikru now lives, your friends live. Your mother lives. As leaders we make these choices. They are difficult if not impossible to bare but to see your people alive and happy is worth more than the sacrifice that you took to save them.

"My soul is far from intact, Clarke. To ensure the safety of my people I had to darken my hands in the blood of hundreds if not thousands of innocent people. I did what I had to do to ensure my people's safety. To build the Kongeda. To see it shattered now has cut a hole so deeply in my heart I'm not sure I can fix. But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to restore the Kongeda and live in a world without war. I will do what I must to be able to return to Polis and see the happiness return on the faces of my people. Their happiness is worth any sacrifice."

The words hit her hard. Lexa was right. She was glad that her mother and friends were still alive. But having to do what she did to save them. Clarke wasn't sure it was easy to forget. But hearing Lexa's words, it was the first in a long time she felt somewhat different, more relieved.

But while Lexa could face her people after the horrible things she had done to protect them, Clarke knew she wasn't ready for that yet. She knew that her mother or Raven could not have talked with her about it like this. Raven had barely understood what Clarke had done to Finn. And her mother? Well she hadn't realized yet that Clarke is a grown woman now. She's an adult and as long as her mother can't accept that any type of conversation was going to be impossible with her.

Somehow Lexa was the only right person to talk with about this. Lexa was around her age. Lexa had no doubt been in similar or maybe even worse situations. Clarke knew now that she had made the right call. She was right where she was supposed to be. At Lexa's side.

Wanheda ron we em gonplei, bushhada - Wanheda runs from her fight, coward

Yu ste Kwelen - You are weak

Yu laik lottau kik raun, skaigada - You are lucky we need you alive, skygirl

Yu laik stomba - You are awake

Ai laik Kensi kom Trikru - I am Kensi from the Tree people.

Wada yu klin - Clean yourself

Ha em Heda - How is the Commander

Em fis op os - She is healing well

Hola au - Speak

Disha ste Wanheda - This is the Commander of Death

Name explanations:

Kensi chosen from Kensington

Timor chosen from Baltimore