So this is a weird and new idea, so I hope you like it. Yes, this is a parody of CinemaSins Everything Wrong With series, and I actually love these books, I don't mean to offend anyone by writing this, but I do hope to make you laugh a little. Now let's sarcastically criticize Wings of Fire! Plz don't hate me…

I don't own Wings of Fire or the Everything Wrong With series!

Bold Text = The text of the actual series

Normal Text = My comment

When the war has lasted twenty years...the dragonets will come. That is a LONG time to wait! Why couldn't you have it so that they would come after one year? That saves 95% of the bloodshed!

When the land is soaked in blood and tears...the dragonets will come. How soaked? These prophecies are REALLY unspecific. If it means that you can't step without getting blood on your talons, then yeah, that's gonna take a bit longer that twenty years.

Find the Seawing egg of deepest blue. See what I mean?! What shade?!

Wings of Night shall come to you. Or at least their parents will give them away.

The largest egg on mountain high will give to you the wings of sky. Unless you're a Rainwing of course.

For wings of Earth, search through the mud for an egg the color of dragon blood. But Icewing blood is BLUE, what if you stuck an Icewing egg in the mud and said, "Ehh, close enough, you could call ice Earth."

And hidden alone from the rival queens, the Sandwing egg awaits unseen. Then HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND IT?! Oh wait, right, this is a book, of course this question will be answered easily, carry on.

Of three queens who blister blaze and burn, What convenient names!

Two shall die and one shall learn. She'll learn the power of friendship!

If she bows to a fate that is stronger and higher, she'll have the power of wings of fire. If you're gonna say that one of the queens is gonna win, why not hold up your prophecy reputation and say that Blister's gonna win? At least try!

Five eggs to hatch on brightest night, five dragons born to end the fight, Darkness will rise to bring the light, the dragonets are coming. Welp, bye! Hope you can survive that long!

…

Prologue

A dragon was trying to hide in the storm. Lightning flickered across the dark clouds. Hvitur clutched his fragile cargo closer. If he could make it over the mountains, he'd be safe. He'd escaped the sky dragons' palace unseen. W-what? B-but...HOW? That scene would have made for a much more interesting one than the one we got! How does he do that UNSEEN?!

And the secret cave was so close...

But his theft had not been as stealthy as he thought, and eyes as black as obsidian were already tracking them from below. How convenient that Burn just happened to be strolling through a ravine in the Skywing kingdom as Hvitur stole an egg, wait, make that extremely convenient.

The enormous dragon on the mountain ledge had pale gold scales that radiated heat like a desert horizon. Her black eyes narrowed, watching the gleam of silver wings far up in the clouds. How amazing would it be if Burn just passed that off as a shooting star?

She flicked her tail, and behind her two more dragons rose to the sky and dove into the heart of the storm. I guess Burn took someone with her on her walk.

A piercing shriek echoed off the mountains as their talons seized the moon-pale ice dragon. So he didn't even try to protect himself? Wow…

"Bind his mouth," the waiting dragon ordered as her soldiers dropped Hvitur on the slick, wet ledge in front of her. He was already inhaling, ready to attack. Too little too late, Hvitur.

One of the soldiers grabbed a chain from the pile of smoldering coals. How did that pile get there? Burn takes a pile of burning coal with her wherever she goes a well?

He threw it around the ice dragon's snout, clamping his jaw together with a sizzling smell of burning scales. Hvitur let out a muffled scream. That's not over the top at all…

"Too late." The sand dragon's forked tongue slithered in and out of her mouth. "You won't be using your freezing death breath on us, ice dragon." But we're not worried about your serrated claws, go ahead with those.

"He was carrying this, Queen Burn." said one of the soldiers, handing her a dragon egg. Doesn't he know she's not queen yet? Man, he's overconfident in who he's supporting.

Burn squinted at the egg through the downpour. "This is not an Icewing egg," she hissed, "You stole this from the Skywing palace." Wait, she didn't know that he had a Skywing egg? She could have been shooting down a random Icewing passing by!

The Icewing stared back at her. Hissing steam circled his snout where the hot chains met cold silver scales.

"You thought you got away unnoticed, didn't you?" Burn said. Wait, so she did know? Now I'm just confused.

