This story is dedicated to an incredible human being, RoyalFlushGang! We have shared our crazy, mutual love for the Joker and I think it was about time I wrote you a one shot! Enjoy!

"I don't think I can do this." Harley said, biting into her bottom lip inbetween her teeth. She tiptoed over the cold, beige tiled surface, occasionally catching her toes on the wet puddles that littered themselves across the ground.

Harley wrapped her arms around her almost bare body, her golden and black sequined bikini being her only cover. She shivered in fear when she lay her eyes on the cool blue liquid object of her nightmares that had been haunting her over the past few months. Since being rescued by the Joker from Belle Reve, he had been insistent that she take swimming lessons. Harley agreed half heartedly at his suggestion in the hope that he would forget. But here she stood, glancing down at the rippled water that danced with the reflection of the overhead chandelier.

The tiled base of the pool was a stark white colour with all the playing card suits printed on top. But even this masterpiece wasn't enough to invite her in.

"You're such a baby." A deep voice echoed across the room. Harley snapped her head round to the source of the noise. The Joker strode in from the marble archway with a purple towel slung over his shoulder. His extraordinarily pale body was on display in all the right ways. J's dark, prominent tattoos being the perfect print for his muscular white canvas. He donned only a pair of black metallic coloured swimming shorts with golden scribbles of the word 'Ha-ha' etched down the side seams.

Harley had fought and protested against wearing swimwear, due to the activity they were meant for. The Joker had suggested that they take lessons naked, but received a harsh look in return, instead he opted for a matching swim set to persuade her.

Success so far he thought, eyeing her curvy figure barely concealed by the black and gold sequins.

"I'm not a baby!" Harley shouted across the pool. "I told you, I don't wanna do this!"

"Since when did your opinion matter?" J retorted, throwing his towel over the chaise lounge that lined the side of the indoor swimming pool.

Harley folded her arms and pouted in protest. "I don't like getting wet." She murmured.

"Yes you do." He quipped back with a wink. Harley giggled and looked over at him, his muscles strained deliciously against his skin, moving with every action he took.

"Look," He sighed. "If you want to be sitting at the bottom of a river the next time we have to make a spontaneous midnight dip, then be my guest." Joker shrugged. "Telling me that you couldn't swim whilst we were about to plunge into the water, wasn't exactly the right time to bring up the subject was it? You daft cow."

"No," Harley whispered, preparing herself for another lecture about the incident.

"If you don't at least try, I swear next time I'll drown you myself. Understood?" Joker snarled, pointing his finger at her.

"Yes sir." She nodded, clutching her own body tightly.

"Besides," J said, moving around the pool towards her. "It could be fun."

Joker suddenly rushed towards her and grabbed her waist. Harley squealed as he began to tickle her. "You want to have fun, don't you Harley?" He murmured hotly against the shell of her ear.

"Mmm, yes Puddin'." Harley breathed, feeling his arms wrap around her waist tightly. Now with her back towards the swimming pool, Harley slid her hands up past his shoulders and around his neck, teasing the ends of his green hair inbetween her fingers.

"Please don't make me do it Puddin'... We could just stay in the shallow end and mess about.." Harley whispered with lust filled eyes.

Joker raised a brow at her suggestion. He let his eyes drift for a moment past her shoulders and down towards the pool. He smirked when he noticed that they were both standing by the deep end.

"Naughty." He purred, leaning down to kiss her. Whilst he had captured her undivided attention, Joker began taking tiny steps forwards, making Harley move backwards. Once he could see the heels of her feet teetering on the edge, he stopped.

"What, what's wrong?" Harley asked, noticing his distracted eyes.

Joker looked down at her with a broad smile stretched across his face. "I didn't want to do this Harl, but you've left me with no choice." His hands grabbed her hips harshly and before the words even met Harley's ears, she was being pushed backwards.

Suddenly Harley was engulfed by water, her back smacked against the calm looking surface with a painful slap. Her eyes were wide with fear as she felt the water sting against the corners of her eyes and wrap itself around her ankles.

Harley felt trapped, like she was being dragged down into an endless abyss. She tried to hold her breath but soon enough, air bubbles were erupting from her throat. Harley saw a distorted image of the Joker leaning over the edge of the pool, trying to look in to find her. Once she saw him, her body kicked into autopilot. Her hands reached up through the dense liquid barrier to try and reach him.

Before her fingertips could break the surface, a muffled splash invaded her water filled ears. A pair of strong arms broke the waters hold on her body and lifted her up. As soon as Harley's face emerged from the water she gasped, inhaling as much oxygen as she could.

The Joker appeared in front of her. While his right hand was still firmly attached her waist, he smoothed back his wet green hair with his left, trying to stifle a giggle when he saw that Harley's eyes were bloodshot, and that her own locks were stuck to her face tightly, making her prominently angry blue eyes even more visible.

