A/N: Hey people! Welcome to another Greek Mythology story XD. This one's more of a comedy, and probably a bit weird. But tbh, we don't see that many stories with The Big Three together, do we? Oh well, enjoy it regardless, and happy reading!
It was a sunny day on Mount Olympus. All was peaceful, calm and quiet.
"THAT IS NOT TRUE, BROTHER!"
At least it was…
"OH YEAH?! I SAW YOU!"
"THAT WAS YOUR IMAGINATION!"
"MY IMAGINATION?! I WILL SMITE YOU, ZEUS!" A tsunami was beginning to form.
"KEEP IT DOWN! I AM TRYING TO WORK!" That was Hera's voice, calling from down the hall.
"Yeah, shut up, Poseidon." Zeus jeered, snickering at his enraged older brother.
"My realm is not for your schemes, Zeus," Poseidon growled, raising his trident. "You will suffer for attempting to lay with my wife, and vandalizing my realm."
"I did not do such thing, you fool!" Zeus grumbled, glaring. "Why would I vandalize your treacherous realm anyway?"
"It is better than your realm!" Poseidon thundered. "You're barely there, anyway! How many mortal women have you laid with this week?" Zeus' lighting bolt appeared in his hand, and he threw it at his brother. Poseidon countered by raising his trident.
"I am late, my apologies," Hades said, entering the room, unintentionally stopping World War 3. He observed the events. "What is going on?!"
"None of your business," Zeus growled. "Why are you late?"
"The Underworld is hard to look after," Hades answered. "It takes a lot of my time."
"It can't be more arduous than my realm." Zeus scoffed. Poseidon nodded in agreement, likewise for his realm.
Hades scowled, "Yes, because I am actually committed to my work, unlike you two."
"Excuse me?!" Poseidon growled, storming up to his big brother. "You lie! What kind of duties do you have that are superior to my own?" [A/N: Dude...]
"That is nothing compared to my realm," Zeus commented. "I am the most important of all!"
"Important?!" Hades retorted, pointing an accusing finger. "You do nothing more than lay with various women! You barely take your job into consideration. And besides, my job is much more imperative. Do you have any idea how hard it is to judge millions of souls?"
"Don't be so preposterous, brother." Zeus growled.
"Hades has a point," Poseidon said, stepping forward. "You tried to harm humanity out of spite once, Zeus. Don't-"
"Me?!" Zeus screamed, storm clouds forming the sky, covering up the sun. "What about you? You've killed many mortals with your storms! And you dare call me spiteful?!"
Poseidon snarled, "Well, you do not know how to be me! All you care about is sex and women! I wish you could understand how a real king acts!"
"And I wish you could act like a real brother!" Zeus retorted, folding his arms.
"Like you'd be able to do either," Hades grumbled. "I doubt you could do my duties for an entire day- no, hour."
"Likewise for you!" Zeus snapped in return. He raised his thunderbolt. "As King of Gods, I order you both to leave my palace NOW!"
"I was just about to!" Poseidon growled, before turning away. The sea was rising, and a hurricane was forming. Meanwhile, storm clouds were covering the sky, turning it grey. Hades stormed out of the palace, yelled fiercely at his chariot for being a minute late, then left to the Underworld.
Hermes was near the palace's door when he watched his furious uncles exit. The Big Three had not been getting on recently, since a little disagreement a while ago. It wasn't good news for anyone (especially the mortals), and the gods usually took it out on the innocent humans. Hermes, while watching the horrendous sky, decided that enough was enough. Whether it be mortals or gods affected, this needed to stop. He felt a cheeky grin spread on his face, as an idea formed in his head.
Zeus was scaring random mortals by making a rather terrifying storm (because he was in a mood, must I explain why?) when his messenger son entered the room.
"Hermes! How dare you walk in without my permission?!" Zeus thundered, standing up.
"You invited me here." Hermes pointed out, though not dryly.
"Oh, so I did," grumbled the elder god. "I need you to deliver a message for me."
"I will," Hermes intervened. "But may I speak with Hera first? I, uh, need to talk to her about something."
Zeus, still scowling said, "Be hasty, then. I do not want my message's arrival to be tardy."
"Got it, Dad," Hermes said, leaving to Queen Hera's chambers. He knocked politely on the door. "Queen Hera?"
"Hermes?" Hera answered the door. "Is there something you need?"
"Yes," Hermes answered. He grinned. "It's about the three elder gods."