Finding his way back to her chapter 6-

Lucifer and Chloe walked back into his apartment in silence. After Charlotte had walked away the two had stood there looking at each other, both waiting for the other to speak. It was Lucifer who had broken first taking a deep breath. "Come on, let's go back to my apartment and we can talk."

Chloe gave a nod and followed him back towards her car still not talking, trying to understand what was going on. By the time, they made it back and up the elevator the silence between then was palpable, it felt like there was a static in the air thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Lucifer gave her a glance and nodded towards the bar. He walked behind the it and grabbed two glasses and a whiskey bottle and set them gently on the counter. Chloe followed and sat down across from him watching him with weary eyes.

Chloe watched him pour them each a glass and push one towards her. "Lucifer what is going on?" Chloe said softly, "I can see it in your eyes. What are you worried about? What was Charlotte talking about tonight?"

Lucifer took a breath and a gulp of whiskey and poured another glass, "I have never lied to you Chloe, I swear …. But I never pushed one main truth. I tell you all the time but…" He took a deep shuddering breath and a quick barking sour laugh "I am scared for you to actually believe me."

Chloe looked at him for a moment, "Why are you scared for me to believe?" She asked softly.

Lucifer looked everywhere but at her, "Because you might be afraid of me…. Then you might not want to be around me anymore." She watched as his hands clenched on the bar top over and over again.

Chloe bit her lip and really watched him…... really, really looked at him for the first time since he got back. And for the she saw his fear and his pain. Maybe she wasn't the only one that had been hurting. Maybe he really did make a mistake when he left…... his fear sending him running. He would not have been the first one to run from fear, she had been guilty of that once or twice.

She felt his pain and wanted to make feel her support, so she took a breath and reached over to grab his hand, his head swung around to look at her in surprise the relief. She squeezed his hand and he gave her a soft smile and squeezed back.

"Lucifer is this thing that you are about to tell me…. is it the reason that you left?" she asked softly.

Lucifer looked into her eyes for a moment and Chloe could see the emotion rolling and pitching there. He looked away his jaw clenching, after a moment he closed his eyes and took another shuddering breath. "Yes and no." he whispered.

Chloe looked at him, "You are still scared … are you scared of me?" she asked him.

He shook his head no but still did not look at her, "No…...I would never be afraid of you…. only that you will run away and never come back."

Chloe tilted her head at him, "What if I said I swear not to run?"

Lucifer gave a harsh laugh while shaking his head, "I would tell you not to make promises that you can't keep." He poured another drink and tilted it down his throat. Liquid courage.

Chloe looked at him for a few moments before grabbing her drink and swallowing it in one gulp, "Well I will promise I won't run Lucifer. More than anything I want to know why you left. If this can help explain why you left I need to know. I thought you left because of me." She said standing up and walking around to grab his hand. He looked down at her, uncertainty in his eyes. She gave him a smile and then pulled him over to the couch to sit facing her. When she looked at his face again she could see the disbelief on his face.

"You silly silly girl." He whispered his hand reached up to cup her cheek, "I left because of what I found out my father did." His hand slid off her face turning to face forward. Slowly he leaned forward on to his elbows, the weight on the world on her shoulders, "I left in fear…. I left because I didn't think that you could really care about me."

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise then anger, "Well that is nice…. that you felt like that and decided what I felt. Maybe you should have talked to me." She said with a growl. Pushing him in the shoulder surprising him at her sudden violence.

But her anger left as fast as it came when he looked over at her and said, "You are right, I shouldn't have assumed . I made a mistake."

Chloe sighed deeply and gently touched his arm to pull him towards her again, "Tell me what's going on Lucifer …. talk to me.""

Lucifer closed his eyes, "You promise …... no matter what I show you, no matter what I tell you …you won't run?"

Chloe pulled his hand over to her lap, "Are you a serial killer or a child kidnapper." She said with a small smile.

When his head whipped around and he shouted NO in a startled voice, she gave a bigger grin. "So, it can't be that bad."

Lucifer gave her a half smile back, "You might wish I was a serial killer after what I tell you."

Lucifer took a breath and took a hold of both of her hands, "Just remember who I am ok, who I am when I am around you. The man who helps you find killers, eats your special sandwiches…. The man who cares about you and would never ever hurt you… ok." He said softly

Chloe could see the fear in his face so she clenched his hands tighter, "Ok …... Lucifer just tell me… I am not going anywhere."

Lucifer clenched his jaw tightly for a few moments before breaking the silence, "Do you remember what I told you the first day that we met …. about where I come from?"

Chloe gave a grin, "You mean your tale about coming from hell."

Lucifer gave her a frown, "Yes…. the thing is Chloe, I wasn't lying to you."

Chloe gave a frown and tried to pull her hands out of his but he held tightly, "Lucifer please be serious."

