"Playing video games really is all you seem to do."

"Eh? What are you saying, Blanc, of course, that's all I do! It's a goddess job to stay entertained!" Neptune bend backwards so far that she could look at Blanc like she was upside down. "You're such a bore!"

"A bore…? We just played Nep Fighter 5 for eight hours..."

"Yeah, exactly! It's barely a third for a day! Arcade mode is so boring. Imagine if someone picked up an RPG and I was the only one in the starting party and they had to just grind for the first boss, and- oh, wait, I obviously wouldn't be alone, I got Nepgear."

"Did you call me, Neptune?"

"Eh? Oh, no, nope. But if you're already here, seconds on the sandwiches!"

"Jeez, you really should stand up once in a while, your legs will fall asleep and all those calories will-"

Neptune was replaced by Purple Heart in a flash of light. "That is not a problem. I will just game in this form for the next hour. It will take care of any excess calories."

Blanc couldn't believe she was stuck here. Not that she disliked Neptune, out of all the options available she was definitely the best.

"Say Blanc, are you sure it was okay to have Ram and Rom stay with Vert?"

"Vert always complains about her lack of little sisters. Maybe taking care of them until reparations are done will teach her that having little sisters can be stressful as well." Blanc rubbed her eyes, looked at the book she had open and questioned if it was still today or already tomorrow. Neptune seemed to just arbitrarily sleep with her eyes open and continue gaming, otherwise there was no way to explain her unearthly gaming stamina.

Sitting on the couch, next to Neptune, or rather, Purple Heart, Blanc was glad that she hadn't gone to Lastation. Mina sent her an email earlier that Kei was already making her help out with work. She hadn't heard from Ram and Rom outside of the usual junk mail they constantly sent, which was a good sign. Maybe they'll do good and Vert finally shuts up for good about her sister-less existence.

Barely ten minutes passed before Neptune transformed back, groaning and stretching. "Ah, that's too tiring, way too tiring! Blanc, Blanc, wanna play an RPG instead? Nepgear picked up Tails of Symphony and we can play that together."

"Wasn't that on our last generation console?" Blanc was not a gigantic fan of RPGs but she liked them well enough.

"The company that made it ported it to Noire's black brick later and then we ported it to our system! So wanna play? I actually think there's a character like you in the game. Short and super strong." And super flat!

"Do you ever actually sleep?" Blanc asked while she put her book aside. "But fine. We can play it."

"All the way to the final boss in one sitting it is!"

"Hey..."

"Nepgear! We need a player three and four so get on the phone and call Uni and get your Nep butt over here!"

"Hey..."

"What? You wanna be player 1, Blanc?"

"I don't mind being player 2, I usually-" Blanc stopped when she realized that Neptune was just railroading her into playing a 40-60 hour long RPG in one go. "Are you seriously expecting me to play a game that long in one sitting? What about food and bathroom breaks?"

"Easy-peasy, there is just player 1 controls outside of battle, so Nepgear can make food during cutscenes and you can find a toilet too!"

"Are you some kind of gaming god-" Blanc stopped herself again and groaned. She is a goddess, but that isn't exactly what I wanted to say

Neptune jumped off the couch, found a disc case of Bait 'n Kaidos and took the Tails of Symphony disc out of it, put it into the console and closed the lid. "Start-o!" Neptune already fired up the game and jumped back onto the couch and immediately fell over and rested her head on Blanc's legs. "Oh, that's way more comfy than I thought!"

"Could you not treat me like a pillow?"

"I'm sure Vert wouldn't mind."

Blanc's right eye twitched twice. "W-Well, I suppose I can let you rest for as long as the intro cinematic lasts."

=== Pudding and Books ===

Neptune's legs went over Blanc's lap, her back resting against Nepgear's side, who was squeezed by the side of the couch with Uni. "Maybe we need to grind some more."

"If you followed the strategy we discussed we wouldn't be dying." Blanc played as the physical front liner, Leud. Neptune was controlling Kolet.

"Your sister is just button mashing, Nepgear."

"All great masters mash!" Neptune didn't see anything wrong with that.

"I am pretty sure they don't." Blanc had already memorized all her moves and she was far more awake than she had expected to be, fourteen hours ago. "You need to stop bouncing all over the battlefield."

"Really? I thought I was totally doing okay." Getting criticized by Blanc over her performance in an RPG stung a little. If it was that stupid perfectionist loner Noire, she wouldn't care, and Vert was just crazy extreme about gaming performance anyway.

Neptune looked up at Blanc. "So what should I do?"

"Stop mashing, for one. Combine left-right physical and… actually, give me that." Taking Neptune's controller from her, Blanc went into the menu and changed her active skills. "There. Use right-circle, up circle, down circle after three physical attacks. You got a bunch of MP so just use them."

"Oh, nice! Thanks!" Neptune reached for her controller but Blanc held it out of her reach. "Uhm, Blanc, I still need my controller to play."

"No more mashing. I don't wanna be stuck at this boss for another hour, no matter how good the music is."

"Right-o." Neptune bounced on Blanc's lap, grabbed her console and landed again, looking back towards the TV. "Time to attack the boss' weak spot for massive damage!"

Uni groaned. That line… Noire would die of embarrassment if she heard her say it.

Fighting the boss again, they did significantly better, not only because Neptune actually stopped button mashing, but also because she followed Blanc's lead. "Oh yeah, sweet victory, come to Nep!" Pouncing on Blanc's lap, Neptune stretched and nearly kicked Nepgear in the face. "Onwards, girls! There are no stops on the RPG train!"

"I am going to make some food. There are a lot of cutscenes now." Nepgear really wanted to stretch her legs. Playing the healer was not too boring, but the non-stop sitting for hours was really giving her couch sores.

"Blanc, could you summarize the story for me when we get back? I am going to help Nepgear so it doesn't take forever." If I sit here for one more minute my legs are going to fall off. How does Blanc just keep sitting there?

Being left alone with Blanc, Neptune didn't really bother to move off the lap of the Lowee girl. "Imagine if we were characters in a romantic story, this would totally trigger all the flags for us to have a romantic development!"

"Could you not say such meta things? You're killing the immersion."

