So after over a year of not updating/posting any new stories on this site, I have decided to leap into the fandom of Naruto. (Actually, it was more like dragging, pushing, beating over the head, etc. by my girlfriend). So, since I'm new to this fandom, and thus, a new writer for y'all then I suppose I should tell y'all about how I work:

1) I write in the first person omniscient. I can't write in third person whatsoever, and I like to see multiple viewpoints. I've always written that way, so I'm sorry for those who find this to be strange. It's just the way I write.

2) I have an extremelydeep love for villains and anti-heroes. If you are also a Yu-Gi-Oh! fan, and have ever read my stories, then you would know my favourite character from the fandom is Bakura (hence my username). I have been known to make Bakura extremely lovable, but still in character. (I'm not sure how I do it, but *shrugs*) So with that being said, this story is going to focus around, my favourite Naruto character (and my ultimate favourite anime/manga character in general): Orochimaru. I love him so much! He is so amazing, sexy, and I don't even know. He's just one of those characters I can't help but love! (and he also seems to be one of those characters that people either hate or love...). I even have a snake (a normal ball python) who I named Orochi (yes, after Orochimaru and the myth he is based on). He is a special slither noodle (who almost shares the same birthday/hatch day as me! His birthday is July first and mine is the third! So cool! :D)

3) I am known for writing "weird" pairings. My favourite Yu-Gi-Oh! pairing is Casteshipping. So, this story is based around my favourite Naruto pairing: OroNaru (or NaruOro? I don't understand this pairing naming y'all have lol). Trying to find this pairing to get some sort of idea of how I should/could go into this fandom with such a pairing was diff-no, actually, it was fucking impossible! I thought Casteshipping was hard to find! (Though, apparently, I'm one of the people who brought it back). Anyway, so after deciding (in my own crazy weird world) that Orochimaru and Naruto belong together, then I decided to write a story about them.

4) I write ten chapters then update every two weeks. (Unless something drastic happens, life happens, etc.) Currently, (including this one) I only have eight chapters written (but my girlfriend insisted I post this so she could "die" lol) So 8-10 chappies, give or take. I try to get ahead of the update schedule so there won't be a huge gap where my fans are waiting for an update and I'm too busy, lazy, have writer's/motivational block, or life has eaten my soul. My update days are Saturdays (or Sundays depending). I also update for birthdays, special occasions, etc.

5) Not only am I new to writing Naruto, I'm new to the Naruto fandom in general. The first day I ever watched Naruto was February 29th, 2016, the day my grandfather passed away. I was in Halifax, NS with my girlfriend (we went to school together during the 2015-16 school year) and (after convincing her I wanted to try it out) I instantly fell in love. For years, Yu-Gi-Oh! was my all time favourite anime/manga. (it's gone to my second favourite. It'll always hold a special place in my heart. After all, I meant my girlfriend and so many friends from writing on the fandom). I only have the original Naruto manga currently, and I only watch the English dub (because I am a sucker for Steven Blum's Orochimaru). So, with that being said, there are some things that I haven't gotten to, (I know about some things like Naruto marrying Hinata and having Boruto and Himawari). and I apologize if this everything won't be exactly how it should be, but I will do my best to make this as canonically possible.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: OroNaru, cannon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter One: Kindle

Naruto

Peace.

At last, peace has filled the ninja world after so many centuries of pointless hatred. And I was the one to do it. Who would have thought I'd be the saviour of this world? Once, I was that child. Now, I'm that hero.

And it wasn't just ninja I rescued. It was the tailed beasts as well. I granted them their rightful freedom and respect, and in turn, other people gave them that same respect because they believed in me and knew I had everyone's best interest at heart.

It's amazing seeing the Five Great Nations at peace with each other. Now, instead of working against each other, we work together to ensure the safety of this world. After all, there are still threats like the occasional bandit or some idiot who thinks they're hot shit and can beat me or Sasuke.

Please!

Sasuke…

I rub the bandages of the arm I always have covered up. Sasuke and I… we had an extremely tense fight. Both of us losing one of our arms. Unlike me, Sasuke refused a replacement arm. I'm not sure exactly why, but I don't think I'll ever quite understand his thinking, but he is my best friend and I'm glad he finally accepted that.

The friendship Sasuke and I have isn't the only thing Sasuke has accepted. He and Sakura are finally married. Sasuke was originally going to leave on his own, but Sakura, even being three months pregnant, decided to travel the world with him. I'm happy for him, yet…

I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

Why?

Is it because I want that too? Of course. Anyone would want to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with. To be so happy. Sakura had pressed for me to speak to Hinata, but I just can't. I care about her, but I just don't love her that way.

