Chapter 3 - Truths

His gaze sprang to her mouth, parted in annoyance and already readying another jibe. But any words caught in her throat and her breath hitched when his scrutiny of her face turned to something far more primitive, far more predatory. Passion and prudence huddled together, locked in a silent duel, as air expelled from his lungs in short puffs that tickled her face.

A second later lust was the victor and, smelling of tea and tasting of desire, his lips suddenly crashed against hers, tongue prising her lips to part further as he deepened the kiss rapidly. Hungrily, he attacked the inside of her mouth, her teeth, the rich velvet of her tongue. It was far from tender but thirsty and desperate. It was like a dam had suddenly burst inside him shattering any sense of cohesion or control. Such was his voracity it took her a second to respond in any fashion. Then, when her brain caught up on what was happening, she let go of his vest and looped her hands around his neck immediately, drawing him closer as her mouth instinctively reacted to the sudden assault on her lips. Her tongue joined his and they danced wickedly for seconds as she kissed him back. Wholly intoxicated, he moaned into her mouth and she let out a groan as he forced her further against the wall, his entire body flush with hers as they continued to drown in kisses.

They drew apart for air briefly and she stared at him, breathless, fearful he'd stop as quickly as he'd begun. "Damn it," he panted, shaking his head, a wild look in his eyes.

Then the devil appeared in them and stoked the hell fire raging in her belly, quickly assuaging her concern with his next words. "No, I'm not going to stop," he gasped as he caught his breath. He exhaled loudly and kissed her again unhurriedly, painstakingly, summoning a brief semblance of composure to make it tender and loving than hurried and frenetic. He withdrew his lips and his forehead fell upon hers as he shook his head again slowly. Quietly, "I should. For your sake, if nothing else. But somehow I knew that if I ever kissed you..." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, "If I ever allowed myself even that...that I wouldn't be strong enough to stop myself from wanting what might come after." He kissed her cheek lovingly as his voice broke. "I knew I'd want this too much."

He trailed a slow hot kiss down the side of her neck as passion battled to escape self-control once more. "I knew I would want you too much," he whispered.

She melted against him as he continued to kiss her neck. With each press of his lips to her skin, his restraint weakened and need increased. "I can't promise you a damn thing," he murmured desperately, his teeth grazing her enticing flesh until she whimpered. Urgently, against her collarbone, "You need to understand that before we go any further. You can stop this now. We can stop. It's not too late. Just tell me to stop and I'll drive you home and we can never speak of this again. But you need to be the one to say it, Lisbon. Because I cannot."

She closed her eyes and listened to his breathing, fast and hot against her collarbone, his lips less than a centimetre from her skin. She heard him swallow thickly like a starving man in need of sustenance, could feel the effort it took for him to control himself from indulging in tasting her. She could hardly accept that he was the same man from weeks before – the man who shunned her, pushed her away, toyed with her emotions.

Now she was all that mattered to him. Right now she was all he was thinking about.

She ran her fingers through his hair and his breathing stopped momentarily before he relaxed under her hand with a long calming breath. She stroked his cheek as she brought his face up to hers. She stared at him, eyes circling his features for a long second. "No, I don't want you to stop. I don't want us to stop," she responded fiercely. She kissed him and he kissed her back with a soft exhalation of want like he'd been waiting an aeon for permission to continue and not just a second or two. "And I'm not asking you for any promises, Jane," she added, her fingers at work casting the vest off his shoulders.

He looked at her again, narrowed his eyes as he openly read her. "You deserve better than this," he said with absolute seriousness as his vest hit the ground.

"You or this lousy motel room?" she smiled.

Solemnly, "Both."

Nevertheless, he reached over and slowly popped open the next button of her dress while he stared at her.

Her hands went to his belt buckle. "I really don't give a damn where we are."

She yanked the belt from his pants with a fast smoosh as it slid through the loops.

He popped another button.

"But...the other thing...you're that bad in bed, are you?" she asked with a smirk.

He grinned, popped another button.

And another.

A black lace bra was his prize. His right hand descended from her neck slowly, his fingers brushing over the gold cross she wore. "Hm. What do your instincts tell you, Teresa?" he hummed as his fingertips daintily trailed across the woven fabric of one breast in a leisurely lazy pattern. He kissed her as he continued to tantalise, barely touching her with every pass of his hand.

She arched her back, offering herself to his nimble fingers. "I-" she began.

Her head rocked forward again with a start as his other hand slipped between her thighs unexpectedly, its fingers firm and purposeful as it made its ascent. Unlike the near shy-like touches of her breast, they moved with precision and confidence.

Distraction, of course, the magician never too far away in him, she mused abstractly. Too busy focusing on what one hand was doing she had wholly forgotten about his other one.

