Firstly let me apologise for it being so long since I last posted. I've sort of fell out of love with FF and RL for in the way, but I'm trying hard to regain my love for it. I'd had this chapter written for a while but it needed a Few tweaks. Thanks to some encouragement from Debbie it's at a state I'm happy with. Sorry if you've forgotten what happened. The first bit in red is the last few paragraphs of the last chapter as a recap. I can't promise when chapter 32 will be ready but I'm determined to get this story finished. Thank you so much to everyone who's still interested in this story, it means a lot I'm still getting reviews even though I've not posted in forever. Anyway I'll stop rambling. Hope you enjoy. Xx

"I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up" Jason Mraz

….OG…..

Molly dove into the shower and stood under the steady stream of water, letting it cascade down her body as she sobbed, slowly convincing herself that she'd lost him and there was no way back from this. They'd rowed before, plenty of times, and he had sulked, but this was different, he wasn't just sulking, now he was rejecting her. It seemed like he couldn't even bear to look at her, let alone touch her. She cradled her belly as she silently chastised herself for being so stupid as to even consider going on the mission while pregnant, let alone stubbornly trying to defend the decision to Charles, and then verbally throwing some horrible shit at him. She'd definitely surpassed herself this time in terms of epic Molly fuck ups. She had to make this right. One way or another she'd make it right. She wasn't about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to her.

She dried and dressed quickly then wandered back to the kitchen. Charles was sat in the same seat at the table, holding his head in his hands.

Walking over to the counter, she flicked on the kettle and his beloved coffee machine as she made them both fresh hot drinks. With some hesitation she took them over to the table and took a seat opposite him. Her stomach was in knots. She didn't think she'd been this nervous since their wedding day, when she'd had real visions that he wouldn't turn up and she'd be left standing there at the altar like a prize prannet, whilst everyone laughed at the stupid medic who thought she'd marry an officer. Elvis doing similar to Georgie a few months earlier had done nothing to calm her nerves either. She was convinced it was all a big joke at her expense. Even part way through the ceremony she was sure he'd just hot foot it out of there. It was only when he placed the ring on her finger and they said their 'I do's' that she actually relaxed and realised that it wasn't a joke, and that she was, in fact, marrying the man of her dreams.

She snapped herself out of the daydream. She wasn't about to let her marriage go down the shitter. She'd fucked up too many things in her life and this wasn't about to be one of them. She took a deep breath. "I think we need to talk don't you" she said anxiously, as she bit her bottom lip and picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. For the first time today he lifted his head and looked into her sad eyes, the fire in his eyes had waned and all she saw was sadness, as he nodded in agreement. Before closing his eyes again and rubbing his temples.

His headache was starting to kick in properly now, despite the nurofen.

"I...I fucked up yesterday…" she said quietly

"That's one way of putting it" He scoffed. The second the words left his mouth he regretted them and internally chastised himself for saying it. Why was he trying to make this harder for her? He wanted her to make the first move and be the one to apologise, and she was, so why was he now being an arse about it?!

Thankfully she chose to ignore his comment, usually she'd be straight in with a retort but not this time.

"I'm so sorry for everything that happened. I know it was all my fault. It all just got a bit crazy, and went to shit. One minute we're fine and the next you're saying I need to think about our marriage, and you and the baby" she said sadly.

Charles lifted his head and eyed her cautiously, he wasn't about to be won over by her big, beautiful, green doe eyes.

"So what exactly are you sorry for Molly?" He queried.

She sighed. "Everything. Everything that happened yesterday was as a result of me being stubborn and pig headed, typical Molly eh? I'm sorry I barged into your office, made a scene and embarrassed you. That was so totally out of order. I'm a Lance Corporal for God's sake, I shoulda known better, shown a bit more of that, whadaya call it, decorum, and not brought the argument to work. I had no idea Beck would be there. Not that him being there made a difference. It still weren't right." She cringed as she thought back to the events of the day before and Beck sitting in the office, the look on his face as she went off on one. "I just didn't think. I was stressed and hormonal, and very angry, but that's no excuse. Charles I'm really sorry."

