A discarded notepad sits on the table, crinkled and stained with ketchup...

It doesn't belong here.

nice. free notepad. paps must have forgotten it. finders keepers

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butts.

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hehehheh. butt butt butt. my favorite pie is buttspie with lots of butter.

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What did one wave say to the other?

Nothin' he just waved.

What did the grape say when he got stepped on?

Nothin' he just whined.

i should probably have someone actually say something for these jokes to be a bit more effective, huh? nah.

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What's a mummy's favorite music genre?

Mummy wrap.

heh. heh. that one's really really bad aint it. that's a keeper.

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some reason i get the urge to write more than just bad jokes here. like I wanna say more. that'd be weird tho, wouldn't it?

heh, and i aint weird.

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What did the flower say when his house caught on fire?

Nothin', he made like a tree and leafed.

Why did the flower need a job?

He was dirt poor.

Why was the flower feelin' so blue?

Can't find the root of the problem there.

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really got flowers on the mind, don't i? wonder why that could be.

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you know, it's strange. i keep coming back to this notepad even though my mind says why bother. what's the point in writing down what I see or feel? not like anyone's gonna read this, heh.

but why not. let's give it a go. i'm interested, for whatever reason.

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i'm sittin' here at tori's bakery shop. it's raining outside, like always. got a plate of that butts pie im so fond of. it's good, but(t) could use more butts. table I'm sitting at is uhhh… looks like a table. yep, sturdy. round? It's round. that's how these things go. you describe all the stuff here, right?

it's pretty late here. no one's around at this time of night. tori's nice enough to let me hang out after closing and feed me the leftovers she didn't sell, and I'm cheap enough to take 'em. she really goats me, i guess.

usually tori would be swappin' bad jokes with me right now, but she's been pretty busy since that trial ended. turns out, no one was willing to take over the family's duties after ol' gorey got sent away. Not even fish face. kinda expected her to take over. guess she's too busy playin' detective with my bro.

tori, bein' the nice lady she is, decided she'd take up leadership. probably for the best. if anyone can manage building homes for the poor and being generally kind to all us monsters, it's her. i certainly don't know what bein' the leader entails, and im not exactly rarin' to find out.

although, between you and me, it does get a bit more boring in the shop without her around. oh well. guess that's why im writing this, isn't it?

it's so boring, i don't think I even have anything left to write. dang. guess i'll just go back to writing (bad) jokes.

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Why didn't the Flower eat chloroform?

He was chlorofull.

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heh. really havin' a bad time tryin' to think of something other than flowers.

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maybe it's cuz I've been thinking about my good pal, flowey, a lot lately. can't blame a guy, can you? tori literally has him on her person at all times.

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Well. Most of the times.

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I don't think Tori knows it, but that little scamp escapes sometimes when she's not lookin'. Heh, but it's not like he'd get into any trouble, now would he? No, no, that doesn't sound like the good natured Flowey I know. His parents would never allow him to get into any trouble.

His parents would probably protect him from anything. Even though he didn't see ol' Gorey much, I get the feeling Flowey's dad really cared about him…and I mean really cared for him.

I shouldn't be gossiping. But, it's not like anyone is going to read this anyway, right? There's nothing wrong with writing down some of my own little speculations. Just a hypothesis, is all.

Now, while I'm sure Gorey was quite the nice guy, he did some awful things. Maybe he did them because he thought they were right. Maybe he did those things knowing it was wrong, but believed it was for a good cause. Honestly, can't say I blame him all that much either way.

This leads us back to the trial, though. Boy, that trial was objectively a good time. I'm so proud of my bro. He proved me wrong a number of times. If it weren't for him and fish sticks, I probably would have sent an innocent person away.

Instead, I sent a not-quite-innocent person away.

Heh. heh. Tori had me promise I'd be a fair judge. A good judge. She told me to take it seriously, don't mess around, don't favor anyone. Me, like the bonehead I am, I promised her I would.

Why do I keep making promises I know I'm just going to break?

Oh. Spoilers, I guess. I broke that promise towards the end of the case. I don't think Asgore killed that Burger fella. In fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't. Still, I let them convict ol' Fluffybuns.

I wasn't sure what happened until he took the stand of course, till I heard all the facts from metal head and fish face. The ideas, the guesses, they were always in the back of my skull, gnawing away in the dark, but I suppose I'm good at ignoring things like that.

Something needed to be done with Asgore, after all. He needed to stop those little bad habits of his. I couldn't see a more peaceful solution than this. Us monsters have never really needed to make a jail, after all. They were strangely forgiving, even knowing what he did.

The monsters in charge of the judicial system, (Mettaton, Gertrude, myself and a few others) decided we'd keep him under house arrest. At least, that's kind of the best way to describe it. He's not allowed to leave his home, not really allowed to do anything without The Family (aka Tori) knowing. People can still come visit him, ask him for advice, make a bit of tea, but that's about it.

So I get what you're thinking. Asgore (supposedly) kills an innocent kid. A monster kid no less. He only gets house arrest? He got off easy. Well, to be honest, we thought about the death penalty. It was an uncomfortable subject and it was clear there was no monster out there that would be able to carry it out.

Well, heh, guess that's not completely true.

The guy's pretty sad still. But, I think he's feeling a little better. He's left to those plants and flowers he loves so much. Not many come to visit him, though, but I think they'll come around. This is probably the happiest ending that could come out of the situation, isn't it?

Still, if Asgore didn't kill that monster, though, who did? Who did, I wonder? And why?

