Chapter IV

Harry arrived home and immediately crashed onto his bed and slept. He did not realise how drained his body was until he left with Kit taking over guard, his body barely making it through his apparration home.

He woke up just after 4pm in the afternoon and decided to head over to the Weasleys for some food. This was not a rare occurance as each member of the trio had access to each other's home for safety and a range of resources. For Harry right now it was a warm mea and some company. At his London flat he primarily ate take away and did not bother keeping hordes of food at home, unlike the Weasley's.

He freashened up and left his flat arriving in their cottage which was located in the same vicinity as Ron's parents. Ron and Hermoine has a small cottage with two guest bedrooms and a floor upstairs which they made their enlargened bedroom. When he arrived he saw Hermoine tending to the vegetables in the front of the house and upon noticing him, she picked up her food and went inside in a hurry, with Harry in pursuit.

As he went to go around the house as Hermoine did Ron appeared at the front door.

'Harry bloody Potter, as I live and breath. Not here to scab another meal off again are you?' Called out Ron who made his way over to Harry and embraced him.

'Well you got me again. The only problem with scabbing meals off you lot is that I have to deal with this company.'

'Screw you Harry,' laughed Ron as they separated.

'Well are we off to somewhere?' Harry asked noticing Ron shoving his wand in his pants.

'Yeah just off to Mums, I'll be back by 5 o'clock as I've got a pie cooking in the oven. Feel free to help Hermoine out with the gardening if you want,' suggested Ron.

'Will do. See you in a bit then mate,' replied Harry as Ron walked down to his parents house 10 minutes away.

Harry walked around the house and saw Hermoine inside the greenhouse going through vegetables. This time when she saw him enter she did not run away.

'Harry,' she said curtly, standing up to face him taking her gardening gloves off. Even in denim overalls and an old flannel shirt Harry had to admit how attractive she still looked.

'Hermoine,' replied Harry standing a couple of feet away looking at her, each person not sure what to say next.

'Look I just want to apologise for kissing you like that the other day. It was not right of me to demand you of that Harry,' began Hermoine as she walked closer to Harry.

'Hey it's alright, I can see where you were coming from and it's fine. But I don't particularly want this awkwardness hanging over our friendship and left untouched,' replied Harry stepping forward and embracing Hermoine.

'So I take that as a no for my offer?'

Harry took Hermoine's face into his hands and placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

'Is that a good enough answer?'

Hermoine only nodded in agreement as she closed her eyes and melted into Harry's hands holding her face.

'Come. You must get tidied up for dinner,' said Harry before leaving Hermoine and walking away. She stood there alone in the greenhouse for a few seconds, holding onto the memory of his touch.

An hour later Harry, Ron and Hermione all sat around the small dinner table in the living room eating Ron's pie, the air thick with tension between Hermione and Harry, with Harry suspecting tension existing between Ron and Hermione as well. Small talk tried to fill the vast emptiness of the candle lit room but only the sound of the cutlery hitting the plate.

'So Harry, tell us about your new posting. Hermoine mentioned something about it last night,' started Ron placing his napkin on his empty plate and leaning back in his chair.

'Well it's simple enough really. Out of the five days I'm at the ministry, four of those are spent at Malfoy Manor watching over Ms Black.'

'Has anything interesting happened yet?' inquired Hermoine titling her head as she always does when she is genuinely interested.

Harry thought about his response for a brief moment. On one hand he knew Hermoine would disapprove with Narcissa's flirtations and his close call by almost falling for them, while on the other hand he saw no reason to lie to them.

'Well actually Narcissa funnily enough fancies me I'm pretty sure,' Harry started. Hermoine dropped her knife in shock onto her plate while Ron took on his typical teenage grin he would have whenever they talked about desirable witches as teenagers. Neither noticed the others reaction.

'Sooo she was flirting with you,' asked Ron, suddenly the tense atmosphere was replaced with an air of intrigue.

'Well, yeah.'

'And you let this happen why?' inquired Hermoine accusingly.

'Well I can't exactly stop someone from flirting with me can I?' challenged Harry as he saw Hermoine stand up with her plate only half empty.

'Well you can, and you should. Especially if you don't find this woman desirable,' stated Hermoine as she left the kitchen before the sound of the tap turned on.

Harry started forward before Ron nudged him in the shoulder playfully.

'Don't worry mate, if I were you I'd go for that anyday of the week.'

'I mean she is incredibly attractive but there is one problem from, you know, going for it.'

'And what would that be? Her husband rotting in a cell in Askerban? Her incredibly jealous son who is under house arrest? Or the ministry keeping its close watch on those grounds?'

'Well, take your pick I suppose. But really I could sleep with her and leave without her husband knowing, hell he could be in that house and I would still manage to get away with it.'

'So why don't you?'

'I love my job, all three of us know that, and I don't want to throw that away for a potential one night stand. Heck maybe she's only doing it so I get fired. But I'm not going to change my morals, especially when it's the only thing that stands between us and 'them',' explained Harry.

'It's like that stupid no killing moral you have,' muttered Ron.

'It's not stupid and yes it may take more effort to apprehend a dangerous member of society than kill them but I won't do it. Once again it's not the right thing to do.'

'Fuck the right thing to do. What if it was a choice of you get killed or the die? What if He came back? Or even worse someone just as bad if not worse?'

'Then more than ever, because that's what seperates us from them. That line can't be crossed no matter the event,' Harry suddenly noticed how dark and serious the conversation got. They made eye contact and the generic Weasley mischievous glint in his eye became apparent again.

