When we're forty if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?

It had been a roller coaster of a day. The highlight of course had been getting to meet and hold little Ben, her nephew. Her nephew! She was an aunt! Ross was a father! It was almost too amazing to be believed. But it was real. She'd held the evidence herself and run her finger along his smooth chubby little cheek.

Standing in the hospital room with Ben in her arms, the strange mix of antiseptic, floral bouquets, and baby assaulting her senses simultaneously, she'd felt the overwhelming urge to weep though whether for joy or sadness she really couldn't say.

This beautiful precious new life had finally arrived. It was amazing, incredible, miraculous…but it wasn't her miracle. As much as she may be a part of Ben's life through the years, he was Ross' son not hers and she can't shake the terrible sense of dread that it will always be her fate to be standing on the sidelines celebrating the arrival of someone else's child.

Which is just so damn unfair she thinks bitterly punching her pillow in frustration as she tosses onto her side once more unable to fall asleep despite the long and tiring vigil in the hospital. She'd been the one who wanted to have children. She's the one who had spent hours agonizing over names and debating the spacing between siblings. Ross had never once talked about becoming a father, even after he and Carol had gotten married, and now the opportunity, what should have been her opportunity, had fallen in his lap.

Her mind goes back to her mother's voice over the payphone speculating that this may be her only chance to become a grandmother and she has to pinch her eyes shut tightly to stop from crying again. Isn't it bad enough that her own doubts and insecurities are bouncing wildly around in her mind? Now she has to add her mother's criticism as well?

She wasn't so old that the prospect of meeting someone, falling in love, getting married, and starting a family was completely out of the question. She wasn't even thirty, for crying out loud. None of her friends, really no one she even knew well, was anywhere near to settling down. So why did it feel like she was so far behind, like she was running out of time?

The problem was that it was different for her friends. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe seemed to spend most of their time actively avoiding commitment, so she couldn't really compare her timeline to theirs. Ross and Rachel's love lives were nothing to be jealous of either, true. But Ross had at least been married and now had Ben. And Rachel could have been married had she stayed with Barry. No one was even offering Monica the option.

Well that wasn't entirely true. Chandler of all people had offered to have a child with her if no one else came along before they were forty. She'd been so focused on the 'if neither of us are married' part of his offer that she hadn't really given the 'getting together' bit consideration. But now, here in her room, in the early hours of the morning as she stares unseeingly at the ceiling she lets her mind wander a bit to wonder what if she and Chandler didn't find anyone else before they were forty? What if they did get together? What would that even look like?

Obviously he was kidding and it isn't worth a second thought. Except she can't seem to think of anything else. Taking only a quick minute to feel slightly guilty for her overactive imagination she gives into the urge and allows her daydream to command her full attention.

She imagines herself in a hospital bed, much like the one where she'd visited Carol, though in all likelihood the actual birth may very well have taken place in another room altogether. She's sweaty and weary but still glowing with her swollen belly before her. Chandler would be his usual nervous self, bouncing around in place, cracking jokes, some funny, some not, but always at the wrong time. She'd smile at him though and he'd look down at her. She imagines a mix of adoration and pride in his glance, which she surprised to realize isn't so hard to do. Chandler may be a sarcastic ass ninety-nine percent of the time but he does seem to reserve some sincere words and glances for her, always reassuring her that she's attractive, smart, worthy.

The labor would be painful but not out of the ordinary and Chandler would stand beside her the whole time, squeezing her hand so tightly she'd forget the pain of childbirth for a moment to chastise him to ease his grip. When it was over and one of the nurses would bring them their daughter- Monica pauses here for a moment to consider their baby's gender before deciding on her original idea of a little girl- Chandler would hold her up to his face to whisper his hello before resting her gently into Monica's arms.

As their little daughter sleeps against her chest, Chandler would lean down and ever so slightly place his lips to hers. Monica must be more asleep than awake at this point as she allows herself to fully imagine what kissing Chandler would be like. Though Chandler's offer had been a contingency one, her once daydreaming now fully dreaming mind has clearly reshaped this partnership into one of choice.

"You were amazing," he'd tell her reverently.

"Look what we made," she'd smile happily looking down at the small face peeking from the swaddling blanket, a perfect mix of her and Chandler's features.

"We did good," he'd agree before kissing her once more.

The following morning, Monica wakes later than usual on account of having stayed awake most of the night. When she makes her way out of her bedroom she finds Chandler and Joey already at her dining table.

"Hey sleepyhead," Chandler greets throwing her a lopsided grin before going back to his newspaper.

Joey is saying something to her now, something about Ross and Ben but Monica isn't really hearing him as the memory of her forgotten dream comes back to her causing her to flush from head to toe.

"Sorry, what was that Joey?" Monica asks with a little shake of her head, hoping to physically wipe the memory of Chandler and her and a baby from her mind.

"I said we're heading over to see Ross and Ben again in a minute. Wanna come along?"

"Yeah," she agrees excited to get a chance to see her nephew again. Somehow she's feeling less resentful about the whole baby thing than she had yesterday. After all if worse comes to worse she and Chandler can always get together and have one, and really that doesn't sound half bad to her at all.