Of Worried Gingers and Cool Adventures

Chapter 3: The Dork and the Lumberjill

The two of them ran through the woods. They dodged around trees, slipped on centuries of pine needles in places, raced down the sides of gullies, toiled up the far side, and ran on—and on.

"Keep up dude!" Wendy yelled as she looked over her shoulder at the friend struggling behind her.

"Wendy—huff—please—huff!" Dipper wheezed as he ran closely behind her—although "run" might not exactly be the correct term for what he was doing because it was more of an "Awkward stumble at a high pace".

"I thought you said you've been jogging, dude!" Wendy yelled with a big grin on her face as she came to a halt between two blossoming trees and turned around to wait for him.

Out of breath, Dipper kept stumbling "You call this jogging? This is sprinting, Wendy! Besides, my backpack is almost as heavy as I am."

She laughed at that, but really his backpack was nearly as tall as he was. "I doubt it! But why'd you pack so much stuff then, you dork?"

Dipper staggered a little under the weight but kept his pace up, wanting to reach Wendy before he could fully stop and rest. "Mainly it's the Journals. I need them—huff—if we find something I need to document."

Unfortunately, his toe caught on a root he hadn't noticed. The trip caused him to tumble forward. Wendy's mouth formed a perfect O-shape as she looked while Dipper spun in the air with surprising speed and height. He let out a panicked yelp before he faceplanted on the ground with a loud "Omph!"

She stepped back as he slipped on the pine needles, leaving a dark track up to her feet. She reached down to help him up. "Nice landing, dude!"

Dipper didn't even try to raise his face from the earth. "Hnks, Hndy."

"C'mon, man, take my hand if you need help getting up."

"Nhm, nt's nky." He managed to raise his scratched face from the ground and coughed up a lump of leafmould. "I mean that's OK. I'm good. Just please let's rest."

Wendy relented. "Sure thing, dude." She sat next to the boy sprawled in the dirt. "Sorry for laughing, man, but that was kinda spectacular."

His breathing gradually became regular, but then she heard Dipper squeal her name.

"Sup?"

"I've reconsidered. Please would you get this darn heavy backpack off me?" he asked, his voice nearly a groan.

"Of course" She got up and grabbed the bag. "Woah, dude! This bag is super heavy."

"Yeah, it was crushing me." Dipper rolled over and took a few grateful deep breaths before he responded: "Told you it weighed a ton." He struggled to his feet, wiping dirt from his face which still glowed red. The combination of bloody scratches from the rugged ground and the embarrassment of this failed athletics made him look like he was blushing like an embarrassed ten-year-old girl.

Wendy sat with her back resting against the rugged trunk of a tall pine. "You OK man?"

He was rubbing his chest with both hands. "Think so. I thought the bag might have broken some of my ribs, but I guess it's just bruises. Sorry about that," he said with a sour grin. "I realized I wouldn't catch up by running, so I thought I'd take a different approach!"

Good. He was still able to joke, which meant that he had damaged his pride more than his body. Wendy let out an impressed whistle as she looked from the root that had tripped her younger friend to the skid marks his body and face had left behind. "Yeah, man, but I think you set a record for the face-down dirt slide. Look at that distance! I'm not even sure I'd be able to jump that far."

Dipper chuckled. "Yeah, my physical ineptitude knows no bounds."

Wendy punched his arm. "Yeah man, you'd rock at the triple trip-jump Olympic event. You'd probably get the gold, man."

They both laughed a little. Dipper's trapper's hat—the one Wendy had traded to him for his pine-tree cap—had fallen off, and she stretched over to pick it up. She slapped it against her leg, scattering the dirt and pine needles it had picked up and then clapped it down on Dipper's head. "That's better, dude."

"Thanks," Dipper said, adjusting it. "OK, guess we should go." He reached for the backpack.

She grabbed it first and shouldered it onto her own back. "I'll take it for a turn, dude. And we can walk from here on. We should be close, right?"

Dipper looked around. He knew these woods pretty well from last year, and he seemed to get his bearings. "Yeah, I think so."

It was a beautiful day in early spring, nice and warm when you stood in the sun, but pleasantly cool when you walked in the shadows. It was the perfect day for a hike, or a stroll, or, in their case, an adventure—their first one together in nearly a year.