"Of who? I was just saying what if, come on Blanc, I wouldn't talk directly to the re-" Neptune's mouth was covered by Blanc's left hand and only muffled sounds came out. When Blanc didn't remove her hand after Neptune went quiet, the Planeptune girl started patting Blanc's arm. Give, give! And Blanc finally obliged after Neptune looked a bit desperate. "So violent. Are we already in the DV chapter? I am not into that sort of play, Blanc!"

"I'm gonna whack you."

"You're no fun, Blanc. If it's just us two on screen, we gotta entertain!"

"What do you mean on screen? First of all, this is all tex-" Blanc punched Neptune right on the head when she realized what she way saying. "Don't make me say meta things!"

"Ow! Ow times three! Ow! See how that last one was even more-" Neptune rolled off Blanc's lap to avoid a second hit. "Okay, okay, stop, maximum stop, like when you're about to eat eggplant! Just because you gotta stay in character doesn't mean you hafta hit me!"

"Hafta? What sort of character are you supposed to be now?" Blanc put her right palm to her face when she realized she was making meta comments again.

"Truce? No more meta! I promise! Pinky thousand needle swear of girl scout honor!" Even though I never went to the girl scouts.

Neptune returned to the couch but cautiously sat a good ten centimeters away from Blanc. "But if this was a romance story, how do you think you would fall for me?"

"Why are you assuming that I am the one that would fall for you?" I give up. I'll just play along.

"Oh come on, I'm the protagonist of all protagonist! I'm always number one!"

"You're certainly the person with the biggest ego on this planet."

"Nah, that's gotta be Lonely Heart."

"I suppose the only thing that would make me interested in you is your funny nature."

"Eh?! That's it?! Not my awesome awesomeness? Or my super nice body? Have you seen my butt? I definitely have the best butt in Gamindustri!"

"The way you're advertising it so much makes you look really insecure."

"Nepu!? Really? Really seriously really?" Neptune got on all fours, sticking her butt out towards Blanc. "I'm just calling it as it is! Look! You can even touch!"

Blanc felt strangely reminded of Vert, seeing Neptune's butt up close like that. "Get your damn ass out of my face!"

"Eh, just touch it! You'll see how great- Nep~u!" Neptune went figuratively flying off the couch when Blanc didn't so much touch Neptune's butt, but punched her. "So… so… rough..." Neptune groaned, on the ground. "I didn't know you were into rough play, Blanc…"

"Can we please talk about something else?"

"Fine with me. You know, I was browsing nepchan the other day and I saw a link to some really stupidly long fanfic about us goddesses and stuff. But it was so edgy and dark, I thought my eye balls were gonna get cut just reading it! It's totally like one of those terrible light novels you always write!"

Blanc clenched her fist. "When I said something else, I didn't mean something that will also piss me off."

"No, wait, I was just getting to the point! Like, I couldn't read it because it was full of teenager darkness and stuff and that is more IF's thing. Like, Noire became some super badass evil character… actually that isn't really any different from her real self! So I posted about it on nepchan and they immediately started flinging shit and people started arguing and-" Neptune got ready to dodge a controller being thrown at her. "Apparently you and Vert are super duper lovey-dovey basically married couple in there!"

"Who the fuck would ever get lovey-dovey with thundertits?!" Blanc didn't throw her controller but cracked the casing of the right side. "Ah."

"That's what I said too! And then someone came in and started posting about you and me and how we're rivals fated to fall for each other and it was super obsessive and kinda creepy."

"Why exactly did you even go to nepchan… It sounds like a terrible experience."

"For all the latest and hottest memes of course!"

"Memes…?"

"You know, so the localiz- woah, calm, calm, good Blanc!" Neptune dodged the controller that came flying all the way across the room.

"What part of no more meta is so fucking hard to understand? This is supposed to be a serious story! Do you not understand how important integrity and internal structure is to literature!?"

"Come on, a serious story? About us? About me? Don't be silly, nobody would read that!" Neptune picked up the controller that Blanc threw and casually lopped it over to the usually quiet girl from Lowee. "I mean, in the first place, we're just friends. Except Noire. Noire has no friends."

"She probably considers you a friend." Blanc took Neptune's controller as well and went into the menu the second there was a break after a cutscene.

"Eh, I suppose. Noire's just kind of… like one of those rich lady… dogs. The ones that always bark a lot and are really high pitched, but they're somehow super popular anyway."

"That's a really rude thing to say." Blanc set different skills and changed her equipment. "But I suppose that's… not inaccurate."

"I know, right? You get old little me, Blanc!"

"Vert's even worse than those tiny bark machines. She's like one of those spoiled rotten big ass long hair dogs that jumped in your face and slobber you all over like it's natural."

"Wow, she really gets under your skin."

"Just because that stupid broad was born well developed..." Blanc lost control of the first player controller when Neptune snatched it out of her hands.

"No more breaking my stuff! Vert is pretty funny though. I guess she treats you the same way I treat, Noire!"

"Hey..." Blanc looked annoyed. "That's not something you should be saying with so much pride."

"You're one of those really quiet dogs then, the type that really protects the two tiny adorable cats that live with them and bites your arm off if you piss them off!"

"You're a greyhound then." Blanc looked smug.

"Eh… which one is that?"

The smugness vanished and Blanc just felt apathetic. "I can't even remember what we were talking about."

"Oh, you're going with offensive accessories?" Neptune leaned back against Blanc and looked at her equipment. "Hey, you took that one from me."

"You're more of a mixed physical attacker and spell caster, you didn't really need it. And do you have to use me as your pillow all day?"

"It's fine, isn't it?"

"If it's just you, I don't mind."

"Oh, I just remembered, there's an event to get swimsuits in this game. Speaking of swimsuits, remember that time that stupid adult island nearly didn't let us in?"

"Why would you remind me of that… that bloody machine… just because I retain my youthful look. It didn't treat you any better, though."

"Or Plutie. Man, I was worried you and Plutie were gonna reduce the island to a smoldering ruin when you burst a fuse."

"I am not that irresponsible."

"Yeah. You're less like that gaming addict Vert and more like me, who still does her job."

Where and when exactly do you do your job? "Vert's hobby grosses me out."

"The whole boy's love thing? You wouldn't believe how long it took to purify Nepgear's mind after she went to help out Vert with something and ended up being exposed to that stuff! It's like kryptonite!"

"There you go, saying meta things again."

"But that's what everyone likes about me."