Lucifer shook his head, "Listen Chloe, this is why she said I was lying to you. Because I never make you believe…so please just listen to me." He said with a shake of his head, "Please just really listen and then I will show you."

Chloe could see the desperation and frustration in his voice so she slowly nodded her head, "Ok listening only right now …..." She said slowly.

Lucifer took a deep breath, holding her hands tighter, "First I am going to tell you what happened, and why I left …... then I will show you, because you will never believe me otherwise…... I just never pushed it because I always worried that you would hate me…. or fear me then I would lose you. So, I let you think it was a joke every time I said it." he sighed a deep breath, "I AM the devil Chloe, I fell from heaven a long time ago… Think about everything that has happened between us in the last few years… think about my ability to get people to tell me what their deepest desires are."

Chloe held her breath and thought about the scars on his back and it was like he was reading her mind when he whispered, "The scars from my back…. when I asked to see your back. It is all connected."

He leaned in almost tilting his head into their conjoined hands and he looked down, "When my father cast me out… I hated him, I hated where I went…... Yet I endured it for thousands of years before I decide that I was not going to stay there anymore. That I was not going to be forced to stay in hell any longer. So, I came here, it seemed fitting…. A place of sin." He gave a humorless laugh, "And everything was going fine until I met you.

"Me?" Chloe whispered trying to follow along, trying to make sense of what he was saying. But he could hear her confusion and the uncertainty in her voice.

Lucifer looked up and into her eyes, "Yes you…. you made me begin to feel things…things I have never felt before, things that I never thought I would feel… I wanted to be a better man when I was around you, you made me want to help others … you also made me vulnerable." His eyes looking into hers, trying to will her to understand how important she was.

"Emotionally?" Chloe whispered.

"Yes." Lucifer said softly, "But also literally…. when I am around you, I can be hurt. I can die and go back to hell."

Chloe closed her eyes, hands tightening on his, "That night in the warehouse…... you were shot…I saw it." She said trying to piece it together but still not wanting to believe.

"Yes, I went to hell…. My father brought me back to collect someone that had escaped." He said watching her process everything.

Chloe looked up at him, "If this is all true…." she whispered so softly he could barely hear her, "If this is true… you went there knowing that you could die…. You went into that warehouse knowing you could be hurt because of me…. Knowing you would be sent back to hell…. why?"

Lucifer let go of one of her hands to cup her cheek, "Isn't it obvious, I care about you…more than anyone else in this world. I would do anything for you…. I can't imagine you not being in this world." He looked at her trying to force her to understand what he was saying, trying to get her to understand how much she meant to him.

She shook her head, "I don't understand then… why? …why did you leave, after all of that, after I told you that I cared back? That I wanted to give us a chance. Why did you leave me here?" her voice broke.

Lucifer frowned, "Because I found out why I am vulnerable around you, why you are immune to my power."

"Why?" she said looking into his eyes, "What is wrong with me?" she questioned softly.

"Nothing!" Lucifer said eye wide in disbelief, he could see the damage he caused when he left. She still believed that she was the problem. "There is nothing wrong with you Chloe… I…... I found out that my brother was sent down to your mother when she was trying to have a child and couldn't conceive… that after he blessed her she had a child 9 months later…" he took a breath, "You are that child Chloe, my father… you are one of his miracles. That is why I left."

Chloe pulled her hands out of his and stood in a rush, "So let me get this straight…if I am to believe what you are saying. You are the devil, your father is God…..." she paused and took another breath pacing back and forth, "You have the power to pull peoples desires out of them, except for me because your father made me a miracle and whenever you are around me you can die?" she shook her head in a harsh hysterical laugh, "No wonder you ran from me…I am horrible to be around you."

She was still pacing back and forth, "If I am going to believe what you are saying…. which is a HUGE IF… How does Charlotte now what's going one with you?" she said stopping in front of him hands on her hips, eyes wide and a little too big for her face.

Lucifer grabbed her hands and pulled her back down on the couch, "No listen… first I didn't leave because of you, I don't care if I am vulnerable around you…... I love being around you…" he shook his head and smiled at her, "Being by you is the best part of my day. You make me think and work at being better, you bring light to my existence…. I left because I found out that you were made by my father, I left because I thought that you were made as a way to manipulate me."

Chloe startled back her face showing surprise, "That is what you were asking me that day…. if I knew…. You kept asking me if I knew, I didn't understand then…. Then I forgot with everything that happened. You were asking me if I knew…... that is why you asked to see my back that night." She said eyes closed remembering.

"Yes." He said softly, "Then you were dying and I lost all care if he sent you, all that mattered was making sure you were ok. Making sure you would live. It was after you were better that I had to leave before I couldn't anymore." His eyes closed as if in pain.

