Raido laughed and clapped his best friend on the back. "You never want to talk about it. Doesn't mean you shouldn't."
A drone of ambiguous conversation filled the bar, providing the men a modicum of privacy. Raido had yet to touch the bottle in front of him, contenting himself with watching Genma drain his second. While Raido couldn't put his finger on anything specific, Genma seemed different. The tokujo's face had grown a couple shades darker and his hair lighter from hours in the sun. But, something had changed in Genma's eyes.
"How was Suna?" Raido had plenty of other questions, but he didn't want to overwhelm Genma so soon after he got back. The tokujo had been out of Konoha for a couple of months, and probably had dozens of stories to share. A few years ago when Genma had gone on mission to Suna for two weeks, he'd come back claiming that the heat made it impossible for the women to dress decently, laughing that their skin tasted like sunshine. Raido feared the stories that nearly three months there had given the man.
Genma rolled his shoulders, a clear indicator of annoyance though the man tried to hit. "Hot."
Raido shook his head and lifted the drink. At this rate, he'd get through four or five beers before Genma said anything interesting. Instead of pushing for more, he drank while Genma knocked his bottle against the bar to indicate that he wanted another.
"It was hot, in the desert," Raido repeated after a couple moments passed, enunciating each word. "Groundbreaking observation, Gen. I'm surprised they haven't pulled you into the Intelligence Division yet."
"Don't call me that," Genma grimaced, then turned up his third drink in as many minutes.
Leaning an elbow against the bar, Raido turned to face Genma. All things considered, Raido was surprised that Genma hadn't drunk himself under the table yet. Though, he'd made a good start. Genma's entire life had changed in the blink of an eye. Then, he'd had to face Kakashi. Raido had bet Iwashi that the Hokage would punch Genma before the end of that encounter, but somehow the man had held his temper. Shaking away the thought of having to do all late-night guard duty for the next month, Raido focused on his friend.
"I've always called you Gen," Raido complained. "What's up with you? I mean, I know today was tough, but come on, this isn't like you." He stopped just short of implying that Genma should have come to expect that something like this would happen sooner or later, considering the number of women he'd slept with over the years. Raido wasn't sure that even he could avoid a fist in the mouth for being that bold.
It wasn't that Raido didn't care about Genma's problems, necessarily, more that Genma didn't usually care about them himself. For as long as they'd known each other, Raido had never seen his friend worry over anything. He'd always taken life as it came, reacting to whatever it threw at him without missing a step. Now, Genma looked like a man who didn't remember how to stand, much less walk. Genma rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, draining the remainder of his drink.
"You should probably slow down," Raido suggested, moderating his voice from the earlier playfulness. "If your goal is to get blackout drunk, let me buy you a bottle of something. We'll go back to my place." Genma didn't often drink to the point of losing control, but Raido suspected today would be the exception.
Genma shook his head, but Raido ignored his friend's attempted argument and ordered a bottle of sake. Two glasses later, Genma started looking like himself again. The haunted expression left his eyes, at least. No longer totally absorbed in his problems, Genma noticed the flirty smiles from the girl at the end of the bar. She'd been making eyes at him since they sat down nearly an hour earlier.
To Raido's shock, Genma didn't saunter over, throw an arm around her shoulders, and lay on the charm. In fact, he didn't even return her pretty smile. Genma glanced at her, inclined his head, then turned back to Raido. That's certainly new, Raido thought. He wondered if he dared suggest that Genma needed to get laid more than he needed the alcohol.
"So, what were the girls like there?" Raido elbowed Genma with a playful grin. He hadn't drunk as much as Genma, but still more than he should have. Already, a pleasant warmth suffused his body.
"Like girls anywhere else, I imagine." Genma lifted his third glass, then eased it back onto the counter. The man blinked a couple of times and shook his head. Raido sighed. Whatever was wrong with his best friend, it was going to take a while to sort out. But, with enough drinks and time, they'd get to the bottom of it.
