My dearest, Readers

I hate Mufasa he always gets what he wants someday, he will get what he deserves. Oh how I wish he would turn into a festering bucket of moldy pie. Hmmmmm pie, I like pie, all kinds; apple, cherry, blackberry, 3.14...pie is good. Not moldy pie. That's bad. Really bad. The worst, really. I mean, who would even want to eat moldy pie anyway? The only person who I know who would enjoy moldy pie would be Draco Malfoy. Mostly because he deserves it, but who knows? He might like it. He lives in Slytherin, and it's all dark and damp down there. Everything gets moldy super fast at Hogwarts. Mufasa would definitely be in Slytherin, the slimy bastard.

There is a rock in my shoe, and bird on my head. One day they had a disagreement and I ended up with a boulder on my belly. I have a pierced belly button. It's my dirty secret. No one knows about it. Well, I guess you guys know about it. I have a story to tell you. Once upon a time there was a kitten in a very small cage. The kitten grew, the cage didn't.

The end.

Wasn't that wonderful? No, no, no, no it was terrible. I am awful at telling good stories. I know who tells good stories though, and that person is Martha Stewart. She went to prison, you know? I bet she knows how to make a really good prison cheesecake. She could even make it all fancy with prison flowers, and prison icing. Going to prison would be so scary, I would be afraid of the sleepwalkers. Or if I sleepwalked, they would all be afraid of me. One night I slept walked right out of bed into the garage and screamed because I thought buzz lightyear was outside trying to murder us all. Evil Buzz Lightyear would be incredibly terrifying and also quite hilarious.

You know who else would be an amazing super villian? A secret weapon, an immigrant who's not afraid to step in? Who's constantly confusing and confounding the British henchmen? Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Also known as LAFAYETTE! The Lancelot of the Revolution! He's America's favorite fighting Frenchman! LAFAYETTE! LAFAYETTE! Okay I got a little distracted, I'm listening to Hamilton right now. I love Hamilton. It's weird that it's a rap musical about one of America's founding fathers, but I think that's also what makes it awesome. I will never look at the ten dollar bill (the ten dollar, founding father without a father, got a lot smarter by working a lot harder) the same way again (and things will never be the same...okay okay I'm stopping now). I wrote that all from memory, BTW. I'm not obsessed with Hamilton. No I am not!

I'M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

Okay, maybe I am a little bit.

Children gain valuable information by learning schemes such as banging, shaking, and mouthing objects. Schemes help children discover how objects are best used and how to use objects in new and interesting ways. Young infants use a variety of simple schemes such as mouthing, banging, handling, grasping and reaching to discover the properties of objects. IE: hard things such as blocks, soft things such as cotton balls, noisy things such as rattles and sticky things such as a piece of tape. Infants practice adapting and combining schemes until they perfect an approach that works for them. I copied and pasted that from my textbook. Maybe one day someone will google learning schemes and this letter will pop up and then they will be forced to read my fanfiction. MUAHAHAHAHA my evil plan is almost complete!

I'm rockin', rockin' and rollin', down to the beach I'm strolling, the seagulls poke at my head NOT FUN. I said seagulls, mmmmm stop it now! That is my elevator song. I sing it in the elevator with strangers to make them feel uncomfortable. I also dance. It's very entertaining.

Did any of that make sense? I bet not. It doesn't even make sense to me, and where is the real chapter anyway? You probally think that I am insane, and you are not wrong. But trust me, this all had a point and that point was to trick you into believing that this was the actual next chapter and also that I hate Mufasa. So my actual point is that I just wanted to wish you all a very happy APRIL FOOL'S!

Much love,

SongsofPsyche

P.s who's the best, c'est moi.

Sorry...sorry I'll stop now.

(Nevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr)