A/N: I recently found my missing thumb drives and this was the very first story on the first one. I have my notes back for my various stories and updates for others and even better all my research and notes about things like spells and such. Anyhow, I have decided to start with the oldest drive and work my way to clearing them by posting updates and such as I come to them.

This is the first story on my thumb drive. It was one of those to be placed in my Dust Bunnies area until I realized that I have about six or seven chapters alraedy done and this is pretty much a stand alone story. Here in the states, there are several idiotic made up holidays like Talk Like A Pirate Day. Yes, I am serious, there is a day to celebrate talking like a pirate. Johnny Depp must be thrilled. Anyhow, I wrote a few one shots using Sirius because I can't picture anyone other than the twins taking pleasure in such odd celebrations.

Chapter One: Lazy Mom's Day, September 1st

Harry, Hermione and Ron were entering the Hogwarts Express from the muggle side of Kings Cross Station; waving to his godfather from the window once they had chosen a compartment, Harry watched as he spoke to the Weasley parents then moved towards Amelia Bones to speak to his former partner.

It was the beginning of their fifth year, after a very eventful fourth year and summer. Harry had ended up in the TriWizard Tournament in spite of not entering himself, had to fly to escape a dragon he had had to face, had dived in the Black Lake to rescue Hermione, then to his everlasting horror had had to dance in public.

To make matters worse, he had unfortunately abandoned his date Parvati Patil when he had seen the traitorous rat Wormtail AKA Peter Pettigrew in a corner heading towards the office of the newest Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody and followed him.

He had overheard that it hadn't been the real Mad-Eye; he had pulled out his invisibility cloak and awaited the rat to exit by the One-Eyed Witch. The rat had done exactly as expected and tried to leave the castle through the old Marauders tunnel.

Harry had caught him then instead of contacting the Headmaster, he had placed Wormtail in an unbreakable cage then contacted Remus Lupin via Hedwig. He had then sent a message to Amelia Bones, the ex-partner of Moody himself via an anonymous school owl.

Remus had come to Hogwarts the very next morning through the same tunnel with a certain large black grim. The two had verified that it was Peter then had hidden under the cloak while he met Amelia who had been rather puzzled by the message that had supposedly come from Mad-Eye via the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry had explained what he had overheard and when she had asked why he hadn't told the Headmaster, he had looked at her then been very honest.

"I am mad at him. He could have gotten me out of the tournament and didn't. Now, do you believe me?" He asked.

She looked at the rat then at the teenage boy then at the rat again. After what felt like hours but in reality was mere seconds, she said "I don't want to but, yes. Where is the real Moody?"

Harry grimaced then said "I don't know. I just know that Peter called the man Barty."

"Regarding what you told me about Fudge..." The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement trailed off then said "I do believe you about what he did last year. I have been looking for the file regarding Mr. Black and haven't been able to locate them. I have a way around him but have to ask... why do I think you are in contact with a certain fugitive?"

Harry didn't reply, he had merely stood and walked towards the door. Looking at the austere looking woman, he said: "Would you answer that question if you were me?"

With that, he hoped that he was right as he exited the room hoping that whatever Remus and Sirius overheard helped free his godfather. In the small anteroom, Amelia Bones looked at the caged rat then said: "Well, Mr. Pettigrew, I rather think that it is time to give an innocent man his life back."

A week later, Harry was seated next to Hermione in the Great Hall when a flock of owls flew in carrying the Daily Prophet. After a whole semester of being the target, Harry winced at receiving his copy but that ended when he saw the headline. "SIRIUS BLACK DECLARED INNOCENT."

Harry looked towards Hermione then towards the professor's table. He saw the Headmaster looking his way then hurry out of the hall towards his office. He saw the other professors were all eagerly reading the paper, all except the tall dark-haired professor at the end of the table.

He stood so quickly that his chair slammed to the stone floor as he quickly exited. Harry scanned the main article and quickly moved on to the smaller one announcing that Fudge and the Wizengamot had agreed to open the Potter will and had turned over custody of Harry to his godfather.

By the end of the month, Harry was out of the tournament, Peter had ratted out his master and Barty had been kissed by a dementor that Fudge had brought to the castle with him. The baby mutant version of Voldemort had been put through the Death Veil in the Department of Mysteries.