Raido felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find a woman with a heart-shaped face and deep green eyes. She smiled at him while her friend, the blonde that had been staring at Genma earlier, leaned close to whisper something in the other man's ear.
When Raido invited Genma out for a drink, he had specifically chosen a bar that wasn't frequented by shinobi. He didn't think Genma was ready to face the fallout of what happened, not yet. Yes, he'd talked to Kakashi, which was a big step, but that still left Tsunade-sama. She'd been vocal about what she was going to do to his sorry ass once it got back to the village. Raido doubted that Genma had even thought about her yet. Best not to mention it now, especially since the night was finally looking up.
The woman with Genma ran her hand up his forearm, caressing his bicep while laughing at something he'd said. She pressed against his side, and Raido saw a flicker of something pass over Genma's face when the woman leaned in again. Her lips were impossibly close to Genma's ear, undoubtedly inviting him home with her, when all hell broke loose.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" A woman growled from behind Raido's shoulder. He turned to find Sakura looking between Genma and the stranger, voice trembling with fury. "This was more important than coming to talk to me?"
Raido cringed as Genma turned in slow motion, seeing Sakura for the first time since getting back to the village. Emotions flashed across the man's face too quickly to read, then his lips compressed into a thin line. The blonde rested her forearm on Genma's shoulder, long fingers brushing his collar bone. Genma seemed unaware of the action; Sakura was not. Her hand balled into a fist so tight that it started to shake.
The woman with Genma obviously didn't recognize the pink-haired kunoichi standing beside them. Sakura wore simple black pants and a red shirt rather than normal shinobi attire, but only a fool could miss the danger radiating off her.
Raido realized that this was probably more than a little his fault. He'd brought Genma out to drink after all, hoping to take his mind off things. "This one's on me, I caught him as soon as he left the Hokage's office and asked-"
"He is an adult," Sakura interrupted.
Genma cut them both off, words aimed at Sakura. "You've known for months, and you're pissed that I didn't come to you after a couple of hours?" Anger edged Genma's voice, but an undercurrent of something that sounded a lot like hurt ran through the question.
The flush on Sakura's cheeks could have been either anger or embarrassment. "You're already drunk?" She scoffed, ignoring the woman at Genma's side like an annoying fly. "This is exactly why I didn't tell you. What difference would it have made? You run from everything that gets too tough."
"I deserved to know," Genma spat back, closing his hand around his glass of sake. The pale liquid sloshed over the rim from the force of his grip.
"Well now you do." Ice twisted through Sakura's voice, contrasting sharply with the fire in Genma's. The buzz of conversation in the bar had grown quieter as the pair's words increased in volume. While this wasn't a shinobi bar, Sakura was a familiar face in the village and Genma and Raido were both in uniform. Raido needed to put a stop to the argument before it spiraled out of control. Only, he had no idea how.
Genma growled, low in his throat. "I found out from Kakashi. You fuc-" the man trembled, stopping mid-word to bring himself back under control. "You told him before you told me. Don't imply that I'm a coward when you took the easy way out too."
"You weren't here," Sakura started, but Genma slammed his hand on the bar hard enough to cut off her words.
"That's an excuse, and a pathetic one at that." Genma drew a deep breath, trying and failing to control his anger, shuddering under the strain. He'd definitely had too much to drink if he was already losing control.
Sakura crossed her arms over her chest. "You know what? All of this was a mistake; enjoy your night, Gen."
Genma didn't turn to watch her leave, didn't see the tears forming in her eyes, but Raido did. It didn't take long to fit the pieces together. So, that's the way the wind is blowing then, was it? And, she'd called him Gen at the end. Things started to make sense. Raido cast a glance at Genma. "You're going to regret if you don't go-"
A single glance from the assassin's eyes stilled Raido's tongue. The girl beside him, however, wasn't quite as adept at reading Genma's body language. She leaned closer and rolled her eyes. "No wonder you're out drinking if that's what you have to deal with at home."