The soft silk of her dress rode up to her upper thighs as he pressed the pad of his middle finger against her panties at the apex of her thighs. He grunted in satisfaction as he discovered the slick heat that greeted him. Pushing the damp strand of cloth to the side he slid his finger inside her quickly. She convulsed immediately and scratched his neck with her nails, her vaginal walls clamping around him as she bit down on her lip hard to stop crying out. He added another finger gently and curled them inside her, the coarse strip of pubic hair at her entrance soon covered in a silky film like gossamer thread as he pushed deeper then released, again and again, slow then fast. He kissed her with a low roar of content as more liquid velvet welcomed him. Caught up on the exquisite touches below she barely reacted to his lips on hers or the soft squeeze of her breast. She moaned and closed her eyes tightly as he added his thumb, circling the sensitive bud above in clockwise movements. Her cheek curled towards the wall, mouth set in a blissful O, as he continued.

Her head was only just turned away when his fingers left her breast and he tilted her chin to face forward again, coaxing her to look at him. She opened her eyes to find him watching her, studying every nuance and inflexion as he applied more or less pressure to her core, obvious of his reading of her, and determined on finding that sweet spot where she'd find her release.

He said nothing as he persisted with eyes dark as coal and holding her chin gently as he brought her closer and closer to falling over the edge. Somehow he sensed she was about to come undone before she knew it herself. His eyes reflected a spark of victory just before she buckled under his hand and cried out his name in a shallow sob as her forehead hit his chest.

He withdrew his hold on her and paused to fix her panties one handed before he supported her with a hand around her waist. He brought her mouth to his and kissed her affectionately.

"I always knew you'd want to watch," she said as soon as she could catch her breath to gentle kisses being placed on the top of her head as he held her flush against his body again, rocking her gently in his arms.

"Thought about me doing that to you often, have you?" he replied with some wonderment and a smug smile she knew was there but couldn't see.

She blushed brightly just as he took her face in his hands and stared at her with something close to awe. Tears pooled in his eyes as he kissed her again. "If it's any consolation I've thought about doing that to you very often, too."

Surprised, "You-you have?"

He laughed wickedly. "Meh. Just a few times." A long pause. "Probably less than two hundred."

She laughed and kissed him. For seconds they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed joyfully. Suddenly there were no barriers between them and nothing held back as they caressed and kissed. Her hands moved to his shirt, opening its buttons quickly. He moaned when she stroked the bare skin underneath, delicate caresses over the plane of his stomach, the golden hairs on his chest. He just held back a swear word when she trailed a fingernail over one of his nipples and she smiled into a kiss when she tweaked it and he shuddered. Her mouth left his to cover his neck, collarbone and chest in rapid tender pecks. Her hands wove around his back, nails creating red zigzag patterns over its smoothness as she kissed his front. His fingers got lost in her hair, massaging her scalp, as his head rolled back towards the ceiling before he closed his eyes and willingly gave up every other sense to focus entirely on the fiery sensations her lips and fingers provided.

But it wasn't long before he could no longer remain passive as the temptation for her flesh got the better of him.

She'd barely unzipped his pants when she was suddenly hoisted up by her ass, her back crashing against the wall beside the bed again as he lifted her. He pressed his body against hers as his mouth devoured hers again, his tongue wet and hungry with renewed passion and fingers squeezing into her ass cheeks hard as he held her in place.

Her arms circled his neck, holding onto him with her legs around his waist as she leveraged herself against the wall. She kissed his ear then bit down on it hard.

He let out a low growl as he attacked her lips again. She met every kiss with ferocity, sucked down on his lower lip until he moaned when she released it. Less effort required to hold her against the wall, he pulled at the material of her dress at her back, pulling it upwards in large handfuls until he arrived at the smooth skin of her ass.

"Christ," he grunted, kissing her again, his tongue fluttering against hers. "I've wanted to feel that forever."

She laughed playfully until he released one hand around her to discard his pants. She heard the sound of his boxers joining them at his feet, the impatient grunt as he kicked them away and the slight shift in his hold on her. He kissed her again as she felt the tip of his penis against the cotton at her core. He propelled her towards the wall again and drove his pelvis forward. She gasped and gyrated her hips, earning her a huff of sheer lust as he hardened against her. He did it again and then once more, quickly rock hard. A swift throbbing need in her groin made her cry out, "Jane, god, now!"

His hand firmly took hold of her left thigh and held her leg aloft as he centred himself at her core. A giddy smile washed over her lips as she kissed him. But just as she was certain he was about to enter her she sensed a quick change of heart. "No, don't you dare stop!" she said, almost in a frantic yell, as he dropped her feet to the floor again carefully. She panted breathlessly and lost her footing for a second until his hands held her in place again, sliding gracefully down her sides to steady her.

To her surprise, he grinned at her. "I already told you I have no intention of stopping."