"Molly, I'm not annoyed at you for barging into my office, although it wasn't the best thing to do, there are more suitable ways of handling a situation. Do you really think I'm that mad over you storming into my office?" He asked surprised.

"No. I know it's not just that. I'm just saying that probably didn't help. It started to go downhill from there, so you'd have every right to be mad at me for that, as well as everything else"

Charles offered up a small smile in return as he nodded at her, but didn't say anything. Molly wasn't sure whether his gesture was because he agreed to what she was saying or that he was acknowledging she was sorry. She took it either way though and continued.

"I know you were just worried about me and trying to help me see sense, but I just didn't want to listen to reason. I thought I knew best, as always! I was being selfish. I didn't even think about you and I certainly didn't see it from your perspective. All I saw was what I wanted to do. Charles you have to believe me when I say that you, Sam and this baby are my priority, our family will always be. I don't need space and time to think. I know exactly what I want and it's you, us." She implored.

Charles let out a sigh. "I want to believe you Molly, of course I do, but actions speak louder than words. You chose Elvis and this mission over me and our baby" he said sadly, as she saw his shoulders slump.

Molly's eyes widened as she looked at him. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time since all the shit in Kenya. She'd never really noticed but the last few weeks had definitely taken a toll on him, well on both of them really. She'd been so wrapped up with Georgie, making sure she was ok that she'd failed to notice the impact Kenya, and now her own actions were having on him. He was clearly worried about Georgie and the situation, but no doubt about her and the baby too. Instead of recognising that and trying to support him she wasn't making his life any easier. He was getting a little grayer round the temples, his mood was more erratic than usual, and he had a general weariness about him. She could see the sadness in his eyes. The spark that used to be there was missing. As she sat and looked at him, really looked at him, she saw it, he looked...broken. She actually felt her heart shatter a little bit at realising the part she'd played in making him feel like this. He was her husband. The love of her life. The very thought made her want to cry. A wave of emotion hit her as she bit back a sob. Then suddenly she had an overwhelming urge to throw up.

She'd been feeling queasy all morning but put it down to the tension between her and Charles, but now wasn't so sure that was the case. She knew if she didn't get to the bathroom quickly she'd be reacquainted with her breakfast. She could feel the sweat break out as she jumped up from the table and covered her mouth as she ran as quickly as she could to the bathroom.

Charles looked up in alarm as she jumped up from the table. He'd recognised the change as soon as she stopped talking. What little colour she had, literally drained from her face as she ran from the room.

His hangover and throbbing head were quickly forgotten as he ran after her to the bathroom, where he found her crouched over the toilet, retching. Instantly he dropped to his knees and started rubbing her back as he moved her hair away from her face, all the while soothing her and telling her it would all be ok.

Once he was sure she'd finished emptying the contents of her stomach he grabbed the face cloth and soaked it in cold water before wiping her forehead and back of her neck.

Seeing her lying on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet was a wake up call for him. He realised that she wasn't the only one to blame. It's not like he'd been completely honest with her, and, she was right. He did love her feistiness and spirit. He knew she wouldn't just let things lie. Even though she was pregnant. He couldn't really fault her for agreeing to go with Elvis. Her career was hugely important to her. And he respected that. But seeing her lying there, suffering, made him realise how stubborn he'd been. And how much she must have worried last night when he didn't make contact. He felt sick at putting her through that. Again he let his pride and stubbornness get in the way. Seeing her like this scared him. He knew it was all part and parcel of pregnancy. He had, after all seen it with Rebecca. But looking at his usually feisty Molly, she looked so vulnerable and fragile. All he wanted to do was pick her up, hold her, love her and protect her.

"Is that any better?" he asked quietly

"A bit,"'she sniffed. "I thought I was done with the morning sickness"

"Can I get you anything?" he asked as he continued to pat her forehead with the cloth. "tea?"

