Disclaimer: I don't own Free!
Chapter 4
The siren song that Rin seems to be singing and the sea song entwine until they're one. It's a wave of emotion and longing creating a storm of passion. It feels like Haru is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders just by walking around these days. The stones for his drowning have already filled his pockets- he can feel the burden pulling on his clothes, even if they aren't there yet.
To his surprise, their presence is a comfort.
Though Makoto is usually good about giving Haru space, he has been hovering over him the last few days. He keeps reaching out. Almost touching Haru, but not quite. Brows furrowing and trying to keep Haru in sight as long as possible. It's so subtle that Haru wouldn't even have noticed if he hadn't know Makoto so well.
It's like Makoto can sense that Haru is going to disappear any second now, so he tries to hold on with a desperation that's not like him at all. Haru knows that he's the one driving Makoto to this utter madness, but he wants to turn away and simply not see it. But it's never been that easy. Makoto flinches every time Haru withdraws, looking down and burying his hands in his pockets in a terribly awkward manner. It makes Haru's chest feel tight the way the song holding his ears captive doesn't anymore.
So he walks with Makoto every day, slowly seduced by the lapping of the waves. He can almost hear the quiet splashes his first steps into the water will make, but he walks beside the only friend he's ever had silently. His only friend besides Rin, of course, but Rin is different. If that wasn't clear by now, then nothing would be.
It all comes to a head on a summer evening. The air is moist, the kind that makes it hard to breathe. It lies over Iwatobi like a heavy blanket, covering the entire town and slowly suffocating it. The sun is bright and most people fled the streets hours ago.
Haru and Makoto are in the Tachibana's backyard. The wood of the picnic table is rough beneath Haru's thighs- he's only wearing his swimsuit. Makoto already gave up on getting him to wear more clothes earlier that day.
The popsicle feels cold against his tongue, a welcome relief from the heat. It's melting too fast, though. It hasn't been out of the freezer for more than two minutes and his hands are already sticky from the sugary water running down the sides.
The crinkling sound of plastic being crushed makes him look up. Makoto sits there, his whole body tense, lips tight, his fist is clenched around the wrapper of his popsicle, knuckles white.
''Why can't you just be happy with what you have?!''
It hangs in the air between them.
A bird tweets in the distance, and Haru can hear the rustling of the leaves of the camellia shrubs Makoto's mother cherishes so much. The grass in the yard is dead, but the plant is still flowering. The delicate petals of the red-pink blooms remind him of Rin.
Rin is everywhere Haru goes- even if it is only in his own thoughts. It would probably drive him crazy if it was in his nature to struggle against such thing. But it's not.
Just like his longing for the sea song, his love for Rin has become an everlasting part of his soul.
''I can't change the motion of the ocean.'' Fighting against things that are never going to change is futile.
Makoto lowers his head slowly, shoulders hunching and arms pressed against his sides.
''I just…'' his voice is small, his seemingly too-big hands fiddling with the edge of his shirt as he looks down, ''wanted this summer to last forever.''
He raises his head, a sad smile bordering on a bitter grin on his face as green eyes meet blue. ''But I guess that's just not possible, isn't it?''
Something in Haru contracts. He raises his hand to somehow comfort Makoto, even though he has no idea how to do that.
He never gets that far, though, because he's interrupted by the loud creak of the garden gate being thrown open.
Ran runs into the garden, stumbles and falls, hair falling all around her, her breathing violently fast.
Is she hyperventilating?!
Makoto has already gotten up, ready to deal with a scraped knee, when Ran pushes her hair out of her face like it's seaweed she's tangled in, eyes desperate and pleading.
''Onii-chan!'' She tries to get up, but she's trying to do everything at the same time and falls down again. Makoto quickly helps her up, but she's shaking all over. She holds onto Makoto's arm, and even to Haru it's obvious that it must be a vice grip at Makoto's grimace.
''Ren and I, we had a fight! And… And…'' she's sobbing now, and it's preventing her from talking. That only makes her cry harder. Her face is red and her nose is runny. Crying children are never pretty- but Haru's too concerned about her to think about that.
''He stormed off in the direction of Nanase river!''
Haru doesn't need to see the blood in Makoto's face draining away because he can feel exactly the same thing happening to his own. The river might not hurt those who bear the name of the seven rapids, those who bear the curse, but it certainly will take the life of little Ren Tachibana if he gets too close to the riverbank.
The idea of the boy's small body being devoured by the rapids, the light slowly leaving his brown eyes as he is dragged down by his heavy clothing and taken to the sharp rocks on the bottom of the river where he will be ripped apart makes Haru recoil.
Before he's even got the chance to think, he's on his feet. God, don't let them be too late. Let Ren, small Ren, who was just a baby yesterday, still be safe and sound. And most of all, far, far away from the river.
The pounding of his feet is a background noise, and he's still not running fast enough, but he can't push his legs to go any quicker. They're burning already and it feels like fire in his veins, but he doesn't care.