Dipper had begged his parents to let the twins return to Gravity Falls during their spring break week from school. Mabel had contributed, showing off her best puppy-eyes in an effort to convince their parents. After three or four discussions, Mr. and Mrs. Pines had finally given in and allowed the twins to return to their favorite place on earth for a week of amazing adventures. And then, of course, it would be back to school in Piedmont for them until June, when they were set to come back for another summer in the Mystery Shack.

Mabel had begged their parents as much as Dipper had, but since she had missed her people—mainly Candy and Grenda—she was staying at Grenda's for the entire week for a marathon sleepover with her two best friends.

When he'd invited Wendy to go along on this mystery quest, she'd been surprised that Mabel wasn't coming, but he explained. "Thank heavens they're not sleeping over at the Shack," he'd told her. "Or anywhere close to it."

"Yeah, but I bet that attic bedroom's lonely, right?"

Dipper shrugged. "Soos had it all fixed up for the two of us, but I do OK on my own. I do get more sleep without three girls grabbing me for an instant makeover!"

As they walked further into the woods, Wendy confessed to Dipper, "I was like super stoked when I heard you guys would be here for a whole week. Writin' letters and texting just ain't the same, man."

"I know," Dipper told her. "Thanks for keeping me up to date on all the stuff going on in the Mystery Shack and in Gravity Falls. Sorry I couldn't find anything really interesting to write about Piedmont, but you know, it's basically just where people come home to sleep every night before going off to their jobs again."

Wendy said, "I dunno, Dip. I really liked hearin' from you, like every day. I never erased any of your texts from my phone."

"Huh," Dipper said. "I should have thought of that."

But in fact—he had.

From the text history of Dipper Pines:

Wendy: Woah dude! U guys are coming up next week? Sweet! I was afraid I was going to have to wait till summer to hang out and go on more adventures, dude!

Dipper: I know right! It's so boring here, I can't wait to go back.

Wendy: Tell me about it, dude, things have been kinda lame here as well. None of the gang ever wants to join me mystery hunting cuz they never think it's interesting. How'd you always find something cool and mysterious dude?

Dipper: I dunno, luck I guess

Wendy: Nah dude, those things are just attracted to you, man! ;p

Dipper: 'S that your way of asking me to ask you to go mystery hunting together?

Wendy: Mmm, like to, Dip, but I got school stuff to catch up on during my break. Barely have any free time.

Dipper: Oh, ok, too bad…

Wendy: DUDE! I'm kidding man! We should totally go mystery hunting together

Dipper: Geez Wendy, please don't ever scare me like that ever again xD

Wendy: Can't promise anything dude ;p

Dipper: At least promise to go mystery hunting with me?

Wendy: That I can. Hey, do you still like horrible horror movies?

Dipper: You know I do

Wendy: Well I got a pile of 'em laying on my shelf and I don't want to watch them alone, you know?

Dipper: Movie night?

Wendy: Movie nightS dude

Dipper: Awesome! You got "Busterghosts II: the Rehauntening"?

Wendy: Top of the pile man!

Dipper: Sweet! I'm so stoked dude!

Wendy: Me too man, me too

All that, and more, Dipper had stored safely in his phone to read over from time to time—like the goodbye note that Wendy had passed him on the day they had left Gravity Falls back the previous September.

Now he and Wendy walked through the woods the day after the bus had dropped the twins off at the station, which was also the day after their first movie night in nearly a year. They had run or walked for hours, and the sun shone low in the sky, its beams slipping through trees that were regrowing their leaves after a harsh Oregon winter. Around them, birds chirped everywhere, and they kept glimpsing a fox—or maybe more than one—scurrying in the underbrush, hunting for food. A perfect day, Wendy thought, with the sun and shadow dappling the trail and the temperature just right.

"I missed these woods so much," Dipper said.

"Yeah, reminds me of BusterGhosts II: The Rehautening," Wendy said. "That lunatic asylum off in the spooky woods."

"Chadley!" Dipper said with a laugh. "Of all the ghost hunters in the movies, he has to be the dumbest!"

