Chapter One: The World Spins Madly On
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ― Helen Keller
June 9, 1940
Our family's decision to move from Burbank, California to London, England in 1940, while a war is raging, was probably one of the most illogical decisions my father could have made. He was an inventor who was contacted by the British Intelligence to help with countermeasures against the Nazi Germany. The question that's probably running through any sane person's mind who decides to read this sad little book is probably: Why anyone would move from one of the safest places in the world to probably one of the most dangerous and why would British Intelligence want an American inventor? Well, I can probably answer that simply with one answer, my dad is English. He left Liverpool in the 1920's as a teenager, while he was travelling, and met my mom, who is American and was an artist at the time, and he loved her creativity and zest for life and decided to stay with her. A friend of his who he had since childhood, who was contracted by British Intelligence recommended him. He took up the offer when it was given to him, which moved my mom, my sisters and I to London.
There's only one upside to this move, we have neighbors that are around our age. Well, not Alice's, but Violet, Zoe, and I have people our age to talk to. There's a family down the street with two boys and two girls. Peter is 13 and his sister, Susan just turned 12. Susan's nice, a bit brainy like Alice, but she's alright. Peter won't talk to me at all. I have no idea what I did to him, but every time he and I are in the same room together, he make an excuse to leave. He'll talk to my sisters, but not to me, not that he really has much to say to Alice or Zoe. Edmund and Lucy are basically the same age as Zoe. Edmund is a year older than she is and Lucy is a year younger. Edmund isn't very sociable, but Lucy is sweet and a good playmate for her. I think it's really only Alice who doesn't have anyone, but she has her books and those have always suited her more than people. Mom thinks she should learn to keep a home and cook, so she can keep her husband happy when she eventually marries. I don't really think that's Alice's goal in life, I wouldn't be surprised if she never got married. She's happy with her books, with her studies, and with learning; love and romance, they just don't fit into her life and it'll take someone who likes and wants to learn and likes that sort of stuff to ever have the chance to convince her to change her mind. I don't understand why
"Jane?"
I looked up from my new journal that Aunt Emma had given me before we had left to see Alice poking her head into mine and Violet's room. I raised my eyebrows at her, as if to ask what she wanted.
"Dinner's ready." Alice stated, "Mother invited the Pevensies for dinner."
"Great another awkward dinner." I groaned, closing the journal, I'd finish the entry later. It wasn't surprising that Mom invited the Pevensies for dinner, she was used to big Sunday dinners with a lot of family around.
"You're only saying that because Peter gets under your skin." She smiled softly.
"He does not," I retorted, "He won't say a word to me and I don't get it. I haven't done anything to him, I-"
"It might not be you." She said gently, "Give it some time."
"But-"
"If he chooses not to converse with you and get to know you, that is his decision and he will be missing out on a wonderful person, if he does." She replied, "Unless he's actually been mean to you, then leave it be. Don't let it get to you."
"Maybe you should pass on those words of wisdom to Zoe." I commented, "She's the one chasing Edmund Pevensie around."
"She has a different problem." Alice replied, "She doesn't care why he doesn't want to be around her, she could care less. She wants to be around him."
"Why?"
"I don't know." She slight shrugged, "You would have to ask her."
After she left, I got up off my bed and put my journal and my pen away in my desk, and then went to the bathroom to wash up for dinner.
"Jane! The Pevensies are coming for dinner!" Zoe said excitedly as she ran into the bathroom to wash her hands for dinner.
"You excited to see Lucy?" I asked her.
"Yeah." She replied half-heartedly, "Bit more to see Edmund though."
"Why?"
"He's challenging." She replied simply, "I want to be his friend."
"Getting anywhere with that?" I asked, still confused by her reasoning.
"He stopped telling me to leave him alone." She smiled.
'He probably stopped seeing the point.' I thought, and then replied sheepishly, "That's good."
I knew she should leave him alone, we all did, but we hadn't seen her smile or take an interest in anything or anyone since we got here. I think once school starts up again, she'll make friends and her interest in Edmund will diminish.
After Zoe washed up and went to the dining room, I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me, and looked at the mirror. I sighed at my reflection, part of me wished I looked like Alice, with her long blonde hair that curled at the ends, or thought like Violet, who didn't seem to care what others thought of her. She was a regular tomboy, she wanted to play sports and rough house, and was basically the closest thing dad ever really got to having a boy, not that ever really matter to him. I didn't look like Alice though, my hair was a mousy brown and it was straight and barely hit my shoulders, and I did care what others thought. I did care that Peter refused to be in the same room as me, I did worry about what that said of me.
