Notes: This is sort of an interlude in the "One Night" series, set before "One Night in Ba Sing Se". Like…Zuko, honey….you maaaaaay have ulterior motives to your advice here, buddy, my guy, pal…you maaaaaay like Suki…maaaaaybe…. Guess you'll find out when she gets off of that boat...
Shadows danced around the room, as rain hissed against the glass and a fire crackled and popped in the fireplace. The two men seated in silk brocaded chairs before the fire were silent, brooding, glasses of amber-colored alcohol in their hands.
Sokka looked haggard, his hair slowly drying from his journey, mud on his boots and a scrum of beard on his chin. He looked weighed down, and miserable. Zuko studied his friend for a long time, waiting for him to say something, to explain why he had shown up to the Fire Nation palace out of the blue on such a wet and dreary night, but Sokka hadn't said much since the servants had lead him into the Fire Lord's suite.
Zuko was just about to ask him what was wrong, when Sokka took a sip from his glass and then said in a croaking voice, "Suki broke up with me."
Zuko's brows shot up. "She did?"
"Yeah," Sokka sighed. "She said it was for good this time. And I think she meant it."
Zuko clenched his teeth together, biting back a few choice words. Though he knew the answer, he eventually settled on, "Why did she break up with you?"
"Because I wouldn't marry her. She said she was tired of waiting for me to change my mind about marriage and that she wanted kids. And I wouldn't give them to her, so it was best if we just ended it now before we both regret things."
"And was she right?"
"About?"
"You not wanting to marry her."
"…Yeah, but… That didn't mean I wanted to break up," Sokka started, and then rubbed his hand down his stubbled face. "She said "one of us has to be the realist here, and I can't keep dating someone who keeps putting me at arm's length.' That's a direct quote. And she was crying."
"That's…rough, buddy," Zuko said. Sokka lifted his head and glared at him, a completely unamused expression on his face.
"That's all the advice you have?"
"I didn't know you wanted advice. It's pretty clear you ran here to wallow."
"I can wallow and get advice."
"Where is she now?"
"She packed her things and left Republic City. Went back to Kyoshi Island. She said she needed space. What do you think I should do?"
"You really want my opinion?" Zuko mused as he swirled the alcohol around in his glass.
Sokka let a short sigh, more frustrated than annoyed, leaning forward, his head hanging. "Yeah, man."
"You sure?" Zuko asked, taking a measured sip. Sokka nodded.
"Yes."
Zuko swallowed and then set his glass on the table with a soft clink. Then he took a breath, turning his dignified gaze on Sokka for one long moment. Then he shrugged. "I think you're a fucking idiot."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me," Zuko said softly. "You had…one of the kindest, most competent, loyal, intelligent, funny, beautiful women in the world…and you lost her. Sokka, you lost her, because you didn't appreciate what you had in her. You took her for granted. You neglected her. You broke her heart I don't know how many times, and still she came back… And you still didn't realize what you had."
Sokka stared at Zuko in shock. There was anger in the Fire Lord's voice. Anger and frustration, and more than a little disgust. "I realized…"
Zuko cut him off. "No, you didn't. If you did, you would have married Suki years ago. You certainly would have married her the minute she uprooted her life and moved to Republic City to be with you. But you didn't. She left me…I mean, her post…just to be with you. She thought the distance was killing your relationship, that she could fix what was wrong by moving to be with you, but that wasn't it. The distance wasn't the problem. It was your doing. You had her, and you lost her because you never appreciated her. And frankly, I don't think you ever deserved her."
Sokka's jaw clenched as he and Zuko glared at one another. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes, I do. And you know it," Zuko said, moving to the edge of his chair, his mouth a tight line. "Why won't you marry her?"
"I just…" he started, his throat closing. "I don't… I'm… I'm not ready. You know? That's a big step! She kept pressuring me and I just… I didn't think I could do it!"
"Why not? Don't you love her?"
"Of course!"
"Then what's the problem? Why on earth would anyone not want to marry an incredible woman like Suki?" Zuko insisted. "I've never once understood your reluctance."
Sokka's eyes narrowed. "You sound like you'd like to marry her yourself."
"If I could find a woman like Suki who loved me the way Suki loves you, you can be damned sure I wouldn't lose her through my own stupidity."
"You lost Mai," Sokka snapped at him. Zuko's face clouded.
"Mai and I went our separate ways because we both wanted different things, and we were mature enough to realize that. Now look at her, she's married, and has two children and she's happy. And I'm happy for her," Zuko said gently. "You need to do the same for Suki."
"Just let her go?"