Genma pushed the arm off his shoulder without looking at the woman, then finished his alcohol in one gulp. He shook his head, undoubtedly trying to clear the instant haze from his vision, then cursed under his breath and pushed himself to his feet. "Fucking heroes," Genma grumbled and started toward the door.
Genma stepped into the street, furious and more than a little drunk. Sakura would undoubtedly flee to her apartment, and Genma took two steps in that direction. They needed to talk, he needed answers that Kakashi couldn't provide. Genma and Sakura were both adults, they could figure out their next course of action. We could have done that months ago, if she hadn't been so selfish, the alcohol suggested. The argument turned Genma's feet in the opposite direction, toward home. He started walking.
In the whirlwind of facing Kakashi, then Raido wanting to drink it better, Genma hadn't been to his apartment. As he pushed open the door, the overwhelming scent of dust accosted him, hardly surprising after having been away for so long. The alcohol buzzed in the back of Genma's mind as he crossed the room and fell into a chair. His pack was somewhere, probably still in the Hokage's office. Maybe Raido would bring it to him tomorrow. It wasn't like it really mattered anyway. There was nothing in there except a change of clothes, a few weapons, and some bandages.
Closing his eyes, Genma leaned back and exhaled. The room spun and tipped around him, but he wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or the news. Sakura is pregnant with your child. Kakashi had said the words calmly, as if unaware that they'd sucked all of the air out of the room. Genma didn't know whether to laugh or cry so he settled on breathing and not thinking about anything.
Sakura looked nearly identical to the last time Genma had seen her, standing in front of the hospital all those months ago. She'd kissed him there, wished him good luck on his mission report, then she was gone. They'd shared three days together after a disastrous mission, then gone their separate ways. In typical Genma fashion, he fled for Suna the next day. Sakura had been right about that, at least; running was easier.
After the mission, Genma had told Kakashi the truth. He had needed space to clear his head; he just hadn't revealed the reason. There was no question that what he and Sakura shared was physical, not love. Those days had been desperation, loneliness, and simple desire.
A smile curved on Genma's lips as he pressed a hand against the fractured ribs that had only just stopped aching. Over the past couple of months, that sharp pain had reminded him of Sakura numerous times. She hadn't been the first woman to discover that Genma enjoyed things a bit rougher than average. But, there was something about the way Sakura had been surprised yet unafraid to use it to her advantage.
Genma recalled the last time they'd been together, the night before they'd made it back to the village. Sakura had reached toward the area she'd abused so often, and he'd winced before her hand made contact. She stopped short, then pressed soft kisses instead. Her caresses turned tender, though she'd still been impatient to have him. Above all, Sakura had been aware of Genma in a completely different way than the times before. When the urgency passed and they nestled beneath Genma's cloak, Sakura had offered to heal him. He'd pulled her closer, then kissed her into silence. She wouldn't understand his refusal any more than he did.
Banishing the memory to the past, Genma stood, stumbled toward the bathroom, and splashed water on his face. The rage of alcohol had begun to fade somewhat, as had the dizziness. Even so, Genma's chest ached and his head pounded. Raido had the worst ideas ever; drinking only made the events of today stand out more. Genma thought back to Sakura's face when she'd first seen him, surprised and hurt with a healthy measure of anger thrown in. She had fully expected him to come to her after being blindsided, when she hadn't even had the courage to tell him herself.
Swallowing the panic that clawed at his throat, Genma focused on the room around him. Sterile, clean, and untouched, like the rest of his apartment. Anyone could have lived here. If Genma died on the mission, they wouldn't need to remove much before the next tenant took over. Shinobi weren't permanent. Most died young, and fewer still lived the normal life that so many people took for granted. Genma had never wanted that. He took pleasure where and when he could find it. Worry, uncertainty, and fears about the future were for people who had a future. Genma was an assassin, guard, and shinobi; he wasn't normal.
But I could be, Genma thought. He rubbed his eyes and tried to push the thought away. It refused to go. Sakura is pregnant. The words repeated in his mind. Whether he accepted it or not, Genma was going to be a father. At least, he'd had a part in making the baby. Sakura didn't have to include him in its life. His chest ached dully at the thought as he walked back into the living room.