He kissed her before she had time to reply, followed it with further kisses as he unbuckled her belt and threw it to one side. Nimbly, he cast the dress off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. He admired all of her for a second, his face lighting up with almost childlike wonder as he appreciated her curves and soft edges. He said nothing but simply kissed her again to make his delight clear before he removed her bra one handed.

He feasted on the hardened peaks of her breasts, showered them with attention for seconds. He moved lower, nuzzled the smooth skin of her flat stomach. Finally, he slid to his knees before her.

He pulled her panties off unceremoniously and she watched him avidly as her chest rose and fell rapidly, barely believing the sight in front of her was real. His eyes, dark with desire, flicked upwards to meet hers. He licked his lips and said nothing as he tasted her with the tip of his tongue. She let out a loud gasp and held onto his shoulders as her legs almost gave away again at the first swipe of his tongue. He smiled devilishly, grinned as he did it again like he was savouring the best ice cream he'd ever tasted.

"Jane!" she panted, one hand making its way to his hair and gripping it tightly. "I don't know if I can...again, I mean...I-"

"Yes, you can," he assured her. "Trust me, Lisbon," he added with a glint in his eye and a wink.

She laughed a tad hysterically then drew a sharp intake of breath when he hummed in appreciation as he suckled on her clit as he discarded his shirt. She banged her head against the wall again as she saw stars and mouthed another silent O as he became greedier and greedier with teeth and tongue.

"Look at me," he ordered gruffly a few seconds later as her head lolled against the wall as every nerve ending tingled in her body.

She drew her face back to him, fascinated and baffled, his words, tone and actions utterly at odds with the man she thought she knew for years.

He smiled then, more the man she knew taking the place of this wild stranger who was turning her on more than anyone ever had. He rubbed her clit slowly with the pad of his index finger to soothe her as he spoke, his voice low and hypnotic as the smile vanished. "You still think you mean nothing to me?"

He pressed a soft reverent kiss against the patch of hair at her entrance and breathed in her scent audibly before he looked up at her again. "Do you?" His voice cracked slightly. "Do you still doubt how much you mean to me?"

She breathed out, her heart caught in her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head slowly. Somehow she knew his actions this night and that this sexual act, in particular, was reserved only for women he loved. "N-No," she answered truthfully.

He nodded, satisfied. Then he stood up slowly and faced her again, surprising her utterly. She looked downwards, her core crying out to be satisfied again despite her earlier doubts, the heat inside her like a volcano, ready to explode again within seconds of him tasting her.

He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips, slow and sweet. Full of tenderness. Full of affection. Full of love. "Patience," he said against her mouth. "You really need to learn that lesson."

Then she was lifted off her feet again all at once in contradiction to his words of forbearance. He looked deep in her eyes as she held onto him again, one hand around his neck, the other gripped to his bicep. He licked his lips and opened his mouth as if he should say something but was lost for words. She saw a man not quite so confident now, not quite so certain of himself, anymore. She'd barely seen him since the day they'd met.

"It's okay, Jane," she said with a soft smile. "It's okay. No expectations. Of anything. Now. Or after."

He swallowed hard as he centred himself against her core and closed his eyes as he embedded himself inside her slowly. He let out a deep animalistic moan as her heat engulfed him, welcoming him and sucking him deeper and deeper inside.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her nails biting into his upper arm as she squeezed her eyes shut when he had filled her completely. "Jesus!"

He drew back only to thrust into her again, faster. And again.

He opened his eyes and kissed her as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Thrust. Kiss.

Thrust. Kiss.

Thrust. Kiss.

He sped up his movements, crashing into her with more abandon as she held onto him tightly, encouraging him with her pants of approval, her moans of lust, her nails turning his flesh red.

He rammed into her again and again with loud grunts, one hand moving to the back of her head to stop her bashing it against the wall as his movements turned more frenzied. His other hand held her up by her ass cheek, fingers digging into it with every deep penetration.

She wrapped both arms around his neck and clung onto him firmly as he increased the pace yet again, yelping softly with every hard thrust he produced upwards. Both his hands splayed across her backside as he kissed her as he continued, lifting her light weight easily as he drove himself inside her time and again, legs akimbo around his torso.

"Fuck, Lisbon," he growled against her mouth, her ever increasing slickness enabling faster and faster torrid movements.

The sound of him swearing like that as he uttered her name, something she thought he never did, so uncontrolled and passionate, made her eyes roll back in her head. She felt the first waves of orgasm take hold of her.

Jane's breath against her shoulder, ragged and sweltering hot, urged her on to ride it out, extend it. He nipped at her neck, scraped his teeth against her collarbone. With a guttural bellow, he swung her away from the wall and practically threw her on top of the bed, inside her still and thrusting wildly as hovered over her. She wrapped her legs around his waist to encourage him to go harder, deeper, her need to see him liberated, free of every emotion except lust surpassing any pain she might feel later.