"Yeah," Wendy agreed. "Like, why would he and his buddies go into that haunted asylum without their equipment if they already knew it was haunted?" Wendy threw her hands up in frustration. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"Because," Dipper started as he changed his voice to match the incredibly dumb portrayal of a college student by a man in his thirties, "Nawwww, buddies! I gawt dis, I got's me muscles to deal with dem scary specters!" He imitated the third rate actor's voice quite well and even made the same dumb flexing movements the actor had made.

"Hah! Perfect, dude!" Wendy said, giggling. before continuing the interaction they had witnessed the night before. "But Chadleyyyy! It'z so scary and dark in theeeere! And the prom is tomorrow! Gack!" Wendy pretended to stick her finger down her throat and mimed throwing up.

"You make a good bimbo!" Dipper exclaimed. They both doubled up with laughter and had to hug a couple of trees to keep themselves from falling over.

When his laughter eased off, Dipper shook his head. "Man, those characters are just the perfect portrayal of Hollywood-type teenagers. I mean, they're stereotypes of the stereotypes."

"I know, right! Dude, my theory is that the screenwriter was super drunk or high or something. At least we learned from their mistakes."

"Yeah! If we find an abandoned asylum, I'm not going in there without bringing my equipment."

"Yeah, and I won't drag you down by whining about some stupid prom or whatever."

They came into another clearing, and Wendy straightened her back—the backpack weighed her down—and stretched. "Man, this week is going to rule!"

They walked on, laughing and joking about the many different ways "BusterGhosts II: The Rehauntening" had redefined the word "dumb". Still, it had definitely been the best movie to launch a week of B-movies and adventures.

They arrived at a bigger clearing in the woods and Dipper suddenly halted as he looked around. "I think this is the spot."

Wendy looked skeptical. "Looks like the others to me. You sure?"

"I think so, I'd be sure if-ah!" Dipper bent over and picked up a tiny piece of broken string. "Yeah, this is definitely it." He said in a confident tone. "The gnomes used this string to tie up Mabel when they kidnapped her."

Wendy tried to take a piece of string from her friend, but it broke at the slightest touch. "Weak, man. Why'd they tie up someone with this? 'Specially someone more than twice their size."

Dipper shrugged. "Let's just their intellect is... limited, for a lack of a better word. Yes, this wouldn't hold anything bigger than a fly—but then they used a lot of it."

Wendy snickered as she recalled her own experience with the gnomes as she, Mabel, and Mabel's friends went on a quest for unicorn hair. "I gotcha, man. Gnomes are like so easy to trick. So, why are we here again?"

Dipper was glancing into the underbrush that edged the clearing. "Ford has been sending me e-mails with updates from his newest journal. He and Stan are currently somewhere in Europe, and one of the updates said something about the strange behaviors of leprechauns in Ireland during twilight this time of year. So I wanted to check if there was a similar strange thing going on with the gnomes in Gravity Falls."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "This is Gravity Falls, man, strange is the norm here. What kind of things do you think the gnomes are up to?"

"Well, Ford mentioned something about chanting and ancient rituals. He tried to record it but then one of the leprechauns noticed Stan stealing a pot of gold."

Wendy threw back her head and laughed. "No way!"

"Stan would've said 'permanently borrowed' but yeah, they had to split pretty fast after that. Leprechauns are apparently very serious about their gold and rituals."

"That old geezer never changes does he?"

"I hope not," Dipper said with a chuckle as they both imagined the older Pines twins being chased by a group of angry pint-sized twerps.

Wendy set down the backpack. "Here we are, then. So what's the plan, Professor Dork?"

"Well... If I'm right, this is the spot where they gather most often. So if they are going to be performing any kind of ritual, it's going to be here. Now we need to find a good hiding spot in a bush or something we could observe them."

Wendy shook her head. "What, hide low to the ground when the guys we're hiding from are like a foot tall? Dude, your survival skills suck!" Wendy playfully shoved the trapper hat down to cover his eyes.

He pulled it back up as his cheeks turned a nice shade of red again. "All right then, Professor Lumberjill, how do you propose we best 'survive' this situation?"

Wendy put her fists on her hips and shot her friend a semi-intimidating glare. "Ok! Listen up, Private Dork!" She practically yelled in a voice oozing authority.

