It was a bright, sunny day in Beach City. It was warm, not hot; a chill still hung in the breeze, left over from the recent winter.

All in all, Barbara Miller thought, it was a perfect day to be out delivering mail.

She was going an extra round today, having taken up Jamie's after he called in sick. There were so many interesting people that boy delivered mail to – not that her usual houses weren't, but a little variety never hurt – and she couldn't wait to swap a few stories with them.

Especially Steven. Cycling up to the beach, Barbara swung her mail bag over her shoulder and started towards the Temple. It was a real pretty place, that. Gave her a sense of mystery, adventure. What a lucky boy, to live there!

Then she got closer, and something strange caught her eye. The windows were boarded up, the door swung slightly open. The inside looked dark and empty.

Did Steven move out? With a frown, Barbara fished out her phone and dialed a number. It rang once, twice, then picked up.

"Mom?"

"Hey, Sadie!" Barbara said in her usual booming tone. "How's my big girl doing?"

"I'm at work, Mom."

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Say, your friend Steven, did he move out?"

"No, I saw him a few days ago." Sadie continued in a concerned tone. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"I'm just looking up at his house now – I told you I took Jamie's rounds today, right? The poor boy came down with a stomach bug or something. Real sick, says he's puking all over the place and-"

"Mom."

"Oh, sorry. Anyway, Steven's windows are all boarded up, and the place looks real abandoned." She frowned. "Are you sure he didn't take a vacation, or something?"

"He didn't say anything about about going anywhere! We should, we gotta, uh… hold on, I've got his number. I'll give him a call."

"That's a great idea, Sadie! And I'll go investigate."

"Wait, Mom. Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Barbara was walking up the steps. "I don't see anything wrong with it."

"Well, I don't really know the details, but Steven and the Gems go off fighting some weird magical monsters sometimes. If he's gone… I don't know. Just be careful, okay Mom?"

"Aah, no need to worry about your mother, Sadie!" Barbara swung the door open. "I'll be- aaaghh!"

"Hey, Peridot, do you hear that?" Lapis was sitting on Steven's bed with a magazine, her companion tinkering with a toaster on the stairs. The green Gem looked up from her work, and listened for a moment.

"I do, actually." She paused again. "It sounds like a voice."

"A really loud voice." Lapis turned a page. "Probably a human. I hope she goes away soon."

Peridot nodded emphatically. "Why do they keep coming over here, anyway? We're so far removed from the town, and as far as I can tell this building is not a 'shop' or a 'school'. It serves no functional purpose to come here, except… hmm." She stroked her chin. "Maybe they're friends with Steven? Earthlings do a lot of things without functional purpose for the sake of friendship."

There was the voice again, somehow even louder. Lapis frowned. "She's not going away. Should we tell her Steven's not here?"

"No need. My traps will deal with her."

"That's good." Lapis tried to drone out the noise of the annoying human, but the sound was awfully close. She could hear footsteps going up the stairs, stomping on wood…

The door opened, disturbing the large water bucket balancing on the top. The human's loud talking was abruptly brought to a halt as it came down on her head. "Aaaaghh!"

Lapis looked down to see the human lying still on the ground, bucket over her head. With a little concern leaking into her tone, she asked, "Hey, Peridot? Are these traps designed for humans?"

"Yes." She answered immediately. There was a pause as the two stared down at the human. "Well, probably. The internet wouldn't lie to me!" Another pause. "Let's just… see if she's okay."

The two hurried downstairs. Lapis lifted the groaning human up – she groaned, she's not dead! – whilst Peridot took the bucket off of her head, sucking in her breath at the sight of her face.

"I think I have located my mistake." The green Gem put down the bucket and closed the door. "I may have used an excessively heavy container for the water."

Okay, but what do we do now? She's out cold."

"Nyuh, I don't know!"

Lapis shifted the human's weight, wrapping her arms under the armpits. "Well, we can't just leave her here!"

"Why not?"

"She could be seriously hurt! Also if any of those other humans come round they'll think we're-"

Sadie kicked the door down, coming face to face with two unfamiliar Gems holding her unconscious, bleeding mother.

"-dangerous."