At that time, I was only vaguely aware of him. A Japanese skater. Yuuri Katsuki. A late bloomer, an up-and-comer. Those words were thrown around. Yuri didn't like him. That was it.

I watched him skate at the Final, as I did everyone, and felt a pang of sympathy. A skater with a strong form and step sequence who hesitated on his jumps and let his lack of confidence hold him back. Then he let his falls shake him and he spiraled. Poor Yuuri Katsuki.

I had won gold again and I was proud. My mind was on swapping remarks with Chris. On smiling at my public. On thinking about the future.

This season had barely felt like a surprise. A few were surprised by my music choice. Innocent they called it. Unlike me. The music was not innocent. The deep desire for a connection. Stay close to me. That was not a naive desire. It was one hardened by years of being alone.

I tried to shake it out of my mind.

I talked to Yuri and Yakov while we walked out of the arena. Yuri ignored my advice with confidence and I smiled a little. Watching Yuri grow was a fun experience. It was interesting to compare him to myself and watch for where he overcame me and where he made mistakes. I think we both make Yakov tired. Which was also funny.

I felt eyes on me and I turned.

Yuuri Katsuki. The boy who saw my glance and immediately blushed.

The blush made me smile and I turned toward him.

"Do you want a photo?" I asked and his eyes widened. I assumed he must be a fan because of his expression. The way he was looking at me like he admired me.

"Sure," I agreed to his lack of response, thinking he was just too shy to press me for one.

What happened after was my turning point.

It wasn't because he turned away. Unlike what most people think, I wasn't shocked because someone turned down a photo with me. I'm confident, but not that vain.

It was the look on his face.

I stood there, watching him walk away like everything was over. It was a pain every skater- probably every athlete in the world- understood. The pain of the ending.

Even watching it…. It made me feel heartbroken with him, and I wished to tell him not to let it happen. Not to give in here when things were bad.

But I didn't know him, and he was already gone.

There was always a banquet after the Grand Prix. I always went and viewed it like any other publicity, even though it wasn't about the press.

Being with other skaters was a version of publicity. The image they saw of me shaped a lot of things in my life.

Chris, though- the only foreign skater I saw as a real friend- seemed intent on having a good time and bringing me in on it. I knew he missed his boyfriend who couldn't be there so I went along. I wanted to cheer him up.

"Yuuri! Come on it's a party!"

I turned.

Oh. Yuuri Katsuki again. It looked like his coach had talked him into coming to the banquet but he looked miserable. I smiled a little pityingly. Part of me was glad he was here. If anyone needed this it was probably him, but I doubted he saw these people as friends at the moment.

He moved the corner near the champagne, and I turned away when Chris started to talk.

Occasionally my eyes would drift back to Yuuri, but he never seemed to have moved. Just standing near the champagne table.

"Viktor I have to beat you next season." Chris said. "Or I'm going to lose my chance."

I smiled. "Good luck with that. I won't make it easy for you."

"Of course you won't."

"Viktor!"

I jumped in surprise and looked around. I was stunned to find Yuuri Katsuki walking up to me. His cheeks flushed with alcohol.

"Shut up, loser." Yuri Plisetsky's voice cut through the crowd and he was suddenly at my side.

Yuuri's eyes swung drunkenly onto the blonde and narrowed. He stormed up to him.

"I was talking to Viktor! Haven't you had enough fun with me?"

"Hardly." Yuri spat back. "I can barely stand the sight of you."

"You think you're so much better than me. You're not even in the senior division yet, so shut up!"

"I could still wipe the floor with you!"

"Then prove it! Dance off. Right now."

"Dance off?" Yuri looked dumbstruck. "I'm not- hey!"

Yuuri dragged Russian Yuri onto the dance floor and I watched in rapt amusement. Shocked when Yuri actually started to dance in earnest. That boy really was competitive wasn't he?

I pulled out my phone.

Chris and I filled our phone with pictures and videos while we both laughed. Chris was dying to join in, and was seconds from asking me to use his phone to keep taking pictures. Yuuri Katsuki had started to loosen his clothes and Chris was not to be outdone.

Then…

"Viktor!"

Yuuri Katsuki's hand landed on my arm.

"Dance with me."

My eyes widened. I wondered how I had caught his attention again. I didn't question why I was happy I had.

"All right." I agreed with a cheeky grin. "You think you can beat even me?"

"I don't want to beat you." Yuuri replied and I blinked. "I want to dance with you."

My heart stuttered.

"Very well." I took his hand. "Dance with me, Yuuri."

Music started, something heavy and sexy. I moved and Yuuri circled me, and we moved like two parts of a machine, matched in purpose, reaching one goal. We moved together in and out and close and back and around each other. Then we touched. Arms glided together, and weight was shifted, and whether it was his or mine we moved together.

His arms caught me, and I looked up into his face. We were both smiling.

When was the last time my smile had been so wide it made my face hurt? When was the last time my heart beat so hard off the ice?

Then a nearly naked Chris found a stripper pole and the night became interesting in a very different way.

Yuuri could STRIP.

My phone came back out.

"Hey, Viktor."

Yuuri's arms were tangled around me, and I was looking down at him in surprise. His english faltered a little when he was so drunk, and he was still not wearing much.

His body gyrated against mine. I tried not to let it faze me, but my breath caught.

"My family owns a hot spring." Yuuri was saying in a barely understandable english "When the season is over you should come and visit."

My body warmed at the thought. I opened my mouth to respond.

"Hey, if I win this dance off… you'll become my coach right?"

I broke off and gaped at him. What?

He looked up at me with wide, albeit drunken, hopeful eyes, and then he was throwing his arms higher, around my neck.

"Be my coach Viktor!"