"What do you mean before you couldn't?" she asked gently.

"It came to a point that I didn't care if you were sent to manipulate me, I missed you so much Chloe…it was like all the light had left my world again and I was back in hell…... but this time it was hell on earth. When they called me asking with help for the piece, it was an excuse for them….and Heaven help me but I came back because I couldn't stay away anymore …I told them and myself that it was just to help, but it was just an excuse." He brushed his fingers on her cheek, "I came back and the instant I saw you I was lost… nothing mattered and Ella… Ella in her amazing smart mind, she reminded me of something."

"What." Chloe whispered.

"You are human… and all humans have free will…. So even if my father made you …... you had the right to hate me, love me or not care about me at all. If you cared it was because you chose to, not because you were forced to." He said with a smile, "That's when I decided that I was going to try and win you back, that I was going to do everything in my power to get you to forgive me."

"Oh…...ok." Chloe said still trying to processes everything that was being said, "Charlotte?" she questioned again.

Lucifer gave a grimace, "So now to challenge you a little more… do you remember when I told you my father sent me back because someone had escaped?" he watched her give a slow nod, "It was my mother that escaped…. Charlotte is my mother."

Chloe started to laugh at him until she realized that he was being serious, "Your mother?" she said, "Wow, what did she do to get a seat in hell?"

"The same thing that I did, have a voice against my father…. She hated humans, wanted them to all be banished from existence. She hates how much my father's loves them… so she was sent to hell where she could not hurt any." He said softly.

Chloe looked at Lucifer eyes wild, "Do you know how crazy you sound, do you know how utterly crazy?... I can't. …. And how crazy would I be to believe you" she said trailing off, "Lucifer while I agree that some of the things that I have seen and heard can make sense by what you are saying…. it's completely crazy!" she was shaking her head, eyes wide.

"I know, that's why I have to show you." He said softly, "Promise me, swear to me…that you won't run away… that you will remember who I am…. Who I have been to you." He begged her hands tightening around her's again in desperation.

"Lucifer." She said softly, "What are you are going to do?"

"Prove it, but first you have to promise me you won't run." He begged her.

She looked into his eyes and saw the desperation and complete and utter fear and her heart broke for him. How long had this been weighing on him, how long had this fear been consuming him. She closed her eyes for a moment and his hands tightened around hers painfully, when she opened her eyes back up she could see that his features were now twisted in fear like his eyes and it broke her too. "Yes." She whispered, "I swear I will not run, I am not going anywhere until we talk this out ok…nothing you show me will make me hate you."

"Maybe not hate…but fear me." He said so low she barley heard him, "You will fear me and I do not want that."

Chloe held his hands back tightly, "I will not fear you, you saved me twice…you saved Trixie. I know you would never hurt me…... show me." She said in a strong voice knowing he needed to her say that and in a sure voice.

Lucifer closed his eyes and leaned his head down into her hands, "I am scared." He confessed brokenly.

Chloe leaned down to lay her head on his, "I'm not." She kissed his hair, "Please show me what you need to."

She felt his hands tighten again and then he took a deep shuddering breath, she lifted her head and waited for him to follow. Slowly it was like time had stopped until his face was directly in front of her's, eyes tightly closed. So, she reached up to cup his cheeks, "Trust me Lucifer…. Please." She begged him gently.

Then his eyes slowly opened and she saw a black gaze with a fire burning in their depths and she froze. What was this… how was he doing it. Her breath caught in her throat hands still cupping his cheeks. Her eyes looked deep into his looking for the brown eyes she had fallen in love with but they were gone. "How…" her voice broke so she had to take a breath, "How are you doing that."

"I told you Chloe, I told you who I am." He said back to her softly, hands reaching out to hold her hips. "Even with this you don't believe me. I am going to show you more…but you can't be scared though." He didn't wait for her to answer him back, slowly his skin began to melt under her fingers and she was faced with burnt skin and muscles and for a moment her heart stopped. Her breath coming out is harsh puffs, her eyes becoming comically wide.

"Ummmmm…... Lucifer, you skin is gone." She said sharply, breath trembling, "You seem to have burnt it off"

"Chloe its ok, it still me…." He said softly.

She continued to cup his cheeks and stare into his deep black eyes not moving, barely breathing.

"Chloe, are you ok." He asked heart racing holding onto her hips tightly in case she got up to run away.

But she just kept looking into his eyes not moving, staring like she was lost in them.

"Please Chloe, say something." He begged her, his fear becoming more and more overwhelming.

Her voice broke the silence in the apartment like thunder, "Lucifer." She said firmly, her eyes still staring into his.

"What?" he asked gently. "What is it?"

She blinked a few times coming out of the spell she was under, "I think you are the devil." She said matter a factly.