"Private Dork?" Dipper sputtered "I thought I was Professor Dork."

Wendy continued her sergeant act: "Not when you're under my command, private Dork!"

"Sir, yes, sir." Dipper said with a scowl.

"Good! Now! The first thing we want to do is get familiar with the location of our expedition! Where are the enemy's points of entry? Where are their escape routes? Where will they be standing during their ritual? Will they be on high alert? Will they have patrols? Where will those patrols be positioned?"

The newly appointed Private Dork thought about her questions for a moment while wishing he had a pen to chew on. He looked around the clearing before turning back to his commanding officer. "I have the answers!"

"'I have the answers'- what? Private?" Wendy yelled, trying to look as stern as possible.

"I-I have the answers, sir!" Dipper squealed.

"Let's hear them, then!"

"Uh, ok, in order: everywhere, everywhere, ...everywhere, yes, probably ...and everywhere." Dipper shrugged. "There are, like, a lot of gnomes, sir!"

"Excellent! So what would happen if we just hid in some bush on the ground?"

Dipper's expression showed a dawning realization. "We'd be found instantly, sir."

"-and what would happen then, private?"

"Don't know. Nothing good, sir!" he admitted.

"Right! So what would be our best course of action for this expedition?" Wendy asked, not able to keep back a smile.

"Well..." Dipper started as he looked around the clearing again "Hm. gnomes are really small, so they'd find us instantly if we stayed one the ground. But if we camped out in a tree, we'd be too high up for them to see us or even catch us if they do find us."

"Exploring the enemy's weakness! Devilishly excellent Private Dork!" Wendy said.

"Thank you, sir." Dipper said with a big grin.

Now dropping the act, Wendy shaded her eyes and scanned the surrounding trees. "So which one do you think is best?"

"Well, let's see... That one doesn't have enough branches to provide a good spot, that one is too thin to even support both of us... ah! That one!" He said as he pointed towards a towering oak at the edge of the clearing. "It has a good cluster of branches up high enough to see the entire clearing and conceal the both of us."

Wendy ruffled his trapper hat. "Good job, dude! That was the exact spot I had my eye on."

"Haha, thanks," Dipper said, hoping she wouldn't see his face redden again as she complimented him.

"Hey, Dip, if you like this sort of stuff, you should totally come with for the next annual Corduroy apocalypse training next Christmas."

"I'd probably die before nightfall." He said. "No muscles, and I'm used to California Christmases, which aren't usually under a blanket of snow."

"Nah man, You'd do great! You survived Wierdmageddon long enough to find me, and it's basically 80% intuition and mindset anyway," she said cheerfully. "Though a bit of muscle wouldn't hurt. You know what? I'll show you some basic exercises. If you do those daily, you'll be set for the Corduroy apocalypse training in no time!"

"I'll think about it."

She nudged him. "'Sides, It would be a lot more fun with you there, dude."

Dipper smiled at Wendy's persistence to involve him in her family rituals. But he had an immediate problem to worry about, and it lay due up. "So how do we get up there, Professor Lumberjill?" Dipper asked.

"Well... If it was last summer, I would probably be able to throw you up there," She said with a teasing smile "but you've grown up too much since then, you're like 10 inches taller now than you were last summer!"

"That's what puberty does, " Dipper said, failing to hide the pride he felt that Wendy had noticed he had grown. If he looked straight ahead, his eyes met Wendy's mouth instead of just below her shoulders (and ...uh...other...areas around that height).

"Hah! You guys have it easy, dude! You don't even know the half of all the horrible things puberty does."

"Huh?"

"You'll find out, man. Just take good care of your sister, ok? She's gonna need it."

"I always try to," Dipper said, even though he didn't quite understand. He figured it was one of those things that would explain itself with time—or else Mabel would make it clear—so he just shrugged it off and turned his attention back to the cluster of branches at least 20 feet above the ground.

"If I can make it to the first branch, I think I can climb to that."

Wendy raised an eyebrow at him as a devilish smile curled her lips upwards.

Dipper sighed. "You're still thinking of throwing me up there aren't you?"