He can almost see Nanase river, but Makoto is in front of him, blocking the view and- A piercing scream leaves Makoto's mouth.
Haru knows what's happening before he sees it- Makoto freezing at the sight of Ren slipping down the river bank, white trousers smearing with mud.
Haru throws himself towards the edge, pebbles digging into his skin, but it's too late. Ren has already hit the water, and Haru's hand only grasps straws as the current drags the boy with it.
The sound of the rushing water is deafening and it melds together with his heartbeat. It's louder than anything he's ever heard before. The cold dirt beneath his body is seeping into his swimming trunks, and his chest is slick with mud. It rises and falls abnormally fast.
The sudden clarity of the moment is stunning in the chaos.
Haru is content with dying in the arms of the waves, drifting down as bubbles leave his mouth, slowly losing oxygen as he becomes one with the sea.
He belongs to the ocean, but being separated from it until their death is the punishment that the Sea God gave to all the Children of the Sea who were tainted with the blood of the selfish fisherman. Haru hates that blood, but his grandmother possessed it too and he did love her. His heart is so painfully human, despite loving a creature of the sea.
Makoto is still petrified, wide eyes staring down at the surface of the whitewater. Haru gets to his knees, staring at his hands. There are no webs between the fingers. He looks at his feet. Human. But these feet have stood upon the stepping stones in Nanase river, have passed the seven rapids without a single drop of water wetting them.
He is the only one who has a chance of saving Ren and he'll be damned if he doesn't try. One of these days, the water is going to take him anyway. It might as well happen while he's not throwing his life away in vain.
He stands up, closes his eyes and raises his arms above his head. He inhales, breathing in the heavy air and jumps, using all the power he has in the legs he has cursed for years.
He breaks the surface of the water, the water slamming into him, folding around him and then swallowing him whole. It's not silent underwater. The water beats against his ears, against his body and his lungs. It doesn't want to let him go.
The sea song is there, and so is the siren song. It spirals around him in tighter and tighter circles, light and heavy at the same time. The notes voice so much longing and sing of peace, storms and chaos. Of places where no line is straight and the light of day cannot reach. Of eternal movement, of red hair and a bright grin, of a mouth against his own and scales as hard as metal pressing into his skin.
For the first time in his life, Haru resists. He pushes against the door in his mind until it closes, inch by inch, and locks it thrice. The song pounds into it like a battering ram, demanding entrance. He refuses to listen to it and something in his mind screams: LEAVE ME ALONE! As he puts all his body weight into preventing it from opening again.
Because Ren Tachibana is a child with lungs that need oxygen, and the sea can't have him.
Suddenly, it's quiet, but Haru doesn't give it a single thought, because right at that moment, his hand cuts through the water and closes around Ren's arm. He drags the boy to the riverbank, the water no match for his will when he has something so precious in his arms.
Makoto is finally moving again and pulls Ren up, tugging him against his chest while sitting on the grass. He's crying, running his hands all over Ren to make sure he's fine. The boy is crying just as loudly, his face blotchy, and clinging to his brother's arms. His hair is sticking to his skull and his soaked clothes are drenching Makoto too, but neither of them pays it any mind, far too glad to be alive.
Haru has heaved himself up by that time, breathing becoming more even, and all he can think is: Thank god.
It's quiet. Terribly, terribly quiet. An alien sensation for someone whose world has never been silent before.
Haru stands up and stares at the water. It doesn't sing. There is no rippling aria attempting to ensnare him, but something surges within him nonetheless. But he doesn't have to listen to that urge if he doesn't want to.
It's a choice now, and Haru knows what to do.
He turns back to Makoto and Ren one more time. His eyes glide over brown hair, soft skin, big hands and a face that holds the gentlest smile he has ever seen. He loves Makoto, he really does, but he has the blood of the fisherman in his veins, and he's almost as selfish as his ancestor. Almost, because he might be leaving Makoto behind, but he was willing to give up the sea song for Ren. There was no guarantee that he would get it back.
Ignoring the sea song in order to save the life of another means that there's something more important to him than his own selfish desires.
And that might just be enough.
The corner of his mouth tugs up.
("But curses can be broken, right?"
His grandmother nods and leans forward. "But this particular curse can only be defeated when the cursed children leave the sea song behind. Only then they can become one with the sea.'')
He turns and dives into the water, the river welcoming him in its embrace. This time, it pushes him forward, caresses his skin as he rushes through the seven rapids without hesitating even once. The rocks on the bottom of the river are blurs in his vision as he turns and he twists and feels something change.
And it rises and rises within him, his heart beating faster and faster, because this is it, this is what he has been waiting for all his life. This is it and it's happening.
As it reaches its peak, he bursts into the open ocean, current matching the speed of his body, and he gives in.
There is calm.
There is quiet.
There is nothing, but the sound of the overflow within him. He spreads his arms, bares his neck towards the surface above him, body arched upwards.
He breathes.
