"You know, it's times like this that I really hate this job," said Bogo sourly.

The headline of the paper read DRAMATIC ZPD CHASE. Underneath, in slightly smaller type: WILDE AND HOPPS DO IT AGAIN.

Besides the paper, there was another annoyance- well, two annoyances- in his office. Wendy Willow and Claudia de Ville both glared at him. "So what are you going to do about this?" demanded Willow.

"I shall probably not assign you to ride with either Hopps or Wilde again," replied Bogo.

"And?" said de Ville after a moment.

"And...you're welcome?"

"What?"

Bogo pointed at them. "It's any officer's right to decide whether to continue riding with a ridealong- we're not going to override their judgment for any reason, whether it be that they decided to drop you off for safety reasons or because you were distracting or throwing off their judgment. All they had to do was drop you off in a safe place, which they did." Possibly by accident in Hopps's case, Bogo didn't say. "I will speak with them regarding appropriate procedures for doing so in the future, but I will not punish them for doing something legal and within policy."

Both reporters glared at him. "We lost out on some incredible footage!" said Willow, pointing at the newspaper.

"Which you would have done anyway, since they were unlikely to have let you up in that truck bed with them. And your colleague still was able to get good video." Bogo leaned back. "Speaking of which, I wanted to speak with you regarding some of that video you recorded, which I reviewed. Specifically, the parts where it was clear you had recorded conversations intended to be private."

Willow and de Ville looked wary, exchanged looks. "I don't know what you mean," said Willow carefully.

"Oh, I think you do."

"It's good entertainment," said de Ville. "And you can't stop us from broadcasting it!"

Bogo grimaced. "It's not me that you need to worry about, Mrs. De Ville."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy sat with Nick in a small, out of the way coffee shop. They were alone- it was late in the evening, and most of the regular customers came by during morning or lunch.

"I'm still not happy with you," said Judy quietly.

"I don't blame you," replied Nick, also quietly.

"Are you angry with me?"

Nick looked up, surprised. "Why would I be?"

"Because I made a decision that involved both of us and just told you what it was, without giving you a say. Because it was a decision to not make a decision, and it wasn't fair to you to not make it."

The fox considered this. "It's still your decision."

"But it involves your life as well as mine. You should at least hear my reasoning, and have a chance to talk to me about it." Judy sipped her coffee, her eyes watching Nick. "Just like-"

"Just like I should have talked to you about this, instead of trying a clever plan to make a point," said Nick.

"Yes. And so long as we both understand that we should really talk about these things in the future, I wanted to say something about your 'clever plan'."

Nick winced. "Oh?" he said, with forced nonchalance.

Judy reached across the table with a sudden lunge and yanked the fox by the lapels towards her.

"It worked."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two weeks later

Hunter walked into ZPD headquarters with a sense of imminent doom, though it wasn't even Monday.

This wasn't entirely unusual, Hunter reflected. When you've been a cop long enough, your doom-sense becomes hyper-developed, and some false positives are natural. On the other hand, a wise cop never completely ignores it.

It wasn't until he sat down in roll call and started hearing the snickers that he began to really worry, though.

Francine walked in, the elephant stepping carefully to avoid the other cops, then noticed Hunter. She grinned. "Hey, Hunter."

"Francine," said Hunter warily.

She sat down next to him and leaned over conspiratorially, which was something like having a building sidle up to you. "So there's this boy I like, and I'm not sure whether he likes me? So maybe you have some advice on that?"

Hunter looked up at her and frowned. "Um..."

"Hey, Hunter," said Delgato. "So I'm trying to think of what to get the wife for our anniversary, and I want something that really stands out-"

"Hey, Hunter," put in Wolferd. "What do you recommend to spice up things in the bedroom?"

Hunter blinked at them. "Okay, I'm missing the joke."

Hopps suddenly looked up, her ears flat along her back. Hunter started- he hadn't even seen her. "They aired the first episode of the reality show they filmed," she said.

"That was fast."

"Reality shows have a quick turnaround, if they want to."

"I still don't understand."

"Well," said Francine. "Once we saw you giving advice to young Hopps and Wilde about their love life, we never realized that we had this treasure trove of relationship wisdom to draw on."

Hunter stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"De Ville planted a microphone on Nick," said Hopps wearily. "And Carlos put one in the patrol car."

"So our conversations-" Hunter sat very still. "All on camera?"

"All broadcast on television," said Delgato happily. "They're calling you the Love Cop!" He struck a pose, hand out with the palm facing outward. "Stop! In the name of Love!"

Hunter rose as the laughter started. "I think I need to talk to the chief."

"Didn't you hear me?" yelled Delgato as he walked out. "In the name of Love I said!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter stood in front of Bogo, who watched him warily. No frown, not even a twitch could be seen on Hunter's expression. He was the very model of an objective, calm, and reasonable officer.

It was incredibly disturbing. "There's nothing I can do," said Bogo. "Everything you do on the job is considered public- there's no expectation of privacy."

Hunter nodded, very precisely. "Very well. I understand the ZRN people will be back soon?"

"Tomorrow," said the chief, slowly.

"I'd like Mrs. De Ville to be assigned to ride with me."

Bogo looked at him. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"On the contrary, sir, it's a very good idea." Hunter looked at the chief.

He drummed his fingers. "Nothing dangerous."

"Of course, not, sir."

