Chapter 1: Blessed With a Second Chance
Harry floated in the darkness. Floating, floating, with nothing around him but empty nothingness… Then, after Merlin only knew how long, he was somewhere again, with new, completely unknown and unfamiliar surroundings flickering into being. Perplexed, Harry looked around, trying to make sense of this place he'd found himself cast into. He was sitting in a dark brown wooden chair, with a red cushion behind his back. And a few feet in front of him, he could see another chair, standing there empty. A white one, of a far more elaborate design, reminding him a bit of Dumbledore's chair at the top of the Teacher's Table in the Great Hall. Beside it, there was a small desk, completely free of clutter aside from a single book, planted in the middle of it.
Those aside though, nothing else could be seen. Looking down at the floor, it appeared to be made up of white and black tiles, like a chess board. And around the square 'board', there was nothing by empty darkness. Overhead, what looked like small boxes, emitting a gentle blue light- were they charmed? Magic, had to be- floated through the air, illuminating the space. Looking down at his hands- relieved to see that his trusty wand was still safely in his grasp, tightening his grip upon it- Harry wracked his brains, trying to remember, remember. What it was that had happened, before he'd been swallowed by the darkness? Why was he here- wherever, or whatever, here actually was? Before he could spend too much time thinking much about it though, he heard something, something behind him. Jumping up out of the chair, Harry whipped around, raising his wand to point it in the direction of the approaching footsteps.
"Harry Potter." Harry's wand hand wavered at the sound of the soft, gentle voice, and his raised arm slowly started to fall back down by his side as a girl- no, young woman- emerged from the darkness. She had dazzling blue eyes, ones which looked even more like gemstones than his own did, and even her gleaming hair was the exact same cyan-blue color. Pretty much the exact same color as the actual gemstone adorning the necklace-thingie around her neck, and as the floating box-lights above. Her clothes weren't the same color though- they were mostly either dark blue or white. And frilly. And kind of skimpy…
As she walked past him, Harry averted his gaze from her bared thighs- left almost completely exposed, in spite of her long, knee-length stockings, by that tiny semi-transparent miniskirt she was wearing- to stare instead at the clearly magical item floating in the air around her, a translucent, ghostly pink ribbon of some sort. He was staring it so hard that when she took her seat in the white chair in front of him, and uttered those next few words, it took him a few seconds to realize that she'd spoken at all, and for those words to register. But when it did, it brought his whole world crumbling down. "Wait- WHAT? What did you just say…?"
"I said, welcome to the Afterlife. Unfortunately you passed away moments ago. Your life was a short and eventful one, but you are, in fact, dead." She smiled.
"No, no- I can't be dead. I can't be…"
"Well, you wouldn't be here if you weren't, now would you? Honestly, you humans say the dumbest things sometimes…"
"But, but…" Then, the memories started to come flooding back. Of his last few moments, of what had happened before he'd found himself here. The truth about Sirius Black, and about the rat who'd really betrayed his parents to Voldemort; Pettigrew's escape, their ambush in that clearing in the Forbidden Forest by the Dementor horde… "Wait. What about Hermione? And Sirius?"
"Oh- your godfather's alive, he got away. Actually, wait… No, they both are. Honest." The blue-haired young woman cast a reassuring, sweet smile at him, and Harry breathed a heavy sigh of relief, slumping forward.
"Thank Merlin. Well, at least I didn't die in vain."
"Er… Actually, he wouldn't have gotten hurt, even if you hadn't done anything. If you'd left him behind, and hadn't done anything to try and save him, he would have been absolutely fine."
"Huh? I don't- understand…"
"Those emotion-draining Lich Shades, the 'Dementors' as you call them, they can't do that soul-sucking thing of theirs on you unless you're in human form. Your godfather, Sirius, he wasn't in human form. He managed to shapeshift back into his other form, that of the big black dog. So they couldn't do anything to him anyway. And you two were perfectly safe the whole time- they were sworn not to attack any of you students. Especially after what'd happened the first time, when they invaded the… What was it? 'Quidditch'? Fascinating sport. Anyway, after that pitch invasion, extra measures were taken, more clauses inserted into their unbreakable magical contract with your Ministry of Magic. Neither of you were ever in any danger from them."
Harry blinked, completely thrown off. "Huh? Hold up, wait just a second…"
"What is it?" The Blue Lady fluttered her eyelashes at him innocently.