Her moans stopped suddenly and her eyes flew open wide as the next wave hit her at breakneck speed. She opened her mouth but no sound came out as she wildly scratched his back, her heels pressed tightly against his backside. He drew his head back and pulled out of her, watched eagerly as she thrashed about below him. As her pants decreased he filled her again, thrusting roughly. Her eyes rolled back in her head again and she moaned loudly as he did it again. Three short bursts later he came with a roar of release.

M SCENE END

Breathing heavily, he rolled off her and to the side with limbs like jelly, afraid he might collapse on top of her. Incapable of speech he closed his eyes, panted furiously for seconds as every muscle in his body twitched. She turned her head as she caught her breath to see his chest rise and fall rapidly, rivulets of sweat littering the lines on his face, the matted hair on his chest. His curls, normally golden and tamed, were darkened and flattened. A single damp curl remained on his forehead. The transformation was complete from Jane, the unflappable, arrogant and sometimes irritating consultant, to Patrick, raw and utterly readable. To view him as he was now was both scintillating and intoxicating.

"You're not going to have a heart attack on me, are you?" she asked with a hint of a smile, recovering her voice before he did.

He grinned with his eyes closed. Between rapid breaths, "Not quite sure just yet."

Slowly, he moved to sit up on the bed a second or two later with a deep breath, glanced at her quickly as she lay naked sprawled over the bedspread. They both blushed and he looked forward again, moving the errant curl back from his face. He reached behind and stroked her knee gently with two fingers. Softly, "Uh...water? I'm parched." A short embarrassed laugh escaped him.

"Please," she responded in the same vein, "um, thanks."

He searched the floor for his boxers and put them on quickly, his back to her. "No problem, be right back. Just gonna...gonna use the bathroom first."

"Sure, of course."

As he closed the bathroom door behind him she reached over and grabbed some tissues and cleaned herself up quickly. "So much for not staining the bedspread," she said to herself, blotting some evidence of their lovemaking away. She disposed of the tissues and sat up quickly, her head immediately going into a spin. "Oh, god, maybe I was drunk." She looked at the clothes discarded on the floor in front of her. "Yep, definitely drunk. What the hell were you thinking, woman?" she said to herself. "He can't even look at you now."

She quickly grabbed her dress and threw it back on, shoved her bra and panties into the handbag she'd brought. She looked at the shoes that had caused her so much discomfort and grimaced. She stood up and fetched her belt and was just about to fasten it around her waist when Jane exited the bathroom. She sped up her movements to button up her dress as she heard his refrigerator door open and close.

"You're-you're leaving?!" he said in absolute shock when he re-entered the room with two water bottles to find her dressed.

She reddened and shrugged, "Uh..."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Softly, "That...that wasn't regret just now," he said, nodding towards the bathroom. "I just didn't...um..." He ran a hand down his face. "I-I just needed to collect my thoughts after..." He smiled to ease their joint awkwardness, "And my breath. I mean, seriously, woman, I really think I might have just had a mild cardiac episode."

She relaxed visibly and smiled back at him briefly. "I just don't know...I...uh...I don't know how to handle this. How...how you want me to handle this."

He walked towards her, took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it. "It's about how we handle it, not just me."

"Well, I don't know how to do that either like I said."

"Not running out on me in the middle of the night is as good a starting point as any, I'd suggest," he remarked wryly. "Not good for a man's machismo when a woman does that."

She blushed, "I just thought..."

He captured her lips. "Well, you thought wrong. I don't want you to go. So, will you stay?"

She nodded silently, taken aback.

He smiled fully. "Good." He nodded to her dress, "Take that off, I'll find you something clean to wear in bed. And drink some of that water."

As he went to fetch her a shirt she looked around the room as she took a long gulp from the water bottle. She was in unchartered territory now. They were in unchartered territory now. She wasn't good at this stuff – this personal stuff- and Jane was no better. His bossiness and joking around were simply his way of coping with the change of status quo between them too. In a way, it would have been easier for her to leave, to skulk off afterwards and never talk about what happened ever again. She could blame the booze, he could blame...her? Himself? But the fact he hadn't allowed her that easy way out surprised her. Was he just being kind because he felt he owed her at least that? Was this just a last hurrah, one crazy night together, before they said goodbye forever?

"Thinking that hard right now will only make your head spin," he said softly, suddenly appearing in front of her again with a freshly laundered shirt. "And after all that tequila earlier you don't need any more of that."

Startled she grabbed it off him quickly then looked at her dress. Her face flamed as he continued to stand opposite her. "Ah..." she started, looking at the shirt in her hands again and then at him.

He laughed, "Really? You're suddenly shy?"

"Jane," she said, attempting her best bossy tone. "Can't you at least pretend that this is kinda awkward?"

"Bathroom's free if you want to get changed," he responded with a sunny smile.

