Dear Moony,

There's no telling HOW late I am writing this letter. Of course, I could say I didn't have a chance to write it sooner, but to be honest: I didn't even consider it. Turning my back on the world seems only legit, if you're looking from the window of Cell 390. But you have always been my best friend, and now you're my only friend alive.

In short: even if I am guilty in James and Lily's death, it's not how it seems. I indeed betrayed them, but it wasn't with my knowledge. Wormtail persuaded me that, as secretkeeper, I made myself an obvious target, and he offered to take the secret from me, so that even if I'm caught by V..., Prongs and his family would be safe.

But that's not my only guilt. He could persuade me because I was willing to believe. I was willing to believe that you, you of all people, would join the deatheaters. He even pointed out details that convinced everyone we had a mole in the inner circle. Too late did I realize it was his own work, not yours. Such a despicable Slytherin way of thinking. I should have known you would never betray the Phoenix, or us, I should have known but I didn't. See? It took me almost twelve years to realize how stupid I was.

Moony, that's still not everything I need to apologize for. After I found them dead, I still didn't tell you about the swap. I should have apologized to you, back then, at least immediately after your innocence was proven. Instead, I went after Peter, blinded by rage, oblivious to any circumstances... You... Or the muggles standing too close.

So here I am, surrounded by dark wizards again, what's worse: my family again (my cousin Bellatrix is three or four cells away) and every day I'm reminded of my treason. I betrayed everyone who ever truly trusted me. I can't ask James to forgive me, and you have absolutely no reason to. I turned my back and that's inexcusable. But I want you to know that I deeply regret everything that happened, and everything I've ever done to you. I remember you as the kindest person I met, and someone whose friendship I never deserved.

Please, please forgive my misjudgement and continued stupidity toward you. And know that your understanding of me matters more than anything else in the world, even if you don't accept my apology. Don't feel compelled, you don't have to. I know my remorse hit me far too late.

If you've read this far, you've wasted more time on me than I deserve. Thank you.

Please take care of Harry for me. Teach him some mischief when time comes.

Yours,

Padfoot

P.s. If you want to reply, you don't need magic-bearing ink to write the cell number. It's enough if you bite a corner off the envelope, the dementors will know it's for me.