"Then what happened? Didn't I die by getting my soul sucked out? I remember it happening…"
"No, you only imagined that happening. You actually died of shock."
Harry's eyes bulged in disbelief, his jaw dropping to gape at her. "WHAT? I died of- SHOCK?! No. No, no WAY…!"
The Blue Lady's face twitched for a moment, before she promptly burst out laughing. "Aahahahaha! I've been doing this for a long time, but you're the first human to ever die in such a bizarre, unnatural way! Heeheehee…"
"I'm a true Gryffindor, for crying out loud! It's impossible! IMPOSSIBLE!" I've never even met this girl before. What's her deal?
"Oh yes, you were so terrified that you lost consciousness, and control of your bowels, and died of fear, lying in a puddle of your own pee! They didn't find your body for a full day, and when they did finally find it, after sending out search parties into the forest, the people who found you were laughing at you so much! When they weren't holding their noses, and gagging at how bad you stank! Even in the hospital wing…"
"Stop! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to, I don't want to!"
"Your magical Guardian, Albus Dumbledore, rushed over there, and even now he's laughing out loud at your cause of death!"
"Shut up! Shut up! I don't believe you!"
The Blue Lady wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes, still smirking at him. "Haha, that never gets old! Oh yes you did, you did believe me! Ehehehe… Well, I've vented enough stress for now. Oh, and your friend, the girl- Hermione, was it? Well, I suppose it'd make things go a lot quicker if I just processed the two of you together. Soo…"
The woman clicked her fingers. A gushing spout of water appeared out of thin air alongside him, kind of like she was doing a wandless Aguamenti spell; but instead of just spurting water everywhere, the water seemed to have life of its own, materialising into the shape of another chair identical to his own, and then into another person sitting in it, building up from the feet first. And not just any other person either.
"Hermione," Harry breathed, his eyes going watery as he fought desperately not to cry. The waterspout petered out, and as its last drop fell, Hermione took a gasp of breath, shivering and clutching her chest. Turning to look at him, he could see that her eyes were brimming with tears too.
"Harry. I'm so, so sorry. I tried, I really did try as hard as I could, but I couldn't… T-the Dementors, there were too many…"
"But- you said she survived! You said!" Harry yelled, leveling an accusatory finger at the woman in front of them.
"Did I? No, I never said that."
"Yes, you did!"
The Blue Lady squinted, fiddling with a lock of her hair for a moment or two, before nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, that broad smile still plastered across her face. "Oh, did I? Whoopsie. Ah well, never mind!"
Damn her! Harry rose from his chair, righteous fury pasted across his face. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"
"Oh, right, I haven't even told you yet, have I? And I should introduce myself to your female compatriot as well. My name is Aqua. I'm a goddess who guides humans who die young to the afterlife. Now, the two of you have two choices. You can both start from square one with a new life, be reincarnated. Or, you can carry on like old people, and go on to Heaven. To tell you the truth, Heaven isn't the dreamy place you all imagine it to be."
"Huh?" Hermione blinked away the tears, and stared at the- Goddess? Seriously? Hermione gazed intensely up at Aqua with a trace of her characteristic expression, academic curiosity,
"Not only is there no entertainment, but there's no fun, no games, no drama. You don't even have physical bodies, so you can't do anything sexual up there, either."
Why the heck did she bring that up? Harry stared down at the tiled floor, his face turning a bright shade of puce. "I-I don't- I mean, I'm not…"
"Me too! I mean, me neither!" Hermione chimed in, a slight blush making its way onto her face.
"Hehehe. Anyway, there's nothing to do up there but bask in the sun for all eternity. I know, super dreary, right?"
"What? So…"
"Yeah, you don't wanna go to a boring place like Heaven, do you?"
"Uh, right…"
"On the other hand, starting from square one isn't so fun either. On that note, I've got a great offer for the two of you! You like games, don't you?"
"Er- yeah, kind of…" Harry admitted, the slightest hint of a smile returning to his face as he mused about his last Quidditch match, and how he'd finally lifted the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup. That'd been the greatest day of his life...
"No, not really," Hermione muttered, her scowl deepening.
Smiling softly, Aqua cleared her throat, before rising from her own throne-like seat, raising her hands dramatically above her head, and adopting a wailing voice that reminded him of Professor Trelawney's. "That world, which has long enjoyed peace, is being threatened by the Devil King's army!"
