Disclaimer: I do not Own Hikaru No Go ^_^

Chapter 1

'Farewell'

It's my grandfather's funeral. I looked around and I could see the sadness in the eyes of those people attended the funeral. A friends and neighbors. Just like me, they're all mourning. My grandfather's sudden death was something I never even imagine to occurred so soon.

Despite his age, grandfather was indeed healthy and cheerful. Sometimes I wonder, which one of us is an old man and a teenager.

I cried in silence. I am fifteen years old. And it's been ten years since I lost my voice. A tragic accident cost the life of my father and my voice. The doctor diagnosed a vocal cord paresis due to my neck trauma during the accident.

An operation made, then my voice slowly yet hoarsely returned. It sounded awful for a child like me that time. So I preferred not to talk at all. Since then, my voice gone again. Medically speaking there's a lot of hope. The doctor said they don't diagnosed anything wrong with my vocal cords anymore. Perhaps it's my mentality.

Still, the doctor never gave up and suggested that with the help from voice therapists my voice will be back again. I became rebellious and refused to listened because I don't want to burden grandfather for paying too much for me. However, I'm stil meeting the voice therapist because grandpa begged me. Until I reached the age of ten, I completely gave up. Despite, the therapist gave us a prescriptions, a monthly medication to avoid any complication.

Because of my mother's depression towards my father's untimely death and her voiceless son, grandfather decided to raise me in her place. She's been a good wife and a mother. That was grandpa said. But father's death was something changed inside her. No one could blame her for that. It's not just father's death and the lose of my voice destroyed my mom's sanity that day. It was the revelation my father's unfaithfulness the day of the accident.

Ironic isn't it? To think that grandpa, the father of my father's mistress adopted me. He said, it was his only way to pay his daughter's sin.

As a child, how on earth I would know that the woman with us who spent time in amusement park was my father's mistress. It was my birthday when father picked me up from school saying he wanted to celebrate my special day and introduced me to my so called godmother. Driving back home, a speedy reckless car bumped onto us.

That time he rushed to Tokyo when he received a call about his daughter's accident. And that's when he found out about me. A month after the accident grandpa took me to Aomori, his hometown. Away from a huge city of Tokyo.

He treated me as his own grandchild and even changed my family name into his. Changing my old name that I never bothered to ask. Proving I am his only grandson. That I'm adored and loved by him.

I looked around. Still having these tiny hope that maybe my mother will hear the news and attend grandfather's funeral. Perhaps the news about me being an orphan will reach her.

My own mother completely abandoned me. I know that fact so well. And yet, I'm still dreaming that one day my mother will show up to take me. But it never happen. She abandoned me while I'm suffering and she just moved on in her life.

Maybe that's why grandpa pitied me and adopted me. But I knew that's not the reason. It's because I am me. And besides I could hardly remember memories of my childhood and the doctor says it might be good if I don't recall any of it and move on.

I learnt as I grew up that she's from a wealthy family and the revelation of my father's affair tainted her family's reputation. My mother was still young that time grandfather sadly confessed, so he can't blame her from running away on her responsibilities towards me.

How unfair, isn't it? She's still young that's why she abandoned me? But what about me? I just turned five years old that time. Am I not young enough to be taken care of?

There were those times I wished that I just died together with my father. That I can finally rest on peace. That I don't suffer from those nightmares. That I won't have to hear other kids taunting me from the lack of capability to talk. And so that I won't have those pitiful and sorrowful moments in my life.

Did mother ever wonder how frighten I am when I happen to be trap with two dead people in the car overnight?

Did she ever wonder that maybe I am hungry or thirsty for being there with nothing to eat or drink?

Did mother ever wonder how many times do I may call her name for help?

Did she ever wonder that maybe I'm longing for her embrace to warm my shivering cold body...or maybe I wanted to hear her voice saying...Hikaru mommy is here...you will be alright...

Did she even wonder what do I look like, now that I'm at fifteen. And maybe I too, wonder what she looks like...right now.

All I had is the memories of grandfather's face. My only family. He works so hard to raise me despite his age. He teach me a lot of things and hardship in life. His love and affection was the only thing that keeps me...and push me to live.

How could I ever forgot all his funny stunts and sacrifices while raising me. How could I ever forget those sleepless night he spent next to me when I'm suffering from nightmares while murmuring soothing words, that he won't ever leave me alone.

Grandpa was always there for me.

He's laugh was really contagious. He may not hear me laughing...but my heart is. He is my joy. He is the best grandpa ever!

His cheerfulness and proud stories about him being a amateur champion in some Go tournament leads me to learn the ancient board game. It was when I turned eight years old. Then I met a thousand-year-old Heain ghost haunted grandfather's precious antic goban when he proudly showed it to me. That day I fainted.

At first, grandpa thought that I was being delusional or perhaps having an imaginary friend because of my young age.