When she returned he was in bed, bare chested and staring at the ceiling with his hands joined behind his head. He glanced towards her, arching an eyebrow at his shirt on her. A faint recollection of Lorelei wearing one too not that long ago hit him - but not for long. He didn't want to waste a second longer on that whole debacle when he had Teresa Lisbon to stare at instead. He felt the hunger for her again renew at the sight of her shapely calves, her hair cascading over her breasts, wild curls framing her face. Pale and freckled her cheeks flushed as she drew back the covers and got in bed.

"So," she said, lying down and mirroring his position.

"So," he replied.

They lay together in silence for a moment. "I thought you wanted to talk or something," she said when she couldn't take the quiet after less than three seconds.

He turned on his side to face her. "Are you always this chatty in bed?"

"I sleep alone most nights so I'd say not," she bristled with an eye roll.

"Hey," he said softly, "look at me."

She swallowed and turned to face him.

"It's gonna be okay, alright? You don't need to freak out."

"I'm not-"

She sighed and licked her lips. "Okay, I am. How come you're not?"

He shrugged, played with the cuff of the sleeve of the shirt she wore. "I already had my freak out in the bathroom afterwards."

"You-you did?"

"Mhm-mm."

She smiled faintly. "What did you do?"

He smiled. "Hyperventilated, almost cried, washed my face, sat down, stood up, paced a little back and forth. Pretty standard freak out, I think, I'd put it at a level seven out of ten, maybe."

She laughed. "You have a rating system for freak outs, do you?"

"Well, I do now," he grinned.

She relaxed visibly and sighed audibly. "This is weird, right?"

"I think if it wasn't then that would be weird." He moved closer and kissed her softly. "But okay for weird, right? Not terrible weird."

She kissed him back. "I guess."

He blushed suddenly, "Um...look, I didn't...I don't quite know how to ask this but...but I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Huh?"

He coloured further. "When we...uh...well, when I..." He rolled his eyes. "Christ, I didn't exactly hold back, did I?"

She chuckled. "I didn't exactly discourage you to, did I?"

"Even so-"

"Jane, I'm a big girl. Don't be silly."

He nodded, his lips pressed in a firm line. Seriously, "I'm not usually that...well, it's been some time...with anyone who matters, anyway, and I...just lost myself-"

She kissed him tenderly. "Stop fishing for compliments. It was great and you know it was great."

He grinned. "Yeah? Best you ever had, huh? Is that what you just said?"

She laughed and whacked him on the arm.

"Ow! I already have scratches everywhere! Go easy, will you?!"

She giggled as he drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you," she said quietly after a moment, her head on his chest.

He rubbed her arms soothingly. "For the best sex of your life? My pleasure."

She laughed then quietened again, "For this...for...making it easier afterwards. For now. For making everything feel less uncomfortable and more normal again, somehow. Even though we are in bed together and that's not normal at all."

"Hm. Just delaying the inevitable, really."

She looked up at him. "Hm?"

He stroked her cheek. "Well, we do have to talk about it, Teresa. It-it has changed things between us. Significantly."

She shook her head. "It doesn't have to, Jane. We can just...we can just go back to how things were before."

"Doubtful. Although you no longer working for the CBI means change enough all on its own." He expelled a long dispirited breath.

She rested her head back on his chest again as he stroked her back. "You never did answer my question, you know," she said quietly.

"It still needs answered? You never hear of actions speaking louder than words?"

When she didn't respond he tilted her chin towards his face. Softly, "All right. The more he waits..." He drew a deep breath, "the longer he waits to come after you the more he knows I'll-I'll fall in love with you. Hence the harder it'll hit me when he finally takes you away from me."

She blinked rapidly as her breathing sped up. He smiled softly at her surprise. "Really? It needed saying that I love you? I've told you that before, anyway."

"And then you took it back. Said you didn't remember."

"Okay...but you also know me. You really think it likely I'd forget I said something like that? You know I wouldn't. But I was hyped up when I said it and it did just...well, it slipped out, I suppose."

"So it was easier to pretend you didn't remember?"

He shrugged. "Yes. And you looked like a deer caught in the headlights when you asked me about it. And relieved afterwards when I pretended I hadn't recalled saying it. We both weren't ready to discuss it. Not then."

"I'm not sure we're ready to discuss it now, either."

She relaxed back in his arms again with a long sigh.

"So that's your solution? We pretend tonight didn't happen? That I didn't just admit that to you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's easier, isn't it?"

He pecked the top of her head. "You wouldn't have wanted me to say the words so much if that was what you really wanted to happen."

She nodded and sighed. "Maybe. But I don't see how we can make this work, either, Jane. You're still going to go after him, he's still your number one priority, isn't he? One night of great sex isn't gonna change that. I'm not delusional."