"My Skywing ally is not a fool. Queen Scarlet knows everything that happens in her kingdom. Her lookouts reported an Icewing thief sneaking away, and I decided finding you might add some violence to my boring visit." So he wasn't unseen, it was just that no one decided to go after him. Also, Burn still carried a pile of burning coal with her for some reason.

Burn held the large egg up to the light of the fire and turned it slowly. Red and gold shimmered below the pale, smooth surface.

"Yes. This is a Skywing egg about to hatch," Burn mused. "Why would my sister send you to steal a Skywing dragonet? Blaze hates any dragon younger and prettier than she is." She thought for a moment as rain drummed on the ledge around them. "Unless...the brightest night is tomorrow…" Took you long enough!

Her tail flicked up like a scorpion's, the poisonous barb inches from Hvitur's eyes. "You're not in Blaze's army, are you? You're one of those insipid underground peacemongers." Big word insults in a small children's book. Speaking of which, why is a book series in which two people are murdered in the first chapter in the "Young Readers" section?

"The Talons of Peace?" said one of the soldiers. "You meant they're real?" How have you heard their name, but not whether they exist or not?

Burn snorted. "A few worms crying over a little blood. A LITTLE blood?

Unwrap his chains. He won't be able to freeze us until his scales cool down." There's still the problem of those serrated claws.

The enormous sand dragon leaned closer as her soldier pulled the chain away. "Tell me, ice dragon, do you really believe in the pompous old Nightwing's prophecy?" How in the world does she know Morrowseer?

"Haven't enough dragons died for your war?" snarled Hvitur, wincing at the pain in his jaws. Well, she hasn't, and she's the one leading one third of the war, so carry on.

"All of Pyrrhia has suffered for the last twelve years. The prophecy says-"

"I don't care. No prophecy decided what happens to me." Burn interrupted. How rude!

"I'm not letting a bunch of words or baby dragons choose when I die or what I bow to. We can have peace when my sisters are dead and I am the queen of the Sandwings." Her venomous tail dipped closer to the silver dragon. The enemy threatening to kill who might be useful to them.

Rain pattered on Hvitur's scales. He glared up ate her. "The dragonets are coming, whether you like it or not, and they'll choose who the next Sandwing queen should be." Hvitur has just ruined the chance for what he believes will happen to happen.

"Really?" Burn stepped back and turned the egg slowly between her talons. Her forked tongue slipped in and out of her smile. "So, Icewing. Is this egg a part of your pathetic prophecy?"

Hvitur went still. And now he realizes what he'd done.

Burn tapped lightly on the eggshell with one long talon. Burn just completely destroyed that dragonet's eardrums.

"Hello?" she called. "Is there a dragonet of destiny in there? Ready to come out and end this big had war?"

"Leave it alone," Hvitur choked out. Good luck with that, buddy.

"Tell me," Burn said, "what becomes of your precious prophecy...if one of the five dragonets is never hatched at all?" We get a Rainwing of course!

"You wouldn't," he said. You know perfectly well at this point that she would.

"No one would harm a dragon egg." His blue eyes were fixed desperately on her talons.

"No 'wings of sky' to help save the world," Burn said. "What a sad, sad story." She began tossing the egg from one front claw to the other. "I guess that means you should be very, very careful with this terribly important little - oops!"

With an exaggerated lunge, Burn pretended the wet egg was slipping through her talons...and then she let it fall over the side of the cliff into the rocky darkness below. Burn is a jerk to babies.

"No!" Hvitur shrieked. He threw off the two soldiers and flung himself toward the edge, Burn slammed her massive claws down on his neck. Burn has some lightning fast reflexes.

"So much for destiny." she smirked. "So much for your tragic little movement."

"You're a monster." the Icewing gasped, writhing under her talons. His voice cracked with despair. "We'll never give up. The dragonets-the dragonets will come and stop this war." Not the ones that were supposed to, though.

Burn leaned down to hiss into his ear. "Even if they do-it'll be far too late for you." Her claws ripped through the silver dragon's wings, shredding them as Hvitur shrieked in agony. With a swift movement, she stabbed her poisonous tail through his skull and flung the long, silver body over the edge of the cliff. Seriously, am i the only one who thinks this is a smidge too graphic for young readers?

