THE MALFOY MARRIAGE MEMOIR

Preface

It's Not As Easy As It Seems

'FUCK YOU!'

'Well, guess what, you already did, sweetheart, last night, and then you fell right asleep as you ALWAYS do. And no one's enjoying it!'

'You're enjoying it!'

'Are you kidding me? You come in late, I'm sleeping, get in next to me, HOG THE FUCKING COVERS, then a second later you're all "hey, baby I missed you" and then you get right down to it! It's kiss my shoulder two times – I COUNTED! – AND now my shoulder is fucking freezing because you've hogged the covers, then grab my waist and stroke my thighs and then kiss my neck thrice, twice on the neck, once on the pulse point, then a very aunt-like peck on the lips and THAT'S. FUCKING. IT. That's all the foreplay we do before your clothes are off.'

'Aunt-like peck?! The hell do you mean by an aunt-like peck? Draco Malfoy does not give aunt-like pecks, thank you very much.'

'Well, he may not to his girlfriends but he certainly does to his wife.'

No one spoke for a beat.

'Honestly? You think I'm cheating on you?'

She shrugged and said nothing, the sighed, brushing her bushy curls out of her face. 'No, I don't.'

'Then don't fucking say that I'm cheating on you!'

'I didn't! I did not say the word "cheat."'

'Well, you insinuated it!'

'That's not the same thing,' she replied exasperatedly.

'Well, it was the fucking same thing when I insinuated that maybe you need to ease it up with SPEW in order to –'

'Don't bring Leo into this!' she screeched.

'I was merely giving an exa-'

'No! I said it then, I'm saying it now; just because I've had Leo doesn't mean my life is over! I'm not going to sit around and mother my kid all day if that's what you want me to do.'

'Oh, for fuck's sake,' he snapped, banging on their dining table and disturbing their son who was sleeping in the nursery. 'Don't make it about this again. We've had this exact same conversation before; I'm not ready for a replay just yet.'

'Oh, of course, you're not ready. I'm sure it's too much for you, Merlin forbid you ever lend a hand to help out with YOUR son.'

'Oh, my God, not this again, I refuse to be a part of this conversation if you're just going to be standing there blaming me for all this shit. We're in this together, Hermione, remember that. I mess up, he's MY son. You take care of him, he's YOUR son. Guess what, he's OURS, and he's –'

Just then there was a rattling sound of a toddler crying and they both cringed.

'Fuck.'

'About right,' she said, resting her palms against the table between them and groaning. 'It's your turn. And don't you dare deny it or you'll be eating slugs for a week.'

'Wasn't going to.'

'Sure.'

Draco sent her a contemptible glare and went inside to soothe his son as he briefly recalled that their conversation had started with a simple question of – "What's for dinner?"

He sighed as he entered the room, but his gaze softened at the sight of his son.

'Well, mate,' he said over the sound of his howling. 'It looks like you've got me for now. And it's gonna be a long night.'

-X-X-X-

A/n - This is kind of a sequel to The Draco Date File that I wrote two years ago. The idea's been playing about in my head for quite a bit of time now. That being said, it's good enough to be read as a stand-alone fic too. Those who haven't read DDF do not need to, though I recommend you may, it might give you some insight about the Draco in it.

This is super short, but it's like a preface, so the chapters will be longer.

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