"Ginger tea please."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

He quickly left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen, switching the kettle on and flicking on his coffee machine to brew a strong cup of rosabaya. The nurofen had kicked in a bit but his head was still pounding.

When he returned to the bathroom Molly hadn't moved from her spot on the floor.

"I think me and the toilet are going to be firm friends again" she sighed.

"Here's your ginger tea, and I made some toast, might help settle both of our stomachs." He smiled as he sat down beside her.

"I have a good reason to feel like shit but I've no sympathy for you, yours was self inflicted" she groaned.

He let out a small chuckle. "I know. I wouldn't expect any. I'd blame Elvis normally but this was all on me." He said as he took a long sip of coffee.

He watched her as she sat with her head against the wall, eyes closed as she sipped her tea. Even with her hair plastered to her face, and, quite frankly, looking like shit, she was still the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. His heart swelled as he thought about how much her loved her.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Molly... I'm sorry" he began.

Her eyes snapped open as a frown crossed her brow as she turned to face him "What on earth are you sorry for?" She asked confused. "It's me that's sorry"

"I should have been there for you, to take care of you. I didn't even notice you were suffering"

"I'm not suffering, not really, it's normal init'. I'm not the first woman to have morning sickness during pregnancy and I won't be the last. Don't think it's helped that I didn't really sleep or eat yesterday, but I'll be ok once this passes"

"But still, I should've been here for you" He put his head in his hands. "It's just….." he began

Molly took a deep breath and placed her hand over his. "Charles stop...please. I just, I need you to shut up and listen because there's things I want and need, to say. I don't just wanna sweep this under the carpet, we can't just forget about everything that happened, we need to talk about it. But, can we do it in the other room as I'm getting a numb bum from sitting on the cold floor!" She grimaced, as she shifted positions.

Charles lifted his head, a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips as he stared into her eyes, before nodding his head slightly, standing up he offered her his hand to help her up. He followed her into the living room and sat down on one end the sofa. Molly opted for the other end. She clasped her hands on her lap as she fiddled with her wedding ring. Why did she find it so hard to talk to him? She never struggled to say anything usually, but when it came to Charles she clammed up. Probably because more often than not her gob got her into trouble and she always ended up saying the wrong thing. But she had some explaining and apologising to do. No matter how hard or painful it might be. She took a deep breath…

"I'm sorry about what I said yesterday, you know, all that stuff about Rebecca. I should never have chucked that shit at you. Not only was it out of order but I didn't mean any of it. I was just angry.

I know you don't want me to be anything like her, or want me to be the stepford housewife that stays at home keeping house and havin' your dinner on the table when you come home. Especially the dinner bit, cos we both know how shit I am at cooking" she smiled, trying to inject a bit of humour into the conversation. He once said she won him over with her charm and magnetism so maybe it would work this time and he'd start to forgive her. Although she knew it would take more than a crap joke and sense of humour this time.

"Well there is that" Charles said as he allowed a little laugh to snort down his nose, before quickly stopping. "I'm not gonna lie though Molly, bringing Rebecca up, even though you didn't mean it, that really hurt me."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I never want to hurt you Charles. All I want to do is make you happy" she said sadly, as she averted her gaze from his and looked down at her knees, as she picked at an imaginary piece of fluff on her trousers.

"And you do sweetheart, more than anything. That's why I can get so crazy and jealous. Because I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you. It would crush me. I promised I'd love you and take care of you for the rest of our lives and I want to do that Molly. I don't give a shit about anything else other than you and the baby" he said, moving along the sofa so he was now sat beside her, as he placed one hand in hers and the other hand gently on her growing bump, "This right here, and Sam is my world. This is what means more to me than anything".

Molly blinked back tears as she looked at him.

"I should never have agreed to go on the mission with Elvis. It was stupid. I weren't thinkin' properly. All I could see was a chance to help put an end to Georgie's misery. I can't believe I put something like Abu ahead of you and this life growing inside me. It's just...I dunno. It all seemed possible. Everything seemed possible in Kenya and even back home. I guess I thought I could have it all, do it all. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the changes I guess" she sighed, as she felt the first trickle of tears run down her face. Charles shifted in his seat and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a hug as he gently played with her hair.

