Bernie literally had no idea where to start. She had spent the last 6 months battling for this women but now she had the opportunity to actually speak to her in person Bernie was lost. The last time she had seen Alex her whole world was completely different and felt like it had just completely shattered as Alex walked away.

"Bernie," Alex said with a hint of surprise in her voice. It was clear the younger medic was not expecting to see Bernie and wasn't quite sure how to react.

"Hello you," Bernie replied with a polite smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was invited,"

Bernie was struck how beautiful the women in front of her still was. But something wasn't quite right. She looked drained, exhausted, like she hadn't had a good night's sleep in a long time, something Bernie knew was unusual for Alex.

They both milled around the army event, half keeping an eye on where the other one was and who they were talking to. Eventually Bernie made a move.

Alex's phone beeped in her bag. She excused herself and got it out to look at the message.

"Can we talk? Bx"

Alex scanned the room looking for Bernie but couldn't instantly spot her. She returned to her conversation so as not to appear rude but made a mental note to go and look for her as soon as she could escape.

Bernie sat in the cool evening air staring up at the sky. There were virtually no stars visible even on this, a clear night in Holby. The light pollution from the street lights ruined the view. Bernie smiled as she instantly was drawn back to many an evening sat in the compound in Kabul staring up at the sky. She knew the stars were up there and how amazing they were when they got the chance to shine and that was enough.

"I should have known I'd find you out here staring at the sky," Alex's voice suddenly appeared behind Bernie in the night air. "But the stars are so much better in Kabul."

"Funnily enough I was just thinking the same," Bernie said as Alex sat down beside her.

"The stars might not be out here but I still like the view," Alex replied looking across at the blonde women beside her as she sat down. Bernie instantly smiled remembering Alex using the same words the night they shared their first kiss.

"Oh Alex," Bernie sighed wishing she could turn back time.

Alex smiled knowing Bernie had got her reference to 'that' evening in the compound and for the first time since she had come back from Afghanistan she felt safe.

Bernie slid her hand down between them and slowly entwined her fingers with Alex's. She wasn't quite sure what reaction she would get. She was hoping Alex wouldn't pull away, that she hadn't moved on, but Bernie knew that that was a risk. She had hurt Alex in unforgivable ways and therefore had no claim over her or right to think she was waiting for her to be ready. But a woman can hope right?

Alex felt the warmth of another hand sliding into her own, their fingers interlocking automatically, and she was instantly reminded of all the feelings she had for Bernie, which she was desperately trying to suppress. But it was a hopeless cause. Alex had fallen in love with Bernie a long time ago and just pretending that she could switch all those feelings off was a joke. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes just absorbing the feeling of Bernie's hand in her own. The softness of her skin, the gentleness of her touch, the sensation Bernie's thumb created as it ran itself across the top of her palm.

"I'm so sorry," Bernie whispered as they sat there together.

Alex opened her eyes and looked over at Bernie again. Despite her head screaming at her that this woman had hurt her, that she needed to protect her heart, that she couldn't cope with being messed about or heartbroken again, Alex could see something genuine in Bernie eyes. The fear, confusion and hurt she saw in those eyes the last time she looked into them appeared to have gone. But instead there was sincerity and honesty staring back at her.

"We need to talk," Alex admitted "But right now all I want to do is this…."

She leaned across and placed her own lips on Bernie's and suddenly her entire world made sense again. In the following few minutes it felt like the whole world around them disappeared. It was just the two of them, nothing and no one else mattered, and much to Alex's surprised Bernie wasn't even concerned who might be watching. As they broke apart Bernie rested her forehead against Alex's and said quietly,

"Shall we get out of here?"

"Yes please," Alex instantly agreed.

"Are you staying somewhere?" Bernie asked realising she had no idea where Alex was based any more.

"No, I live locally, shall we go back to mine?" Alex revealed.

Bernie just nodded, standing up with the younger woman their hands still interlinked. They had no interest into going back into the gathering they had been invited to, so instead found a side gate to the outside space they were in and escaped.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" Alex asked as they entered her small flat.

"Would you think me old and boring if I said I'd love a cup of tea?"

Alex smiled remembering Bernie's love of a good cup of tea, "Never" she replied, flicking the kettle on.

As they sat down on Alex's sofa with a mug of tea each Bernie could see the doubt creeping back into Alex's face.

"You're scared aren't you? You've let your heart rule your head, you've let the feelings back in and yet you don't know whether anything has changed since last time you saw me," Bernie observed. Alex had forgotten that despite being a tough Army Major that Bernie could read her and how she was feeling even when she wasn't sure herself.

"Am I that readable?"

"To me, yes." There was a pause as the women looked at each other in silence.

Alex smiled a weak, kind of embarrassed smile.

"That day in Holby after you left, I went home and ended my marriage. I told Marcus that I wanted a divorce." Alex looked up in surprise. "You walking away broke my heart and I realised just how much I had hurt you. And you were right. I needed to sort my life out. But I also knew that day exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to be. So I have spent the last few months trying to sort myself out so I can prove to you that it is you I want. That I am in love with you and that you can have every last bit of me…..if you still want that."

"You know I want you, I've always wanted you," Alex grinned finally pleased Bernie felt brave enough.