"You – You bastard!" She cried, weakly beating his chest with her fists, making the water splash around them.

J threw his head back and laughed at the wound up little blonde attacking him.

"I hate you!" Harley yelled, pinching her eyes closed to ease the burn.

"Oh baby... and I thought my feelings were only one sided." J teased. His smile was soon wiped of his face when a hard, wet slap was administered to his cheek. He glared down at Harley's furious face.

"This isn't funny! You coulda' killed me! I might of drowned!" She yelled. Harley suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head against his shoulder, trying to catch her stolen breath.

"Lesson learnt then isn't it Harley, anyone can push you in. Next time it might not be me, next time you might not come back up." He threatened, running a finger down her spine. "You need to learn how to swim."

Harley nodded into his neck. "Just promise not to do that again." She muttered, brushing her wet lips against this equally wet skin.

"Mmmm... I suppose there are other ways for me to have fun." He smirked, teasing the back tie of her bikini top.

...

Harley stood at the shallow end of the pool, the water barely tickling her waist line as she gazed at the Joker who was now at the opposite end to her, treading water.

"Just do it like I taught you!" He yelled.

Harley bit her lip and fumbled with her fingers. "I can't do the whole length Pud."

"Yes you can!" Joker shouted back with an encouraging smile. "Just focus on me."

Harley nodded and crouched down, letting the shallow water engulf her shoulders. She thought back to the method that the Joker had taught her. He had her laying on her front as he gently walked along with her, holding her above water by his hands as she glided against the water.

"C'mon baby." He whispered, locking onto her fearful eyes.

Harley nodded and looked down at the water rippling over her skin, she took a deep breath and pushed off against the printed tiles. She extended her arms and legs out completely and swiftly began to move her right arm down past her thighs, brushing it with her pruned fingertips. After being scolded multiple times, Harley remembered to kick her legs beneath the waters surface, making her propel across the pool faster. Her body twisted under the water to the side, allowing her to glide through her side stroke. Her legs kicked in rhythm with her arms movements, remembering to take breaths every time her head rose up to move again.

Harley's muscles ached from the practice, but she fought through the pain. J being her prize for reaching the other end was her only motivation now.

"That's it!" Joker beamed, watching her head dip in and out of the water while she swiftly moved across the surface. "Good girl."

When Harley was only a few strokes away from him, J extended one arm out while the other continued to keep him afloat. He grabbed onto her left wrist as it came circulating round again. Joker pulled her forward, earning a water filled gasp from her lips.

Harley squealed when her balance got knocked off. But before she slipped under, Joker hauled her over to him, causing her to crash into his chest.

"Keep this up and you can be my very own little mermaid." He grinned, looking down at her. Harley giggled under his praise and pulled her arms up around his shoulders, holding on tightly.

"I can't believe I did it!" Harley squeaked, looking over her shoulder at the distance she'd just achieved.

"I told you.. That's why you should always listen to Daddy, he knows best." Joker nodded. He leant back slightly and grabbed the edge of the pool when he noticed that Harley's weight attached to his was slowly making them sink.

"Thank you Daddy." Harley smiled, placing a wet kiss on his cheek. She kissed him again, but slightly lower, and then once more, capturing his soft cold lips with her own. Joker groaned into her mouth, slipping his tongue inbetween her teeth to tease her.

Harley shivered. Feeling his wet skin against her own made the kiss all that more passionate. He had a way of making fireworks burst inside her, even from just a simple touch. "Puddin'." She moaned, grabbing at his skin to pull herself closer.

"Wrap your legs around me." Joker purred, patting her ass lightly as a hint. Using his broad shoulders as leverage, Harley jumped up and wrapped her toned legs around his waist.

"Ready for your second lesson?" Joker asked.

Harley raised a brow playfully. "What's that?"

"Oxygen preservation." He smirked. Suddenly J pushed up against the ledge and forced them both under the water. A flash of panic filled Harley's eyes as she tried to blink through the air bubbles that were rising from both their bodies.

Joker smiled widely, letting the water seep through the gaps of his grill. His hair floated like a fresh meadow, while pink and blue stands threatened to invade his space. Both Harley and the Joker's faces were now surrounded by hair, dancing in the ripples of movement that their bodies created.

Harley still had her legs wrapped around the Joker, holding on to dear life.

J smirked at her fear. He could feel her heart beating with adrenaline up against his own, her veins were full of it... Excitement and fear all rolled into one... How magnificent.

Joker's hand wandered up to her hair, feeling the weightless strands tickle his knuckles. In amongst it all he found the back of her head and he grasped her roots painfully, making her eyes snap up and focus on him, instead of the water that was threatening to fill her lungs. Joker pushed her head forward and crashed his lips onto hers.

