It was another day at the Loud House; granted, there was ruckus as usual, but it is to be expected. What was particularly special about this day, however, was that it was Lincoln's birthday, his twelfth birthday to be exact. Naturally, a day like this should be commemorated. You're only twelve years old once, right? After some consideration, the parents decide to take Lincoln out to eat and follow that up by going to the movie theaters. While the parents and Lincoln's sisters were preparing for the event, they were noticeably shy of one person.
Luan, the resident comedian, had been spending a few hours in Lincoln's bedroom, applying dozens of fireworks to his door frame. Each firework was set to go off the moment that Lincoln walks into the room. If everything goes according to plan, Lincoln would have the biggest surprise of his life. True, Luan's pranks tend to go awry, but Luan made certain that everything would go off without a hitch. With match in hand, Luan unceremoniously lights the stack of fireworks, and quietly exited the room.
"This will make his birthday a real blast," says Luan, giggling at her own joke.
Rita and Lynn Sr. finalized the reservations for the restaurant, and they call the kids into the living room. The parents do a head count to assure that everyone was present, but with each count, they discovered that they were short one person. Lynn Sr. glances down at his wristwatch, then back upstairs.
"I wonder what Luan's up to."
Rita carefully scans the room for the missing child. Sure enough, he was right; Luan was nowhere to be seen.
"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her all day." Rita places her purse around her arm.
"I remember she said something about doing something special for Lincoln." Lisa – the 4-year-old bespectacled genius of the family – chimes in to address their curiosity. "If I may interject," Lisa begins with a monotonous tone "I seem to recall Luan conducting something in Lincoln's room."
The family groans in annoyance. Ever since April Fools' Day, Luan had made her family's life a living hell. Whether it's propping a bucket of water on the door, or replacing the pillows with gelatin, it was almost as if Luan took pleasure in making her family miserable. And yet, they didn't have the heart to tell Luan that she wasn't funny; she puts so much time and effort into her pranks that telling her would break her little heart. That's the problem, though. Luan never once considers dialing her pranks back. Her family had suffered grievous injuries because of her dangerous stunts, but Luan never felt guilty for the trials she places her family in. Why should she? She was pretty sure that everyone knew that it was only in good fun.
Lincoln sighs irritably. "Well, since it's my room, I'll go see."
Bracing himself for any untold horrors that could transpire, Lincoln began to ascend the stairs. Luan heard Lincoln walking up the stairs. Giggling to herself, Luan quickly hides behind a tall, potted plant across the hall from Lincoln's room. Lincoln arrives to the entrance to his room, and began to knock on the door.
"Luan," says Lincoln exasperatedly "I know you're in there. You better get out now." Luan started to giggle at how clueless her brother was to the impending prank, only to stop when he glanced in her direction. After some moments of silence, Lincoln was about to leave, only to hear sounds of sizzling emitting from the wooden frame. Baffled, Lincoln wraps his hand around the door, only to realize that it was sealed. Frustrated, Lincoln angrily bangs on the door. "Come on, stupid door, work!"
He applied both of his hands onto the doorknob in a desperate attempt to pry the door open. Without any warning, the door flies open. To his surprise, he saw the fireworks lined across his door frame. He scratches his head in curiosity.
"What the?" Before he could finish his train of thought, the fireworks explode in a succession, startling Lincoln. The blasts from the lit fireworks temporarily blind Lincoln, causing him to not be aware of his surroundings. To Luan's horror, Lincoln stumbles onto the two-story stairway, and falls. Lincoln hits the ground head-first with a hard thud. His right leg shatters upon impact, and blood began to pool out onto the floor. His family heard the sickening sound, and immediately run into the living room. What they saw was simply nightmarish. Rita wept bitterly as Lynn Sr. consoled her, while the nine sisters gather around Lincoln's unconscious body. Lori bends down to Lincoln's level, panic-stricken. She tried to not cry at the sight of her brother, but it was excruciating. With her voice breaking from sadness, she tries to stir Lincoln awake.