Harry had been thrilled when his godfather had taken him home for the Easter holiday and shown him their new home for the summer and hopefully for the future. A summer that had been spent getting to know his godfather and to a lesser extent Remus Lupin who had traveled to visit them occasionally but who had primarily been kept busy helping Amelia Bones and the ministry with issues resulting from the capture of Voldemort.

Tomorrow he was returning to Hogwarts as the newest Charms professor as Flitwick had moved over to the Defense Against Dark Arts position during a restructuring of the school.

Binn was let go by popular demand and a new professor was brought in, not that she was particularly popular. Delores Umbridge was hired by the Headmaster against the wishes of almost the rest of the staff. Sybil Trelawney was to finish out with her current youngest year students, but anyone who had wished had been allowed to change classes.

Harry to his own embarrassment had soon learned what it meant to have a caring guardian as he found himself now taking Runes after an intense summer spent getting up to the right level with his godfather. Sirius had not been pleased to learn how Harry had chosen his supplemental classes, and when Ron had learned that Harry was leaving, he had also done so and was now taking Muggle Studies with the third years.

Now seated as the train began to pull out of the station, Harry looked over at his friends and grinned. His eventful summer had included time spent with both of them and he had found himself enjoying going to the Burrow but had loved leaving to go home to a place to call his own.

Spending time with Hermione had been a revelation, while she had had the same intensity regarding summer studies, it had been paired with an eagerness to show him everything he had missed by being raised by the Dursleys. They had spent the summer at muggle amusement parks, museums, not only of art, but even old cars and science. Those had been interesting for the boy who had never really been allowed to live, but even more so for his godfather whose curiosity had landed them in hot water more than once.

They had been escorted out from one particular museum after having a laughing fit watching Sirius who had placed his hand on an electricity machine struggling to get his hair back in place had tripped over a different exhibit then had accidentally pulled down a rather comely female docent on top of himself. He had claimed innocence and after a few questions, Hermione had been convinced which had set them off on a laughing fit this time seated on the steps of the science museum.

There had been trips to movie theaters, every single different type of restaurant that they could find, including KFC which had also had them kicked out after Sirius had offhandedly mentioned that Harry's father had once compared the Order of the Phoenix to the fast food place. His explanation had set them off and the staff had been convinced they were making fun of them so they had kicked them out.

A trip to the ocean had been a bit awkward as Harry had suddenly realized his body was reacting to his best friend wearing a bikini and he had refused to leave the water. That awkwardness had gotten even worse when his godfather had figured out the problem and had had a talk with Harry that evening that even now remembering had the teenager wishing he could oblivate himself.

"Harry?" Tuning back into the conversation in the train compartment, Harry realized that Hermione was glaring at Ron who had been saying his name. "What do you think?"

"About?" Harry asked wearing a slightly sheepish expression as he explained he had been thinking about all that had changed since the beginning of last year.

"Ron was saying that because you are prefect this year it means he can get away with not getting caught out after curfew," Hermione replied. "Plus he thinks it is an easy way of gaining possession of banned items."

"Sorry mate but I promised my godfather to do my best to tow the line, you know that the Headmaster is still trying to get my guardianship transferred back to the Dursleys." Harry announced regretfully.

Ron glared at his two closest friends then crossing his arms, stared out the window the reddish tinge on his ears showing how upset he was at Harry not agreeing with his plan. Things between the two had been different since Ron had turned on him the year before. They were still good friends but Harry no longer let Ron lead him, he spoke his mind.

"Besides, it is wrong," Hermione said with an icy look Harry's way for not mentioning that when telling Ron why he wouldn't be going along with his plan. "So, did you hear who the other prefects are yet?"

Harry frowned then said: "I saw Neville when his grandmother met with Sirius and he mentioned that Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchley are the Hufflepuff prefects."

"You just know that Snape is going to make Malfoy a prefect," Ron muttered. "If there is anyone that needs Hermione's little lecture, it's him, not us."

"Ronald, if you would just once-." Hermione saw Harry nodding no and went silent in spite of wanting to keep arguing with the red head.

Harry stopped their argument by turning the conversation to Quidditch. "Katie Bell is Quidditch captain for Gryffindor, but no one knows the others. I am sure that Cedric will be the Hufflepuff captain but I heard from Terry Boot that Flitwick stripped Cho Chang of her prefect badge and position on the team at the end of the year."

"Yes, I heard that too," Hermione replied.

"Ginny said that Chang and Edgecomb both were in trouble with ole Flitwick at the end of the year over something with Looney Lovegood," Ron replied.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"You know that strange girl in Ravenclaw who is always dressed so odd. She lives near us and is weird." Ron replied. "Ginny used to be friendly with her but Mom didn't approve of her dad so she put a stop to it."

Hermione recalled a thin blond girl who was often in the library wearing odd shoes and looking bedraggled who would quickly leave when certain members of her own house would sit at the same table. She felt a bit surprised to realize that she had totally ignored what had been happening in spite knowing the signs of bullying. She saw the same look on Harry's face.

"I'm glad that Flitwick did something about it," Harry replied. "If you saw it, why didn't you say something?"

"It's only Looney." Ron said with a shrug as he sat back and pulled out his chest set. "Want to play, mate?"

"We have to head to the prefect's compartment." Harry said with a hint of regret in his tone knowing that Ron was right regarding Malfoy. "Maybe when I get back."

"Sure." Ron said in a tight tone of voice. He hadn't wanted to do the work of being prefect but still felt odd that Harry had something else that he didn't. That didn't last long as Lavender Brown joined him in their compartment and by the end of the half hour, he was agreeing to go to Hogsmead with her on their first weekend to do so.

In the prefect's compartment, the head boy was to their surprise Cedric Diggory and the head girl was their very own Angelina Johnson. After a brief summary of their summers, they were soon joined by Susan and Justin as well as the upper year Hufflepuffs.

A few minutes later, the upper-level Slytherins arrived and didn't look too happy with seeing Harry there as they settled quietly into their seats. When a blond vaguely familiar girl entered wearing Slytherin green, Hermione leaned over and whispered to Harry that she was Daphne Greengrass.

The Ravenclaws entered as a group and nodded at Diggory and Johnson while Padma and Terry greeted Hermione and Harry.

Cedric looked at the Slytherins and asked: "Where is the male fifth-year prefect?"

Daphne looked a bit uneasy as the older Slytherin, a girl named Octavia said "Mr. Nott was hexed earlier and was sent on to the school with Madam Pomfrey."

"How did he get hexed?" Angelina asked. There was a silent meeting of the eyes between the Slytherins then a resigned Octavia said: "I guess I have to tell you but normally we keep this stuff in house, but Draco Malfoy saw that Theo was wearing the badge and hexed him."

Harry didn't laugh but wanted to.

"Did someone report Malfoy yet?" Cedric asked frowning as he realized that the blond git would be a pain he would have to deal with all year, especially since Potter was a prefect and he wasn't.

"Yes, I sent an owl to Professor Snape." Octavia said. "A portkey arrived and Malfoy was sent on to Hogwarts for him to deal with."

After being assigned patrols of the train, Harry and Hermione were walking back to their compartment with Angelina when they saw Ron in a compartment with several Ravenclaws playing chess.

"Hey mate." Ron said from where he was wiping Michael Corner off the boards. "Corner offered me a game, hope you don't mind."

"No problems." Harry replied then said "Hermione and I have to patrol the train anyhow. We got the first rotation."

Ron's attention was back onto the game and Hermione nudged Harry and pointed out the rather nauseating expression on a watching Lavender Brown's face before they exited the compartment. "Do you think she likes Ron?"

Giggling, Hermione said: "I hope so; otherwise she ate some very bad fish for lunch."

The duo finished their patrol greeting classmates, housemates and friends as they did. Seeing Ginny flirting with Seamus had Harry smirking when he saw Dean didn't seem to happy about it. Neville greeted them and showed them his new wand. "I broke my old one the day we were at the ministry for Lestrange's trial."

The next compartment contained Crabbe and Goyle who looked lost without Malfoy to tell them what to do. They were seated next to one another looking out the window with no one else sharing their space.

After they let Cedric know that they were done, they returned to their empty compartment and Harry resized his trunk and pulled out his present from his godfather. "I promised Sirius I would open this once we were done with our first patrol."

Hermione pulled out a book and placed it in her lap while watching as Harry used his new all-purpose knife. A knife that this being the magical world really was all purpose, there was very little that it couldn't do. When he had cut the tied strings, Harry unfolded the brown paper covered in his family crest and found a mirror. "What on earth?"

"Maybe he wants you to brush your hair?" Hermione asked with a giggle.

Reaching up to try and smooth his rather wild hair down, he said: "I doubt it, Sirius knows my hair is beyond help."

"Hello? Did I hear my name?" The two prefects looked down in shock at the mirror and soon saw the man in question. "Did you figure it out?"