"This is the best it's going to get." I sighed at my reflection and washed my hands, before going to the dining room. Everyone else was already sitting down. Mother and Mrs. Pevensie were at the heads of the table. Lucy was next to her mother with Alice was opposite her, they were conversing politely. Alice was telling her all about the books she had been reading, or at least the simpler ones she thought Lucy would be interested in. Edmund was next to Lucy, staring down at his plate, trying to avoid talking to Zoe who was sitting across from him. Susan was next to Mom, telling Violet, who was sitting opposite her, all about the schools here and asking what we learned back in the states and questioning the differences, while Violet was doing everything she could to avoid the conversation. Susan was nice and all, but she is definitely not Violet's cup of tea. She'd rather talk about baseball or some other sport, not school. Peter was next to Edmund, trying to look anywhere except for the empty space in front of him where I ended up sitting down. The only ones who really seemed to enjoy these dinners were our mothers, Alice, Lucy, and Susan didn't seem to mind them. Zoe looked forward to them, but always was disappointed with their outcome. Violet could have cared less either way. Peter and Edmund always looked like they were uncomfortable, I wondered if it was because they were the only two boys in a large group of women or girls. I didn't really know what to think of them: the boys, the Pevensies in general, or the dinners. I didn't really even know what I thought of England yet, other than I missed the beach and the Pacific Ocean and wished I was back home.
"We could have been surfing right now." Violet whispered to me, when she had noticed Susan had stopped talking.
"You would have been surfing," I pointed out, "I would have been-"
"Watching the waves and writing." She finished my sentence, she had been able to do that since we were little. I've always guessed it was a twin thing, my other sisters could never do it. "I miss home."
"This is our home now." I reminded her.
"Could be worse." Violet replied hopefully.
"How so?" I asked confused as I started to pick at my food.
"I'm not sure," Violet looked back at me, "This is kind of awful, I'd have to think on it." She looked back at her food, "I'd kill for a burger."
"I'd kill for triple chocolate fudge malt with fries on the side to dip in it." I smiled, thinking about the sweet and salty treat.
"We couldn't get them anyway cause of the war." Violet reminded.
"Wars don't last forever though." I replied, "Eventually, it will end, as all wars do, and we'll be able to eat whatever again."
"We don't know if they have food rations here."
"We do." Susan answered our unasked question. We looked at her incredulously. I thought the English were supposed to be polite. Isn't is a little rude to eavesdrop on someone else's quiet conversation? One could argue that it's rude to have a whispered conversation in the close company of other people, but our manners are under scrutiny here, it was hers. Just because you hear someone talking doesn't mean you comment. "Food is rationed here. I doubt any of the foods either of you mentioned would be available, not that I really know what malts are."
"It's a type of dessert drink." I replied quietly.
"It's a drink made with ice cream, I think you call them thick shakes, you would find them in soda shops." Violet explained, "Jane likes to dip fries in them."
Susan looked at her confused.
"I believe the English call them chips." Violet clarified.
"Why would anyone want to dip chips in ice cream?" Susan asked dumbfounded.
"Everyone has different tastes." I replied sheepishly, "I like the taste of sweet and salty things together."
It was kind of sad really, I could write pages upon pages in a journal, but talking to people, outside of my sisters, I've never quite gotten the hang of it. Forget speaking in public, by the way things were going that was never going to happen. It was hard enough for me to converse with my peers; that was Violet's strength between the two of us.
Violet's POV
I wonder if Susan slightly enjoyed make others feel uncomfortable or feeling better than others, not that I would call Susan better than Jane, but she surely seemed to think she was. Jane wasn't going to stand up for herself, she would if she wasn't so shy, but that's alright, that's why she has me. Jane was brainy like Alice, just shyer; me and Zoe, we were the ones with the attitude. Neither of us were afraid to speak our minds when we felt the need. I wouldn't call Susan out, especially not here in front of everyone; that would be rude and I knew better than that.
Looking around the table, I had no clue why we had these dinners. The only ones who enjoyed them were our mother and Mrs. Pevensie. Not even Zoe, who could find joy in pretty much everything, really liked them from what I could tell. She liked seeing Edmund, who she really needed to leave alone, and Lucy, who could be a good friend to her if she didn't chase after Edmund so much. Jane absolutely hated them, and from talking to Peter, who has always been nice, but brutally honest, the dinners made him uncomfortable and Jane made him nervous. I didn't get why, but she did. Edmund didn't seem to enjoy the dinners at all, but he didn't seem to enjoy much. I didn't understand why Zoe chased him around, the kid kinda had a stick up his ass. Susan wasn't much better than Edmund, she was just less moody than he was. Edmund was just a moody little kid, there were probably reasons why he was the way he was. I didn't get Susan's reason for the way she acts.