"Dude, just imagine it!" Wendy said. "I could like hold your arms an' swing you around in a circle three or four times to build up momentum, like an athlete doin' a hammer throw, and then—"

Dipper cut her excitement short: "No thanks, Wendy." He rubbed the scratches on his cheek. I've had enough air-time for one adventure."

Wendy crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip. "Yeah, ok, fine...what are you smilin' at, dork?"

"You just reminded me of Mabel. She pouts just like that if she can't get something she really wanted."

"Pout?" Wendy pretended to sound insulted.

"No, no, I meant it in a nice way!" Dipper said. "I mean, when you do it it's cute!"

Wendy let him off the hook and grinned. "It's OK. Look, if I boost you up to the lowest branch, I think you could climb up. I could stay behind you to catch you if you fall. How's that?"

"Cool, thanks"

"Buuuut that would be lame, So I'll follow you closely and pinch your butt if you're too slow!"

"Wendy! I'd fall if you—please don't!"

"All right, I'll give you a 15-second head start before the butt pinching begins."

"Come on! You're so much faster—you're like the state champion tree climber!"

In a firm voice, Wendy insisted, "Fifteen!"

"Wendy, c'mon!" Dipper pleaded.

"14! you'd better hurry up, dude." Wendy crouched and made a stirrup of her hands. "C'mon! Better let me boost you up!"

"OK, OK!" Dipper put his right foot in the hand stirrup, Wendy straightened, and raising his arms, Dipper just managed to grab hold of the lowest branch. He scrambled up, stood on that branch and reached up again. The next one was in easy reach.

Below him, Wendy counted: "Twelve! Eleven! Ten!"

Dipper climbed at a steady pace—though he knew his companion would practically scamper up twice as fast as he could manage. He could hear Wendy laughing below him. "Eight! Doing great, Dipper! Hey, you're halfway up! Don't look down! If you fall, I'll catch you, but you're still gonna get your butt pinched!"

Dipper panted, "Thanks for the encouragement, Wendy, but I still feel pressured!"

"Then hurry up, ya dork!" Wendy yelled as she looked at her younger friend climbing up the tree with all he had. She hoisted herself up onto the lowest limb but waited to see how Dipper was doing. His climbing looked a bit awkward—well, Dipper was a bit awkward in general, and probably not used to his longer arms and legs. Her boy had grown quite a bit since his first stay in Gravity Falls.

Above her, Dipper couldn't resist a quick look downward. He wondered why Wendy had stopped her countdown of doom as he noticed her looking up in his direction seemingly deep in thought. The other thing he noticed was that he had certainly passed the halfway point now. Suddenly he wanted to grab hold of the trunk, close his eyes and just cling there. "I'm kinda high up!" he called, trying to make it sound like a joke, but it came out squeaky.

He looked back at Wendy, who had a big grin on her face as she continued to stand there deep in thought. He'd seen that face on her often enough, it reminded him of when she was daydreaming while sitting at the counter of the gift shop, the look she had when you'd need an airhorn to wake her up. That look on her face pushed most of his fears away and he was more determined than ever to reach the top before Wendy finished her countdown. It was just 5 more branches until he would reach the cluster they had chosen to use as their hiding spot.

Wendy suddenly realized she was not paying attention to the present as she saw Dipper hastily climbing up the last few branches.

"Oh no, you don't!" Wendy yelled loudly as she grabbed hold of the branch above her "fivefourthreetwoonego!"

Dipper flinched. He cracked his eyelids open and saw her climbing up almost as fast as she could run on level ground. "Wendy, please don't!"

Wendy would've probably been able to climb the tree without any effort and her hands tied behind her back. But she felt like taking this seriously, both because she enjoyed putting a bit of fear into Dipper and because she liked it when he looked at her like she was the most amazing person in the world. So she dashed up the tree using all the skills the years in the woods had taught her. She found the grooves in the bark and used the tips of her fingers to propel herself forward as she used her legs to launch herself from the branches. To say she was fast would be an understatement. The woods of Gravity Falls were her stomping grounds, and in them she was lightning.

Dipper clenched his teeth and pulled himself up once, twice, three times, and then he had only two more branches, but he was dripping with sweat. Wendy would be on him in a second, and she'd pinch his butt—but he saw one risky chance.