'Still you should definitely bang her,' laughed Ron as he too stood up and went to the door, 'You coming or not?'

The sun had fallen beneath the landscape as the stars began to come out, taking center stage in the nights sky.

'Okay, would you cheat on Hermoine if you got the chance with Narcissa or someone like that?' asked Harry as Ron picked up a quaffle which was lying around in the yard.

'Promise you won't tell her?' asked Ron looking at Harry.

Harry placed his ring on his finger to his lips and kissed it, 'I promise.'

Ron understanding the severity of what he was swearing on continued. 'The owner of the club held a banquet for the players at the end of last season and there was this gorgeous looking woman, Italian I think who kept making eye contact with me that night. You know how it goes, later in the night we got talking and things heated up and she forced her body onto mine and kissed me. I say forced, but I could see her come at me from a mile away mate, and after that she invited me up to her room which I rejected of course…'

'So what's the problem? A woman kissing you is nothing mate, sure you aren't being one hundred percent faithful, but it isn't quite cheating yet-

'No it isn't, but I've thought about that kiss the entire off season, and I catch myself thinking of her when I'd be with Hermione, or when I'd be thinking of Quiddich. Heck I've even got off to the thought of her a couple of times. It is not the fact that it will fall short of my expectations, more so of how alluring it is, intoxicating almost...'

Harry could not help but think of Narcissa as Ron described this woman, agreeing at how intoxicating the thought of being with her would be. If only they stood on the same side in all of this.

'… especially since I might take up the offer.' Harry snapped out of his day dream.

'Offer? What offer?'

'Bloody hell, the offer of me going to her place later this week, I might take up the offer.'

'But what about Hermione? Do you still love her?'

Ron's face turned serious faster than he could blink. 'Look mate it's pretty obvious this marriage is on the rocks, its been a rough ride sure but we've stopped trying for a baby and I would die for her in a heartbeat, but the intimacy just isn't there anymore. It was once there, and could even maybe still be lurking somewhere deep down but I don't think its there. Not now at least.'

'What's not there,' asked Hermione as she reentered the room. Harry jumping in his seat as he did not see her, with Ron's eyes widening but keeping his composure 'nothing love, was just saying how my skills on the ballpark aren't what they used to be, and that it isn't there anymore.'

Hermione smiled a sweet smile, 'Oh don't worry dear, I'm sure deep down its there. Maybe you have lost your touch after all.'

Harry was impressed, her voice and her face showed a degree of legitimacy behind that statement, but her eyes suggested another matter completely, something that went over Ron's head.

'Anyway Harry dear, its getting late and you have somewhere to be,' concludes Hermione as she moves towards the door.

Harry gets up to embrace to Ron, whispering into his ear to "take his chance and to see where it could lead". Ron stays behind after telling Harry this as he leaves the house following Hermione. Awkwardly following her down the path, Harry could easily see that something was on her mind so much that she was drenching the air in it.

Once they reach the edge of the property, Harry stops her and asks what the matter is, responding in a sad tone;

'The conversation you had with Ron when I came back into the room. I know he was talking about our marriage, and it saddened me thinking he would lay with another woman but it hurts even more just how right he is about us. The intimacy is dead and neither know or want to pick it up again.'

'Thats not true, there is still something there between you too,' suggested Harry as he pulled her in close as he could see she was on the verge of tears.

'Maybe for him yes, but what we have is never what we once had,'

'Relationships change all the time, you can't plan for these things,'

'No Harry, I'm talking about how it would never be as good as what we had, together,' she said pulling back and looking into his eyes. Harry suddenly felt uncomfortable holding her this close to him, he knew what she was talking about. Their brief yet amazing time together at Hogwarts where their passionate affair flourished beyond two friends both feeling heartbreak.

Her hand slowly snaked from his back to the back of his head, playing with the hair as she drew a sharp intake of breath from Harry who was trying his hardest not to fall into temptations with her.

'What we had Hermione wasn't real, you had Ron on your mind, and I had Ginny, and we both knew however long it was it had to come to an end, and an end it did come to years ago,' Harry breathed as her hand persisted in playing with his hair

'It never ended for me, as I know it never ended for you,' Hermione said as she moved her face up to capture Harry's lips into hers. Harry moved his lips to respond to the kiss, their breathing momentarily stopped as they relished the kiss between them. Memories flooding back to stolen kisses and stolen moments of ecstasy in abandoned corridors, empty broom cupboards and vacant stalls. Harry bit down on her lip, eliciting a moan from her which reminded him of her hot breath breathing down upon his sweaty skin as they stood around the grounds of Hogwarts; school clothes loosely hanging around their bodies while they silently brought each other to their own climaxes. And all Harry could think was why they ended their schoolyard relationship.

Harry drew back from the kiss, as Hermione did too. Both knowing the memories they both thought themselves was shared with the other person. Hermione moved her head to his ear and whispered 'I have always loved you, and always will love you Harry Potter', before pacing a kiss on his cheek before walking back down the path to Ron, fixing her hair in the process. Now he remembered why, Hermione felt what Harry knew he could never give her back, love beyond friendship and lust for the other. Harry could picture themselves intimate together, but he could never see him rising children and starting a family with Hermione, something she desperately wanted.

With the taste of her lips still lingering in his mouth, he closed his eyes and apparated back to Malfoy Manor, from one complicated situation to another.