And he is what he was meant to be. A part of the sea, salt water in his body as if it's air, legs melded into one, his seal-skin in the place that was so painfully empty before.
For the first time in his life, Haruka Nanase is free. And he knows exactly what he wants to do with that freedom.
And Rin is there, watching him with eyes as big as saucers, somehow there at the exact moment Haru needs him to be. Rin's mouth is hanging open, not believing what he is seeing, though he need not gasp for air when he's underwater and he has the gills just above his ribs to breathe.
The moment is the kind of wild, free thing that does not need words. It speaks, sings its own song.
Haru smirks and propels himself forward with a single movement of his powerful tail, parting the water effortlessly, and grabs the dazed Rin.
He drags Rin down- he is the stone in his pocket, the weight that he himself placed there. It's an instinctual reaction- drown or be drowned, and yet it has another meaning entirely. Drown in me, Rin's eyes scream, beg, shout- Sunset red that sings his heart out.
Haru tightens his hands- webs between his fingers- around Rin's shoulders in reply, nails digging into his skin. Rin snarls, shark teeth visible even in the darkness of the deeper parts of the sea, and tries to make a grab for Haru instead. He's unable to break Haru's hold and keeps struggling, but he's not unwilling.
It's a fight. It's a struggle for dominance and all the words they don't have the time to utter- but as Rin's back touches the ocean floor, Haru knows.
This is forever.
They have time now.
It is everything he ever wanted and more.
Two weeks after Haru's disappearance, Makoto throws a message in a bottle into the churning waters of Nanase river.
The next day, the mayor declares Haruka Nanase dead.
The only thing he wrote was: Be happy
In the end, the people of Iwatobi conclude that the Nanase boy, Haruka (How peculiar his parents named him; it's such a girly name for a young man), must have drowned in the sea, his body washed away by the waves.
They can't bury the boy, but they don't want the thought of his watery grave lingering in the darkest hours of the night, so they decide to put a headstone in the graveyard for him anyway.
They try to find a family member to put the boys grave next to, but despite the fact that the Nanase's have lived here longer than Iwatobi town has existed, they cannot find a single grave that sports the name. It's almost like they turned into sea foam, they laugh. But the joke falls flat and feels uncomfortably close to the truth.
Makoto grieves, even though he knows Haru isn't dead, for all he was swallowed by the sea. He knows he lost something. He was the land to Haru's sea, and will now have to learn how to live without him.
Haru isn't dead, but his grave isn't empty. A part of Makoto is buried there.
Decades later, the Nanase's and their curious habits are all but forgotten, only a vague memory in the minds of the elderly remaining. These days, the inhabitants of Iwatobi town talk about the Tachibana's and their quaint tales of siren songs, love and loss.
They're good natured, happy folks, though, and nobody minds a fantastical story on a drinking night in that strange little town by the sea. It's just a story after all- even if the little ones find glistening scales on the shore and the passer-by's swear they see people swimming in the river whenever the moon is full.
In Iwatobi, there is a river. The rapids aren't the only thing the children are warned about.
Authors note chapter 4
Hi, everyone!
This is the last chapter! Writing this was a lot of fun! I'm not done, though, because I'm still working on a companion story! I'll post it once I'm done! The summary is pretty much this:
Merpeople, unlike humans, know gods in human form. Sirens, in fact, have patron gods. Upon their fourteenth birthday, they must journey to the temple of their chosen god or goddess. Rin has dreamed of following his father's patron god ever since he was a little boy. But there is a reason his father was the shark god's last follower before he died by sacrificing himself in order to protect his family. The journey is incredibly long and so dangerous that most die before completing half of it. But he must go, because he has to see what meant so much to his father that he died for it.
She is his goddess, his god, his lady, his lord, she is the darkest depth of the ocean, she is the dream snatcher and wish giver. She is a shark, and he is hers. (He has heard her call for as long as he can remember- but there is another call that he must follow, and dream snatcher she might be, but she won't snatch his. He worships her.)
He goes back.
It will also feature Sousuke, Gou and Mikoshiba ^^
The selkies in the original story have only two forms, human (out of their skin) and seal (inside their skin). I made the mermaid-like half human, half seal form up because otherwise, the relationship was still going to be pretty hard to keep up with for Rin and Haru. Though I'm sure Haru wouldn't have minded being a seal if he'd been on his own.
The funny thing is that this story originally started with Haru being diagnosed with a chronic illness at a young age. That version would have ended with Makoto asking himself whether Haru had joined Rin in the sea, or if the people of Iwatobi were right with "The Nanase boy drowned, fooled by his hallucinations." Perhaps I would even have written a Makoto therapy scène.
I wrote this chapter while listening to What the Water Gave Me by Florence and the Machine and Salvatore by Lana del Rey. What the Water Gave Me was also my inspiration for a large part of the story.
I hope the story was clear- if it wasn't, don't hesitate to tell me! It only helps me become a better writer by knowing the weak points as well the strong points.
I hope you enjoyed it, and constructive criticism is always welcome!