A reviewer going by Tiamat asked me questions about the last chapter, and since I couldn't work the answers into the narrative, here's the Q&A:
Why did Renji convince him that they weren't just hallucinations? Because Renji was the first one he saw as more than black blurry splotches that could be from not getting enough air. Renji was definitely a person.
What was Ichigo doing in Manhattan for the battle? Isshin dragged his family to a medical conference hosted by Steven Strange for bonding time. Ryuken was there too.
Who thought Ichigo stalking Steve was a good idea? You guessed it. Kurotsuchi.
Why don't they like the ocean? Because it's too easy to forget which way is back to land. Since Ichigo can't summon a Senkaimon like a normal Shinigami, this is worse for him.
Why did Ichigo disappear when Bucky attacked? Because all the superhumans are being stalked, but there was no sign of a Shinigami watching this new guy. Ichigo went after him to see if he was really solo, find out where he was working from, and let Seireitei know that there was a new one. The last thing they want is a super dying unexpectedly and hollowfying. They also don't want Kurotsuchi getting his hands on one.
Why did he get so battle-ready in the underground data room? Because the computer did have some reiatsu, like a mod-soul.
Did Ichigo clue him in about Sam on purpose? No. Settling to the left was coincidence.
Why did Ichigo freakout and call for backup when they got the plan out of Sitwell?
Because if Hydra's plan went off, not only would his family and friends be in danger, but all the Shinigami Exiles and any Shinigami who came to earth in gigai from that moment on.
Why did he get that much backup? Because this was a threat to any Shinigami operating undercover on earth, and because whether or not Steve succeeded, there would be a lot of death. The Shinigami responded to send the ghosts on before there could be an outbreak of hollows drawn to the site.
Why was Ichigo so unhappy? Because if Steve couldn't win in time, Ichigo was supposed to vaporize the Hellicariers with a full power Getsuga Tensho. He understood why too. But he really didn't want to kill the people who were trying so hard to stop this.
Why was Ichigo helping? It was needed and he was mad. As long as Steve didn't catch him helping, it was fine.
Would Thor have known anything? No.
Why was Urahara calling at the end? Urahara has his own reasons, and they remain a mystery.
And now, on with chapter 2
"Damnit! We're losing ground!"
"Hang on Tony!"
"Sorry Rhodey, I don't think— What the hell?"
"What?"
"This blue wind thing just blew through and the batch that was on my tail is space dust."
"Blue wind?"
"That mean something Capsicle?"
"You could say that. I think… Yes! Ichigo's here."
"Your creepy invisible stalker. He's back?"
"What are you two talking about?"
"Steve's creepy invisible stalker just saved my ass, and… Looks like he's backup."
"What invisible stalker?"
"The invisible death god that's been stalking him. Or maybe he brought backup. Doesn't really matter, he's plenty backup on his own."
"….Death god?"
"Later Widow. There's more— never mind. He did bring backup. Look at them go!"
"Is that a little girl?"
"Looks more like a tiny pink haired demon. See how she just ripped that one's arm off and beat the other one to death with it?"
"Look at the bruiser squad. Are they— they are outdoing Hulk."
"An entire troop of Hulk. I want one."
"No poaching the afterlife's Hulk squad."
"Afterlife? Stark, Rogers, I want explanations! NOW! Why aren't you engaging?"
"Hold your horses one-eye. Capsicle's creepy invisible stalker brought the death gods and they're taking so many of the—"
"What the hell! Stark, tell me I didn't just see a freezing dragon."
"Sorry Legolas. It's definitely freezing things."
"Answers. Now."
"Sorry one-eye, but we're a bit busy and— oops. My com just got fried. Fury can wait."
"There's nothing wrong with it at all is there?"
"Don't tell Fury, Rhodey. Holy Shit! Are those flowers?"
"Looks like."
"How—"
"No idea."
"Whoa! How the heck—"
"No idea."
"That's the shopkeeper-scientist who came to Wakanda for Bucky!"