He puffed out a long breath. Quietly, "Yes, I am and I guess...yes, he is."

"Thank you."

He scoffed, "What the hell are you thanking me for? I've just-"

"You were honest with me." She rolled over and faced him again, hands on his chest. "All I've ever wanted is your honesty, Jane. And you just gave it to me. Do I wish that it could be different? Sure, maybe, I don't know. Or maybe if you said you were willing to give up on the idea of killing him or going after him for me then I'd be the one run who'd run for the hills. I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship with you or anyone else and I sure as hell know you're not. Maybe tonight and this time together was all I needed. Maybe this was all we needed. Just to feel close to each other, to...express ourselves for once without being afraid. To be truthful with how we feel for once. I think...I think that's enough for me. Enough for us. Don't you?"

His voice cracked as he kissed her, "You're amazing, you know that. I-I don't tell you that often enough."

She raised both eyebrows. "I don't think you've ever told me that in your entire life."

He chuckled softly. "Then let me rectify that. You, Teresa Lisbon, are-"

"Yeah, yeah, all right, no need to go overboard, Shakespeare."

He slipped his arms around her waist and rested his fingers across her back. "Why are you really going to work for Haffner? And don't give me any of that bullshit about more money and benefits. You've worked in the Public Sector too long to care about those things. You would have jumped ship years ago if you did."

When she said nothing he added, "Honesty, remember? Like you want from me."

"Okay, okay. A few reasons."

When she paused again he said softly, "It's okay, I know I'm the main reason you're leaving. You don't need to be afraid to voice that. My question is...why now, in particular? Because of Vegas, Lorelei?"

Easier to discuss while not looking directly at him she withdrew from his arms and lay on her back beside him again, drawing the covers up to her chin. "Opportunity just came up a couple of weeks back."

"But you've had similar opportunities before. And I very much doubt the notion of working with Haffner is any more appealing than they were."

She looked at him, puzzled. "How did you know I had job offers before this one?"

His eyes glinted mischievously. "I didn't until now. Not for sure. But stands to reason one of the fat cats we've met on our crime solving travails would have tried to poach you." He paused and shrugged, appearing nonchalant, "Like...say...Walter Mashburn, for example...I'm sure he wanted you."

As he expected a flush covered her face and neck immediately. "Wh-at?!" she almost choked.

Affably, "Mashburn. He'd have loved to have got his hands on you on a more full-time basis. Really explore your potential. Poor man only received a short taste of what you're truly capable of. I'm sure he wanted more, a fool if he didn't." A long pause. "For one of his companies, I mean, of course. Security...or internal investigative matters, something along those lines."

She narrowed her eyes at him as she attempted to determine the meaning behind his words, hidden or otherwise. She decided to let sleeping dogs (and charming billionaires) lie. Firmly, "I thought we were discussing Haffner."

Cheerfully, "Go on, then."

She let out a long sigh to ready herself. She spoke quietly with gravitas. "I wasn't sure I could watch it anymore."

When she didn't immediately elaborate he turned to face her and read her instead. Sadly, "Me, you mean, when you say 'it'?"

She nodded, grazed her lower lip with her teeth as she frowned. "You have no idea what it's like, Jane. To be on the other side and watching someone..." She swallowed and shook her head, "watching someone you care about sink lower and lower into the dirt. To feel helpless to help them. To have them push you away instead, to disregard you, to show...to show nothing but disdain when all you want to do is help make things better."

He closed his eyes, "Lisbon...I-"

Louder, "Maybe if I hadn't already experienced something similar in my life already then I'd be more equipped to deal with you. Or maybe that's why I've been able to deal with you until now. But when you feel like the other person is barely hanging on...who is willing to do anything to quench their addiction...to excuse any behaviour because of it..." A tear rolled down her cheek, "I began to wonder if I was doing more harm than good. Both to myself and to you. That maybe someone else...someone not so invested in you could manage you better than I could. And maybe that makes me a coward, I honestly don't know. I just know I couldn't stand the idea of failing someone I cared for. Not again."

Caught off guard by her sincere honesty Jane took a second to respond and instead watched her as she continued to stare at the ceiling than chance a glance at him. "I'm sorry," he said, injecting as much earnestness into the words as he could. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you lately. Truly, I am. But please believe that I couldn't have come this far without you, Lisbon. You've already given me so much and you don't owe me a thing. I'm the one in debt here, not you. And perhaps it is too late for me. Perhaps it's too late for me to gain salvation, redemption. But I do know this – if anyone can help me find it then it's you. Whether you're in my life every day from this point on or not."

She blinked quickly and turned her head. "Really?"

He nodded as he swallowed. "Really. You haven't failed. Not then and not now. It's not your fault what selfish actions other people choose to take. And I am sorry that those actions sometimes have the propensity to hurt you. Despite recent appearances, I do mean that."

