Shortly after Parsons threatens the team and the three agents resign, an even bigger threat emerges, an elite team of rogue agents hellbent on eliminating Ziva David. Ziva and Tony disappear, and the rest of the team tries to pick up the pieces of their disappearance while attempting to neutralize the threat.

Post "Damned if You Do." AU

As a note: This story will eventually have smut. Not that anyone who reads my writing should be surprised by that, but just putting it out there.

May 2013

Her apartment was in a state of disarray when she opened the door and let him in, and Tony tried not to let the shock register on his face. Ziva rarely admitted anyone into her space when it was anything less than immaculate. He knew the telltale signs of something amiss, though, and he wondered if Ziva had planned to tell him what was going on before he'd decided to randomly stop by on his way back from meeting one of his buddies nearby.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he followed her to her bedroom, where she'd obviously been making one hell of a mess prior to his arrival, noting a bunch of articles of clothing strewn across her bed. It seemed like she'd been looking for something in her closet and had been haphazardly tossing things onto her bed until she found it, but hadn't bothered to put anything away. The fact that he was standing in her bedroom, an odd enough occurrence on its own, didn't even register.

"I am leaving," she answered simply, without bothering to elaborate. She opened up one of her dresser drawers and began to rifle through it. Leaving? He couldn't help but wonder about whether she'd have even told him if he hadn't stopped by when he did.

He stepped forward as he spoke. "I can see that you've made a mess, but leaving? Why?"

She stepped back from the dresser, turning to face him for the first time since he'd arrived, handing him a folded up piece of paper. Tony opened it, and several photographs of Ziva as she left the scene of Ilan Bodnar's untimely death dropped out. The paper merely bore the words, "YOU," and beneath that, writing in Hebrew which he did not understand, despite his attempts at learning the language. He could speak it well enough, but the alphabet had eluded him thus far.

"What's this?" he asked, his thumb pointing neatly at the Hebrew writing at the bottom of the page as he turned the sheet around.

"It is Widow. Israeli terrorist cell I'd long suspected to be in bed with Ilan, but I could not prove it. They are one of the main reasons I had warned my father not to trust him." She paused, waiting for a response, and continued when none came. "They have been responsible for several attacks on Israeli soil, as well as attempts at Israeli allies, such as the United States. So far, they have not been successful, at least not here in the States. My status as daughter of Eli David turned American citizen is likely a large reason they wish to kill me – not to mention the fact that I just took out someone of great importance to them."

"So you're running away?"

"You know as well as I do that they will stop at nothing to ensure that I'm dead. I am sure that I have always been a person of interest, but being responsible for Ilan's death is what set them after me. It does not matter that it was not my intent to kill him, only that I did, when he attacked me. And now that I no longer have either the badge or the protection of an American federal agency, they are out to kill me. I have no choice." She shrugged lightly and returned to her dresser drawer, as if she'd just told him that she was going for coffee later.

"You didn't do anything that any one of us wouldn't have done," he reminded her, exasperated that she was being so nonchalant about the whole thing. Trust Ziva to make something like a terrorist cell plotting to kill her as non-dramatic as possible.

She looked up at him again, asking, "Does that make it right?"

"Ziva…"

"Tony," she started to speak, then paused. "You and I both know that it was justified. You and I also know that I could argue self-defense." She paused again.

"But?" he supplied.

"But," she drew in a breath. "I know you don't put much stock into Gibbs' rules, but… think about number forty."

"Is that the one about it looking like someone is out to get you, so they probably are?"

"Exactly." She turned from him again, and continued to pull clothes from her dresser, tossing them onto her bed. "Tony, they aren't going to stop. I know who these men are. They are ruthless. They do not care for laws, or justice. They care only for vengeance. They're not going to give up until I'm dead. Ah! Found it!" She exclaimed, taking out a small satchel, not bothering to explain its contents to her partner. She took another deep breath, then added, "And I have spent more than enough time contemplating death, enough to know now that it is not my time. Help me put these things away?"

Tony cringed at the allusion to her summer spent in Saleem's camp, and how casually she'd brought it up, despite her earlier aversion to talking about it. Truth be told, he didn't like to think about how she'd once given up on life, even though he was grateful to hear that she no longer had any intention of letting death find her.

"So you're running away?" he asked again, this time more of a statement than a question.

"Do I really have a choice?" She watched as Tony's expression changed, that expression of determination, and he started to open his mouth as if to speak. "You can't protect me this time, Tony. As much as you and I both want you to."

"But–" She cut him off.

"Look at the situation without emotion. If you were not … close, if you did not … care … you would say that there is no way out." She knew that he thought with his emotions when it came to her, and that, despite everything, he believed that he could always protect her. "Can you honestly say that you – or anyone – can protect me?"

"Ziva," he started, but stopped. She was stubborn as hell, but she was also right, and he knew it. Maybe if they were still NCIS agents he'd be able to protect her, but their resignation had the unintended consequence of leaving Ziva wide open as a target. He couldn't exactly call in a protection detail. Ziva took the t-shirt Tony held out to her and returned it to her dresser, a knowing look in her eye, and Tony finally came to the realization that she was truly in danger.

"Where will you go?" He picked up another article of clothing, marveling at how odd the situation was, folding clothes and putting them away like it was nothing, when Ziva was planning what appeared to be an elaborate escape. She talked of these things like she was making small talk over coffee and brunch.

"You know I can't tell you that. Just by knowing, it puts you in danger."