He positioned himself, planting his feet firmly on the branch as he heard Wendy right below him. It was now or never. He swallowed hard, focused on the cluster above him. and jumped—

For a moment he hung in the air, without any contact with the tree, dangling in the air like an astronaut who'd lost contact with his spaceship. His hands quickly found the closest branch of the cluster he was going for. His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around the branch as if it was a safety ring in the pool.

He'd hoped to haul himself up to the finish line, but his arms, strained from the climb, wouldn't cooperate. The best he could do was cling there, swinging, his feet in the air. He waited for his fate, clenching his butt muscles, waiting for the inevitable.

Waiting . . .

"Nice job dude!"

Wendy's voice came from...above him?

"Wait, what?" Dipper carefully opened his eyes to see his Lumberjill friend lounging on a branch in the cluster. She had dashed around him while he had made his leap of faith and silently placed herself on the cluster when he had his eyes closed.

Dipper's cheeks turned red as he realized he was hanging from a tree branch in what must have been quite a lame way in front of the lumberjack queen herself. Wendy looked down at him with a giant grin and casually waved at him. "Hiya Dip," she said cheerfully.

"Hiya Wen," Dipper replied, his voice that of a five-year-old caught by his mom while scribbling on the walls. "Uh. I lost, huh?"

Wendy laughed. "What are you talking about, dude?" You made it to the cluster before me, even if you're just hanging on. You won, man! Your butt would've been 100% pinched if you hadn't."

Dipper let out a relieved sigh. "Cool."

"Look, seriously, man, you climbed all the way without help and did it in decent time. Your leap there at the end—badass! I could climb a tree like this when I was eight, but your dad probably didn't hide your lunch at the top of some random tree every day to force you to practice!"

Dipper interrupted his friend's excited rambling: "Thanks, Wendy, but could you please help me up? my arms feel like they're going to pop off." He flashed her a pleading smile

"Of course, dude!" Wendy said, reaching down to seize his wrist and hoist him up to her level. "Seriously, man, I'm proud of you."

He got his feet on the branch where she stood. "Don't let go yet!"

"Just get your footing, Dipper. You'll be OK."

"Think I'll sit." Dipper caught his breath as settled on the thick branch while leaning on another one a little above and behind them, letting his feet dangle in the air. She sat next to him.

"Can we pick a good spot or can't we?" Wendy asked.

That was true: from this concealed place they could look down at the clearing and see nearly everything down there. The tree towered tall enough for them to watch the sun sinking toward the mountains in the distance. Soon it would drop out of sight. Already the sky around it was orange and blue, and between their tree and the mountains, the sun had made the treetops golden. They both just looked at the sight in awe, a comfortable silence that was only possible when both people knew no words needed to be said in that moment.

Dipper was the first to break the silence: "It's beautiful up here." It came out as a whisper, full of melancholy.

Wendy nodded. "Yeah, I know, man. I love the woods."

"I missed this so much."

Wendy asked, "You don't have sights like this back in Piedmont?"

Dipper chuckled slightly "No, we don't. We're pretty close to the ocean, and it's usually kind of dry. No big forests, just miles and miles of houses and businesses and highways. But I wasn't only talking about the scenery."

Wendy tore her gaze away from the woods and glanced at her friend. She wasn't sure whether he meant to say that out loud, and she expected him to start blushing and stammering trying to explain himself.

But he only gazed at the beautiful sky with a little smile on his lips that had just a hint of sadness. The way the sun shone down on his face made it look like he was glowing. Wendy thought about all the people in her life that she could just sit with and hang out with like this. Not very many. She was feeling more comfortable than ever.

Dipper's personality and awkwardness might make a person think that 'comfortable' was not his thing and most of the time they'd be right. But Wendy could get pretty stressed sometimes and she couldn't even begin to imagine what life must be like for Dipper. But sitting here, together with him, Wendy understood,

"I know what you're feeling, dude. This is, like, the most peaceful place on earth."

It would have been perfect—but a growl broke the silence.

Wendy immediately shot up, scanning the ground. "What was that, a bear?"

"Uh—no." Dipper's voice was apologetic. "My—uh—stomach."