"Look," Zuko said, holding up his hand. "You're my friend, Sokka and you always will be. I'd have your back in just about every fight but this one. I got to know Suki very well when she was my bodyguard. She wasn't just that to me–she was one of my closest advisors and a very close friend. She has put her life on the line to protect me more than once, and I owe her for that in ways you can't imagine. So what I'm telling you right now is for her protection. She loves you, Sokka, but she broke up with you because she knows she's never going to stop wanting more than what you're willing to give her. And you're never going to change. And you know you're never going to change too."
"I–"
"If you really, truly, deep down in your heart wanted her back, you'd march your ass to Kyoshi Island and beg on your knees, but you're not. You're here drinking my booze and trying to make me feel sorry for you. Which I don't," Zuko said and then finished off his drink. "So my advice? Let her go. Let her move on. It's for her own good. She's heartbroken right now, but if you give her time and space, she'll heal. She'll move on. She'll find someone else who wants the same things she wants. But she also loves you, which is the great tragedy of her life. Even though she knows exactly how things will end up again, she'll take you back if you go to her now. She'll end up regretting it. You'll regret it. And we'll end up right back here again. So you have to ask yourself, what is the best thing for the both of you?"
Sokka sat back in his chair, his fist against his temple. "I still love her."
"Enough to marry her?"
"Why do we have to get married though?" Sokka exploded. "Why is that the end-all be-all of relationships? Why does that matter?"
"Because it matters to her. You have the right to hate her pressuring you into marriage, and she has a right to hate that you won't marry her. She wants that, Sokka. She wants it badly enough to break up with you over it, so clearly it's important to her. And it's clearly important to you if you let that come between you. Neither of you should compromise on something like that. Marriage is something you have to be on the same page about, or someone ends up hurt."
The room went quiet as Sokka stared into the fire, Zuko's words echoing in his ears. After several minutes, he sighed and glanced up at Zuko. "I should let her go."
"I think you already have. If you love her, you'll give her a chance to find her happiness with someone who will love her completely. If you can't give her that, for whatever reason, just…let her move on. It may seem wrong, it may hurt…but she's never going to be happy living a life she doesn't want. You can't expect her to give up her dreams, and she can't expect you to give up yours. She's smart enough to know that. That's why she ended it."
"She wants kids."
"And you don't?"
"Not right now, no. Maybe someday. I like kids…but I'm not ready and I know that. Do you want kids?"
"Absolutely," Zuko said with a smile. "I want a whole litter."
"Just to get your council off of your back about heirs."
Zuko shrugged. "Well, that wouldn't suck, but I want children for a lot of reasons."
"I think you need a woman first."
"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Zuko said with a wry twist to his mouth. Then he went quiet for a long moment and glanced at Sokka. "There's another woman, isn't there?"
"Excuse me?" Sokka said, glancing at him in shock.
"You have feelings for another woman, don't you? That's why you're not fighting for Suki."
He looked like he was going to argue for a moment, but then his mouth closed and he paled a little. He glanced guiltily out the window and then back at Zuko. "Maybe."
"Did you—?"
"No, I didn't cheat. I've never cheated on her," Sokka said firmly. "But I might have feelings for someone else. It's complicated. It may be nothing. I don't know. It's confusing and complicated."
"Who is she?"
Sokka sighed and slumped in his chair. "She's… She's someone I shouldn't be into, that's who. I'm not ready to talk about it. I've got enough worries right now."
"If you have feelings for this woman, you should act on them. Maybe that would make things with Suki a lot clearer."
"Maybe."
"You want another drink?"
Sokka placed his empty glass on the table and then stood. "Nah, man. I think I need some sleep. Thanks for… Well, thanks for telling me the truth."
Zuko shrugged again. "My pleasure."
"Later."
"Night."
Zuko watched him slink out of the room. When the door closed behind Sokka, Zuko turned back to the fire and thought of Suki for a long moment, imagining the hope in her eyes the last time he had seen her, right before she'd gotten on the boat to Republic City. He had been so sad to see her go, but the hope in her eyes had made him happy for her. He had hoped that good things would happen to her, that she would finally grasp the happily ever after she had been striving for.
He felt regret, thinking of the pain she must be in right now, but he was also proud of her for being strong enough to do what was best for herself, despite how much it would hurt her. There was nothing he didn't admire about her.
Suki would find her happiness one day, of that he had no doubt. What man wouldn't want someone like Suki, after all?
If I ever marry, it'll be to someone like her… Zuko thought and stared out the window into the rain. And I won't settle for anything less.
(end)