Alter Ego
Shit! Sakura's mind screamed.
Anubis chuckled as Sakura got into a fighting stance. He strolled casually along to her parents' tombstones, treating them as if they were common boulders found in the middle of a park. Sakura's gaze never wavered and it narrowed as he touched the marker for her mother's resting place.
"It has been a long time, my kawaii yingfa," said Anubis seductively, his eyes trailing over her form. Sakura struggled not to gag.
It wasn't that Anubis was ugly, far from it in fact. He had copper hair that was short in the front and long in the back. He spiked the front while the back was pulled into a ponytail. His eyes were so brown that they looked black. From what you could tell, he was quite well built. He looked about twenty-eight.
"Go fuck yourself," snarled Sakura, getting annoyed by Anubis' mere presence. Why the hell is he here?? her mind screamed.
Smirking, Anubis walked up to Sakura, stopping just out of her reach. "Now, now Sakura, no need to get defensive. I'm here in peace. No need to worry about me killing you… You're much too beautiful to waste." He took a step forward and brushed a stray lock of hair from Sakura's face.
Swatting his hand away, Sakura manage to say through clenched teeth, "Don't touch me." She didn't know why - okay, that might not be true - but Anubis he just… irked her, like an itch she couldn't scratch, and it aggravated her to no end. What made it worse was that it was the anniversary of her parents' death, and Anubis knew that. She was sure of it. How dare he come here? As much as she tried to hold down the rage, it just seemed to bubble up.
It was then Sakura remember what Syaoran had said about Anubis getting to her. Damn him! she thought as she realized he was absolutely right. Forcing herself to calm down, she said tightly, "What do you want?"
"You, naturally," said Anubis casually, making Sakura's face contort in disgust. "But for today, all I want is to talk." He leaned on a nearby tree and smirked at her.
Sakura arched an eyebrow. "To talk," she repeated disbelievingly. Anubis nodded and she let out a scoff. "You've got to be joking. Like you would come all the way out here just to talk! I can't believe that!"
It was Anubis' turn to arch an eyebrow. "Is it so hard to believe that I'm not a blood thirsty barbarian?" He paused for a moment as if in deep thought. "Well, perhaps I am, but I am also refined. I can hold a civilized conversation when I want to. Besides, why would I come to kill you? You've been all I've sought after for many years."
"How could I forget?" muttered Sakura sarcastically. Sighing, she crossed her arm, annoyed to realize that she was satisfied he wouldn't kill and or cause her physical pain in any way. "So what do you want to talk about, oh refined one?"
"Actually, it's something that concerns you," replied Anubis vaguely, closing his eyes and also crossing his arms. A look of boredom marred his face. He chuckled to himself as if he had just thought up some great joke. "Of course it is. That's obvious. Why would I come all the way here to discuss politic? Though I wouldn't say no to discussing your views on the way this country is run."
The Black Wolf rolled her eyes at what she considered a pathetic being that was situated in front of her. "Cut to the chase. What exactly do you want to tell me or whatever?"
Giving a half smile and cracking one eye open, Anubis said, "Always to the point." He took a deep breath. "I've simply come to tell you that you should join me now as my consort. It would save both of us a lot of time and effort."
Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Sakura wondered. I think I did… Oh - My - God. She couldn't help it. She giggled. Damn. Better make it up with words! "And why the hell would I do something so fucking stupid?" That'll do.
"Oh! Big words!" mocked Anubis, smiling at her. Sakura scowled. Her pushed off from the tree. "I suppose if you won't join me now, I'll have to make you love me." He leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, "And believe me, I can."
Sakura stepped back and laughed bitterly. "As if! I would never fall in love with you, you bastard! You're a heartless monster! You kill Yukito and then expect me just to fall into your arms and be yours for eternity? Get a reality check!"
Anubis looked thoughtful. "Yukito, Yukito…. Where have I heard that name?" Clenched fists falling to her sides, Sakura glared at him, angry tears prickling her eyes. "Oh yes! I remember now! Isn't that the young man you were convinced you were in love with? I heard about his untimely death. So sorry about that, but there's not much you can do about that is there?"
"You mother fucking piece of shit!" spat Sakura. "You killed him! You're the reason he's dead! I loved him and you took his life! I'd rather die a thousand deaths thank be with you! I hate you!"
