Hello again my dears. Okay, I have written this as a oneshot, but… I do have an idea that could make it into a multi-chapter story. Which would have Deeks/Callen relationship pairing involved. Let me know what you think, if you want me to continue it or leave it as it is, via review.

Anyway that being said, time to get on with the story. So first things first: I'm sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, being dyslexic I find it very hard to spot them if Word doesn't pick them up.

I hope you like this latest wandering of my mind.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA.

Deeks sat on the sand, staring out across the ocean, trying to regain the equilibrium of his mind. But he knew he couldn't. It would take more than this. It would take more than the peace of this place to calm his raging soul. He couldn't believe he had blown up so much at this case. Sure it hit far too close to home for his liking, but really? Did he really need to yell at the team and tell them without words, things he was definitely not ready to share? He didn't want anyone to know of the shit he had gone through. But somehow, he had let it all out. Damn it. Why had he done that? He needed to get a control of himself and think of some explanation for his behaviour. Because there was no way he was going to tell any of them the truth.

They didn't need to know about his past. It was in the past. Even if he had let their latest case affect him in a way none of the others had done before. But seriously, how was he supposed to response when it turned out a kid had killed his dad because of the abuse he had been subjected to? That added to the fact that the team were talking about prosecuting the boy…

It was all too similar to what he had done. What he had been through. Okay sure he hadn't killed his father, but he had shot him, and he had been prosecuted for it. Damn it. Why couldn't they leave the kid alone? He had tried to argue that point, but he knew it wouldn't work. None of them knew what it was like to be in such a place as the one the boy had been in, such as he had been in. No one understood, no one could understand, and a part of him was grateful for that. That they had never had to experience that in their lives. But another part, a part that was still the child crying out for help as he was dragged into a police car, wished they got where the kid was coming from. He wished one of them would be there for him, as no one had been there for him.

Callen stood in the boat shed with the rest of his team, all staring at the door Deeks had just walked out of.

"What's his problem?" Sam asked, not unkindly, more a case of wanting to understand why Deeks had just blown up at them at the idea that the prosecuting the kid who had killed his dad. I mean there was no question that the kid would get off, it was obvious to all it was self-defence, so why did Deeks go postal all of a sudden?

"I have no idea." Kensi replied with a worried frown as she stared after her partner. She wanted to go after him, but she had no idea what to say, or even why he had behaved as he had.

"You two go back to the ops, write up your reports. I'll take the kid to booking." Callen said, not answering Sam's words. He had a very good idea why Deeks had behaved as he had, but he wasn't going to share that with his colleagues. He knew neither of them would understand in their soul what was effecting the detective. But he did. He knew. He had been there himself. Maybe not his dad, but his foster parents. Therefore his first port of call was to make sure the kid they had in custody had a good home to go to, and a good lawyer to defend him. That was if he couldn't get the charges dropped with a little help from Hetty. That would be the best thing in his mind.

Then he would go after Deeks. He was pretty sure he was the only one who could possibly understand what was going through the younger man's head right now.

It didn't take Callen long to make sure the kid was looked after, especially considering he called in a favour of the only social worker he had ever liked to take control of him. He knew he would be fine now, in a decent house, and there was no way he would be charged. Therefore he turned his mind to his next problem. Detective Marty Deeks. Where was he now? Where would Deeks go when he was hurt? Callen didn't know, he didn't know Deeks that well, but he had an idea. It was a long shot, but it was all he had. Therefore he drove down to the beach, hoping that Deeks' love for the waves was ingrained so much that he would come to them for solace.

Deeks mind was in turmoil, but he was still a cop. Therefore he registered the footsteps through the sand as them came closer to him even as he noticed that at some time the sun had set around him. He didn't remember that happening but that didn't matter now. Without thought his hand drifted to his gun, ready to pull it at the any moment.