Sakura had come to him, wanting to talk about things, maybe even apologize, and he'd treated her like it didn't matter. But it did, it mattered as much as anything ever had. He'd spent his whole life running from things that were uncomfortable, but he needed to face this one head on. Sighing deeply, Genma stepped back into the night.
Genma's courage began to waver on the walk to Sakura's apartment. She had probably already gone to sleep, considering the time. And if she hadn't, she likely didn't want to see him. Genma walked past her apartment building once, stopped, then walked back. There were a few people in the streets, but thankfully, none of them greeted him. Running over his words for the fifteenth time, Genma climbed the stairs and knocked.
It took a couple of minutes before he heard movement on the other side. Then the door cracked open, and Sakura peered out. Tousled pink hair and red rimmed eyes told Genma that she'd been crying. He forgot what he'd been planning to say as Sakura looked up at him. She wore a black t-shirt that looked two sizes too big and grey pants that hung loosely off her body. Pajamas.
"Did I wake you?" Genma asked, beginning to wish he'd stayed home.
Sakura leaned one hip against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest. Genma thought he had grown used to the emerald intensity of her eyes, but they were brighter from crying. In the dim streetlights, they were reminiscent of sunlight on the leaves that gave the village its name. He'd missed that color, that reminder of life, while living in the desert.
"What do you want?" Sakura's voice sounded hoarse.
Genma meant to apologize, he did, but his mouth had other plans. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Sakura sighed, running a hand through her hair to clear the tangles. Strands fell around her cheeks, and Genma almost reached out to brush them behind her ear. "Why did you run away?"
"Because I had a mission," Genma answered, forcing his hand to remain still at his side.
"A mission you requested," Sakura countered, lips pinching together in annoyance.
Genma inclined his head. "I convinced myself that it would be easier for everyone if I went away while things blew over."
"Was it?" Sakura stared hard at Genma's eyes, and he felt like he was free falling.
Frustration bled into Genma's voice. "It should have been." He hadn't meant to say that, but he recognized the truth in the words as soon as they left his mouth. He also realized that he shouldn't have gotten this drunk, or, at least, he should have sobered up before coming here.
"I bet you say that to all the girls," Sakura murmured, glancing up through pink lashes.
An indecipherable whirl of emotions swelled inside Genma. Rather than trying to understand it, he said the first thing that came to mind. "There hasn't been anyone else."
Genma leaned closer to rest his forearm above Sakura's head on the frame. He half expected her to jerk away from him, but she remained still. He raised his other hand to trace the softness of her cheek. Sakura exhaled and squeezed her eyes shut, fighting something inside herself. Overhead, the buzz of the streetlight seemed louder than it should have.
Sakura's arms slid around Genma's waist, then she pulled him into a breath-stealing kiss. Warmth flooded his body, weakening his knees. Part of Genma's mind warned that he and Sakura were in full view of anyone passing by, but the warning refused to leave his lips. Sakura deepened the kiss, encouraging his response and Genma followed. When they broke apart, the world spun worse than it had all night. Sakura had the cheek to give him a shy smile. "Do you want to come in?"
"Do you really think that's a good idea," Genma breathed, lips brushing across Sakura's with each word.
Sakura exhaled. "No," she answered. "But, I don't care."
Kami-sama, neither do I.
Genma pressed closer. "I missed you." He knew that sex would only complicate the mess between them but the combination of Sakura and alcohol made it impossible to think.
"Prove it," Sakura challenged, pulling Genma into the apartment. He had just enough presence of mind to kick the door shut behind them before surrendering to Sakura's hands and lips.
Tenzo pressed the heel of one hand against the pain exploding from his lip. When he pulled it away, crimson smeared the skin. Shaking his head, Tenzo spit the coppery tang from his mouth and made an effort to stand despite the spinning forest.
Kakashi pulled Tenzo back on his feet. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard."