But why? Surely there has to be a reason for this. Hinata has loved me from the very beginning. When everyone else hated me, she believed in me and loved me for who I was. So, shouldn't I love her in return? Maybe it just hasn't caught up with me. Maybe I'm not ready for a love like that…

Or… maybe it's this feeling I keep getting. It's not a danger, not a normal danger. It's something more… I'm not quite sure what to make of it, and I don't want to bring it up to Kakashi-sensei. After all, he needs to focus on real matters of the village, and not some 'feeling' I keep getting. Besides, I can take care of it.

I stand up, stretching. I walk outside, locking up my house. Every day, around this time, I go out to visit Pervy Sage. It's nice to tell him how my life is going and the peace in this world. I wonder if he can see it.

I stroll down the streets of Konoha, watching as people work together to rebuild the village. They smile, waving at me. Not long ago those same people would have yelled at me and demanded I get roasted by a Fireball Jutsu or worse. A tiny bit of anger boils within me.

'Forgiveness,' Kurama reminds me.

'Yes.'

It's what I strived so hard for. Forgiveness, is, after all, a key part in peace. So, instead of bashing their skulls in, I smile and wave back.

XXXX

I reach the area where Pervy Sage's memorial is. I start to walk over to it when I sense another presence. I quickly hide, waiting, kunai in hand. Who knows if it's someone to stir trouble. The person comes into my view. Even with his back turned towards me, I know for a fact that it's Orochimaru.

Orochimaru? What is he…? I watch as he kneels down, placing a bouquet of flowers down.

You really do care…

I knew there had to be something that drew Pervy Sage and Granny Tsunade to the man before me. And I think I understand right now, at least a bit, anyway.

Time passes with the breeze, and yet, he still doesn't move. Occasionally, he'll run a hand over the memorial stone. He grips it hard, body shaking.

I feel a pain rip at my heart, and I clutch my chest with a slight gasp. Why? This man has been the sole instigator of my pain, and yet… I can't help but feel bad for him. Maybe it's because I could be in the same situation? Yes, that must be it. I can't actually care about him. I mean, I don't hate him. Not like I used to.

After all, he did help in the war.

But is that all he's good for? Who is he? I want to know, but… will he let me? I doubt it, but I have to try! I owe it to my master. After all, the journey to peace isn't quite done, in fact, it's only just begun.

XXXX

Orochimaru

Help!

I hear it again and again. The voices screaming, begging me to help them. A new voice added into the mix.

Jiraiya…

What a fool you had been, Jiraiya. If you had only listened to me then you wouldn't be suffering right now. You could be immortal just like me.

Why did you choose death? Was it because you didn't want to harm another person by taking over their body? I could have found a way. Just like I'll find a way to save you and them. Sensei too, even though I was the one who pushed him to death.

I sigh, setting my tools down. I usually don't stop in the middle of an experiment, but I can't seem to concentrate these days. Something keeps telling me I need to be near Jiraiya. Perhaps his suffering is too great right now, and I need to be there for my friend?

"If you had changed sooner you could have saved him."

I clench my fists. He died the way he was. I never wanted him to change. I never saw anything wrong with Jiraiya. Sure, he was a complete idiot, yet he was the kind of idiot who you wanted to be around.

But he never understood you, the voice in my head reminds me.

Well, no. But when do toads ever understand snakes? I would have swallowed him whole and kept him safe if he only believed me. But, like everyone else, he never did.

I stare down at the man I'd been experimenting on. Some rogue ninja wandering around. Jugo snatched him up for me. I need all the test subjects I can possibly get. Kabuto helps from time to time, but running the orphanage takes much of his time. And, I'm losing interests in playing with these toys. Yet, it's a necessary play because I have to find a way to bring them back.

Because, after all, it's been my goal since I found the white snake skin.

Sure, my goal has always been to learn everything in this world and master every jutsu. Even to this day, I crave to be inside Sasuke's body. But, I know I am no match for him. He surpassed me in every way. I know there's no way I can catch up, yet I want to try. I have to try.

I turn, heading out of my lab. No one questions me as I leave the hideout. I don't move around constantly like I once did thanks to the Akatsuki being dead, but I always have watchful eyes and my senses on high alert. After all, there are many, many people who want me dead, and Naruto is one of them.

And I'm no match for him either…

I head to Jiraiya's memorial. To be near him, that's what everything within me is telling me to do. I usually ignore such nonsense because emotions only get in the way of the true goal, yet I can't suppress it. The need to be near him. The calling of him. I stop, staring at the field of flowers. I'm not any good at this, but I grab some flowers and then continue on my way.