"It's not like I don't know what you're doing, Jane. You think by pushing me away Red John will lose interest in me."

Troubled, "That's the hope. Even if it is a distant one."

"Now we won't be working together anymore do you think you can stop pushing me away?"

"I guess I can l try. Assuming you didn't mean what you said and that you still want to see me occasionally."

"Of course, I do. We're...friends, aren't we? I-I don't want to lose that." Her gaze strayed the rumpled bedsheets around them. "This won't...this won't change that, will it?"

He smiled. "If there are two people in the world who can pretend nothing happened tonight – if that's what you're saying you really want – then I'd say that was us."

"True," she agreed with a small smile.

"And you'll only keep worrying for my sanity if you don't check up on me every now and then. That martyr complex of yours is quite a doozy. And-and the last thing I want is never to see you again. In any capacity. I don't even want to envision that future."

She sighed. "It's not just you, Jane, not just because of you I think that leaving the CBI is for the best. It's me too. When I got stabbed the other week you were right. I was distracted thinking about our fight and whether I should call you or not call you to help with the case. And that wasn't your fault like I said before. I'm supposed to be the professional one here and not allow personal feelings to get in the way of cases. But I did. I was lucky that, on that occasion, the damage was minimal. But what would happen if we got into it again, I started to think. What if I got so annoyed or frustrated or...riled up someone else ended up getting hurt? What if it was Cho...Rigsby...anyone else...you, even? Or what if I mess up the Red John case somehow because I'm too overprotective of you? What if I can't stop myself from interfering or thinking I know better? What if we fight even more and break what we have entirely? What if I can't stand back and watch you kill him? What if I arrest him and you hate me for it?"

She breathed deeply. "There are so many ways this could go south for us. And-and you mean more to me than he does so it's better I'm not in the fray with you right now. Not until you call and ask for my help. And damn, I hope you do that the day you find out who he is, I really do. I know I'm most likely going to be bored out of my skull working with Haffner but I'll take that if it helps you and it helps the team. And it might even help me too to put some distance between us right now workwise."

He nodded, "I can't promise I'm going to be any way reasonable until I catch him...so maybe...maybe you leaving is for the best. To preserve what we have currently."

He frowned when he saw her eyes dart back and forth. "What else?" he pressed.

"Hm?"

"There's another reason you accepted Haffner's position. Something you're not sure you want to tell me."

"How did you...? Damn, okay...but it has nothing to do with you. Not personally. Not-not really. Not with what's been happening between us lately."

"I still want to know what it is."

She exhaled loudly. "Okay. Working with Ray might actually help us in the long run, too."

Perplexed, "Us?"

She smiled faintly. "I don't mean in the romantic sense. I think we both know that we can't have another night like this. At least, not now. And maybe never again, who knows."

As he went to speak she held a finger up to stop him. "You know I'm right, Jane."

He nodded as he pursed his lips. Quietly, "It's too dangerous, I agree." His eyes roved over her slim form under the covers. "Regrettably."

She kissed him softly and nodded. "But we still have a few hours tonight once I'm done explaining why working with Haffner might be a good idea."

He quirked an eyebrow with a grin. "Then don't let me stop you. Keep talking, woman."

She smiled, "Okay. When Ray offered me the job I did some research on where he was getting his funding. He's worked at the FBI and the CBI and he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth so it was odd, you know, him suddenly opening up a place of his own. Unless he won the lottery I couldn't figure where he'd have the money for that never mind pay me a handsome wage. So I investigated. It took a little off the books digging...that was why I phoned in sick that day a few weeks back – I had to talk to some old contacts who were a few hours away – but I found out something pretty interesting. Something that might make the experience of working with him more appealing than at first glance. Kinda clinched it for me to accept the job offer."

Jane frowned, intrigued, "Oh?"

"Visualize is funding him," she explained triumphantly.

His face fell. "Visualize?"

"Uh-oh."

He shook his head. "Lisbon, why the hell?-"

"It's an 'in' into the organisation, Jane. Don't worry, I'm not about to have my mind brainwashed, I know what I'm doing. We both know they're more than a bit shady and we also know that Bret Stiles is somehow connected with Red John. There's a link there, somewhere, I'm sure of it. You know it, too. Maybe if I'm working there I can find it. It's worth taking the opportunity to find out."

He sighed, "We don't know anything for certain but you getting mixed up with that bunch of fruit loops-"

"Think logically, Jane. Haffner must be pretty high up the ranks for them to fund him."

"It's likely only to launder money for them, Lisbon. And their finances will be kept tighter than a drum."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, it's for money laundering purposes. But that means there's a money trail somewhere to be found. And I won't find out unless I actually work there." She grinned, "It's a start."

Perplexed, "A start for what, exactly?"