After a few moments, Harley reacted to his hot tongue, opening up her mouth for him to enter, she felt his whole mouth latch onto hers like her own personal oxygen mask. But she could feel him running out of breath whilst he was giving her the hottest kiss she'd ever had.

Joker set his feet firmly on the tiles. Still with his eyes closed, he tried to make Harley forget about the deep, all consuming abyss.

J pushed off from the tiles when he felt his air running out. Still holding her, they both rose up to the surface.

Once they broke through, Joker had admittedly expected another slap or even an aggressive glare from the girl squeezing the life out of him in an iron grip. But instead she pulled away for a moment, admiring the way his hair looked effortlessly flawless after just being underwater. Harley bit her lip and looked down to his mouth, feeling droplets of water pebble down her face.

She pulled him in by the grip on his neck and immediately began to devour his mouth. J ran his fingers down her back, feeling the contours of her athletic figure react to his every touch.

"Oh." Harley moaned, feeling him begin to fumble with the tie of her bikini top. He pinched one end of the prefect bow and pulled gently, allowing the thin material to fall away from her body. He pressed her harder against his chest, making him growl deeply.

Joker moved from her mouth and began to suckle on her neck, leaving bright red teeth marks in his wake. Harley lolled her head to the side, falling victim to his mouth once more.

"Joker.." Harley groaned, feeling her back press up against the cold edge of the pool. J's hands began to wander lower past her waist, cupping her ass and giving it a squeeze as he began to grind his own arousal against her. He was pleased to discover that Harley's bikini bottoms were also secured by two flimsy looking ties. Joker took them between his fingers and pulled them apart.

Harley arched her back, allowing him to peel the material away form her. She frowned in the knowledge that he was still wearing his swimming shorts. Harley couldn't help but moan when she felt the elastic waistband teasingly rub against her inner thigh.

"Ah!" She cried, feeling his teeth bite away at her collar bone. Whilst he was busy creating a path of bruises on her wet, pale skin; Harley dipped her hand under the water and began to tug at his shorts. She gasped when she felt his hardness poke inbetween her legs.

"Such a good girl." Joker purred. Now nipping at her earlobe and dragging the skin away from her.

Harley pushed his shorts down as far as she could in the position she was in. J chuckled and stepped out of his black shorts, pushing her further against the tiles in the process.

"Please Daddy." She whispered seductively, feeling how hard he was against her skin.

J shifted her slightly around his hips, making it easier for him to give her what she desired so desperately.

Harley locked him in place with her legs, giving a heavy sigh as she felt one of his hands adjust himself below the water. "Beg for me." J murmured against her cheek.

Harley dropped her head onto his shoulder and moaned in anticipation. "Please Daddy. Oh, please."

"Do you deserve it?" He asked, grinding painfully into her.

Harley nodded in response, clamping her teeth gently onto his shoulder. "I do, please Daddy."

Joker's hands latched onto her thighs, leaving pink indents of his nails onto her skin. Within moments, he pushed forward and filled her completely with his lust.

Harley cried out with an open mouth against his skin. She arched into his body, so that they were flush against each other. Harley grabbed the nape of his neck and clawed at his damp hair.

Joker hooked his arms underneath her, lifting her up and down. He growled with every twitch she gave him. Her moans were deep, full of love in the purest form.

J pressed his open mouth against her face and grunted loudly, matching her moans. Usually during their throes of passion the Joker would whisper tantalisingly dirty things into her ear, he would pin her down or even tie her just so she understood who was in control. But not this time, no, this time Harley moved on her own with J's encouragement. And the only sound that could be heard was their deep sighs and the sound of water cascading over their intertwined bodies.

"I can't-" Harley cried, clawing at every part of his skin exposed to her. "J!"

"Shhh.." He muttered. Joker increased his pace, pulling her down harder onto him.

"I'm so close..."

"I know." He purred. One more thrust and Harley was done for, she threw her head back in ecstasy, chanting his name like a forbidden prayer.

Joker sped up when he felt Harley's body grow limp into his arms. His pace was relentless, quickly finding his own release. J growled and pinched his eyes shut, feeling himself give in to her completely.

"Such a good, good girl." He moaned, resting his forehead against her chest. Harley tired to speak, but her breath had been stolen from her lungs, all symptoms of her body still coming down from the high that only the Joker could bring her to.

J reached up suddenly and tilted her chin to the side so that she faced him. He brushed stray damp hairs off her skin and back behind her ear.

"I told you we'd have fun." He giggled right before he kissed her, feeling her soul melt into his again.

"Got anything else you want to teach me Daddy?" Harley asked, winking lazily.

"Now that you mention it..."

The End.