I looked up from my food to see someone was talking to me, I should probably pay attention to what they were saying. It was Mrs. Pevensie, I had missed too much of what she was saying to answer her. So, I said what I usually told people when I didn't hear or pay attention to what they were saying, when I had been too lost within my own thoughts, "I'm not sure."
Alice picked up on my answer really quickly and answered Mrs. Pevensie for me. I didn't really listen to her answer, I heard enough to know Alice had answered the question for me. The only way to really survive these dinners or even to get through life at the moment is to revert into oneself, or at least it is for me at the moment. It's not like I can go out and play ball. I guess I could get back into tennis, it would be something to tide me over until I could play baseball again. Tennis could possibly help me with my swing… Oh, crap, someone's trying to say something to me again, what is with these people and trying to talk to me? Do I even know what they even asked? No, no, I did not.
Alice's POV
Violet had that blank look on her face again, I'd better answer the question for her.
"Violet's never been really interested in school, she's always been more interested in athletics." I replied to Susan. She had been chewing Violet's ear off about school almost all dinner. "Back in the States, she used to play baseball in her free time. Jane is more of the studious one between the two of them, but she's more of the silent genius. I don't hear her talk much outside of the family though." I added, knowing Jane and Violet hadn't been paying attention anyway. Eventually, the dinner was over and we bid farewell to the Pevensies until tomorrow.
There was a distinct difference between the twins; outside of their looks, they were completely different people. Neither of the girls think they look alike, but really the only difference in looks is their hair color. Jane was a brunette, while Violet was a redhead. Zoey and I were both blonde. Looks aside though, all of us were different. Jane was brainy and shy, Violet was athletic and audacious, and Zoe, well Zoe was a bit of a wildcard, but I don't know what anyone else would really expect her to be, she's only nine. I think she and I were the only ones who were generally happy about the move. Yes, the timing of the move was awful, being in the midst of a war, but it was definitely a better situation than what Zoe and I were in.
By the time we had moved, Zoe was a loner, who had been indefinitely suspended from all after she got into a fight with another kid. I doubt they would have suspended her if she hadn't punched the girl in the face, giving her two black eyes, a broken nose, and a bloody swollen lip or if the girl hadn't been the daughter of the vice principal. In all honesty, it was the girl's own fault. If she hadn't been such a brat, Zoe wouldn't have attacked her in the first place. That wasn't the way the school saw the incident though. We were told that if she had gotten into another fight, she would be expelled. This would be a good way for her to start over.
Leaving Burbank was the only way to get out of the relationship I was in. My parents had introduced me you a young man a few years older than I am with the intent of us eventually getting married, what they didn't see was that he was an arrogant, chauvinistic Neanderthal. He was very good at hiding behind a mask in in a sea of people. When Dad took this job, he sat me down and gave me a choice: either I could marry Dominic or I could come live in England with the rest of the family. It took me all of two seconds to make my decision. It'll be a long time before I ever attempt a relationship again. Even being here with the war raging and the city being bombed is better than having to deal with romance. If I'm lucky enough, I'll never have to deal with it again.
'I'm not sure if I'll live long enough to see it through again.' I thought as I heard the sirens start to go off.
"To the bomb shelter now." Mom told Violet and Jane hurriedly, before looking to me, "Find Zoe, make sure she's not left behind."
"Ours has been blasted to pieces in the last raid, I don't think that's going to be much help now." Violet argued, "Where the hell are we supposed to go?"
"Language, Violet." Mom chided, "We don't have the time to argue about this, Mrs. Pevensie knows about our shelter and has offered to share hers. Now go!" She commanded. Jane and Violet ran out of the house and to the Pevensies like two bats out of hell. They didn't stop sprinting until their house.
"Where are you going?" I asked her concerned as she headed up the stairs.
"I need to get something, I'll be with you as soon as I find it." She replied calmly, "Find your sister and go, Alice. Do not wait for me and do not argue, just go."
"But-"
"I'll be with you as soon as I can."
I ran off to find Zoe, who had been in her room with that damn cat she had found days ago. I narrowed my eyes at her, "Mom told you to get rid of that."
"Her name is Nessa." She retorted holding the black cat closer to her. I shook my head, now was the worst possible time for this, "I couldn't let her go back out there, not in that."
"Fine take her with you, we have to go." I replied, taking her hand and running to the Pevensies.
"Where's your mother?" Mrs. Pevensie asked when she saw me.
"She said she had to get something." I replied as she helped Zoe into the shelter. She sighed and nodded as if she had expected the answer. "Where are the boys?" I asked confused as I started to head in.
"Peter went after Edmund." She replied concerned, "He ran back into the house."
"How long have they been in there?" I watched in horror as a bomb dropped close to their home, "Do you want me to after them?"
"No, I'd rather you watch the younger girls." She replied, "I'll watch for the boys and your mother."