To be honest, Bogo didn't like his officers' private lives put on display like that, either. And he still wasn't happy with how he had been spoken to by the two ZRN mammals. "Okay. But if she says no-"

"Why would she say no?" Hunter smiled. "Didn't I get Carlos some great footage? I promise, the video from our ridealong will be gold."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

De Ville sat quietly next to the tall human. At first she had been overjoyed to ride with Hunter- Carlos kept talking about what a great guy he was, and she had been green with envy at the footage he had gotten.

Her trepidation had started when she and Carlos were walking through ZPD headquarters and they first spotted Hunter.

"Hunter!" called Carlos. She frowned at the note of forced cheer in Carlos's voice, though it was somewhat subtle.

"Carlos," greeted Hunter. He looked down at the smaller mammal as he stopped in front of them. After a moment, he said, "You saved my life."

Carlos smiled weakly. "Yes?"

"So it's a wash." De Ville gave Carlos a confused look as he sighed in relief. Then Hunter looked at her.

"Mrs. De Ville."

"You can call me Claudia, all my friends do," she said, smiling winningly.

He smiled, too, and she had to stop from flinching back. "Well, let's get going, Mrs. De Ville, we've got a lot to do today."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It wasn't long before a call came over the air. "Unit Twenty Seven Charlie, anyone out there with a field test kit?"

Hunter keyed his mike. "Hunter here. On the way."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They arrived and de Ville saw Hopps and the tiger- Delgato- standing by a patrol car. Next to them was a large bag with some sort of white powder. She immediately began filming- that looked like cocaine!

Hunter walked over and glanced at the powder. "Where'd you find it?"

"Anonymous tip," said Delgato. "Said there was a stash in a truck near here, probably a dead drop."

Hunter nodded. "Okay." He pulled a tube containing some liquid out of his pocket. He paused, noticing de Ville filming. "Come on closer, get a real good shot."

She moved closer obediently, getting a solid close up of the baggie. "That's a lot," she said.

"Yeah, an awful lot," replied Hunter, grimly.

He opened the bag and carefully inserted a toothpick, getting a small amount of the powder on it. He then put the powder in the plastic tube and swirled it. Almost immediately, the liquid turned green.

Hunter nodded. "That's it, then."

De Ville smiled. It wasn't a car chase, but a good drug seizure was pretty solid for the first hour. "It's cocaine?"

"Cocaine?" said Hunter in surprise. "No, weaponized Night Howler."

There was a long silence. "Weaponized-" she said faintly.

"Yeah, nasty stuff, a few particles and you go savage like that," said Delgato, snapping his fingers. "Lucky you got your shots, right?"

"Shots?" De Ville started to notice how fast her heart was beating. Was she feeling faint?

"Yeah, the vaccine." Hopps frowned. "Wait, they did give you the vaccine, right?"

"I, uh, no shots-"

The officers all exchanged worried looks. "She's been exposed," said Hunter grimly. "Dammit! I just assumed-"

"There's no time for that," snapped Hopps. "Mrs. De Ville, how are you feeling?"

How as she feeling? "A bit, uh, faint."

"Heart beating faster? I notice you're panting- shit, she's in stage one," said Hunter. He looked at Hopps. "Get the Night Howler gear."

"Gear?" asked de Ville. Yes, her heart was beating faster and faster- she could hear the blood rushing in her ears.

"Don't worry, ma'am, you may go a bit- uh, savage- but we'll get the antidote to you quickly." Hopps returned, carrying a series of straps and a muzzle. "But we need to restrain you- for your safety and ours."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

De Ville stared out of the trunk at the three officers silhouetted against the blue sky. "Is this really necessary?" she asked, her voice muffled through the muzzle.

"Can't be too careful," said Hunter.

The trunk lid closed with a slam.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So that's the joke, then?" said Delgato. "I mean, it's funny and all, but-"

Hunter was getting something from his duty bag. He gave Delgato a flat look. "That was Stage One."

Hopps frowned. "What's Stage Two?"

Hunter held up the bag he had recovered. It contained a big bottle of fake blood and several realistic-looking fake body parts. "I convince her she had amnesia and spray this all over her body and scatter these body parts around."

Delgato and Hopps both gasped. "Isn't that a little cruel, Hunter?" said Hopps.

Hunter walked towards the car. "Yep." He got in and started the engine, looked at them again. "But hilarious."

The two other cops watched him drive off.

"So, never cross Hunter," said Delgato.

"Never cross Hunter," agreed Hopps.

Author's Note: So first of all, yes, that's pretty vicious for a practical joke. Hunter can be like that- he tends to be of the "if it doesn't kill you, it's actually pretty funny" school of practical jokes.

So thus ends this short story arc. So here are my plans.

I'm going to start another long arc, which I will likely post sometime this weekend, hopefully about 5 chapters worth. As I mentioned, I'll probably go to a weekly posting schedule. It will be a different story- that is, not under the Hunter's Rules one- so just check under my author page or whatever if you don't see it. I believe if you have me favorited or followed as an author it should pop up that I've posted it.

I may or may not intersperse another shorter story arc with my publishing of the longer one. Depends on if I have a really good short arc idea and want to post it or not.

The next story line will be more from Hopps and Wilde's side, I believe, as I would prefer the focus be on them to some extent. Not to say Hunter won't be involved- for a character who was intended primarily as a reaction character to Zootopia's weirdness, he grew quite a bit- but for reasons I won't go into I intend to mostly place the point of view with Hopps and Wilde.

Thanks for all reviews/follows/favorites/etc!