Tenzo laughed and spit out another stream of bloody saliva. "No, you meant to hit Genma a hell of a lot harder. But, I was closer, and stupid enough to spar with you tonight."
Even with the mask, Tenzo saw Kakashi's lips pull into a frown. Wondering if he'd said too much already, Tenzo pressed the issue. "Why did you recall him back to the village? You could have left him in Suna."
"Keep talking, and I won't apologize next time," Kakashi joked. At least, Tenzo thought he was joking.
Grasping Tenzo's chin, Kakashi tipped his head back to inspect the damage. He had reacted a fraction too slowly for the onslaught of Kakashi's taijutsu attacks. One slipped past his defenses, an accident. It had happened so often during their time in Anbu together that Tenzo didn't question it.
But, tonight's spar had been different. They weren't training for a mission or trying out new jutsu. No, this bout had been purely to burn off aggression and anger. Now that sweat and blood had been spilled, Kakashi would go one of two ways. He'd talk, or he'd blow it off. The man didn't have a middle ground when it came to dealing with problems.
Tenzo had given up on the former, when Kakashi spoke. "Genma had the right to know. She shouldn't have kept it from him in the first place."
It should have never happened in the first place, Tenzo thought, holding his tongue. He had begun to suspect that Kakashi might harbor feelings for Sakura that went deeper than friendship, just before she took the mission that led to this mess. He'd been in Kakashi's office the day that he found out, as well.
Tenzo had been badgering Kakashi for nearly a month to review the recommendations of shinobi for Anbu. One afternoon, Tenzo cornered him, refusing to take no for an answer. Too many ninja had been lost in the war, and the face of the world had changed. New needs had arisen, and the black ops had to adapt. Reconnaissance had become as important as battle prowess. While Tenzo had a few ninja that fit the description, half a dozen more showed the additional skills he was looking for.
"I think this one has promise." Tenzo opened the top file, a young man with shaggy black hair and green eyes. "He did well at the academy, but hasn't done much since. He has an excellent record on the type of missions that I'd need him for, though."
Three sharp raps on the door interrupted the rest of Tenzo's thoughts, and he glared when Raido peeked inside. "Hokage-sama," the man bowed both to Kakashi and Tenzo. "Sakura wishes to speak with you, if you have a moment."
Tenzo started to say no, but knew it was a losing battle. Kakashi leaned back in his chair and shifted papers to cover the file of eligible shinobi. It wasn't unusual for Sakura to stop by the Hokage's office. She would stay long enough to say whatever was on her mind, then return to the hospital. Kakashi and Sakura's relationship had evolved from student-teacher to close friends since the end of the war. By extension, Sakura had become friends with Tenzo.
Assuming the conversation would only last a few minutes, Tenzo faded toward the wall behind Kakashi's right shoulder. Sakura barely flicked her eyes in his direction before settling on the man behind the desk.
"I want to be removed from the active mission roster," Sakura blurted before Kakashi had the time to greet her.
Despite the urge to furrow his brow, Tenzo kept his face neutral. This had nothing to do with him; it was between Kakashi and Sakura. Kakashi leaned back and steepled his fingers in front of him without speaking. He excelled at using silence to make someone else speak. Sakura's jaw tightened stubbornly.
Kakashi gave in first. "You're one of the strongest medical nin that we have. You know that can be the difference between life and death in the field." Sakura nodded. She had parroted Tsunade's suggestion that medical nin always be part of the squad since the war. And, she'd personally organized better testing methods to ensure those with skill for medical ninjutsu received the necessary training.
Sakura shifted from side to side, then crossed her arms over her chest. "I know. I'll continue working at the hospital and help train the new medical-nin." Kakashi inclined his head, encouraging her to continue. "But, I need to be removed from the mission roster."
"Need or want?" Kakashi asked, voice soft.
Sakura huffed a sigh and rolled her eyes. "Both."
"Are you going to tell me why?" Kakashi laced his fingers together and placed his hands on the desk while looking at Sakura. Tenzo couldn't tell if the girl's attitude amused or annoyed the man.