"Harry!" Hermione all but was shouting as she said: "Do you know what these mirrors do?"

"My guess is that they act like phones and let me talk to Sirius." He replied dryly. "Sirius?"

"Your dad and I created these for when we had been given detentions by different teachers." The ex-prisoner explained. "To call me, just say my name. It works both ways, when you say my name it buzzes, you then activate it with the same phrase as the map."

"Does it let you call anyone else?" Hermione asked as she moved to sit next to Harry so that she could see Sirius as well as hear him.

"No, there were only two mirrors. If you wish to work on increasing that number, I will give you the runes and charms that we used." Sirius replied. "So, how are things?"

"Fine. Cedric is head boy and Angelina from Gryffindor is head girl. The odd thing is that Snape didn't choose Malfoy for Slytherin." Harry said telling his godfather what had happened.

"Not so much of a shock. He wished to but since he is his godfather, the Board of Governors made him change it to another kid who had better grades and less detentions." Sirius replied. Seeing Harry's annoyance at not knowing this, he said "Thems the breaks, Pup. I can't always tell you what goes on in those meetings."

"That's okay, but Malfoy is going to be a total git, even more than usual and we both know that Snape will be out for my badge." Harry grumbled.

"Trust me when I say that it won't be a problem." Sirius said with a wink. Harry heard someone calling out Sirius name and the older wizard turned then said to Harry. "I have got to go, now if you will excuse me, I have to go spend the rest of the day celebrating National Lazy Mom's day."

"But Sirius you aren't a mom." Hermione protested, not even mentioning that his holiday didn't exist.

"Really?" He inquired with a smirk. "I am no Lily but I do the same job that mom's do. I remind Harry to brush his hair, clean his teeth and his room and even go clothes shopping with him. To me, that makes me his mom, unless...unless, pup, do you see Remus as the Mum?"

Harry laughed and said: "I wouldn't let him hear you saying that, Sirius."

"Dobby?" Harry laughed even harder at that suggest.

"Then Ms. Granger, I guess I am right. Now, I am going to spend the rest of my special day doing what all moms do." He stopped for a moment and then looking at Hermione asked. "What does your mom do when she isn't with you?"

"Drill people's teeth to correct their cavities." she said wearing as straight a face as she could.

Sirius' face lit up in a way that had Hermione shuddering as she hastily added: "That is when she is at work, on her days off work, she..."

She had to stop of a somewhat benign event her mom went to that Sirius would never be interested in and then hastily said: "Sometimes she goes to spas on her days off."

"Caio, Pup. Sirius out."

The mirror went back to being a simple mirror and Hermione gulped and looking at Harry said: "Why are there chill bumps on my arm?"

"I don't know, maybe because you might have just unleashed an unsupervised Sirius Black onto innocent humans." He replied then burying his head in his hands, he said "I only hope...

"Yes?" Hermione prompted when Harry stopped speaking.

"I just have a bad feeling about this." He replied.

Later that evening when they arrived at Hogwarts, the two asked Ron to hold spots in the carriages for them as they helped gather the first years for their boat ride across the Black Lake to the castle.

Hagrid grinned at them and called out to Harry and Hermione before guiding his charges across the lake.

Joining Ron, Harry quickly filled him in on the news regarding Malfoy and the gleeful expression on Ron's face at the idea of the blond being in trouble had Hermione sighing as she at least realized that Malfoy would torment Ron with the fact that he also wasn't a prefect.

Entering the castle and seating themselves on the other side of the second years to where the incoming firsties would sit, they noticed an odd buzz to the air and that the Headmaster looked torn between anger and amusement.

"Wonder what is going on with ole Dumbledore." Ron asked as he seated himself next to Neville and across from Hermione.

"No idea, but according to Sir Nick, Peeves was chasing our new History professor around the courtyard earlier." Neville replied. Seeing their surprise at his already knowing what was going on, he shrugged and said: "He greeted our carriage when we arrived."

Professor McGonagall entered followed by the first years and when they were sorted and seated, Harry couldn't help thinking that they looked really really small. There were five girls and four boys in their year who quickly settled in and were getting to know each other when the Headmaster stood to speak.

"Now that our first years have joined us, I have great pleasure in filling all of you in on our wonderful changes this year." He said. Harry wanted to scoff at his pretend happiness, he was well aware that the Board and the Ministry were forcing him to agree to changes that he hadn't wanted to take due to what had gone in the past several years.