"They like that you're a very optimistic girl, a bright light even when things get tough. You have so many good points, why do you insist on making it all about that strange meta talk and memes?" Blanc looked to the side and saw Neptune blushing furiously. "What the hell are you blushing for?"

"Eh? Well, uh, you know, that kinda sounds like you're into me and stuff. I mean I know all of us have this kind of yuri-yuri vibe going on, but that was like, super-"

"I didn't think you of all people would be bothered by that."

"No, no, no, I mean, come on, that is my shtick! Pushing Noire's buttons and stuff, or Vert playing around, but that came across like really serious."

"You're reading too much into things, Neptune."

"I made some sandwiches, tea, some pickled vegetables and a bit of salad." Nepgear was carrying one of two trays, Uni carrying the other one.

"Oh, feeding time!"

While Neptune stuffed herself with sandwiches, ignoring most of the vegetables, Blanc took it upon herself to actually advance the cutscenes. They had only gotten through one of many, no thanks to Neptune.

More than ten hours later, Nepgear and Uni were sound asleep on the couch, still clutching their controllers in their sleep, survived by Blanc and Neptune, who were just routinely grinding experience now. "They look so much older than Ram and Rom, but they don't really have more stamina than my sisters."

"Nepgear is a bit of a lightweight when it comes to gaming. Give her some gadget to tinker with and she can go for days. I'm not really totally super sure I agree with this strange turn her personality took, you know."

"It could be a lot worse. I heard from Plutia what happened when she came to the Ultradimension."

"Ah…" Neptune didn't wanna say anything about that. Grinding in silence, Neptune changed how she sat, and rested her head back on Blanc's lap. "So, why are you actually here, Blanc? Our next get-together for gaming isn't until like next month. I'm sure I didn't accidentally game for a month straight and forgot, this time at least."

Blanc opened the item menu to pause the battle. "What? Are you serious? Ram and Rom were a little overzealous with their magic training and they made all the water pipes in the castle explode. So we're staying over for a few days. I told you about all of that yesterday."

"Did you?" Neptune looked up at Blanc and looked deep in thought. "Really? You're not just here to trigger my flags?"

"Can you just not?"

"I wouldn't mind. I mean, Noire's way too clingy and tsundere and Vert? Can you even imagine? I would need a ladder to kiss her!"

"Don't you dare make me think about what kissing Vert would look like." And of course, trying not to think about something always worked absolutely perfectly. "Damn you, Neptune."

"Try not to think about bending down and kissing me!" Neptune joked and got into another battle. They were just overleveling at this point.

"I know you enjoy pushing Noire's buttons, but you shouldn't try that with me just because the situation makes it easy."

"Uh, you're no fun. I mean I really wouldn't mind if you went for it, but you're really hard to get to react in a funny way. I guess that's Vert's territory."

"You wouldn't mind if I just up and kissed you?"

"Not in a ew gross, girls kissing way. Or ew, Blanc kissing me. I guess it'd be W for Weird, because you're Blanc, but if I was gonna kiss anyone, you'd be top pick."

"Why?"

"Noire would totally read too much into it, kissing Vert just makes me want to stuff my brain into the washing machine, I can't make a move on someone's little sister, IF has Compa and Plutie would probably tie me up hard and whip me all night. You're the only one that's not crazy!"

"I don't know how to feel about that process of elimination."

"Wanna play something else? Nepgear and Uni are totally out and I don't wanna continue without them."

"No, thanks. I am going to join them and sleep. Where do you have your guest room?"

"Our what now?"

"The room where people that stay over will go to sleep."

"Ain't got such a thing! It's gaming party all night long here in Planeptune!"

"How exactly did you even start skipping sleep for gaming?"

"Oh, long story short, blah blah, yadda yadda, etc etc."

Blanc looked at Neptune for a full minute while Neptune looked back. "What the fuck was that?"

"Eh? I told you, blah blah, yadda yadda- woah!" Neptune rolled off Blanc's lap again when she sensed incoming violence.

"Who the hell understands that?!"

"Eh?! But we use that all the time!"

"But not like this!"

Neptune patted some dust off her skirt and got back on the couch. Wow, Nepgear and Uni are sleeping through this? How tired are they? "If blah blah, yadda yadda doesn't work, I ain't got any explanation for ya!"

"How is that even possible?"

"Hey, do you know how hard it is to remember all the combo moves in Nep Fighter V? If I wanna keep my master ranking I gotta practice my butt off every day!"

Blanc just didn't answer and pretended the topic was done with. Subsequently, Neptune hopped off the couch just after getting back on it. "Blanc, did we save?"

"Give me a second." Blanc picked up Neptune's controller and saved right there on the world map. "Now we did."

"Push." Neptune hit the power button, opened the console up, took out the disc and replaced it with another one. "How about some Nep Calibur? We can play 2 vs 2 and team up on Noire/Vert if you want."

"Done." Blanc really wanted to catch some sleep instead, but a few rounds of beating up Vert were going to be a pleasant finish for the night.

But fifteen minutes later, Blanc had fallen asleep sitting up while Neptune was grinding rounds in survival mode after finding an exceptionally broken move combination. "Ah, crud! That damn infinite combo by Devil Noire is total crap! Who programmed this?!" Neptune put down her controller and leaned against the back of the couch. "Blanc, you wanna try?" But Blanc was sound asleep. "No reply. It is just a corpse." Neptune joked and poked Blanc's cheek. "Hey, Neptune to Blanc, wake up."

But after more than 24 hours of gaming, Blanc was out cold. She usually came prepared to their regular gaming meet-ups, getting excess sleep before and eating energy food while they were at it.

"Now what?" Neptune leaned back and picked the controller up with her feet and managed to navigate to the main menu with just her toes and feet. "Guess I'll go log on to Nepstar Online and get some grinding in."

After an hour of solo grinding, Neptune went for a toilet break and found that Blanc had fallen over, now laying sideways on the couch. Dayum, she is pretty darn cute when she's sleeping. Neptune remembered that anime she had watched three seasons of in a marathon recently and it had a scene just like this. Bending over Blanc, Neptune held back hair that wasn't there and was going to just graze Blanc's lips with her own to be funny. But Blanc turned just at the most unfortunate time and Neptune's lips collided with hers.

Contrary to Neptune's expectations, Blanc opened her eyes and looked at the super close face of the Planeptune goddess. "What the hell are you- Hey." Blanc had her eyes covered by Neptune's hand.