"Eh? You mean the Dark Lord's?"
"Yes, yes," Aqua murmured, closing her eyes and waving it away dismissively. "The livelihoods its citizens have worked for are being trampled by monsters! Everyone lives in fear of the Devil King's armies' merciless pillage and slaughter!"
Er- Yeah, we know? Sat there in silence, Harry turned to look at Hermione- who'd already raised her hand, to try and ask a question- and found that she was wearing the same unimpressed, skeptical facial expression he was.
"…Slaughter!" Aqua squealed again, even louder, still scrunching her eyes shut and dramatically quivering her arms above her head. Harry and Hermione exchanged glances, as the dramatic pause stretched on, and on... Finally, Aqua opened her eyes again, cleared her throat, and sat back in her regal seat.
"Since that's the kind of world it is, everyone refuses to be reborn, so the population is declining."
"I see…" Harry murmured, even though he didn't, hoping that it'd shut her up. Hermione gasped as a thought struck her, waving her raised hand before letting it flow out.
"Oh, wait. I studied this, in the advanced theory textbooks on Ghoul Studies. Magical souls, reincarnation- it didn't mention anything about reincarnation, but it said that souls can either choose to 'pass on', or to become ghosts. But if they can choose to either go on to heaven or to be reincarnated when they pass on- is that the mystery reason for the magical population crisis? Because all of the wizards and witches are choosing to go to heaven instead of being reborn, meaning that their souls and all their magic's flowing away with them, forever…?"
Aqua stared at Hermione for a few moments, before nodding thoughtfully, turning to the book set on her desk, materializing a quill out of thin air and jotting something down hurriedly. "Definitely worth looking into- thanks! You never know, might even be worth adding your world to the redistribution scheme too… Anyhow, we decided, 'Why not send people who've died in other worlds there with their bodies and memories intact?' That way, we'd be able to shore up the numbers, lessen the population decline…"
"But what's the point of sending us there if we're just going to be 'slaughtered', like everyone else?" Harry said sullenly, crossing his arms and glaring at her.
"That's why I'm doing you a big favour! I'm granting you both the right to choose any one thing each, to take there with you. It could be a powerful weapon, or a tremendous talent. You'll be able to redo your life with all of your original memories, and to top it off, you can each bring this one thing of your choosing. And the people of the parallel world will earn someone- no, two someones- battle-ready to help them. Not a bad deal, don't you think?"
Nervously, Hermione raised her hand again. "Um- I want to ask something. You're saying this is a parallel world we're being sent to? Not the one we're from?"
"Oh, no. You can't be resurrected like this in your own world, silly. Don't worry though- you won't have a problem understanding any people in the new world. It won't be an issue- with the kind support of us Gods, we'll overload your brain, so that you'll be able to learn their languages instantly. Oh, and as a side effect your brain might just go 'poof' if you're unlucky though. SO, all that leaves you to do, is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment! Let's get to it, shall we?"
Aqua waved her hand in an arc and summoned a flurry of sheets of card, each of which had stuff written on it. Grumbling, Harry rose from his seat, reaching out to read the first that came to hand. The- Padparadscha Chakram? Allows one to harness the powers of Succubi, and make them slaves to one's bidding… Dunno what Succubi even are. Sounds like they kind of suck though, from their name. And the thing itself looked WAY too girly for his tastes. Pass. What's next…? The Longbow of Misfortune- curses all those struck by its arrows to forever miss their marks. Too bad he didn't know archery, and he knew he'd never be able to hit anyone with them. And the strength requirements- Yikes. Besides Hagrid, would anyone be able to wield this bloody thing? Pass…
"…Wait." Harry stopped, glancing up at Hermione, who was still frozen in her seat, narrowing her eyes at Aqua, and using the iciest tone of voice he'd ever heard her use. "I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, 'poof'?"
"I never said that." Aqua smiled innocently.
"Hold up. Yeah, you did!" Harry raised his voice, pointing a finger at Aqua again. Who, for her part, blindly ignored the both of them, spreading her arms wide and melodramatically shouting out another proclamation.
"Now, choose! I'll grant you one power that is second to none!"