"Dude! Sounds like you're starving!" Wendy laughed out loud as she realized she was pretty hungry herself as well. "Let's eat, dude."

"But we're up here—"

Wendy leaned way back and yanked his heavy backpack from the branch behind them. He hadn't seen it. "No problem."

"You—you climbed up hauling that thing?"

"It didn't fly up, Dipper. Want a snack?"

"Uh—sounds good. The food's in the front pocket."

Wendy unzipped it. "All right, let's see what we got here." She began to pull stuff out. "Ham sandwiches, two. Cans of Pitt Cola, four. PB&J sandwiches, two. Burrito Bites, two. aaaand- oh sweet dude! Cookie Chips, my favorite!"

Dipper laughed. "You change your mind about your favorite snack every other week."

She chuckled, too. "So? This week it's Cookie Chips, dude! You sure know how to pick 'em." Wendy punched his shoulder lightly. "Dig in!"

They consumed the sandwiches and the Burrito Bites as they each popped open a can of Pitt, repacking the other drinks and snacks for later. They talked and joked about everything and nothing as they ate. Dipper almost choked on a sandwich when Wendy told him about how the school recently had to call the fire department to get Thompson off of a flagpole as a result of some stupid dare.

Wendy laughed as Dipper became very animated talking about some of the amazing things Ford and Stan had found on their adventure. Somehow he got onto the subject of school: "I've got the coolest teacher ever!" He told her about Mr. William, who gave a special evening course in college-prep physics, meant for advanced students that needed more challenge. Though William had designed the course for high-school juniors, he had invited Dipper to join.

"He's awesome, not like the other teachers. And he's really nice too. He also teaches at the local college and showed some of my work to some of his friends there. He said they were very impressed," Dipper finished proudly.

Wendy sipped her cola and nodded. "You're lucky, man. Let me tell you about this teacher of mine-" She launched into a story about a guy who, from her description, sounded terminally boring, winding up with, ". . . so he caught me sleeping in class, again. But when he asked me a question about the subject he was teaching us I answered it flawlessly. He was really furious, I mean, purple face and everything."

Dipper coughed up some of his cola.

Wendy patted his back. "So I said maybe I should teach the class since he was so obviously stressed."

Clearing his throat, Dipper said, "No way!"

Wendy shrugged. "Way. So he gave me detention for two whole months."

Dipper blinked. "What? Talking back is one thing, but two whole months? That's way too much!"

Now very animated, Wendy said, "I know, right? And I couldn't just let that slide, you know. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Oh, boy."

"So he's a geology teacher, right? Big into dirt and rocks and stuff. So I went to the supply shack behind school and got out a bag of concrete mix—"

Dipper grimaced, already seeing where Wendy's story was going.

"—and I mixed it with water and spread a layer on his chair. Long story short: Even the other teachers call him professor Rock Butt now."

"Didn't you get caught?" Dipper asked in disbelief

"No evidence, no witnesses. Stan taught me a thing or two about criminal activities!" She said as her confident smile was slowly replaced by a suspicious frown. "Now you know, though, that makes you a liability. Stan said to leave no witnesses behind. You gonna rat on me, man?"

Her lips curled into a smile, and Dipper instantly knew what to do. He put his thumb and forefinger together and mimed zipping his lips and flicking away the key as Wendy mimicked the motion.

Dipper burst out laughing. "Professor Rock Butt!"

Wendy couldn't contain her mirth any longer either and they both sat high up in the air laughing their asses off. "I know right! I didn't even come up with that one!"

This was what Wendy had been missing for so long: how they could just talk about the dumbest stuff and joke about just about everything. Oh, she could have dumb conversations with her friends, but that wasn't the same. There was always the silent judging going on and the certain level of "coolness" you needed to be, which, in itself, Wendy thought was incredibly lame.

With Dipper, she could just actually talk about everything without any judging or caring about whether or not things would be the appropriate level of "cool." She could just geek out about movies and arcade games and even the cool lumberjack stories her friends thought were too dumb for them to care about. Dipper seemed to enjoy every topic they talked about and even knew how to ask questions that made the stories even better than they were before.