"You're still asleep! You're dreaming~."

"The hell am I!" Blanc wasn't really upset that Neptune had seemingly kissed her in her sleep. If anything, she wanted to fault herself for not seeing this coming after the earlier comments. "What the hell were you doing?"

"It's your fault! You were all defenselessly sleeping on the couch and raising a thousand romance flags with me!"

Blanc really tried to be furious, but there just wasn't enough energy in her to do so in the middle of the night. "Have you even kissed anyone before?"

"Totally! I am like, a super womanizer! No, wait, that's not what I meant." Blanc's strong right reached Neptune's jaw and squeezed like a metal press. "Ow, ow, ow, give, give, you're hurting me, Blanc!"

"This is how you kiss." Blanc figured that she could teach Neptune a lesson by turning her own game against her. It's just a kiss. I am not a hysterical high-school girl that would turn scarlet red over something so trivial. And with fake passion, Blanc's lips met with Neptune's, a mildly wet and amateurish kiss shared between goddesses in the depth of night.

Forcing her tongue in, Blanc used her superior strength and lack of embarrassment to completely ignore the attempts of the squirming Neptune to get away. After what felt like an hour, but was barely a minute and a half, Blanc let go of the eggplant hating girl, who fell backwards, her face red like a blister and kind of glowing. "What, no meme comment?"

"I… didn't know you were really into this, Blanc."

"What the hell are you saying now? You of all people. Do you need a reminder of who it is that always flirts with Noire and pushes her around?"

"No, no, no, that's totally different!"

"I doubt Noire sees it that way. Not so funny when you're the one that gets toyed with." Blanc got off the couch and stretched a little. Do I wake up Nepgear and Uni? I suppose I can just let them sleep here. I just remembered that those idiot sisters don't have a guest room. "I am going to bed. No more antics tonight." Blanc had a higher tolerance for Neptune's behavior than Noire did, but she was still the more serious type, most of the time anyway.

"But we don't have a guest room!"

"That's why I am taking your bed. You won't be using it anyway." Blanc knew exactly where Neptune's room was and headed straight for it. Neptune made no attempts to follow her, so Blanc assumed she would be able to spend a night in peace. But nay.

It wasn't until later that night that Blanc woke up in Neptune's bed and her entire vision was obfuscated by purple hair. To add to that, two really warm hands were resting on her stomach and they definitely were not her own. I can't figure out what she's thinking at all. Blanc was old enough to not care about stuff like this. After everything she and Neptune, and two more annoying people, had gone through, she really didn't mind.

When morning came, Blanc woke up with something else in her face. Neptune's… foot? Blanc was glad that the girl didn't have stinky feet and then immediately couldn't believe that that was the first thought of her day. Feeling around in bed, she figured out where Neptune's butt was and promptly literally kicked her out of bed. There was not a clock in sight anywhere near the bed, so Blanc just got out of bed and searched for most of her clothes. Sleeping naked was something only perverts like Vert would do, but sleeping fully clothed was a bad idea, too. So underwear mode it was.

"Ow… Blanc, that hurt… and after we spent a night together, too..." Neptune's groaning and early morning memeing didn't really impress Blanc.

"Why did you even come to bed with me?"

"Oh, I figured if we already went full steam with the kissing we could just date, and girlfriends sleep together, right?"

Blanc needed a moment to process that. "What?"

"Yeah, you know, I was a bit iffy on the whole girls-love thing before, but you like, left a real impression!"

Blanc didn't look impressed or even excited at all. "I'm asking again; What?"

"Come on, this is how it goes, right! Girl A fools around, girl B takes control and then girl A falls for girl B! That's how all the manga I read goes!"

"I should have known." Blanc left the room and adjusted her clothes a little, with a half naked Neptune running after her.

"Don't be a spoilsport, Blanc! Blanny-Blanny!" Neptune's mouth was shut abruptly by an iron death grip from Blanc.

"Call me that one more time and Planeptune will seriously only have Nepgear as their goddess!"

Neptune wiggled free. "You can't do that! Remember how awful everything was when Nepgear was the protagonist? Cutscene after cutscene and- ow, ow, ow, Blanc, stop, stop!" Blanc ground her knuckles against Neptune's head.

"Blanc. Neptune. Good morning." Nepgear was cleaning up around the couch while Uni was also still there, with her hair damp and tied into a ponytail because she couldn't wake up proper without a shower.

"Oho, I see someone spent the night together." Uni made the sharp comment without any ill intentions; it just slipped out because she was always imitating Noire.

"Well, we adults can spend a night together without our heads exploding. I doubt you could handle that. Although there are some adults, like tsunderes, that can't do that either."

"H-Hey! That's just uncalled for! I'm sure Noire could… easily..." Even Uni couldn't imagine Noire spending a night in the same bed as Neptune without going crazy.

Blanc marched towards the kitchen while the half-dressed Neptune just squatted down in front of the console and put in a game. "First off, gotta play some Nep Racer to shake off the old drowsiness. Hey Blanc, you wanna play some versus racing? Hey, Blanc!" Neptune shouted when Blanc ignored her.

"Neptune, shut up." Blanc couldn't believe that the very first thing the goddess did in the morning was not getting dressed or getting tea, or even eating snacks, but to power up the game consoles. Honestly, I'm surprised she even turned it off. If she did.

Ten minutes later, Blanc did find herself back on the couch anyway, complete with a big cup of tea while Neptune drove a car into a wall at 240km/h. "I always thought that Histoire might be exaggerating about your lack of work ethnic, but it turns out, it's all true." Blanc sipped her tea and just watched Neptune. I need to make sure that doesn't rub off on me.

"Histy is super duper efficient and Nepgear helps her out. My job is being the protagonist. Nothing moves without me so I gotta make sure that I only move when it's protagonist time to avoid causing non-stop stuff happening! You know, happenings all the time would just tire people out, right? Uzume and big me are still running around out there and that's like, enough Neptune already, better stay put and hole up with my games. I am doing the world a favor by not making another big villain and stuff pop out!"

"Your logic escapes me." I'll just pretend she didn't say anything meta. And I totally forgot about her big version and Uzume. "They went to the PC continent for an overseas trip, right?"

"Shhh, you're not supposed to mention that place!" Neptune lost another race and grew sick of playing racing games. "Wanna play Skies of Nepcardia?"

"Isn't that single player?"