Aqua kept yawning. Deliberately, louder and louder each time. Gritting their teeth, Harry and Hermione, who'd joined him in searching through the cards strewn across the floor and sorting them out into categories (alright, who had done practically all of the sorting-stuff-out stuff herself), tried their best to shut the Goddess out, and kept looking. It was hard to tell how time worked here- he couldn't speculate on whether it had only been a few minutes, or over an hour. They'd managed to get through sixty one cards so far- thirty six magical items (thirteen offensive, nine defensive, fourteen other), and twenty five magical abilities (eleven active, fourteen passive). Now, they were on the sixty second card. Yet another entry to the 'other magical item' category- The Sivuftotovi Kachina, some weird dragonfly hairpin which could apparently be activated, brought to life and used to spy on people- but still…
"I dunno, Mione. For the life of me, I still can't decide. How about you?"
"No, me neither. I've ruled out several of them, sure, those which are useless along with those which I'm reasonably confident I could replicate with magic, like this one. I'll definitely be working on developing a few of them myself- now that we, won't have any schoolwork or exams or anything like that, ever again…" Hermione tapered off, glumly staring down at the floor and looking downcast. The thought hadn't even crossed Harry's mind until then. Guess there'll be some upsides of this after all… "A few of the others have given me ideas, certainly,"Hermione continued, "but I just- these descriptions are so subjective, so vague. It's impossible to compare them definitively..."
"Hey, hurry it up." Aqua interrupted, before taking her loudest, most exaggerated yawn yet. "No matter what you pick, it's all the same. No-one's expecting much from a nerdy schoolgirl and an orphaned failure like you anyway."
"Hey! Don't talk to Harry that way!" Hermione huffed, outraged by this woman's disparaging words.
"Oi! I am NOT a failure!" Harry roared. "And my parents died to save my life!"
Aqua waved her hand dismissively, rolling her eyes. "None of that matters. Now, hurry it up. I've still got lots more deceased humans to guide, you know."
"Where do you get off?" Incensed, Hermione rose to her feet, glaring at her. "I don't care if you're a supposed 'goddess'- apologize, now. NOW!"
"Well, you know, you could help him to pick one, speed it up a bit. You know how long the queue behind the two of you is, how many people you're holding up?"
Damn her! Acting all high and mighty just because she's a goddess, and because she's a little bit pretty… Bad-mouthing my parents like that? Making out like their sacrifice meant nothing, just 'cause I died anyway? Broiling over with rage, Harry struggled to stop himself from lashing out at her, either with his wand or his bare hands. Then, the cogs turned in Harry's head, and he managed to hold himself back; a sadistic smirk eking its way onto his face as he came up with an idea. "'Hurry up and decide', huh? I'll do just that, then. Choose one thing to bring to this parallel world with me, right?"
"That's right."
"Okay- I pick you."
"About time." Aqua muttered, not even bothering to look up at him. Doing some sort of wandless magic with her hands, a runic circle sprang up around Harry, along with a shimmering, translucent barrier which pushed Hermione and the cards away. Suddenly weightless, Harry started to drift up off the ground. "Alright, stand there and don't leave the magic circle…" Aqua stopped abruptly, blinking as Harry's words finally registered. "What did you just say?"
"We have heard your request." Aqua, Harry and Hermione all whipped around, craning their necks to stare upwards at the speaker; another woman, considerably more modestly dressed than Aqua, with huge feathered wings growing from her shoulders like an Abraxan, gracefully floated down from above in a flurry of feathers.
"Who- who are you?" Hermione blurted out, gazing wide-eyed at the bona-fide angel descending into their midst.
"Thank you for asking, Hermione. I am Aether. And I will take over your job from now on, Aqua."
"I, I…" Aqua was still gaping like a fish, seemingly lost for words. Aether raised her own hand, and Aqua let out a scared shriek as another circle identical to the one around Harry sprang up around her as well, trapping her inside it.
"Harry Potter's wish complies with the regulations and has been accepted."
"Hey, what is all this! W-What? You've got to be kidding! No, no, no! Come on- This isn't right! Taking a Goddess with you is against the rules! It must be illegal! IT HAS TO BE ILLEGAL! WAIT! WAIT!" Drifting up off the floor along with Harry, Aqua screamed hysterically, frantically banging against the barrier with her fists and waving her hands around in an effort to undo the magic herself.
Touching down on the tiled floor, courtseying politely to both Harry and Hermione, the newly arrived angel, Aether, sat back in Aqua's recently vacated chair, smiling and waving at her. "Please have a safe trip, Aqua. Should you successfully defeat the Devil King, I'll send someone to pick you up, 'kay?"