"As you may have heard, our Divination Professor, Sybil Trelawney is preparing for a sabbatical and will be wrapping up her duties over the next three years. Please give her a hand as she moves towards her long abated wishes to write."

"She looks thrilled, I think that even Snape looks more excited than she is." Neville whispered as he along with the rest of the students politely clapped for the woman who often predicted Harry's untimely death. Harry looked over at his potions professor and saw that the man seemed to be in a towering rage about something. Hopefully, it wasn't anything in connection to himself.

"Now, to add to our excitement, after a team of Goblins removed the rumored curse on the Defense Against Dark Arts position our Head of Ravenclaw and longtime Charms professor is taking over that position. To those who are unaware Professor Flitwick is a five-time International Dueling Champion."

This was greeted with a much warmer applause which was thunderous from the Ravens. "Some of our older students might remember Professor Lupin from his year spent teaching that very class, he is now our newest Charms professor."

"Why didn't they just give him the DADA job, he was the best teacher we had." Neville asked.

"Some felt that it was better to keep him away from the Dark arts considering his affliction." Fred Weasley said as he slid in as he moved closer to their group from his previous spot. His twin sat on Ron's side.

"That is just..." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I am surprised they brought him back at all." Dean said from where he was seated. Seeing the glares coming his way, he held up his hand. "I am just saying that the Ministry isn't exactly known for doing what is right."

"Amelia Bones and Cedric's dad put in a good word for him." Neville said. "My grams did as well and he is best friends with Harry's godfather so..."

"So nepotism at it's best, huh Potter?" The annoying voice from the nearby table had Harry rolling his eyes then turning to look at Malfoy whose face turned puce when he saw the P on his robes. "Of course, you would get it. Just wait until my father hears that you of all people were made a prefect."

Hermione hissed for Harry to ignore him which he did, turning his back on the git when he saw that Fred was watching the blond just in case. As he did he heard the Headmaster announcing the newest History professor and had to hide his need to snicker.

He had meet Delores Umbridge who had been fired from her position in the Ministry at the beginning of summer and couldn't help noticing how much she looked like a toad in spite of the frothy pink sweater and bow she wore. The woman started to stand as if to speak but no words came out of her mouth when she did so, so she quickly sat down and glared at the others seated nearby, especially Remus who she loathed for being a werewolf.

Dumbledore was about to do his usual trick to bring the food to the table when the great doors were flung open in a repeat of the previous year. Harry heard Ron groan at the delay of the food while he himself groaned when he saw who was entering.

"Harry, why is Sirius here?" Hermione was asking in a worried tone that changed to puzzled as she added "What is up with his hair?"

"What hair?" Fred inquired as he took in the man he had seen at Kings Cross with long hair and a mustache and now had hair whose length was about at his shoulders and no mustache. "He looks odd."

"Did you see who is with him?" Neville whispered. Harry saw Fudge and Bones along with two people he didn't know.

"Sorry for the delay, Albus." Sirius said as he and his entourage arrived at the Head table. He then greeted the various staff members even being polite to Snape which worried both Hermione and Harry who know better.

"I was unaware that there was a delay." Albus replied. "So no apology is necessary, Mr. Black. May I inquire what brings you to Hogwarts this evening."

"That would be our doing." Cornelius Fudge announced then handed the Headmaster a scroll. "I rather fear that the father of one of your students expressed concern for the lack of security and the weakness of the wards. As we were already working on a plan, it was merely a matter of meeting with the Board of Governors and with a flick of a wand, we have solved your problem."

"I was unaware that I had a problem." Albus politely said. "Maybe you could stop in tomorrow morning and we could speak on this issue as the students are awaiting their evening meal."

"We will join you, but really, there is no need to speak about this. As I mentioned we already solved the problem and Mr. Black was very accommodating to my request to serve the Ministry in this capacity." Fudge stated.

"Perhaps we can adjourn this for now." Albus stated yet again.

"No, no, it's not a problem, Albus. Now, here is the scroll authorizing Sirius to act as the Ministries adjutant and security adviser regarding Hogwarts. As he is already on the Board of Governors, we felt that there would be no conflict of interest. " Fudge responded.

The Headmaster sounded like he was choking when he repeated "Security adviser."

"Yes, yes, after the issues the last four years and considering his rather vast knowledge and know how regarding the wards and how to get by them the Ministry feels he is the perfect wizard to inspect the school and help rectify it's issues both regarding security and well, to be honest the problems regarding the safety of the students in all matters."