XXXX

I finally reach the memorial. Many items have been placed since the last time I saw it. I walk over to it, kneeling before it and placing the flowers down. I stare at the memorial stone. I feel a wave of pain take over me. I grip the stone, tears falling.

Am I… crying? I haven't cried in years. Why should I cry over him, though? He's the one who didn't listen! They never listen! I could have saved them from this pointless suffering! Will there ever be anyone who will listen to me?!

"Stupid fool," I hiss, but my voice doesn't have the conviction that I want it to have. Instead, it's filled with hopelessness like a child losing her favourite teddy bear.

I'm so pathetic.

This isn't like me. Visiting my old friend's grave instead of actually doing something about his suffering. Yet, I have to be here. He's going through a tough time right now, and as his friend, I will stay as long as he needs me.

If anyone saw me here they'd probably think I was up to something. After all, no one ever believed I cared about Jiraiya. They believed I was just using him. It's far from the truth. Yes, we have had our differences. Yes, we have nearly killed each other on many, many occasions. Yes, I became his enemy because I turned rogue. But, I never stopped caring for him nor Tsunade. After all, they were my first friends. The first people, aside from my parents and Sarutobi-sensei, who accepted me. Or…

I thought so, at least…

They believed I was too ambitious. I have every right! I have to be determined to achieve these goals. No one else can do them. I was chosen. It's why I found the white snake skin. The truth was revealed. I tried to show them, but…

Well, one is living the rest of her life drinking and gambling with the other retired Kage, and the other… the other is suffering in eternity.

Well, not anymore! I settle in front of the memorial stone, curling up. I don't care if anyone wants to visit Jiraiya or not! They can visit him from a distance! He needs me right now! I won't let him down. Not after what he's done for me.

Sure, we had our difference, but I never had a doubt in my mind that he cared. I knew he'd been tracking me since day one. He knew I could handle myself, but he also knew of my pain. He's been one of the only two people who has seen me break down in a shattered mess. The other being, Sensei.

Tsunade has never seen me break down. We never were that close, yet we were close in a different way. She supported me in the way that could be tough love. Because even when she wanted to harm me the day we meant back up again, she still cared. After all, why would she have confessed how she felt to me when she knew I could have easily turned it around on her?

Sensei, he took me in after my parents died. It's how I met Jiraiya. He never hated me. Not until I got older and started experimenting. He never understood. Never asked why. Just simply what. I told him my goal. A small part of me had hoped he'd understood what I wanted, but he never did. Well, at least he was able to see I wasn't completely worthless. I did help in the war after all. But only for my own benefit. After all, how could I save them if this world was gone?

Tsunade and Sarutobi-sensei were my antidotes. They filled me with their love and care and erased all of the pain then struck me hard. How could they do that to me?! I understand Tsunade. After all, losing her brother and lover like that was beyond painful for her. But, if she'd only come to me then she wouldn't have had to suffer.

Of course, I had offered, but she refused. She won't when I truly bring them back.

And Jiraiya, Jiraiya was the mongoose. He'd always been my mongoose. Pulling me back to reality to have fun and actually live instead of living in the library and lab. He made me feel alive. Made me feel important. He never let anyone mess with me. He was always there to protect me, and I, the same for him.

Yet, the fool left me too! He didn't need to train those brats! In fact, if he didn't he wouldn't be dead! Stupid, stupid fool!

I grip the stone harder, body shaking. Tears splattering against the book… Jiraiya's first book. I stare down at the cover. He had been so excited to have finished it. No one cared much about it, now it's one of the most famous books in the world.

Funny when you're dead how people start listening.

But, his life wasn't a game. He gave up everything for those fools. He's suffering, begging for my help.

Well, I'm here, Jiraiya. I'll always be here. After all, isn't this the game we always play? The toad and mongoose of my life. Whatever I needed, whatever you needed to be for this world. You were that. The toad for the rest, the mongoose for me. My friend. The person I could tell anything to at one time. The one who always supported me, and played the game with me. I thought he'd win for sure.

Yet, in this game, the snake struck first.

Well, there's the first chappie. Everything will be explained in due course. I know Orochimaru is extremely out there. There is a reason for it (and everything else that happens in this story.

Preview for next chapter:

Naruto:

"I'm not moving."

"Why not? You do realize you can visit him at any time, right? Don't you have those… experiments…" I say, shivering slightly because I absolutely hate that he does them, "to do?"

"They can wait. I am not here for a mere visit, child."

"Huh?"

"I'm supporting Jiraiya."

"With?"

"Dealing with his suffering."

"Umm… Jiraiya is dead."

"Your perception is very keen. I'm glad I have you to point such observation to me."

I frown. "No need to get sarcastic."

Next update date: March 11th

I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time :).