Once again, I want to remind anyone reading this (but no one is reading this, so it doesn't matter) that this is all speculation. I don't have any proof, and I never witnessed anything myself.

But…

I get the feeling my pal, Flowey, killed Burgerpants. Strange, I know. Very strange. Flowey is such a cheerful, happy, helpful little friend, isn't he? Why would he ever do something like that?

Well, first, we need to understand why he was with Asgore at the scene of the crime that night. I have a hunch. I think ol' Gorey finally got enough of what he wanted out of his little bad habits. I think he wanted to give the fruits of his effort to Flowey, hoping that maybe it'd turn his son back to normal.

Problem with that, is Tori wouldn't let Asgore near Flowey. She was very adamant, believe me, the arguments those two would get into got pretty heated. (get it, cuz fire magic) But, my good friend, Flowey, he's a crafty little guy. He's made some escapes; he's gotten into contact with his father before without his mother's knowledge.

How do I know that? Just a hunch, that's all. What? I'm not the type to stalk people.

This brings us to that fateful night. If I had to guess what the scene would be, it'd probably be like this:

The rain musta been pouring like it always is. Asgore probably waited in that alley way for a good amount of time, without an umbrella. He was soaked to the bone, but poor Gorey felt he deserved it. He had soul and he had determination.

Once Flowey actually showed up, he probably did that sickly sweet thing he likes to do. Call him "daddy" and all that nonsense, really get into Asgore's head. It must have been difficult seeing his son like this, but I bet Asgore was thinking it'd all be worth it. All those horrible things he did, all of it would be worth it if he could see his son again.

Although, thinking on it, human souls and determination are all well and good, right? You can do some great things with those on your side, but isn't it missing one important ingredient?

Right, right, I forgot. A monster's soul.

Flowey doesn't have one of those, now does he?

Still hypothetically speaking here, of course… Asgore knew all this. He knew a monster soul would probably be needed. But, I don't think he meant for it to be Burgerpants. I don't think Asgore planned on giving any monster's soul but his own.

Flowey, being the precocious scamp that he is, also knew a monster soul would be necessary. This whole thing was probably just a misunderstanding.

Poor Burgerpants, though. Wrong place, wrong time. How can a guy be so unlucky? Hey, whenever I'm feeling down, at least I can remind myself some other guy had it way worse.

Anyway, this Burgerpants fella shows up, and here's what I think happens. Flowey misunderstands the situation. Or maybe he didn't care. Maybe those dark habits of Asgore rubbed off on him in that moment. Maybe Flowey was just feeling particularly grumpy that day. Who knows? I certainly can't read that flower's mind. Don't want to either. Hope I never do.

Flowey kills Burgerpants on the spot before Asgore can even react. A huge vine, full of thorns, slams him into the dumpster. Looks like a claw mark (or maybe a trident mark), heh. Now, remember, little flower boy is the son of two incredibly powerful fire users. Even if it wasn't on purpose, I think he's still got a little heated edge to his attacks. Explains why the time of death couldn't be figured out. Dust was still hot. No one expected fire magic.

This frightens Asgore. This was meant to be his son, Asriel? How could this cruel being before him claim to be his son, yet be so full of hate? Maybe Asgore blamed himself at that moment.

Either way, he couldn't go through with it after that. Maybe everything he did would go to waste, maybe those humans died for nothing, but he couldn't keep making mistakes, now could he? Just because he buried a hole so deep for himself, didn't mean he had to keep digging and take everyone with him, right?

Probably good thinking, I'd say. Best thinking he'd done in a while.

I'll bet Flowey lost that sweet charm of his after that. I'll bet he demanded those souls and that Determination from Asgore. "Why won't you give it to me?! I'm your son!" he probably said. Maybe even threatened him when things didn't go his way.

Asgore must have been feeling real bad at that time, but you gotta remember, through it all, he is still a father. A father disciplines his child. For the first time in years, maybe even ever, I think Asgore raised his voice at Flowey. I think he told Flowey "Go home to your mother, never speak of this again."

"I'm not going anywhere until I get my -"

"I said GO!"

And just like that, Flowey was afraid. He'd never seen his father like this. Ol' Fluffybuns actually mad? Boy, almost wish I coulda seen that.

But I didn't.

Flowey must have dug back into the ground, running away to his mama while papa cleaned up after his mess.

Heh, it's a good thing no one else figured it out, right? If Tori found out about this, would she be able to live with herself, I wonder? I have no idea what she might do. What would everyone think if they found out Flowey was a killer?

I think it'd be a lot of trouble for the little guy. I think he knows better now, though. I don't think he's ever going to hurt anyone again, or else he'll have a pretty bad time.

Luckily, this is all guess work. No one has to know. No one needs to mess up this happy ending we got. No one's going to read this.

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guess this is just between you and me, isn't it, pal?

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The notepad had appeared on his bedroom table that night. Flowey knew it wasn't on accident. He read the thing, read through the crappy jokes and the even crappier handwriting. His leaves trembled slightly, his vision blurred multiple times.

With an angry toss, the notepad slammed into the lit fireplace. The flames ignored it completely, of course. Toriel's fire was never hot enough to burn.

With the grit of his teeth and the furrow of a brow, the fireplace erupted in flames. The notepad was devoured, disintegrated.

Turned to dust.

The thought unnerved him, haunted his mind. It was best to douse those flames now, forget it ever happened.

The fire cackled at him.

And the rain poured.

That smiley trashbag…