"Does it matter why?" Sakura returned, shaking her head. "Can't you just trust me on this?"
To Tenzo's surprise, Kakashi rose and moved to the opposite side of his desk. He rested one hip against the edge. "I can."
"I'm requesting medical leave. I could have let Tsunade-sama send you a notice, but I wanted to tell you myself." Sakura turned toward the windows, running fingers through her hair.
"Tsunade approved it? That means she examined you and found cause for a medical leave." Kakashi didn't seem to realize that he was thinking out loud.
Sakura's foot beat out a staccato against the floor. Tenzo thought nervousness, or anger, might be the cause. Fear as well, by the way she chewed on her lower lip. Then she turned toward Kakashi. "I'm pregnant."
Tenzo's mouth fell open in slow motion as the rules of time altered around him. Sakura focused on Kakashi, either ignoring or forgetting about Tenzo all together. It could have been seconds or hours before Kakashi responded. He shifted, half sitting on the desk, one leg supporting his weight.
Kakashi exhaled. "Does Sasuke know?"
Sakura's eyes grew round, and her face paled. She hadn't expected those to be the first words out of Kakashi's mouth. He waited in silence, while Sakura stumbled over her words. "I'm-I-no, he doesn't know."
Kakashi nodded, reaching across his desk for a pen. "I can have Shikamaru recall Sasuke to the village. He's in the Land of Iron-"
"It isn't his." Sakura's words were soft but deadly, like a paper bomb that exploded far enough away that you couldn't hear it, but you could see the devastation. Tenzo's mouth dropped open further than he thought possible as the pen fell from Kakashi's hand. It clattered to the desk, splattering black ink across the papers.
Neither Kakashi nor Sakura moved or spoke. Tenzo wished he could use shunshin to escape the office without drawing attention to himself. He did not want to hear this conversation. While he had suspected there might be feelings between the pair, the thought that they were sleeping together never crossed his mind.
Sakura looked down at her feet and drew a breath. Tenzo had never seen her look more vulnerable. Sakura was still half a child herself, young enough to make a stupid mistake, but old enough to face it squarely. The woman's next words were a whisper almost too soft for Tenzo to hear. They weren't meant for him anyway. "I'm sorry, sensei."
"I'm not-you don't-" Kakashi cut off when Sakura crossed the distance and threw herself against his chest with a sob. He didn't seem surprised as he closed his arms around her.
Tenzo no longer cared if the couple noticed his departure or not, and used shunshin to flee into the hallway. Once there, he ordered Raido to turn away other visitors until Sakura left. The guard nodded without comment. Tenzo was thankful as he had no idea how to answer them.
Hours later, Tenzo found Kakashi by the trail of destruction. Dozens of trees had holes blown through them from the chidori that he wasn't supposed to use without the sharingan's aid. An equal number of trunks were charred from the effects of the purple lightning he'd developed over the past few years.
The red and white cloak of office lay on the dew dampened ground. Kakashi crouched beside it, sweat soaked and breathing hard. Blood covered his right hand, but Tenzo didn't ask what happened. He waited. The panting slowed then stopped, and the sweat dried before Kakashi stood up.
They didn't speak as Kakashi threw the Hokage's cloak around his shoulders. While walking back to the village, he'd revealed Genma's name, hand clenched tight in anger. Then, he'd growled that he didn't want to talk about it.
And they hadn't, until now. Tenzo watched Kakashi from the corner of his eye, wondering if he'd say more. The man shook out the hand that he'd hit Tenzo with and glanced back toward the village. "That's enough for one night."
"You know I'm here if you want to talk about it, right?" Tenzo asked, reaching for the weapon's pouch he discarded before their fight.
Kakashi rolled his neck from side to side, bones popping as he adjusted his armor. "There's nothing to talk about."
Tenzo nodded, respecting Kakashi's stubborn denial of reality. Eventually, he'd want to work through the situation and when he did, Tenzo would be waiting.