Harry saw that Snape was glaring at his godfather as if trying to use his gaze to kill him and that even Remus looked puzzled until Amelia Bones added her own statement.

"Yes, the father of Mr. Malfoy expressed concern regarding recent issues and well, he offered to donate his own time to solving the problems but given Mr. Black's well documented escape and how he was able to move about the school a few years ago without being seen that he would be the best to provide the knowledge to solve the problem."

Albus capitulated, as he realized Sirius was the lesser of two evils. He did not wish to have Lucius Malfoy getting a toe hold back into HIS school. Graciously inviting the former prisoner to join them for dinner, he was clearly a taken back when Fudge took that as an offer to the entire group.

Harry was dying to talk to his godfather to find out what was going on but that quickly changed to wishing to bury his head in his hands when his godfather rather loudly greeted his fellow Marauder with.

"Hey Moony, would you happen to know how to transfigure this here spoon into a drill." Sirius eagerly asked.

"What is a drill?" When Harry heard Lupin's reply, he realized that his godfather had used a sonarous charm so that the whole Great Hall could hear what he was saying then it went silent so that the students couldn't hear but it was rather clear that the professors could.

"It's something that muggles like Hermione's mom uses on teeth. I tried the spa day thing. I am not sure what they did to my hair, but you won't believe what they charged me for it before tossing me out of the building."

"Why would they do that?" Lupin asked in a resigned tone as he looked out to where Harry was clearly cringing.

"Well there was this man who told me he was a stylist, then he tried to put this smelly stuff on my hair that made it look like Snape's." He answered. "Why would I spend a fortune on hair care if I wanted my hair to look like that, I mean, it would be cheaper to not wash it like Snape does. By the way, did you know that Harry thinks of you as the Mom in this arrangement, so I wondering..."

Lupin heard the sound of a chair crashing and looked up to see Snape storming out of the Great Hall and heard Flitwick saying oh dear, the that is the fifth chair broken since Black was found innocent.

"Padfoot, behave." He warned.

Sirius looked at his watch then over at Albus who was shaking his head in disappointment at him. Winking at the old man he turned to Amelia Bones and said "You owe me two galleons, it didn't even take the five minutes I said it would."

Remus waited until Sirius had received his galleons then handed them back to Madam Bones telling the woman to put them in the account towards any future fines he might incur to ask. "Seriously? Sirius."

"Now Moony, don't be jealous. I put funds in an account towards bail and fines for you too. After all, what would I do without you? So, can you?"

Moony looked at his oldest friend and knowing he was going to regret it asked. "Can I what?"

"Use this spoon to make a drill." Sirius inquired holding up a soup spoon.

"Sirius, I don't even know what a drill is." He replied then seeing Sirius pointing towards Hermione Granger, he added "And I am not going to ask Ms. Granger. How about you be seri-er, answer my question regarding what happened to your hair?"

"I told you I went to a spa like Hermione suggested to celebrate National Lazy Mom's day." He said and stopped speaking, knowing that Remus wouldn't be able to resist asking.

The werewolf just played straight man for the joker and did as he was prompted. "Okay, Sirius, I will play. Just what is National Lazy Mom's day and why are you of all people celebrating it?"

"Well, Moony, I am so glad you asked." Sirius said beaming his thousand watt smile at Remus and sending shudders through Severus Snape even if he wasn't there to see it. "National Lazy Mom's Day is a celebration for the day that your children go back to school. Now, since Harry didn't think you would like to be the mom, that meant I had to celebrate."

"And this need to transfigure your spoon into a drill?" He asked.

"Hermione said that her mother spends her time away from Hermione either going to a spa, which really is a rather odd place. I was the only male customer, can you believe it. Anyhow the other option is using a drill on people's teeth. Apparently it relaxes her."

"Mr. Black why would you use a drill on teeth?" Sirius was asked by Aurora Sinestra from her spot next to McGonagall who was staring at Sirius as if torn between fascination and terror.

"Do you know what a drill is?" He happily inquired of the professor even if she was wearing green trim that indicated a former Slytherin.

"It's something that muggles use to create holes." Charity Burbage stated knowledgeably. "They would not use it on muggle teeth."

"Charity, do you really think someone like Ms. Granger would make a mistake like that?" Flitwick asked doubtfully. "I am rather sure that Mr. Black heard her wrong."