"Well, I mean, wanna watch me play? I don't really care so much what I'm playing, but as the protagonist I gotta entertain the audience, you know!"

Blanc sipped more tea and shrugged. "I don't really care." I'll be reading a book. I enjoy gaming, but you're excessive, Neptune.

It was after noon when Neptune was lightly snoring on the couch, the audio of the TV turned down all the way and Blanc reading her novel, playing with Neptune's hair with one hand. This is pretty comfortable. She is adorable when she sleeps. If she was less hyper when she's awake I might take her more seriously.

Turning the page and just reading in peace, Blanc found that Neptune made a good pet. She is like a very big cat. Stubborn, selfish, extremely my pace, does whatever she wants but still wants others to acknowledge her. Imagining Neptune with cat ears and whiskers made Blanc giggle by herself.

"Blanc, I'm not a pet..." Neptune murmured and opened only her right eye. "Don't you get bored, just reading?"

"It's like going through the story of a RPG without the grinding. And there are animals more well behaved than you, so you have no ground to stand your complaint on."

"You're a worse tease than me."

"I don't see how that is true. You're oblivious to it, but the rest of us knows how just how much Noire wants you to pay attention to her."

Neptune looked away and had a surprisingly serious moment. "That's never gonna happen the way she wants it to happen. Never mind that her shares would go down like crazy if she was outed as gay, I don't like her that way."

"You know it's cruel to play around with her if that's true."

"It's service, you know, fanservice."

"So your idiotic persona is just service as well? Because this reasonable and honest Neptune right now is still very likable."

"It is? I figured we'd have a total overabundance and surplus of serious characters among us goddesses if I didn't erode that blue atmosphere you and Noire get going all the time."

"I like you better when you're funny, don't misunderstand. But there is a limit to everything. When you're alone with me like this, you don't need to play the clown."

"Hey, I like being clown-y. It suits my colorful personality!" Neptune smirked. "Get it? Because clowns are always- ow, ow, Blanc, stop, no violence, ow, ow, ow, stop!" Neptune felt her cheeks stretch.

"If I knew you could dial down the puns, memes and erratic behavior, maybe I wouldn't think of you asking me out as nothing more than some short lived idiotic gag you're pulling."

"I like you, but I feel like that would get us into deep, deep trouble with our oracles and our followers."

"With how much you joke around and exaggerate, even a simple I like you, can be interpreted any number of ways."

"Hey, a woman needs mystery! Mysterious Neptune, space detective or demon? Find out in the next episode of bleepdimension Neptunia!"

"Why the bleep?"

"To avoid issues with canon!"

"People do get sick of your meta comments, Neptune."

"Aw, come on, it's not Neptune without the Nep and the Nep means memes and meta!"

"Knowing you, that's an actual dictionary definition like your nation's official measurement unit being Nep, being 146cm."

"Hehe, we're the greatest nation in the world!"

"The nation with the goddesses with the biggest ego-" Blanc stopped. "Oh, that would be Lastation."

"If we're talking about the nation with the biggest things, that would definitely be Leanbox though!"

"Ugh."

"You know, Vert always scores way behind us in popularity polls that the AGPA does! She comes in behind Nepgear and Uni, too!"

"I didn't know that. I'm generally not interested in popularity polls. But I know I will be rubbing that in her face the next time thunderits makes a boob comment."

"You ever think that Vert is just lonely to the max and that's her way of appealing to you?"

"Don't even make me think about that."

"And hey, she's the only one who has no sister and who keeps getting shafted when it comes to games."

"What are you talking about? A lot of games are cross platform nowadays. Our consoles in Lowee have a lot of platform exclusives, but between Lastation, Planeptune and Leanbox, there is a lot of shared-"

"Blanc you derp, not those games." Neptune looked smug and was bonked on the head when Blanc realized what kind of comment that had been. "Ow, hey! I thought you're all for making fun of Vert!"

"Vert deserves it, but she's still one of us. If you make so much fun of her that I have to go and defend her, you're going overboard, Neptune."

"Your lap is kinda comfy. It makes me wanna say pomf when I lay down on it."

"I swear I am going to throw you out the window if you keep up this meme density."

"Wow, okay, calm down there, Angry Heart!"

"Lonely Heart, Angry Heart, what makes that you, Stupid Heart?"

"It's obviously Perfect Heart! P for Purple!"

"I don't understand where your ego and confidence is coming from. All you do is play games and bother others."

"And yet everyone likes me."

Blanc had no retort for that. "Well… I suppose that is true."

"Okay, okay, way too much serious time going on here!" Rolling off the couch, Neptune got on her feet before she hit the ground and picked up the TV remote. "Maryo Party 4, all boards, winner takes all! And by all I mean obviously all the pudding!"

"What are you going to trade me when I destroy you in every board and take all your pudding?"

"My undying love?"

"I don't want that."

"How rude!"

"If you attend Camiket with me, I won't take all your pudding. Maybe I'll even go easy on you."

"Are you perhaps… really good at Maryo Party 4?"

"Not particularly."

"So where is this confidence coming from? That's my shtick! Admin, police! Copyright infringement!"

"I am really good at all Maryo Party games." Blanc laughed haughtily. "Even at the classic Maryo Party 1 and the latest release, 11. You are going to be destroyed so hard, you will be begging me to stop."

Neptune tried to smile but only one side of her mouth obeyed. "O-Oh, you're on!"

A good two hours later, Neptune was flat on the couch, hiding her face under a pillow. "How… how could I have lost? With zero stars even?!"

"Forget stars, you didn't even win a single minigame. For how much you play, you're no good at this at all."

"B-Best out of three! Next we're gonna play Nep Calibur V!"

"Why would you get to dictate the second game as well?" Blanc leaned back. "How about Nep Cart Double Smash instead?"

"Oh, something I'm good at! I'm taking it! You're totally going down this time!"

Three hour passed and Nepgear could hear Blanc and Neptune shouting at each other all the way from the end of the hallway, where their private quarters begun. "Neptune? Blanc?" Cautiously poking her head into the living room, Nepgear saw White Heart and Purple Heart focus on their race on Rainbow Roads with enough intensity to emit color coded auras. Both of them were standing in front of the couch, shifting to the right and left as they drove their carts.

"Eat spiked dogoo, you damn fake titty goddess!"