"Lincoln! Lincoln! Please wake up!" She shakes her brother a few times – hoping that this would wake him up – only to be restrained. The sisters grieved for their brother.
Their mourning was cut short when they heard a door slam from upstairs. Lola was the first to notice.
"Guys, someone's up there!" The sisters turn their attention to the stairs.
"I bet it's that no good Luan," growls her twin sister Lana. All nine sisters sprinted across up the stairway in a flurry of anger and sorrow. They gut each others' bedrooms in their frenzied search for the comedian, but she was nowhere to be found. As they were about to leave, they hear the bathroom door slowly creak open. Without as much of ado, they dash towards the bathroom door in the nick of time. Luan desperately tried to shut the door on her vengeful sisters only for them to pry the door open themselves. Luan was backed into a corner. She held her hands up, fully expecting them to hit her. However, she was only met by their angry glares. Each sister had a look of pure, unadulterated hatred on their faces, causing Luan to jump back in fright.
"Our brother is literally unconscious because of you!" roars Lori.
"Yeah, like what were you thinking?" yells Leni, odd since Leni hardly gets overly mad. Luan felt the severity of her sisters' intense spite for her. She could barely choke out a single word. Luan tugs at her shirt collar before taking a few slow breaths.
"I-I-I'm sorry." Luan struggled to muster up more words. "I…just thought."
Lynn interjects her, catching her off guard. "You better spit it out, or there will be hell to pay." Lynn cracks her knuckles. Intimidated, Luan continues. "I just wanted to surprise him!"
Lori chuckles sarcastically at her answer. "Oh, you surprised him alright." She crosses her arms, and sternly looks at Luan as if to interrogate her. The tension of the room was evident. What Lori said next caught Luan by the throat. "When are you going to learn that you're not funny?
The words rattled through Luan's mind at high speed. She felt sick to her stomach from those few simple words. "I'm not, fun…"
Luna interrupts the discussion. "Your jokes suck dude." This causes Luan's jaw to drop. How could Luna, her own roommate, say such a thing? She always supported her comedy routine. Was that all a lie?
Lana spoke up next. "Your comedy shtick stinks too," she remarks, grinding her teeth. Luan's eyes began to swell up. Her tears of sorrow quickly dissipate when Lucy joins in on the conversation.
Hints of rage could be easily made out from her tone. "Let's not forget your pranks." Even though she had her eyes covered, Luan still felt Lucy's judgmental stare. "You never take time to think that doing these pranks could result in harm!" The sisters loudly agreed. Lori points her index finger at Luan accusingly. "You could've killed our brother!"
Luan was close to tears. "I'm sorry, I just thought."
Lori cruelly laughs at her. "You thought? That's a riot! Since when do you ever think?"
Lori scratches her chin seemingly deep in thought. "Oh, I know your puns." Tears began to streak down Luan's cheeks.
"You always think that you're being clever by making puns, but face it: you know nothing about humor in the slightest!"
While that was bad on its own, her worldview was completely decimated by Lisa's remark. "You're the only one who laughs at such schlock. The only reason why we laugh at your jokes is because we felt sorry for you."
Luan felt a deep pain from within her body. This pain made her feel worse than the time she contracted the flu. All this time, she was convinced that she was being an entertainer and that everyone loved her jokes. The more she thought about it, she realized that even before this incident, they displayed signs of annoyance. My god, they were right. She was nowhere near as hilarious as she thought she was being.
Lori spoke again for the final time. "This was supposed to be Lincoln's special day, and you ruined it. You know what? You're officially no longer my sister." The other girls nod their heads in agreement. "If we weren't related, we would've dumped you a long time ago!"
Sisters: If we weren't related, we would've dumped you a long time ago!
The sisters all leave a crestfallen Luan alone in the bathroom. Mucus and fresh tears slowly fell down her face, causing her to wipe them away using toilet paper. Dejected by her own family, Luan subconsciously crawls into a ball, a coping mechanism of sorts.
"Lincoln...I'm sorry….I'm so sorry…."