"I may have the ability to heal since I'm a Goddess, but I have no fighting ability to speak of!" Aqua wailed, a veritable waterfall of tears now cascading down her face. "I can't- there's no way I can defeat the Devil King! Hey, wait…!"
"Heheh." Harry chuckled loudly, baring his teeth and grinning like a shark in Aqua's direction. "How does it feel to get dragged away with the guy who you treated like a total idiot? You've been designated as the one thing I'll be bringing along. So if you're a goddess, that means you'll have to use your godly powers or whatever to make things as easy as possible for me, right?"
"Harry? You're…" Scaring her. Scaring me… Struck speechless, backing away from the magic circles, Hermione looked back and forth at the two of them, Aqua and Harry. Blushing fiercely, and averting her gaze away from Aqua, when the 'goddess' floated up in the air high enough to give her a clear view up her revealing mini-skirt and she realized that the woman wasn't even wearing any panties. She'd never seen her best friend like this before; never even imagined that Harry could look like that. And while the 'goddess', Aqua, had been a right b-bitch (even saying it in her head, Hermione had to force it out, and felt guilty for thinking the dirty word), Hermione couldn't help but feel a bit of sympathy at the sight of the tears flowing from her eyes, and the expression of utter terror on her face, transfixed with fear and quivering at the mere sight of Harry's malicious death-grin.
"No! I don't want to go to a parallel world with a guy like this!" Aqua pleaded desperately, to no avail. Completely ignoring her, Aether turned to address Harry, still smiling softly.
"Brave hero, I pray that of the great many prospective heroes, you will be the one to defeat the Devil King- perhaps with the help of your friend Hermione. If you manage to do so, we will grant any wish you desire as a gift from the Gods."
Harry did a double-take, dropping the shark-grin for a look of astonishment. "Whoa, for real?!"
"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Aqua yelled angrily, tears still dripping from her face at her from the corners of her eyes.
The angel, Aether, spread her arms and wings out wide, opening up magic portals above Harry and Aqua. "Now, go forth on your journey!" She exclaimed.
"NOOOOOO! KYAAAAH…!" Aqua screamed at the top of her voice as she was sucked in, disappearing along with Harry. Both portals closed behind them, with the magic circles and the shimmering walls around them vanishing in an instant. Her heart pounding, Hermione reached into her pocket, clasping onto the familiar wood of her wand, before spinning back around to face down Aether, ready to draw it at a moment's notice. For her part though, Aether simply beckoned to her to sit down- with a sweep of one of her wings, and a flurry of an impossible amount of feathers, she summoned a desk in front of her chair, slightly reminiscent of the one in Dumbledore's office. Another wing-sweep, and all of the cards scattered far and wide across the floor by the havoc earlier flew across to her desk, sorting themselves out into five neat stacks.
"Please, Hermione, pull up a seat. Now, which special ability or item shall you choose to take with you, to aid you and your friend in your quest? There's no rush- take as long as you need to make up your mind. And if you have any questions or inquiries, please, don't hesitate to ask."
Author's Note: Alright guys, so here's the first chapter to this brand-new story, officially the very first Harry Potter/KonoSuba crossover fanfic ever. And yeah, I did pick that particular moment for Harry's death for convenience, with a few other factors in mind (most notably being able to bring Hermione along as well, as relative ages). Anyways, that aside, Hermione still hasn't chosen her magical item/ability yet, and while I've got my own ideas for what it might be, I'm open to suggestions if you've got any good ones in mind for her. Since Harry Potter isn't Kazuma by any stretch of the imagination (although their statistical abilities, pretty decent to average across the board in all aspects besides having absurdly high levels of luck, are incredibly similar), and he'll soon have Hermione there with him as well, things will pan out rather differently from the way they did in KonoSuba- but not as differently as you might think. This story's definitely going to have a Harry/Megumin pairing, but I just wanted your opinions- should it be an exclusive pairing, or as part of a Harry/Harem? And if the latter, who else should be in it? That's it for this chapter. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I hope to see you all next time!
(Also, I've posted this chapter, but I've got an absurd number of ongoing stories, so even though I've got this fanfic more or less plotted out already, don't slaughter me if I don't manage to publish the next chapter within the next week…)