"It's just me Deeks." Came a voice out of the darkness. A body accompanied it, showing itself to be G Callen. He had no idea why he was here, or how he had found him, but Deeks really wasn't up for company.

"I want to be alone."

"I understand that."

Silence followed that sentence but by the way Callen settled himself into the sand next to him Deeks guessed he wasn't getting what he wanted. There was a surprise.

The silence was finally broken by Callen, speaking words he had never said to anyone else in his life. Yet he made sure he tone was light, as if he was discussing the weather rather than the past. Deeks needed to know he wasn't alone, and if that took Callen giving up a piece of himself, then he was willing. That was what friends did for one another right? That's what family did, right?

"The first time someone hit me was when I was six. I had been in the home for two days before the dad got drunk and decided I was the perfect punch bag. I was there for three weeks before I ended up in hospital and they took me away. The next was better, good family. But soon I was relocated to another which wasn't so nice. I learnt quickly after that two things. One to make myself scarce whenever anyone had been drinking, and two to not trust anyone. When I got older I also learnt to fight back. That was my childhood, fighting to survive, and running whenever I could. It's not nice, and it's not pretty, but it happened. It made me who I am today, someone who is determined to protect others… the kid won't go to jail. Just as you didn't.-"

"What you talking about?" Deeks interrupted his mind latching onto Callen's final words with fear that maybe his secret wasn't so secret after all. That maybe he knew, that maybe they all knew, just what a pathetic case he had been as a child. Forced to shoot his own father to stop the pain.

"I know Deeks. I've always known. I'm your team leader, I've seen your file. I came here to tell you if you needed to talk, I'm here. I understand, where others don't." Callen replied in a gentle voice, though he made sure to not sound as if he was pitting the younger man. And in truth he didn't, he respected him for doing what he did, in awe that he had the courage needed to protect not just himself but his mom as well, and all at the age of 11. There were grown men who never showed the courage this man had when he was still a child.

"You were in foster care right?" Deeks asked when he had finally gotten his head around Callen's words, and calmed himself. G didn't sound pitting, nor did he sound condemning. But still, he would never know what it took him to do what he did.

"I was, from the age of five until I was fifteen." Callen confirmed simply. There was no escaping that fact from his life after all. He had grown up in the system, he didn't have a family, but he had seen many children in care who were the result of bad parenting.

"That's different. I had only my dad." Deeks responded wanting his words to sound as if Callen couldn't possibly understand, but instead they came out weary. Tired from all he had been put through by the man who was supposed to love and protect him.

"I never had a dad." Callen answered without malice or jealousy. Just a statement of truth said in an even tone, allowing Deeks to vent any way he wished to. Callen didn't care if Deeks took it out on him, that was what friends were for. And he wanted to friends with this young man who had been through so much, and come out the other side stronger for it.

"If mine is any example think yourself luckily." Deeks replied sarcasm lacing his tone, along with bitterness at all he had been through as a child. Callen knew he needed to go further if he was to help his colleague, was to help Deeks.

"I still watched on as men beat others to death. Men who were supposed to look after us. It's not the same I know, but… we wouldn't be who we are without the childhood we had. You are a great cop, and from what I hear you were a great lawyer. You protect people so they don't have to go through what you did." The sincerity in his voice was not lost on the detective at his side, even if Deeks wasn't sure he could believe it. Because they didn't always manage that did they? The kid was case in point in his mind.

"But the kid still did."

"Sometimes people fall through the cracks. We can't save everyone, however much we want to. It doesn't work that way." Callen replied, his low and gentle voice falling into the ocean so that if Deeks felt like being fanciful he could imagine the words themselves came from the waves. The wise words of the ones before. We can't save everyone, however much we want to. It was the mantra of anyone in law enforcement, and it was something he had learnt long ago. But it still hurt.

"I know." He whispered back, hating himself even as he did so, his wall starting to crumble around him at the knowledge that he could only do so much to help those who could not help themselves.