She lunged at the man, not caring if she got hurt or worse. All that mattered as inflicting physical pain upon the man that had made her life a living nightmare. Unfortunately, Sakura didn't have her wits about her, nor was she fast enough; Anubis caught her wrists. Thrashing wildly about, the Wolf tried to escape.
"That Yukito was a liar, a cheat, a ~"
"Shut the fuck up!" screamed Sakura. She tried to kick him, but he moved. She tried to scratch his face, but he held her hands far away from his face. Exhausted with her frugal attempts, Sakura fell to her knees, sobbing quietly.
Letting go of Sakura's hands, Anubis squatted in front of her and brushed away some of the falling tears. "You deserved so much better," he whispered. Standing up, he added, "Did you know that he was willing to give you to me - literally - in order to save his own hide?"
"You're lying!" choked out Sakura.
"Oh, I assure you I'm not," responded Anubis. "In fact, he begged me to do it, to take you and leave. That just made me hate him even more. To have you when I can't is one thing, but to insult your honor? He wasn't supposed to die that night, you know. He was only supposed to get beaten, but I changed the order when he used you like a bargaining chip. I do not regret what I have done in the least. He was a pitiful excuse for a man."
The world went silent for Sakura. Everything seemed to turn black and white. Anubis… isn't the enemy? Or is he? I'm so confused! Is what he said about Yukito true? NO! It can't be!
The deafening silence was pierced by the sound of a safety mechanism clicking. "Anubis, I suggest you get the hell out of here," said an all too familiar voice. Looking up mutely, Sakura saw a very pissed looking Syaoran.
"The little wolf," said Anubis passively. He looked at the gun, then back at Syaoran. "It seems I have over stayed my welcome. Good bye, my kawaii yingfa." He brushed past the brunette. "You might want to take her home quickly. She's had quite the shock." Whistling to himself, he disappeared down the path.
"Are you alright?" asked Syaoran gruffly. He looked into Sakura's eyes for the first time since his arrival and tried not to let the shock register on his face. Her eyes were… dead. That was the only way they could be described. The emeralds had lost their shine. "Jesus! What the hell did he do to you?"
Sakura didn't respond, she merely moved her gaze to the path Anubis had disappeared down. It's kind of funny that both times I've gone into shock, its been because a loved one died, yet I've killed numerous people. Later, Sakura would realize that this was the only rational thought she have for the next while.
Seeing as how he got no response from his cousin, Syaoran sighed and plucked her up princess style. I'll have to leave my bike here. She's in no condition to ride. Jeez, I'll never understand why she preferred racing cars.
The ride home seemed to take only a few minutes, at least in Sakura point of view. It was the same when they arrived home. Everyone's voices seemed very hard to hear, so she ignored them and headed straight upstairs.
She never should've left her room.
Darkness. That's all she could see. She was drowning in it, and as she struggled to get out, it pulled her down further. Lies and truth: what was their real meaning? Where did reality leave? So confused…
Was it true? No. Never. Never. It couldn't be. It had been perfect. …Perfect. Why did she doubt him? Was she really that horrible? Yes. She was. She was a monster. She was…
…A murderer.
Hypocrite described her as well. God, why was she this way? It was all Lang's fault… no. He didn't make her this way, he just provided the means, and so it's not his fault. Why was she second-guessing herself? Was she that insecure?
Grasping her head between her hands, Sakura choked on a sob. It was wrong; all wrong. What was true? What is truth? So many conflicting emotions filled her, swallowing her up in a fit of depression that she couldn't escape.
"It can't be true, it can't be true, it can't be true," she muttered psychotically to herself. Her long fingernails made her way to the tops of her arms, and slowly she dug and pulled. It started with only red lines, but she did it over and over until she drew blood. "It can't be true…" Tears poured down her face.
Anubis couldn't be trusted. Nope. No way. No trusting allowed of that man. Nuh uh. But… what if he wasn't lying? He did love her after all. Yep, he definitely loved her. No question. Would he lie? Lying is bad, and Anubis is bad. Both bad. Do they fit?
Blood poured from her arms more heavily now, as Sakura was raking her arms faster and harder now. Surprisingly enough, it didn't hurt, not at all. It just felt like pressure against her arms. And she couldn't stop. It was like some internal demon telling her to hurt herself.
"Sakura?" asked a voice through the door, knocking loudly. She couldn't recognize it at the moment. "Sakura, are you alright? Please answer me. If you want to talk about anything…" It seemed that the person stopped to listen and her Sakura's crying. "Sakura, I'm coming in!"