The ice dragon's screams cut off long before the echoes of this corpse slamming into the rocks below. Hvitur must be fat if his body landing was that much louder than his screams.

The Sandwing turned her black eyes to her soldiers. "Perfect," she said. How is that perfect? If you interrogated him, then he could have revealed to you where the other dragonets of destiny were, or the Talons of Peace camp, dumb move by Burn.

"That should be the last we hear about that stupid prophecy." You wish.

She held out her talons so the rain could wash away the glistening dragon blood. "Let's go find something else to kill." What, an infant and an innocent weren't enough for you?

The three dragons spread their wings and lifted off into the dark clouds.

Some time later, far below, a large dragon the color of rust crawled over the rocks to the broken body of the ice dragon. She nudged his tail aside and lifted a shard of eggshell from underneath it, then slipped back into the labyrinth of caves under the cliffs. And no sorrow was given.

Stone walls brushed against her wings. She breathed out a plume of flame to light her way along the dark passage, deep into the mountain.

"I stand with the Talons of Peace," hissed a voice in the shadows. "Kestrel? Is that you?" So Webs didn't know she was going out for a minute?

"We await the wings of fire," answered the red dragon. A blue-green Seawing emerged from a side cave, and she tossed the eggshell at his feet. "Not that it'll do us much good now," she snarled. "Hvitur is dead." At least she's optimistic...wait...no she's not.

The Seawing stared at the eggshell. "But-the Skywing egg-"

"Broken," she said, "Gone. It's over, Webs." But we still have five books to get through!

"It can't be," he said. "Tomorrow is the Brightest Night. The three moons will all be full for the first time in a century. The dragonets of the prophecy have to hatch tomorrow." Wait, is the three moons being full even possible?

"Well, one of them is already dead," Kestrel said. Rage flickered in her eyes. "I knew I should have stolen the Skywing egg myself. I know the Sky Kingdom. They wouldn't have caught me a second time."

Webs grimaced, scratching one claw over the gills along his neck. "Asha is dead, too." Is this really the best time for this news?

"Asha?" A spurt of flame shot from Kestrel's nose. "How?"

"Caught in a battle between Blaze's and Blister's forces on the way here. She still made it with the red Mudwing egg, but she died of her wounds soon after." Well Asha's a trooper!

"So it's just you, me, and Dune to raise the little worms," Kestrel growled. "For a prophecy that can never be fulfilled, Let's break the cursed eggs now and be done with it. We'll be long gone before the Talons of Peace return for the dragonets." Kestrel is potentially a jerk to babies.

"No!" Webs hissed. "Keeping the dragonets alive for the next eight years is more important than anything. If you don't want to be part of that-"

"All right, enough," Kestrel snapped. "I'm the strongest dragon in the Talons of PEace. You need me. It doesn't matter how I feel about nasty little dragonets." Why is Kestrel willingly going on babysitter duty when she can guard the Talons of Peace camp?

She eyed the eggshell on the floor, rubbing her scarred palms together. "Although I thought at least one of them would be a Skywing." Now that's racist...tribist? Dragonist? I dunno.

"I'll find us a fifth dragonet." Webs pushed past her, scales scraping against rock.

"There's no way back into the SKy Kingdom, brainless," she said. "They'll be guarding the hatchery closely now." Then why doesn't the strongest dragon in the Talons of Peace get it?

"Then I'll get an egg somewhere else," he said grimly. "The Rainwings don't even count their eggs - I could take one from the rain forest without anyone noticing." Unless they shoot you with a sleeping dart of course.

"Of all the horrible ideas," Kestrel said with a shudder. "Rainwings are wretched creatures/ Nothing like Skywings." Now that's even more dragonist!

"We have to do something," Webs said. He hissed as his tail sent the eggshell skittering across the floor. "In eight years, the Talons of Peace will come looking for five dragonets. The prophecy says fice, and we're going to make it come true...whatever it takes." It takes almost everyone in your group dying. But you'll be fine.

…

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SIN COUNT...62

SENTENCE...GETTING THROWN OFF A CLIFF