"I'm not going to let you leave me if I don't know where you are. So I can at least check on you and make sure you're okay." She caught his eyes then, biting her lip when she saw the pain that registered on his features. She also knew that he would do anything to save her, even if it hurt him terribly. He had always been willing to sacrifice for her, even if it meant his own life.

"Tony." Her voice gave off a warning tone, which he ignored.

"No," he said firmly. He repeated it, quieter, "No. I already went through that hell four years ago. I have to know where you are."

"You would be the first person they would ask. They're not stupid, they will get at you first." It wasn't like she didn't want him to be in on it, but even taking the time to have this conversation between them was setting up a huge risk.

"You don't trust me," his accusation rang out, and Ziva cringed.

"I do trust you, you know that," she spat angrily. "What I don't trust is that these men won't torture you, won't harm you, and won't kill you just to try to get to me."

"Don't you think they'd do it even if I didn't know?"

She stopped short at his words. She hadn't considered that he might not have information to give but they'd still harm him regardless. "You didn't think of that, did you?" He accused. She cursed inwardly, biting her lip to keep from speaking the word out loud.

"I did not," she admitted, her cheeks flushing. She should have thought of that though. Damn it.

"So either way, you leave, I'm screwed." He paused, walking toward her and grabbing her arms in his hands. "On top of the fact that I don't know what on earth I would do without knowing you were safe, or … what I would do without you here," he admitted, without stopping to think about the ramifications of his words.

"Tony," she said softly, her words another stunned warning – a warning not to go there. Not now. And there it was – another thing she hadn't considered – how much she would miss him, too. She had to admit, even now, that she'd merely put the thought out of her mind whenever it had tried to wedge its way in since the moment she'd gotten the photos and decided to leave. This was no time to get emotional over an attachment she'd always sworn she'd never make.

"You can run away, Ziva. You're right, it's the only way, going into hiding. I just don't know how I will live knowing that you're somewhere, anywhere, on this planet, and I won't be able to ever contact or see you again." His honesty surprised her, and she was unable to stop her mouth from falling open just slightly as she considered what he'd just said. Admitted, actually.

I feel that way, too, she thought to herself, but couldn't voice it, not now. Not when everything was up in the air and the fact was, she might never be able to contact him again, not as long as Widow was after her. "I thought I could run away. I did not consider that with me out of the picture, you would become their next target. How could I leave you to die on my behalf?" She sighed lightly, shaking her head sadly. "I cannot let you do that again."

"Ziva," he began, but didn't know what to say. There she was again, bringing up Somalia, and there she was again, trying to convince him that he shouldn't be so willing to give up his life for her, should the need arise. "You need to stop trying to keep me from helping you. Let me help. Please."

"You know, I always thought I would be able to leave any place behind with no strings attached," she spoke, looking at him earnestly, choosing to be open. "But it is not that simple."

"You're not that person anymore," he whispered gently. "You formed attachments. You care. It's okay to admit that, you know."

She chuckled inwardly, heaving a sigh of resignation. "I do care. More than I ever thought I could." A tear she hadn't even felt welling up rolled down her cheek, and Tony pulled her to him, wrapping himself around her, holding her and silently promising her that he would never let her go. They'd figure something out, something else.

They stood together for several minutes, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and his around her back, his hand providing reassuring strokes as she melted into his arms, leaning on him for the comfort she'd almost managed to convince herself she wouldn't need.

"So now what?" he asked, not bothering to pull away. She would stay, wouldn't she? They'd figure something else out, because they always had before. They could go to Director Vance and ask for his assistance, or find out where Gibbs went. Something. Anything. As long as she didn't leave.

She stilled in his arms for a moment, before pulling away and wiping her tears with the back of her hand before placing it gently to his chest, determined. "Come with me."

That was not what he'd been expecting to hear. "What?"

"You said it yourself. They will stop at nothing, torture you, they will not be able to pursue me so they will pursue you. They surely know how important you are to me. I cannot leave knowing that by doing so, I will have sentenced you to death."

"So don't leave then," he said, exasperatedly. There was no response, only the quick turn of her head and a glare. How could he just leave? Just walk away from DC, from everything he'd ever known? What if they could have gotten their jobs back? How could he just leave it all behind, go on the run with Ziva and just forsake everything? His heart began racing at the thought of giving everything up. Everything.

But how could he let her go alone, knowing that he couldn't be there to protect her? Never knowing if she was okay, or even alive? She wouldn't stay, that much was clear from the determination in her eyes, and if she wouldn't stay here and let him try to find another way to help her, then he was going to have to follow her. He'd done it before, and he'd always known that if he had to, he'd do it again. "Damn your stubbornness," he muttered, but he'd made up his mind.

"My stubbornness is going to save your ass," she responded shortly. "Both of our asses. Now are you going to come, or not?"

He followed her to the ends of the earth once already, and at least this time, he'd be there with her the whole time to make sure she was safe. He couldn't let her walk alone, even knowing that she was perfectly capable of caring for herself, even knowing that she didn't need his help. He couldn't live with himself if he let her walk away without at least trying to protect her, and he suspected that she'd maintain her own peace of mind if she knew that he would be safe, as well.

"I'll come. What do we have to do?"

I have been working on this since before we knew that Cote wouldn't be returning, and so it has been a long time coming for me to post this. This fic has 31 chapters and I plan to post every four days, so you'll see the first update for this fic on Friday, February 3. Thank you for reading and I hope you'll come along with me on this (very long) journey.