The door swung open and Meiling peeked her head through. A shocked expression marred her face. "Oh my God! Sakura let me help you!" She began to hurry over to her friend and partner.
"Get out," said Sakura quietly. Apparently Meiling didn't hear because she continued over to her. "Get out!!!" she screamed, grabbing the nearest object - a vase - and hurling it at her. It just barely missed her target, and smashed against the wall. Meiling took the hint and hurried out. As soon as the door was shut, she jumped up and locked it, collapsing against the door.
It can't be true…
Swirling colors. Why was everything moving so fast? Before she knew it, she was on the floor, passed out cold.
It was the sunlight in her eyes that awoke Sakura the next morning. Sitting up, she looked at the evidence of her self-mutilation: bandages, lots of them. They were all down her arm. Holding back tears, Sakura made her way to her in suite bathroom. Peeling off her clothes, she stepped into the warm comfort of the water.
She cried then. The shower would hide her weakness. She didn't deserve to cry. The water soothed her aching muscles as it washed down her naked form, but it did nothing to ease the ache in her chest. She washed up, turned off the taps and stepped out. The bandages were sopping wet, so she took them off. Long lines of red and long scabs covered her arms. She would most probably have scars. The thought made her want to cry again, but she withheld it.
Wrapping a towel around her body, she exited the bathroom, only to see her uncle sitting on the bed. When he saw her, he stood up and nodded at her. "Sakura. How are you feeling?" His eyes traveled to her arms, which she tried to cover protectively.
"I'm alright," replied Sakura quietly, not meeting his eyes.
"We need to talk," said Lang. "Get dressed."
"Alright," whispered Sakura. She walked over to her boudoir and pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt, as well as a bra and underwear. She headed behind her changing screen. "Why don't you start while I'm changing?" she suggested.
Taking a deep breath, Lang began. "After Meiling exited your room looking thoroughly frightened, we asked her exactly what she had seen. She replied that you were in there ripping yourself apart - literally. We knocked on the door, but you wouldn't answer, so we finally got Syaoran to kick down the door, and found you unconscious on the floor.
"We quickly bandaged you up, and Meiling changed you into pajamas while Jeanette changed the sheets. You got blood all over them by the way." He paused. "You were out for about a day and a half. While you were out, you received about three dozen of these."
Fully clothed, she walked into the open and saw her uncle pointing to a bouquet with about a dozen roses. Doing the math, Sakura whistled. "Holy shit that's a lot of roses. Who sent them."
Lang pulled a little piece of paper from his pocket, the kind of tiny card that comes with sent flowers. "We didn't see them arrive, and there was no name. We did however, find this in one of the bouquets. We're hoping you know who it's from." Sakura took the paper and read it.
You deserve better.
She crumpled the card in her fist. "Three guesses who, but the first two don't count," whispered Sakura angrily. Lang nodded knowingly. "I suppose you want to know what happened." Again, Lang nodded. "He showed up at their graves. He said he wanted to talk, and then started spewing shit about me loving him and saving time or what have you. Then," Sakura's voice cracked, "he said that Yukito was a traitor, that he would have turned me over in order to save his life." Tears returned to her eyes.
"Sakura look at me. You know Anubis, and you knew Yukito. Do you think he really would have done something like that?"
"I didn't think so… but Anubis… God, I'm so confused!" cried Sakura, throwing herself on her bed.
"It's a lie," said Lang sternly. "Don't believe a word that bastard Anubis tells you for a moment. He'd do anything to get what he wants. He's going to try and turn you against those you love. You have to ignore it. He did the same thing to me one - and to your father. That's how he works, he manipulates people. It's how the Jackals have come so far in such a short amount of time."
"You're right," said Sakura sitting up. "I will fight his deceit! And then I'll fight him personally and I kill him."
And she meant it. She'd do everything in her power to teach that prick a lesson. Sakura would torture him emotionally like he had done to her numerous times. When she was through, Anubis will wish he had never mess with the Yingfa Lang.
A/N: There you go. Nice, emotionally angsty chapter. The next one will not take as long, that I promise you. No way. *nods* I'll probably get to update again before the month is done… but don't hold me to that! I shall try. Anyways, review me with critique, suggestions or whatever else you'd like. Thanks.