A blush rose on my cheeks and breath tumbled out of my mouth.

His head lulled on my shoulder and I was silent, because I wanted to say yes.

Maybe I was drunk too.

I never heard from Yuuri after that, and what started as a drunken dream was quick to fade.

I thought about him. Oh god I thought about him when I shouldn't have been. But I didn't have much time to spare on worry. I was submerging back into the current.

I had plans for the season, I had more to get done.

I skated, just like I always skated. Like it was everything, trying to startle all who watched me. Stay close to me. I threw everything into those words, I let them move me, drive me. I hardly even saw the competition behind me.

A strange performance for the Russian legend? How little they knew me.

I am not the same Viktor Nikiforov. I am reborn, I am always reborn.

This life was pretty fun though. For once I have something I'm afraid of losing.

I hope I meet Yuuri Katsuki in my next life too.

Those were the thoughts running through my head as I won the worlds.

Little did I know that on that night, halfway around the world, my new life had started without me.

"Victor, what are you thinking for next season?"

The questioned had been thrown around at every press conference I went to, and for the first time in my life I had no secretive smile to give them. No gentle innuendos about my future plans.

For once I felt blank.

I talked about it with Yuri who laughed at me.

"This from the guy who spent all afternoon practicing new choreography for next season."

Yes, I had been working on something. That was the problem. What I had been working on was all about love.

I had found a song, the only one that had inspired me at all because it was about the feeling of love, and had been arranged in two ways. One to express sexual love, and to be honest I had been drawn to that one at first. I pictured performing it with Yuuri Katsuki watching me. Showing him he wasn't the only one who could move like he was the hottest thing in the room.

But then I listened to the other version and felt conflicted.

Pure love, unconditional. It struck a cord.

What was it to love and be loved like that? To care for someone and want nothing back for it?

I had been toying with both arrangements. Wanting to make a statement in comparing the two. Maybe one as a short program and the other for the free skate? Hmm…. I stewed on it.

I usually wasn't so indecisive. I always knew what I wanted. Truth was that I still did but what I wanted was on the other side of the world, making no attempt to call me.

I shook my head and decided to go home.

Makkachin was thrilled to see me as usual. I decided to curl up with him for the rest of the evening.

My phone buzzed.

It was a message from Chris. Something about a viral video I just had to watch.

The title caught my attention but took me a moment to fully comprehend. "Yuuri Katsuki attempts Viktor Nikiforov's gold medal performance. [Stay Close To Me]"

I clicked on the link.

It was as it sounded. It was Yuuri, dressed casually in some small empty rink, skating along to the moves that I had choreographed and knew by heart- knew every difficulty of.

It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It was like having my heart answered by another heart. I would have felt happy, would have wondered if this was his way of reaching out to me- if not for the one other thought that crossed my mind.

This boy had never won a world or national competition. Why? My routine had won! If Yuuri could do it, could do it so well, then what the hell was the problem?

I was mystified.

Why was Yuuri not a world champion? Why was I not fighting him tooth and nail for the gold? Why had I never even met him until this year? What was holding him back THIS much?

I intended to find out.

It was a little hard saying goodbye to Yakov, but it was a little funny to see how surprised and flustered he was by the news.

I was going to Japan. It was another beginning to a brand new life.

"Huh?" A woman asked as I wandered into the hot spring resort that the internet directed me to. "You look strangely familiar young man."

My eyes widened, she sort of reminded me of…

"I'm sorry," I said in what little Japanese I had learned. "Are you Yuuri Katsuki's mother?"

The woman seemed more surprised but smiled. "That's right. How can I help you?"

I smiled back at her. "Do you have any rooms available?"

"Hmm? Well, yes."

"Then I'd like to check in."

Makkachin whined from where he still sat outside and I waved apologetically.

"He reminds me of our dog that passed away a while ago." Mrs. Katsuki said.

"Really?" I asked in surprise. "You had a poodle?"

"A miniature one. He was mostly my son's. Vicchan."

"Vicchan? What a cute name." I said warmly and she laughed.

"That was just his nickname dear. Short for Victor."

I paused in surprise.

She didn't seem to know who I was, but Yuuri… it can't be a coincidence can it?

"Then you really have great taste. My name is Viktor too." I told her and she laughed.

"Oh, a pleasure to meet you then, Vikchan!"

I blushed a little.

"It's freezing today, a cold front blew in." She told me with a gentle concern, "Why don't you go warm up in the hot spring for now?"

"I would like that." I said, and nerves twisted in my stomach.

The longer I was there, I grew closer to Yuuri. I wondered what he'd say when he saw me. I wondered what he'd been doing.

I followed where his mother showed me, unsure about asking where Yuuri was now. Besides I sort of enjoyed the thought of surprising him.

I change out of my clothes and got in a towel before heading to the outside spring. The inside one was more crowded and I preferred a moment to think.

What would I say to Yuuri when I saw him? 'I'm taking you up on your invitation?' That didn't seem like enough. It's as if I was just a friend stopping in.

Perhaps I was over-dramatic, but a reunion deserved at least SOME flair. A lasting impression. It was my new start after all, and I sort of wanted to impress him.

Suddenly I heard the sound of scampering feet, and the doors from inside were thrown open.I blinked in surprise. The boy who stood before me was not much like I remembered.

"Vik-," He rubbed his glasses, "Viktor… What are you doing here?"

I hesitated for just a second, taking in the blushing shy expression and the much softer body of the Yuuri in front of me. Then I slowly stood up and extended my arm, offering him a smile.

"Yuuri!" I said, giving in to the side of myself that loved to make an entrance. "Starting today I am your coach. I'm going to make you win the Grand Prix Final." and with that declaration, I winked.