The ghost introduced himself as Fujiwara no Sai. I was confused. I often heard that me and grandpa lived in Sai, a small village in Shimokita district of Tohoku region. But the ghost just wailed out loud saying that it was just a coincidence that his name was the same name of the village we lived.

He's a pathetic excuse for a ghost. Heck, I can hear his voice calling me Meanie! So different from what I imagined ghost should be. Not like a ghost I always seen in a movies who could possesed or eat the people around them. He acts like a kid more than me. His mood swings a lot depend upon the situation. It made me wonder why the child like me who supposed to be taken care of needed to adjust for an old man and immature ghost instead.

While the childlike ghost keep on insisting that I was the only person who could see him, I continued to insists and believed that he is definitely visible to others. Not until I reached my ninth birthday.

While grandfather is busy managing his sushi shop, I continued attending school. I worked hard to fit in. To be a normal kid.

For a child. I am mature. That was people used to tell me. I struggled a lot trying to live my life as a normal child as if nothing wrong with me. I refused to go to special school for disable kid like me. As I do believed that I can just live my life normally. Of course with the huge help from grandpa and my personal ghost. I managed somehow.

Sai told me the story of his life. Everything happened to him while he was still alive. He gladly shared his time with Kuwabara Torajirou. Known as Honinbo Shūsaku in modern days. Heck, I even search his name in the library and I learn that Torajirou was indeed the best Go player in history. Or Sai to be precise, since he was the one who played all of Torajirou's games. So I took Sai's teaching seriously, since I already knew the basics from grandpa.

I asked Sai to possessed me too so he can play Go as much as he can through me, but he strongly declined. Saying that he learn his lesson and he don't wanna commit the same mistakes from the past.

Teaching and playing with me was more than enough for him as he, Sai being careful not to repeat the same mistake he'd done to his first host. Though I told him that Torajirou won't blame him nor regret that decision to let Sai played all his games. Never ever.

My life went on like that everyday until the age of twelve and half, Sai sadly confessed to me that he will soon disappear. It truly breaks my heart, despite he wanted me to go on with my life.

He explained to me that Kami gave him a task. It was to show and teach me his Go. For all those years we've been played together, as he teach me how to play Go, historical stuffs and good manners as he says, I teach him about modern days, speaking thru minds.

Those days of my life I felt happy and contended. Sai and grandpa was always there for me to remind me that I am Hikaru Shindou, Sai precious student and Heihachi Shindou's one and only dear grandson.

Sai existence was of course unknown by my grandfather, At the thirteenth summer of my life, Sai finally bid his goodbye right after our final game which I managed to win by half moku.

I was devastated. I almost curse Kami, for sending me Sai and taking him again afterwards. I mourned. I stopped going to school and I visited all of the places that related to Honinbu Shuusaku hoping that maybe I could find Sai. I collected Shuusaku's kifus as much as I can afford.

And a week of going here and there. I found nothing. And I accepted the fact that Sai was finally rest in peace. He may be a Go freak but never once he told me to stop playing sport to focus on Go. He wants me choose the path I'd like to walk.

Although grandfather doesn't understand the cause of my sorrow, he tried to cheer me up and offered his precious goban as a gift because he knew that I love Go. My grandpa also bought me a computer that I always wish for the sake of my happiness, too bad we haven't internet connection.

I cried like a river for gratitude. For simply understanding and watching me crying without asking the reason for those tears. Every stones I placed in the goban my tears keeps falling. I recreated the last game I played with Sai again and again and kept blaming myself. If I didn't win that game, perhaps Sai still with me. I blamed myself for that.

That particular night, Sai showed up in my dreams. In that dream he smiled at me while giving me his paper fan. Mouthing words that I am being his student made him so proud. On how he wished that one day he could see me showing to everyone that his Go exists within me.

I cried a lot. Then I moved on. I bought a paper fan. I painted it, with exact colors and details of his fan. A exact replica of his.

I focused on my studies and helping grandfather in his shop after school. I enjoyed playing soccer as a substitute and created a go club, but not officially.

For some reason, grandfather suddenly convinced me to take a high school examination in Tokyo. I asked him why since I could just get into high school nearby. He told the advantages of getting into high school in Tokyo, which I don't really care.

It was as if grandfather felt that he will leave soon, that he fought with me, strongly insisted of moving back to Tokyo no matter what. He checked every possible high school I can get in, and convinced me to take an exam on each school. And I forcefully agreed.

When I got my high school entrance exam results, I decided to enter Haze High School, and dropped the other two. Grandfather bought an apartment without my knowledge. Few days after, he never wake up again.

And the realization hits me. I may have friends and people who cares for me. I only have Sai and grandpa, but I already lose them both. I don't even know any of his relatives. Or if he even has one.

So this time.

I am completely alone.