"Hah, you think I wasn't ready for that? There, lightning bolt! Oh wow, I didn't even notice you shrunk because there's barely anything to shrink about you!"

"What the fuck did you just say?!"

"Come and catch me if there's anything to back up that big mouth of yours!"

"You're only ahead because the RNG keeps favoring you because it's your damn console!"

"What are you, five years old? RNG can't tell a difference like that! It's because I'm the superior cart driver and you're shaped like a plank!"

"At least I don't need to abuse my goddess powers to give myself huge tits so you can feel good about yourself!"

"If you could give yourself big tits, you would have balloons that would put Vert's boobs to shame and you know it!"

"The hell I would!"

"Oh you would, don't you deny it!"

"Big words from someone who's from a line of crazy as fuck goddesses!"

"Hey, bringing Uzume and Plutia into this is bull!"

"Oh, the truth hurts, doesn't it? Lowee has tradition, all Planeptune has is overblown budgets and consoles that nobody wanna develop for so you gotta pay all the ports out of your own damn pocket!"

"Fucking please, who do you think is running your stupid cart game at 60 FPS? Why don't you go and make iteration number 2500 of whatever portable you last flooded the market with?!"

The room exploded when Neptune hit the goal line just half a second before Blanc. Purple Heart threw her controller on the couch and pointed at Blanc. "Hah! Look who got beaten at their own game!"

"Big words for someone who lost with zero stars just a few hours ago! Maybe I should feed your words to you with my fist!"

"Wow, getting violent after losing, as expected of Violence Heart!"

Both Purple Heart and White Heart got hit by a white bolt of energy that zapped across the room. "Both of you are going to calm down this instant!" Nepgear had gone to call Histoire because she was worried what was going to happen.

Neptune and Blanc, forcibly kicked out of goddess mode, felt numb and disorientated. "It's… it's 1-1 now..." Neptune said and then breathed out a cloud of black smoke. "Ouch..." Neptune fell over and laid flat on her back. "Seriously ouch… Histy, what gives?"

Blanc was just lying flat on her back as well, a bit of black smoke rising from her nostrils. Ow… I didn't know Histoire was so strong. Come to think of it, she was the tome of something something. I guess you don't get a fancy title like that if you're weak.

Floating over Neptune, completely ignoring her, Histoire lowered her altitude to look at Blanc more closely. "You are a guest here, Blanc, so please behave like it."

"But she did… you're supposed to really fight for the win in Nep Kart." Neptune defended Blanc's behavior in the hope that it would also excuse her own. "Histy, just because you don't know what fun is-" Neptune rolled over when Histy raised her hand and fired another white bolt. "Stop, stop, I'm already out of goddess mode!"

"Neptune, please be quiet." Histoire was not in the mood to deal with Neptune's antics.

"We got a little carried away. I apologize."

"That is fine. Having fun is also fine. But please avoid a situation where it looks like you are about to start another share war."

"Eh, we wouldn't do that! Histy, you really know nothing about how to play Nep Kart!"

"Maybe I would have time to learn about such games if a certain goddess would be doing her share of work." Histoire tried berating Neptune but the girl was already back to switching games. "I picked, you picked, so next is my pick!"

"That gives you an unfair advantage in a best of three."

"On three, say what you wanna play!"

"Neptune, Blanc, would you listen-"

"One, two, three!" "Nep Calibur!" "Super Nep Smash!"

"Super Nep Smash is so broken!"

"Maybe for an amateur. High level play is very delicate and there is enormous room for mastering a character."

"Eh, but Nep Calibur-"

"Is terribly unbalanced. You just want to play as Purple Heart Tyrant mode because she is super overpowered."

"Damn, busted. Fine. I am super good at playing myself in Super Nep Smash anyway! Histy, what did you wanna say- oh, where's Histy?"

"She floated off mumbling something like I'll give Neptune a stern talking to later, I think."

Neptune shivered. "E-Eh, it'll be fine. Histy will need three days to remember that! Oh, Nepgear, I didn't even see you there behind the couch."

"You two looked really intense back then."

"It was a match with my life on the line!"

"Y-Your life?!"

"She means her pudding stash. She lost horribly at Maryo Party 4 so she challenged me to best of three. She just barely escaped having all of her pudding being taken away. But they will be mine and then I will exchange them for her going with me to Camiket."

Poor Neptune. I don't think she knows just how stressful Camiket can be. Nepgear thought about warning her sister, but even if she knew what she was getting into, there was no way it would increase her motivation any more than fighting for pudding, the only thing more precious than her life.

Neptune jumped on the couch, sat there cross-legged and slapped the cushion next to her. "Sit your pretty butt down and let's get this decided! No crying if you lose and you'll have to buy me a hundred packs of pudding!"

The sound of buttons being mashed and focus so intense that it was palatable filled the air not even ten minutes later. Nepgear accidentally interrupted them and was mercilessly told to get out of the way. Neptune played herself, a well rounded character for beginners and champions alike, while Blanc played as Mina, a character that barely saw use outside the top level competitive scene thanks to her bizarre move set.

After fours hours of One more time!, Neptune finally gave up. "You cheated! You didn't tell me you were a professional at this! I call hax! BS! Umpire, ban! Nerf! Nerf Mina! Way too OP!"

"Stop whining and take your loss like an adult."

"But I'm not! Look, I barely look like a teen!" Neptune stuck out her tongue and smiled wide.

"So you're calling yourself a little girl?" Blanc hit where it hurts and Neptune hung her head in defeat.

"F-Fine. So, you want me to go with you to Camiket in exchange for not taking my pudding?"

"You did much better than I thought you would so I think we can let this betting business rest. If you want to come-"

"Whew, I was really gonna pretend to be sick or something! Now I don't have to go!"

"Hey!"

"It's joke! Just joke!" Neptune faked broken English and grinned again. "I'll come with you, but! You'll have to invite me as your girlfriend!"

"Done."

"Yeah, I didn't think- eh, come again?"

"I said done. If all I have to include is some kissing and other girlfriend-y things, I don't see the big problem."

"Just how dreadful is this Camiket?!" Neptune knew there was no backing out of this now.

"Oh, you have never gone? I have a stand there every winter. I don't go to summer Camiket because it's too hot. There are about a million people there in the winter and maybe double that in the summer. It is the biggest event in all of Gamindustri. I am surprised you never went there."

"No, no, wouldn't it cause a super uproar if goddesses showed up there?!"