"No, that is what she said that her mother uses drills on people's teeth." Sirius replied and the blond trying to exit the hall through the same door as his godfather stopped to eavesdrop as the wizard explained that he had done some checking and found out that dentists were apparently very feared in the muggle world.

There were some frowns then most of the staff turned to look at the young muggleborn student who was whispering to Harry and missed their stares. The others at the Gryffindor table didn't and told the duo quietly speaking what they could see.

Hermione looked up and saw that they were staring at the group and looked at Harry with pity in her eyes said "What do you think he has done now?"

"I don't know but with the way they are looking this way, it doesn't look like this year will be anymore peaceful than the ones preceding it." Harry replied in a resigned tone.

"You know, it looks like they are looking at Hermione, not you, Harry." George replied after a few minutes of watching the professors. When those looks changed from quizzical to horror, he said "No, I must have been wrong. It's only Harry that ever gets those looks."

Ron noticed that the table behind them was missing a certain blond git and after looking around the room said "Malfoy is gone."

"Yeah, I saw him speaking to Warrington awhile ago." Fred replied. "He just left by the side door near the professor's table."

Downstairs in the dungeon, Draco Malfoy knocked on his godfather's door and was soon let into his quarters. "Draco, I don't have time or the inclination to deal with your foolishness right now. So unless it is important, I suggest that you let it go until tomorrow."

When the blond didn't say anything, Snape looked over at the boy and said "I spoke to your father about your regrettable lapse in judgment on the train and he has agreed to cede to my suggestion of punishment."

The blond merely stood there as he outlined the rather harsh punishment being meted out without even protesting which had Snape looking at the boy then saying "Finite Incantum."

Draco still didn't speak, he merely sank onto the dark green fabric sofa and after several more minutes of thought interrupted his godfather to ask. "What is a drill?"

"Draco, I don't have time for nonsense." He sharply stated.

"It's something muggle, I know that but what is it?"

"It's a muggle tool with a sharp edge that they use at very high speeds to create holes in things." He answered after counting to ten. "Why?"

"Nothing." Draco hastily replied suddenly deciding that for now, he would be careful and gather more information, for now he would be careful about not pissing off the mudblood. He had had no idea, but he should have, after all she had broken his nose three years earlier...

"Draco, if there is nothing else go to your dorm and get ready for inspection." Snape replied and when his godson was exiting, he knew he would regret it but asked. "Are you sure you don't wish to tell me what is going on in your head?"

"No, there is nothing." Snape couldn't help thinking truer words were never spoken until Draco stopped again and turned to say "But-."

"Well is it true that muggles use those drill things are teeth?" He asked.

Blinking at the odd turn, Severus said "Do I look like I would know, now why?"

Draco looked at his godfather then said "That's weird, that is what Sirius Black said."

"What did that moron Black say?"

"He was telling that werewolf that he wanted him to transfigure a spoon into one of those drill things to use to on your teeth. If you want my memory of it so that you can get him fired, I will give it to you."

"What exactly did Black say?" Snape said seething as Draco explained that Black had preceded to insult him and his teeth saying that he would make Snape his first victim once he was a dentist.

Draco went silent while Snape who had spent time in the muggle world realized exactly how he was being insulted. Looking at his godson, he said "That won't be necessary."

"But is everything he said about drills true? That they are used on teeth to drill holes?"

Not wanting to get into a long drawn out explanation with his godson, Snape quickly answered yes and sent him on his way. By the time he arrived for his inspection of the trunks in Slytherin, Draco had managed to warn his classmates about Granger and how her mother was someone who tortured people and took money for it.

Since no self-respecting Slytherin would ever be seen in Muggle studies, Draco's rather complicated and exaggerated lurid tale has the entire house of snakes vowing to either avoid the fifth year mudblood or sending letters to their parents about how a mere muggle was into torture or both.

Either way the result was that over the next several weeks, Hermione Granger found herself rather surprised to not hear one single Snake insult her and in one rather memorable occasion, had been ran into by Draco himself who had stuttered an apology and had run the opposite way.

Harry who had been with her stood there slack jawed watching as the blond git ran so fast he was nothing more than a black and green blur. "What on earth was that about?"

"I don't know, but I do know that I like it." Hermione replied with a laugh as she hooked her arm through Harry's as they meandered towards the Great Hall for Lunch. "What is Sirius celebrating today?"

TBC