I looked around and took a deep breath. Finally, I am done packing my clothes and few personal stuffs I'll need to take with me to Tokyo. To be honest I'm quite excited. It's been awhile since I visited Tokyo. I think it was my tenth birthday when grandpa took me to visit his daughter's grave.

I just to took few personal stuffs, grandpa's trophies and our precious goban. I decided to keep the rest along with the house. It's better to just buy new ones instead.

It's still upsets me to think why did grandfather kept everything secret to me. The lawyer, one of grandpa's acquaintance confessed to me that a week before he died, after buying an apartment in Tokyo, grandpa sold the house. He opened a bank account under my name.

He leave the decision for the sushi shop up to me. I let my grandfather's assistant to pay it installment, on how much they can afford to send me monthly for my allowance. I suggested just to give it to them however they refused, saying that I need the money. I know shop will be in good hands.

Perhaps, just like Sai, grandpa felt his life was soon to end. And prepare everything for me. He even contacted an acquaintance in Tokyo to be my guardian once I settled there.

I pocketed the house key and my phone then walk to the neighborhood to bid my goodbye.

"Hikaru-chan." A teary-eyed Aya Kashihino-san greeted me. She run towards me and hugged tightly. "Hikaru-chan, you are going to Tokyo tomorrow. I'm going to miss you. Especially your delicious sushi." She said, in between those sobbing.

'I will miss you too Aya-san.' I wanted to tell her. She's been a mother to me. She and her husband Kouji-san, my grandfather's assistant was like a parents to me since the couple never had a child on their own.

"Son, you know that you can always come back to us if get you lonely in Tokyo. It's s huge city you know...just don't get lost." Kouji-san said while laughing, yet his voice was choking from trying to sound happy. He patted my head gently.

It pains me to see them sad. They are the parents that I wished for, yet I could never really had. Life is so unfair sometimes. For such a good people like them, why didn't Kami blessed them at least one child. And why those people who never care on their own. Again, I blamed Kami for what's happening in my life which I know a bad habit. I must really stop this bad habit of mine.

I smiled. 'I know. Aya-san told me that you lost your way in Tokyo and afraid to return there.' I scribbled in my small white erasable board I always carry with me. Smiling.

Kouji-san blushed, then snickered. "You naughty child. Just because you know how to ride a train doesn't mean you won't get lost...hahaha!" He pulled me towards him and embraced. "I'm so proud of you Hikaru-kun. I dream of getting into high school in Tokyo but I couldn't, yet you do it so easily. Just don't forgot about us, okay... Son." And the tears he tried to suppressed finally fell.

Aya-san joined us and I cried, pouring out all the sadness inside me heart. I'm thinking how many years it will take for me to feel their warm loving embrace again.

"Oi Shindou!"

"Hikaru! I heard someone calling my name loudly. And there I saw, my dear friends. I may be mute, but they are those people who treated me normally...equally.

I knew them since we're ten years old. Ever since then we're all inseparable despite belonging to a different classes.

Souma and Kino are cousins, both loud and we played soccer together. Sakuno and Sakura are identical twin sister, a member of our school's cheering squad. And Ayase is the closest friend to me since we both played Go.

We may not able to create Go club officially in school, but we manage to spent some time to play. As usual, I'm the one who teaches them. That time Sai was still me. It was really good time. Ayase lost his left arm from an accident, maybe that is why we are more closer than the rest. We have something in common.

Those time we spent all together was something really dear to me. And I always treasure them.

"Shindou... Hikaru..." Everybody suddenly jumped on me and we all embraced. I hate dramatic encounter seriously. But at this moment, I hugged them back. How can't I? I won't know how many years before I could so see them again. They are my dear friends I'm gonna leave behind.

I don't really want to go. But this is something grandpa decided for me. I knew he had a reason, though I am not sure what it is. And besides, it's time for me to go forward to start a new life. This place. Everything around me painfully reminded me of Sai and grandpa so I must go.

Maybe in Tokyo, I can found something I'm longing and looking for. Something I'm not certain.

"Come inside Hikaru-kun...everyone. I made ramen this time. It's on me!" Kouji-san announced.

"Yey!" My friends cheerfully obliged. And we spent the rest of the night happily.

A/N: Most of the characters mentioned in this chapter are my OCs. Forgive me for not describing their appearances. More OCs to come TEEHEE. Ignore my wrong grammar pls xd

Please forgive me for not updating my other incomplete story. I' so frustrated that lost all the files I saved. I have no idea how it happened. T_T I needed to write to them all again. So it's on HIATUS for now.

I'm having a writer's block on those stories and quite hard to restart writing again. It takes me a long month before I moved on due to lose of my files then I write a new one instead. Of course I will continue and finish those stories no matter how long it takes to complete it. Don't worry.

thank you and review onegai ^_^

Kei