"Everyone always thinks I am just cosplaying as Blanc. There are a ton of Purple Heart and Noire cosplayers too."

"C-Cosplay of me?"

"Actually, I have never seen someone cosplay you. Only your goddess form."

"What a downer. I am so the cutest of us four though!"

"Hey."

"Sorry Blanc, but you can't compete with the neppiest of the Nep!"

"If being the cutest means I have to behave like you, I am fine being number two."

"Wow, so like, you really wanna be girlfriends and stuff? I am not into the whole gazing lovingly at each other under a starry sky stuff and… stuff, you know!"

"Neither am I. But being my girlfriend, the universal girlfriend rules dictate that you have to be worse at video games than me."

"Hey, you're my girlfriend too, so that means-"

"Tch."

"Did you just say Tch? Was I about to get cheated? Blanc you cheat! Coward! Demon! Cheating is forbidden! It's 64% as bad as piracy!"

"64%?"

"Statistics!"

"I am having second thoughts over here."

"Too late! You're NepNep property now, Blanc!"

And so, six hours later, when the sun was about to set, Blanc and Neptune were shouting obscenities at each other, ramming shoulders and trying to push each other away from the couch. "Another spiked dogoo? You have got to be cheating, Cheat Heart!"

"Shut the fuck up already, Eggplant Heart!"

"That's going too far!"

"You're purple and black, just like eggplants, and just like eggplants you taste disgusting!"

"I… wait, what? I taste disgusting?" Purple Heart hit paused and looked at White Heart. "Seriously?"

"You didn't brush your teeth at all this morning. Why do you think I haven't kissed you even once since I made you my girlfriend? Are you that dumb?"

"I never even thought about that. I just figured you were not in the mood."

"You better brush your damn teeth. And unpause the damn game already! I am running you into the ground!" Reaching over Purple Heart's arms, Blanc hit the pause button on Neptune's controller. "Hell yeah, lightning on top of spiked dogoo!"

"Hax! I say hax! There's gotta be secret button combinations of the ultimate cheat RNG!" It was quite unusual for Purple Heart to leak out so much Neptune personality, but not sweating the small stuff was a staple of Neptune behavior. "Hah… I can't believe I lost."

Blanc returned to normal. "You don't understand the advantage of staying behind to stock up on the best items and then get ahead while keeping them."

Purple Heart became Neptune and sat back down. "I can't believe it… I'm pooped. Just from gaming! Without any plot-y stuff or anything."

"I am starving. I was under the impression that your sister would bring you food occasionally."

"Yeah, she usually does. Nepgear has maxed out her cooking skills, too, so her cooking is like, legendary level. I wonder where she went?"

"What do you usually do when she isn't there to feed you? I know you can't cook."

"Hey! How would you know that?"

"Because just imagining you in the kitchen is like a vision of the world ending. And comical."

"I can make numerous meals, you know!"

"Instant ramen, sandwiches, frozen pizza, unpacking bento and what else?"

"So mean!"

"Feel free to correct me if I am wrong."

Neptune looked away in silence and then changed the topic. "Should we order some Lowee food? I think there is a delivery place nearby!"

Blanc didn't pursue the topic any further. "Maybe we should just get hand food."

"You eat hands over in Lowee?" Neptune smirked. "Just kidding. I know what you mean. Oh, found a pamphlet, lucky!"

"Grilled reptile tails are actually a costly delicacy in Lowee. There is a famous restaurant called Bowzer's Turning Tail that is always full, year round."

"There you go, making fun of me again!"

"No, I am serious. Mina and I actually take Ram and Rom there once a year. They are grilled to absolute perfection and they are super healthy as well. Dipped in a fresh tomato, spinach or mushroom sauce, served in tiny star shaped cans, they're super tasty. They don't only serve those, though. They also have a very special drink, the Princess Mango. It's a secret recipe that dates back all the way to the founding days of Lowee, I heard."

"Come on, you're still pulling my leg! Grilled reptile tails? That sounds ultra hyper gross!"

"It's a very tasty meat. The texture is a bit like well marinated chicken that was roasted in an oven."

Neptune just looked at Blanc strange for a good fifteen seconds. "Seriously? Roasted lizard tails?"

"Yes. Seriously. It's not any stranger than the hedgehog pie that gets sold during the first two weeks of fall here in Planeptune."

"I asked Histy so many times where the dingus that comes from, but she always says it would take three months to search her library. Maybe I should ask Nepgear to upgrade Histy!"

"Please don't modify your oracle. What if Nepgear messes up? Planeptune would be done for without someone doing all the paperwork."

"Yeah, we'd be busted."

"I won't help you. I am not giving you Mina, either."

"You know, speaking of oracles, why do they all have strange nicknames in Nep Smash?"

"You mean how Mina is called Azure Flame?"

"Yep, that! Histy was called World's Tome or something. Maybe they couldn't spell her name right?"

"I doubt that… I think it's just because the names of our oracles are not very well known, but their nicknames are basically the stuff of legends."

"Legends? Seriously?"

"Well, they're way older than we are."

"Woah, stop, we're losing focus here and it's kinda mixing with this different dimension I shouldn't mention!"

Blanc cringed. "What are you even talking about?"

"Nope, no more talking about that! Food, food time!" Neptune picked out something from the pamphlet. "I guess it's just gonna be pizza."

"I'll get a Mushrooma Ma Mia." Blanc didn't even need to look. It was the most widely spread favorite of Lowee people as far as pizza was concerned.

Thirty minutes later, Neptune paid the delivery girl. Carrying the pizza cases to the couch, where Blanc was just scrolling through the list of battle trophies of Nep Ocean 3. "This is Nepgear's save file, isn't it?"

"Probably? I don't remember playing Nep Ocean 3 yet. Here you go." Neptune was a bit more relaxed now, just hanging out with Blanc, her fellow goddess and kinda girlfriend. She didn't really behave any different than normal, which worked out just fine for her. "I don't get how you Lowee people can eat a pizza that's a third mushrooms."

"Mushrooms are a staple of Lowee culture, not just Lowee food."

"Well, duh, you even got buildings shaped like it and stuff!"

"I can't believe you actually outlawed eggplant cultivation and imports."

"Hey. They're a dangerous and volatile substance!"

"I don't like them either, but stopping everyone that does like them from eating them just because they live in your country? A bit harsh."