"You have us you know. You're not alone anymore." Callen replied in his calm conversational tone. How Deeks envied him that mask. For mask he knew it was, one he himself wore every day. But it had slipped with this case. He wasn't sure if he would ever get it back again right then.

"Is that how you feel? That the team make you not alone?" Deeks asked honestly wanting an answer to the question. Wanting to know if there was any chance that if he continued working with these people he would find his place in life. Find somewhere where he wasn't as alone as he felt far too often in his life.

"Not always, but I try my best. They are the family I want, even if sometimes I don't remember that fact." Callen replied with a self-deprecating smile as he remembered that he was known by some as the tribe of one, and as a lone wolf by others. Always going off on his own to solve those things closest to him. He didn't want Deeks to become like him. He wanted him to trust those around them, to give them a chance to help when he needed it. It was very much as case of do as I say not as I do and Callen knew it. But it was the best he had right then.

"Family, huh?" Deeks asked raising his eyebrow at that. He hadn't thought a guy who had grown up without one, would class the team at NCIS as family. But maybe that was what Callen needed… and maybe it was what he needed to. People who knew him, accepted him for who he was and what he did. He never had that, it was a new idea, but one he liked.

"Yeah, family." Callen nodded definitely. They were family, sure they were dysfunctional and they all had secrets, but that was the way family was, right?

"Does that make you my brother?" Deeks asked to lighten the mood. He was done with the heavy conversation. He needed to take his mind away from it, while seeing if Callen really stood by his words. If he really was prepared to be his family in a way that was new and, if Deeks was truthful with himself, exciting to him.

"Yep, the wiser one." Callen quipped back without thought, his trade mark quirk of a smile appearing on his face as he stared out at the ocean rather than the man next to him who he had just pledged brotherhood to.

"You sure about that? Cos I was thinking Sam was the more wise and you were more-" Deeks started to reply in the time old fashion of younger, annoying brothers that Callen recognised from his many years in the foster care system.

"Don't finish that sentence Martin." He interrupted with a mock glower at the younger man, though he found it very hard to keep the smile off his face. His rash offer of family it seemed was not going to be rejected by the detective. Good. Deeks needed someone, and if it was him, then he was happy to be there for him. Wasn't that the role of older brother after all?

"Wow, Martin. Only my mom calls me that." Deeks responded with a shake of his head at how easily Callen had managed to get him back to himself. And at how easily he had managed to give him his support. Just like family.

"Would you prefer it if I called you M?" Callen asked with a raise of his eyebrow as he turned to the other man, happy now it seemed Deeks was coming back to himself. He wasn't going to let go of the banter just yet. Though even as he said the words he felt a pain shoot through him at the fact he still did not even know he own name. They all had their own demons it seemed.

"Well considering M in the bond movies in the leader of MI5, I thinking maybe-" But before Deeks could say anything more Callen hit his arm, a lot harder than Kensi did. Though still not hard enough to really cause any pain, but he was Deeks. Therefore he made sure he sounded very wounded as he yelped out an "ouch."

"Don't even go there." Callen growled. There was no way he was going to sit here and listen as Deeks cast himself as the leader of MI5 thank you very much.

That sentence was followed by silence as both men reflected on the conversation they had had, about the idea that they could maybe find a new family with each other and the team, and the commitment they had made to each other without a word. A commitment that they had a shared bond, a shared experience that set them aside from their partners, but one which made them who they were. Fiercely protective of those they cared about and making sure the innocent were protected.

Finally Callen broke the comfortable silence. It was time to leave the younger man to his mind, he just hoped he had helped him in some small way. "Call your mom. Talk to her. And if you need more family, you know where to find us, to find me."

"Thanks G." Deeks replied quietly turning to stare at the older man next to him, saying with that look more than he ever could with simple words.

And Callen simply nodded as he stood, bushing sand off his pants, and walks away. Leaving Deeks with a lighter heart and a feeling of belonging that he hadn't had in a very long time, if ever.