"Who knows? Al Capone was jailed for tax evasion, not murder, wasn't he? If I'm on the inside then perhaps I can find out more about their operation. Maybe I can pay Stiles back for almost blowing me up that day. Ray trusts me and if he thinks you and I are on the outs when I leave the CBI he'll be more amenable to showing me a better...path...true enlightenment...or whatever other claptrap might come out of his mouth-"

"He'll also make a pass at you when you begin working there, you do realise that." He failed to keep the jealousy out of his tone.

She smiled, "So you are jealous?"

"Am not," he huffed. He cleared his throat, "But...just how far are you willing for things to go, exactly?"

"I'm not going to sleep with him if that's what you're asking. Nor am I going to be indoctrinated. But, anything else, well, I'll see how it goes. I'd imagine Stiles will show up in my first week to understand why I left the CBI and if I have an ulterior motive for working there."

"I don't want you any closer to him than Haffner, to be honest. And he'll most likely see right through you, Lisbon. You're a terrible liar."

"Well, it's not your call what I choose to do, Jane. Just like I can't stop you from doing things I don't want you to do either. And you can help make me a better liar and figure out what approach Stiles will take and what my response should be. That'll help sell it."

"Teresa, this is reckless for most likely no return. You've given up your future with the CBI-"

"I already told you why it's better I leave, Jane-"

"Because of me-"

"Because of me, too. Not just you. But this opportunity is something positive that might come out of it."

He shook his head. "I don't like this. Not at all."

"Why do you think I wasn't going to mention it to you?"

He sighed. "I'm in two minds whether this helps with Red John or doesn't. Maybe he'll see you as more expendable if we're not actually working together."

"Didn't work out that way when you were in Vegas, did it? So why would us working across town from each other be any different?"

He nodded, fractionally placated. "Hm." He paused, "You know, I really thought you came here tonight to get me to persuade you to stay at the CBI. Shows you're not quite so translucent as I thought, huh?"

She moved closer and kissed him slowly. "Maybe I just came here for your body instead."

He kissed her back. "Mmm. Maybe you did. Although it did take you being a few sheets to the wind to build up the courage."

"Serves you right for not going to the bar to stop me, then. Besides, you started this, not me."

They kissed as his fingers danced on her hipbone. "Well, perhaps that was always my plan – that I wanted you to come here for this instead."

She laughed and trailed a fingertip over his bicep. "You're good at reading people but not that good."

He pulled her closer. "No?"

They kissed languidly for seconds. "You'll be careful?" he said, drawing back for air. "Promise me you'll be careful working and investigating there. You won't have backup like at the CBI. And that if you find out anything that might lead to Red John you'll tell me first."

"I will, I promise. As long as you will do the same."

She stared him down for an answer.

He nodded eventually. "Okay. Okay, I will."

"Promise?"

He rolled his eyes. "I swear."

"Okay."

He wrapped his arms around her. "You know, just thinking off the top of my head here, perhaps we should meet up on occasion just to discuss developments from both sides."

She smiled against his chest. "Privately, you mean?"

"Naturally. Can't be too careful." He ran his hands up and down her arms.

"Out of town maybe once a month or so, something like that, you mean?"

"Fortnightly I was thinking. Would have to be somewhere quiet, off the beaten track, of course. Can't have prying eyes if we're discussing Visualize or Red John."

She glanced up at him. "Absolutely. Fortnightly? You sure you can spare the time with all your list writing?"

He winked at her. "Believe me, I'll make time."

She grinned and kissed him. "You sure?" she asked a second later, more soberly. "I really don't want whatever this might turn out to be to get in the way-"

He kissed her. "I'm selfish. I want both. You and him. I have no idea how we really make that happen but I know enough to know that one night with you is not nearly enough."

Meekly, "I was afraid to ask for more."

"I know. And that's another reason I love you."

She kissed his chest as a response as she blushed.

He put his arms around her and held her close as he spoke to the top of her head. "And no matter the outcome with Red John it is not your doing or your fault. On the contrary, if I survive it then it will be because of you. You need to know that you have made these years not just palatable or easier - you have made me want to live them, Teresa."

She shook her head as her breath hitched, "But Red John-"

Determinedly, "Searching for him makes me need to live them. But you make me want to live them. Understand?"

She nodded mutely as a tear ran down her cheek as she closed her eyes, his warm welcoming arms wrapped around her.

They had no idea what the future would hold but, even when they parted the following morning, they both knew they were facing it together once again. As partners.

- THE END -

A/N: Thanks again for all the wonderful comments to this short fic, I'm truly overwhelmed so many of you enjoyed it. As I've left this universe open I may well write a sequel at some stage in the future. But thanks again, in any case.

Apologies for delays in updating my other fics as I worked on this one but a Broken update is my next priority.

And a quick shout out to all the lovely Mentalistas I met in Amsterdam last weekend, it was a pleasure meeting you all in person at long last!