Neptune spoke with her mouth so full that the words that came out didn't mean anything. Blanc didn't even bother to say anything and started eating her own pizza. Neither of them really bothered with table manners, eating right out of the box, with their hands, completely ignoring expectations that were pushed on them to eat slowly and in a cutesy manner. "Planeptune is a better place now. Eggplants are evil. Like that old hag eggplant."

"What are we gonna do after we eat?"

Neptune hit a button on the remote and a small digital clock appeared in the upper left corner. "Anime. There's a show coming on in 10 minutes that I like."

"I'm not really a big anime fan."

"Shark, shark. I mean, same. But I really like this Dragon Nep Super. After Nep Z, they finally went back to a funnier format."

"I remember watching Nep Z a few years ago. Five minutes became four hours."

"I wish I could turn five minutes into four hours! I could play all the games that come out! Forever!"

Neptune switched the channel from console input to TV Arashi where the second half of a different anime was running. Blanc put her box on the couch and leaned against Neptune, eating like that. "Being able to do this without having to explain myself is more comfortable than I thought."

"I know, right? I mean, I did it all the time anyway so nothing's changed for me, but I guess I try all that stuff I see in romance manga now!"

Watching TV without really paying attention, Blanc was learning why Neptune liked slacking off so much. This is really… relaxing. Just lounging on this couch, eating pizza together and about to watch some anime.

"Wanna do some girlfriend-y stuff after anime?" Neptune glanced diagonally down at Blanc.

"After we're full with pizza? That sounds like a bad idea."

"Wow, I didn't mean, like, lewd stuff! You know our rating will soar up if we do that!"

"With what we're wearing as goddesses I am surprised we get away with a rating- what are you making me say, again?"

"Aw come on, everyone knows it's fine if we meta it up a little!"

"Meta Heart."

"Makes me sound like some kind of epic RPG boss."

"That's gonna be the next game. You as the big boss and I have to defeat you to make you return to normal. Along the way I collect comrades, the cat ear warrior Noire, the exiled exhibitionist dancer Vert, the underground city mechanic Nepgear, the girl with the goal to create a harem, Uni, the mystical twins-"

"Wow, no firing up the old light novel engine when we're relaxing."

"If you can say meta stuff, I can think about my next novel."

"How many did you even finish? Every time you talk about them, it's something different. Sounds like a tower sized pile of abandonment to me! Poor puppies!"

"They're not puppies and I don't abandon them. They're just… postponed. And I finished some already."

"Is that what you sell at Camiket?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever sold any of them?"

Hey..."

"Come on Blanc, I know you're like, writing super strange stuff! Like, I dunno, magical girls stuck in some interdimensional space, having to battle each other to re-create the balance between light and dark. And they're all gay for some bizarre reason. And even more bizarre, they're all adults, instead of teenagers. And one of them suffers way too much compared to everyone else!"

"That was awfully specific."

"Coincidence, I swear! Total coincidence!"

"Oh, it's on." Blanc watched for a few seconds, still eating pizza, before she commented. "I liked the Chala Nep Chala opening song better."

"Hm, I guess that one was more iconic. You Loweenians like that stuff. You have like a gorillion arrangements of your game themes, too."

"Can you remember even a single memorable song from Leanbox?"

"Nope. I guess as far as music goes, Lowee and Lastation are really running away with it. We're more focused on gameplay stuff."

"I don't recognize any of these characters. Who is the purple dog?"

Neptune didn't really mind talking over the episode and explained a few essentials to Blanc as they went. And then the commercial break came. "Neptune."

"Hm?"

"I could come over every week and we could spend the day together, watch this show and I could go back in the morning."

"Oh, sounds like a plan. What about it?"

"I'm asking you if you want me to do that."

"Sure. Totes. I mean, you're my very own personal girlfriend now, right? So that much is a given."

"I'm not sure you're treating this with the seriousness it deserves."

"Eh, it doesn't need to be all serious beans. We can just do stuff together like this. And whatever I find in my manga!"

"I have a really bad feeling about this manga part..."

"Aw, come on, I'm just kidding. Or… am I?" Neptune smirked and stole a slice of mushroom pizza. "Is this really edible?"

"Hey."

"Just lemme have a slice."

"Trade me."

"You sure? I have a double cheese, triple pepperoni chilly hellfire pizza."

"Is this your attempt to go for gap moe?"

"N-Nepu… I can't believe I got out-meta'd by Blanc."

The anime came back on and they continued watching for a minute. After that minute, Blanc jumped off the couch and ran towards the kitchen, feeling like she would need to drown herself in a lake. "Blanc, you okay?" Neptune shouted from the couch, still lying there and eating. "Mushrooms aren't so bad. It's a bit much on this slice though."

Blanc returned another minute later and almost fell onto the couch. "How can you eat something like this when you're such a pudding termination machine?"

"Pudding is pudding, pizza is pizza!"

Blanc patted her lap twice and Neptune followed up on the offer almost immediately, lying sideways and resting her head on Blanc's lap, the Lowee goddess immediately starting to move her hand through the pink hair. "I always thought relationships were supposed to be dramatic. But I might actually prefer this."

"Yeah, gotta leave drama 'n stuff for manga and anime. Blanc, are you flexible?"

"I can bend down to kiss you, if you want me to."

"Aw, come on, don't read my mind!"

Instead of waiting for Blanc to bend down Neptune put her arms around Blanc's neck and used that to pull herself up far enough to pass a quick kiss onto Blanc's lips before returning to her previous position. "I guess I still stink?" Neptune was a little confused by Blanc's lack of reaction.

"My lips can't feel anything because of your spicy pizza." Blanc bend down and kissed Neptune a lot more strongly than moments ago. "And you smell like pepperoni."

"You taste like funny. You know, like funny mush-" One forehead flick was enough to shut her up. "Ow, hey! No domestic violence!"

"You know you deserved that."

The anime ended and Neptune was too lazy to get up or do anything. "Let's just check what's on after this? And play some Nepstar Online together after?"

"I can keep you company while you play, but I want to finish my book. We can stay like this for another episode. Of whatever is coming on."

"Neptune grabbed the half eaten slice of pizza that Blanc had left. "W-What do I do? Eating this would be… an indirect kiss..."

"I need to rethink my life choices." Blanc thought out loud, causing Neptune to laugh.

=== Play Session End ===