I nodded, "Thank you." I went inside. Lucy and Susan were on the bottom bunk bed, Violet and Jane, fearlessly, took the top. Zoe was on the floor next to the bed with her cat. Mom was in a minute later, she thanked Mrs. Pevensie and sat on the floor near Zoe. The only ones were waiting for were Edmund and Peter. Mrs. Pevensie stood watch by the door.
"C'mon!" She called, when she saw them, coming out from the shelter to usher them in. Peter pushed Edmund in through the door in front of him so they could get in faster.
"Why can't you care for anyone, but yourself?" Peter asked him frustrated, "You're so selfish! You could have got us killed!"
"Stop it." Mrs. Pevensie stopped him from starting a rant. It was clear that Edmund felt bad and was upset. His mother pulled him into her to comfort him.
"Why can't you just do as you're told?" Peter asked him exasperatedly, before shutting the door. He sat down by me.
"It's not so easy being the eldest." I commented to him once everything had quieted down and everyone was either asleep or in their own conversations.
"No, it's not." He shook his head in agreement, "Do any of your sisters give you a hard time?"
"All three of them are difficult in different ways." I replied, "But if you are referring to your brother, I would have to say possibly Zoe." I looked down at her, she was probably having the best interaction she's had with Edmund since she had met him. She was interacting with the cat and he was conversing with her. "I've always found with the one I've always had the most difficulty with is the one I have the most in common with. Zoe and I, we go to the beat of the same drum, just at different paces. As we get older that difficulty will turn into an understanding and the obstacles will start to fade. I just have to be patient and let her make her own mistakes, and be there when she needs me to be, until that happens." I looked back at Peter, "No matter how much you would like to, Peter, you cannot control when a person grows up. You try and then the person does not become who they are supposed to be. They become whom you would like them." I looked down at my locket, which I had had for years. I had found it one day in the attic of our last house, there was something about the necklace that just told me it was supposed to be mine. "You're only thirteen, Peter. Don't be in a rush to grow up yet, I know with everything going on that sounds impossible, but this war is going to age and take a lot from you anyway, try not to let it get everything from you, at least not yet."
"I'll keep that in mind, Alice."
Zoe's POV
"So what did you end up naming her?" Edmund asked casually.
"Well, at first I was going to name her Persephone, but that seemed like a bit of a mouthful." I replied, "So I named her Nessa."
"Why?"
"Black cats scare people, and so I thought about other things that scare people, and then I thought of Loch Ness, and that brought me to Nessa, and she seemed to like that." I explained simply.
"Is your mum going to let you keep her?"
"I don't know, she just found out I still had her." I replied, "I hope she does though, it'd be nice to have a pet again. Have you ever had a pet?"
"No." He shook his head, "Did you have a cat before you left?"
"No, we had a dog." I answered, "We had to give him to a neighbor; the ship wouldn't allow us to bring pets with us."
"Do you miss him?"
"A little." I replied softly, "He was Violet's dog more than anyone else's though." I looked down at the picture by his side, "Is that your dad?"
He silently nodded sadly.
"You miss him?"
"Yeah."
"I miss mine too." I told him softly.
"At least you know he's coming back." He replied; I was surprised at how he said it though. He wasn't trying to be spiteful, guilting, or mean, he was trying, in his own way, to be comforting. "Do you think when he comes back, you'll leave?"
"I don't know." I replied, "Do you want me to?"
"I don't know." He answered honestly, "I've kind of gotten used to you."
Jane's POV
"What are you writing?"
I looked down to see Susan looking up at me curiously. I looked over at Violet to see if she would say something, so I could continue what I was writing, but she was already fast asleep. I had to answer Susan myself.
"It's a journal," I replied, "I like to record things."
"Like what?" She asked.
"I don't know, like growing up in California, moving here, what I think of living here and the war." I answered, "I've written a lot of things in here."
"What do you think of living here?"
"I miss home." I told her honestly, "I don't understand why we had to move. We left from one of the safest places to probably one of the most dangerous. I want to go back, but unfortunately due to my age, I can't go back on my own."
"I think that's the most I've ever heard you say." She commented stunned.
"I guess I just don't have a lot to say."
"You must if you can fill up all of those pages." She replied, referencing where I was at in the current journal I was in. To be fair though, this journal is small and my handwriting is kind of big.
"I prefer to express myself through writing."
"Why?"
"I don't have to think about what I write before I write it, I can just write." I answered, "I usually have to think about what I say before I talk to people because I don't want to offend anyone. Many do not take well to things that are just beyond their understanding."
Before she ask me anymore questions, I looked back down at my journal and continued to write. Something told me I wouldn't have the ability to keep up with it as much soon.