"I know you are. And you can have it all Molls, no one is saying you can't. I don't want you to give everything up. I'd never ask that of you. I know it's not you. Although you might feel differently when the baby comes. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I shouldn't have got involved in your career and gone behind your back to Elvis. I'm sorry for that. I know you're capable of making your own decisions so I should trust your judgement, it's just, I felt so out of control and you know how that doesn't sit well with me." He admitted, as he tightened his hold on her and pulled her closer into him.

"And you're right by the way. I should have told you about Syria before I agreed to go. I didn't even think, because it's what we do and it's never been an issue before, but I can see it's different now, we both have the baby to think about."

"To be honest, I made that out to be a much bigger deal than it was. I was just frustrated and angry and knew I really only had that to be pissed off with you at", she shyly admitted.

Charles let out a small chuckle. "Well regardless of whether you care or not I still should have discussed it with you" he said as he turned to face her. His eyes searching hers. Hoping to find the spark that would bring back his equilibrium.

"If I'm being honest, I'm scared" he confessed. "I fear that you're going to wake up one day and this life, the one we have, isn't going to be enough for you. I know why you wanted to work with Elvis, the excitement, the thrill. I get it. It's what I've always admired about you, your feistiness and I don't want to crush your spirit. I don't want to make you something you're not" Charles said sadly.

"Charles you are not crushing my spirit. All of this was on me. I was being selfish. I'm the one who said I wanted to start a family. Not you. I guess I was just shocked that I was already pregnant before really having time to get my head around the idea. It all happened really fast and I guess I panicked. I'm used to just being able to do what I want. Especially when it comes to work. Let's face it, we both know I don't listen to orders very well" she smiled. "But I never meant to make you feel like you weren't my priority. Or enough for me. Of course you're enough. I love our life. I just got caught up in the situation. You know I've always strived to make something of myself. To be accepted, respected, prove myself even and I guess I was just flattered that Elvis wanted me to work with him."

"Well of course he would Molls. You're fucking awesome. Everyone wants you on their team" he sighed

"Molly. If anything ever happened to you. I don't know what I'd do. You're my lifeline. I need you" he said as he gently cupped her face and wiped away her tears "I feel like I can't function without you. On paper we shouldn't work. We're so different. But you've made me come alive. I feel like anything is possible with you."

"Ditto" She replied as she looked into his eyes, before averting her gaze. "Would you give it all up for me?" She muttered.

"Yes." He swallowed. "If that's what you wanted. I once told you I'd spend the rest of my life making you happy. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep that promise molls. Nothing in this world is more important to me than you and this baby. Not the army. Not Elvis, not Georgie. I know you're scared. I know you think you're gonna be a shit mum and that you won't be able to cope but you will."

Molly stared at him as a frown crossed her face. She'd never voiced that fear to him. Ever. But it was something that she thought about constantly. She loved her mum and dad dearly, but she didn't have the best upbringing and she was scared she was gonna be clueless and her baby would end up having a childhood like she did. But he knew. How on earth could he see into her soul. As if he could read her mind he answered on cue.

"Molly, I know you better than you know yourself. I know you think you won't cut it as a parent. But you will. You're a fantastic stepmum to Sam. And you practically raised your siblings. You'll be amazing. No one has this shit figured out. And yes it's hard, and demanding and there will be days when you want to cry with frustration. But you deal with it one day at a time. And I'll be with you every step of the way. You're not alone in this. We'll figure it out together. But whatever happens you'll be brilliant. You always are. Anything you put your mind too you achieve and give it 100% percent. I know you're scared. I am too. It's natural. But we'll do this together. I know deep down that's why you agreed to go with Elvis. Because even though it's scary you know what you're doing and you feel in control."