"He's a death god too? Nice hat. Seriously, why do you get all the death gods? Do they like you? Are you death-y?"
"I hope not."
"Will you two please explain? Fury's yelling over the com at me, and I don't have anything. God I hate being blind."
"Laser breath! The one with the mask has laser breath!"
"That one isn't breathing it. Looks like only the masked ones can do it."
"I really hope that's just a mask. Aww, why do the invisible death gods get all the cool things? Like firing lasers by pointing!"
"Death. Gods."
"Right, that's why. Thanks Widow."
"What. Death. Gods."
"Those death gods. The ones winning for us up there."
"I don't see them."
"I don't either."
"Wonder if Hulk sees them."
"He's not trying to smash them."
"Since they're smashing with him, he wouldn't anyway. He doesn't smash us. Oh look, more dragons!"
"Those, I see."
"Wonder why?"
"Ice is ice, even with reiatsu reinforcing it. Stay out of the way."
"Ichigo? Why— How?"
"Later."
"Aaand he's gone again."
"He is a most valiant warrior."
"You can see 'em too, point break?"
"Yes. Who are they?"
"Capsicle's creepy invisi— hey!"
"They're protectors of the restless dead."
"So, what's up with the bruisers and Hulk? You were closer."
"They appear to be adopting the Hulk. They welcomed him gladly into their battles, and the belled warrior wishes to teach him what he called proper fighting, when this is over."
"They're closing on Thanos, Wonder what—"
"…"
"…"
"… Holy shit."
"What? Stark, Rogers, what the hell are you two seeing!"
"I did see that, didn't I?"
"The big one, with the eye patch, and the hair-"
"He and Steve's creepy invisible stalker-"
"They just-"
She just walked up to Thanos and—"
"Uh-huh. She did."
"Will you please explain to those of us who're blind why Thanos just went flying?"
"After Steve's creepy invisible stalker and the boss of the Hulk Squad hammered on him, this hot blonde walked up to him and slapped him."
"Slapped him."
"She did."
"Or maybe punched him. It was awesome. I hope I'm not hallucinating. Capsicle, am I hallucinating?"
"...no. I see it too."
An indefinable amount of time later:
"So there were death gods."
"Yup. Capsicle's creepy invisible death gods."
"And dragons."
"Ice dragons. Weird bodies though."
"And they're all gone now, right?"
"Left through a glowing door in the sky."
"And you know them."
"Eh, sorta. Met one of Capsicle's creepy invisible stalkers during the Zemo thing. Nice guy. Kinda scowly, but nice. What kind of invisible god of death is named strawberry anyway?"
"And they liked Hulk."
"I'm pretty sure I saw the one with bells giving Hulk tips."
"You too, Rogers?"
"Hey, they're his creepy invisible stalkers."
"Enough with the creepy invisible stalkers already!"
"More to the point, where's Hulk?"
"You lost Hulk?"
"I was busy watching the creepy invisible— will you stop hitting me already?"
"Stop saying creepy invisible stalker, and I'll stop, too."
"Anyway, I was busy watching the death gods beat the tar out of Thanos. The creepy invisible stalking death gods."
"Stark, I'm warning you…"
"Never mind that, where's Hulk? I need my science bro."
"Haven't seen him since the smashing stopped."
"You don't suppose—"
"The afterlife's Hulk Squad did seem to like him."
"Aye. The belled Captain desired to teach him to fight. Truly, they were warriors worthy of Asgard's halls."
"Did the creepy invisible stalkers just kidnap Hulk?"
A.N: set some point in the upcoming Infinity War, this is an experiment at writing a story only in dialogue. For a full list of which Shinigami came to help, its: Ichigo, Rukia and Renji, all the remaining loyal captains and Vice-Captains, Uruhara, Yoruichi, Tessai, and the Visored, who weren't going to let Thanos destroy earth while they were living on it, and every single member of Eleventh, because it was easier than talking them out of coming. Did Eleventh really kidnap Hulk? Well… that's for you to decide, but if you ask me in a review, I will PM you what I think.