As the sun touched the peaks the mountains, their conversation came to a halt as they decided to open up the bag of Cookie Chips and the remaining cans of Pitt. They gazed at the last rays of sunlight streaking across the mountain tops and hit the woods in front of them.

"Hey, Wendy?" Dipper said as he shifted uncomfortably on the branch they were sitting on.

"Yeah?" She turned towards him and saw him avoid her gaze.

"I-uh. I wanted to thank you."

"For what dude?"

He took a deep breath. "You know, for being there for me, for having my back and being my friend and all." He turned towards her and she saw the nervousness in his eyes. "Mabel's making a lot of friends in school, and I know she'll have a bunch of them in High school as well. Sometimes she tries to involve me and stuff." He shrugged. "But I feel out of place with new people, and I usually just end up making things awkward so I never feel like I belong. I don't have that many friends at school. Really just Mabel and Mr. William, and he's a teacher, so I guess he doesn't count. It-It's not that great."

"Hey, you got me, dork," Wendy said as she softly nudged his shoulder. "Dip, I know it's rough in school if you're a little different. Man, when I was a freshman, the preppy girls ragged on me something fierce. You just gotta ignore the jerks." She reflected that Dipper felt depths of loneliness that she had never known. After all, Wendy had Tambry to hang out with, and Tambry introduced her to her little group of friends. Mabel would try to do the same with Dipper, but unlike her, he felt so insecure about himself that making new friends might be impossible for him.

"Yeah, I have you. When I'm here. That kind of, you know, keeps me going." He gave her the hint of a smile. "So, thanks for being cool."

"Aw, that´s what friends do, man," Wendy replied with a comforting grin. She wondered if she should tell him how he did the same thing for her—but sitting on the top of a tree might not be the right place for that.

"I mean, even when I want to do lame, dorky stuff like this-" Dipper motioned to the clearing with one hand as the other loosely held the branch they were sitting on. "-I know mystery hunting isn´t "cool" and everything, but I'm having a ton of fun," he concluded with a shy grin.

Wendy punched his arm again. "Dude, c'mon! I'm having a blast too man! I enjoy hanging out with you more than anything and I love going mystery hunting with you, and if that makes me a dork then you can call me Dorky Dorkuroy from now on!"

Dipper laughed out loud.

"Hey, man, that's more like it! For real, Dip, you're, like, the coolest dude I know! Your head's full of so much interesting stuff, and when I talk to you I never fail to have fun and you even put up with all the dumb shit that I do."

"Nah. I'm not that cool," Dipper said with an embarrassed smile on his face, rubbing the back of his neck, obviously still not convinced.

"Dude!" Wendy said confidently as she gave him a playful shove, forgetting for a moment that they were not at the Mystery Shack, or at her place, or the Arcade, or anywhere that was not 20 feet up in the air with only a few branches between them and the ground.

"You're-" She started saying before she noticed the combination of her shove and his loose grip had caused him to lose balance. Wendy froze as she saw her friend fall backward off the branch, seemingly in slow motion, his smiling face transforming into one of dread. her normally quick reflexes failed her as her arm shot out to catch him an instant too late, leaving her to only grasp at the air. Leaving her alone on the branch her and her companion had been sharing a second ago.

"DIPPER!"

"Well, poop".

Dipper was surprised to notice his mind was incredibly clear in such a dire situation. He was used to stressful situations so Ford had taught him a thing or two about his special meditation methods. Dipper wasn't that good at it yet, but he was glad to know that he could at least think properly when every single survival instinct kicked in.

He heard Wendy call his name above him: "DIPPER!"

"Aw man," He thought as he shifted his body around so he was able to see the ground.

"I hope I don't die here" He was closing in on the ground at a rapid pace. He braced his arms and legs and held them out in such a way that his face would not be the one to take the heaviest impact.

"That would be super lame"

Everything seemed to stop for Wendy when she failed to catch her younger friend. The trees around them lost color, the sweet smell of the unfinished bag of Cookie Chips disappeared and even all sound produced by the woods seemed to be absent from reality. This can't be real, everything was so peaceful, in a dreadful, horrible way instead of the pleasant comfort of mere seconds ago.

Wendy wondered if time had just decided to stop somehow when she was brutally snapped out of it by a sudden sound, loud and sickening:

CRACK!