Molly was sobbing uncontrollably now as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder.

"Come on. Please don't cry. It's ok. It's all going to be ok" he soothed.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you yesterday. I completely understand why you were so angry and hurt by it. And why you spoke to Elvis about it" she said through the sobs. "I know you were just tryna' help and I was being my usual stroppy self and not willing to listen. I know you weren't being malicious. You were just worried and scared and looking out for me. I get it now."

"You do?" He queried, as he shifted position and pulled her away from him so that he was now eying her with a look of curiosity.

"Yeah I do" she said, as the tears subsided and she reached for a tissue on the coffee table to wipe her eyes and nose.

"What made you change your mind?"

"I felt the baby kick." She smiled.

"What? When?" He exclaimed.

"Yesterday. After I left your office. It's the first time I'd felt it but it brought it all home. Up until then I'm not sure I thought it was real. But then I felt the baby kick and it all made sense. I'm carrying a life inside me. A baby. Our baby. And I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid as to suggest going on the mission. Regardless of whether I'd be in danger or not. I have other responsibilities now. And for the first time I realised how scared and angry you must have been at me.

"I love you Charles. I'm sorry for hurting you. I don't need to think about what's important to me. It's you. You're all I've ever wanted, since I stepped out onto the tarmac at Brize Norton and you threatened to lob me out of the plane. It's only ever been you" she smiled.

"I promise I'll call Elvis and let him know I won't be able to support him on this", she stopped talking but searched his eyes for an indication that things were going to be ok between them before reaching out and placing a hand on his chest. Praying he didn't flinch at her touch like he did earlier in the morning. Thankfully he didn't. "You rejecting me was one of the most painful things ever." She whispered, as she moved her other hand up to stroke his face.

"Molly I wasn't rejecting you I just, I didn't know how to handle what was going on that's all. I was angry and hurt and your touch is my undoing. I knew if I let you near me I'd forgive you anything. Not kissing you was the hardest thing. That's all I want to do"

"So why don't you?" She challenged, the cheeky glint back in her eye as she flicked her tongue across her lips.

Charles allowed a smile to creep across his lips as he cupped her cheek and gently ran his fingers across her face. The pad of his thumb pawing her cheek softly as she leant her head into his hand. He moved his head down so their foreheads were touching and closed his eyes.

"Can you forgive me?" She whispered.

"Molly..." he croaked as his voice caught in his throat, "Of course I can." He whispered.

He pulled her body close to his and felt the bump against his torso.

"I love you Molly without reservation or expectation and I know that you are and always will be the one for me. I need you 100% by my side, forever.

"Now come here and let me love you and take care of you. And baby James." he whispered, as he pulled her lips to his and caught her bottom lip between his, before he deepened the kiss. His tongue exploring her mouth as she moved her hands up his back and into his hair. Tugging gently at the curls at the bottom of his neck. The surge of love he felt for her making his heart swell. Her hands travelled down his body towards his trousers as she fiddled with the button, finally managing to loosen it, as she slid his trousers and boxers down in one swift movement. She could feel his erection pressing into her thigh as she moved her hands back up towards his neck, dragging his T-shirt off in the process. She heard him catch his breath and watched him gently bite his lip and close his eyes as she planted kisses all along his jaw, down his neck and chest, trailing them down his abdomen, along the faint line of hair that led to her happy place, as she sunk to her knees in front of him.

"Molly stop" he growled, knowing that if he didn't stop her now he'd more than likely come undone in the next 30 seconds.

"She raised her head to look at him, a wicked glint in her eye, as she bit her lip"

"I need you now, but not here, not like this. I want to make love to you." He pulled her up and grabbed her hand, before picking her up and putting her over his shoulder, gently slapping her arse in the process, which made Molly let out a small Shriek in surprise then a giggle, as he led them both down the corridor towards the bedroom. Yep, he'd definitely found his equilibrium.

—-

So they've forgiven each other and realised they were both being stubborn. Let's hope it's smooth sailing from here on out for our favourite couple!