Memories of My Purposeful Death

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM!

Scarlet-Nin: I know I shouldn´t start another Fanfiction, but oh well, it´s my decision and I am motivated right now! This Idea just came up to me like 4 hours ago and wouldn´t let me sleep in peace so I wrote a bit of this down. Tell me your opinion! Hope you enjoy~!

„Speaking"

„Thougths"

Chapter 1

Cold, that was the only thing I could feel right now. It felt like my inside were frozen, my body numb. I was absently aware that I was losing too much blood and I must look like a real mess right now, but I couldn´t bring myself to care in this moment. Whoever said that the truth could hurt couldn´t be more right about that. Hell, that´s the understatement of the year. It didn´t just hurt. It was like knives all over your body were twisting, sinking deeper into you flesh as it felt like you were burned alive.

I just gazed at ahead without really seeing anything. My face blank as blood trickled down my chin and onto the rest of my broken body. The sticky liquid that soaked my clothing, making it darker and cling to me was the list bit of my concerns right now.

I heard explosions in the background and then silence. It would have made me curious, but this time I just felt nothing. I wished this was all a bad joke. A nightmare to wake up from. A wish I knew wouldn´t be granted to me because if I closed my eyes now in hope of awakening and forgetting this happened, it would only bring me my death. Even if I don´t really feel much right now, I wouldn´t just give up. I wasn´t one to break a promise. I would keep it even if I have to go through hell.

So, not even the pleasant feeling of sleep could make my eyes drop now. I will just continue enjoying the silence as I waited here for something to happen. Of all things that happened till now, this was probably the biggest fucking cruel joke ever played on me.

"How could I not notice?" That question has been bothering me since my realization. The hints were there. For my Eyes clear to see, but I ignored them. Refusing to admit what was obvious because I didn´t want to see the truth. I should have known.

His behavior, the way he spoke, the jokes he made. It was mocking me now. That was so him. I just closed my eyes and shut of my ears, because I knew it hurt. "Would it have been easier if I had known all along?"

I don´t think so. If anything, it would have only made it harder to cope. Still one there was one thing that hadn´t left me alone.

"Neah had to know it from the very start, but refusing to tell me."

Bitterness was spreading through me like a fire burning down a forest. I knew it was unfair to blame it all on him, It was partly my fault for not listening to the hints, but still. Couldn´t he have tried to tell me? Didn´t we say there were no more secrets? But he had made sure there were things from the start I wouldn´t know. At least not till he got the courage to tell me himself.

To protect me, he said. I let out a bitter chuckle. Look at where that got me. Who said I needed, no wanted his protection anyway?!

Footsteps. It sounded like more than four people running towards my direction. I heard yelling in the background and screaming, but paid no mind to it. I heard them stop near me, probably trying to get me to respond to them, but I only heard parts of what they said.

"…Walker!..."

"ALLEN! ALLEN!"

"H-Hey Beansprout! …dare-…fucking….asleep!"

"...medical-!"

They were sounding so panicked right now, I almost felt bad. Almost being the keyword. I felt hands press down on my wounds to stop the bleeding, they were shaking. Someone was lightly slapping my cheeks and shaking me. I blinked a few times to get my blurry vision to focus. Hadn´t noticed it getting to that point.

I felt something wet hit my arm and blinked again. The rain still hasn´t stopped? No…that´s not right, I don´t feel many raindrops so what could be?

I saw a few pairs of eyes looking at me.

In front of me were big Violet eyes flowing over with tears staring at me like I would disappear if she blinked for a second.

"…-L-Lenalee?..." I muttered in slight shock, feeling dizzier as minutes passed. I saw her face soften in what looked like relief. Now, that I focused on my surroundings I saw a pair of blue eyes glaring at me, was that concern I saw? One green eye looking frightened and relieved at the same time. A pair of usually stern Red eyes were narrowed watching my every breath as I heard someone sigh.

My eyes were dropping not noticing how their faces broke out into panicked expressions at my gesture. It wouldn´t hurt if I rested for a bit, right? I was mentally exhausted and thought I deserved a break. The last thing I saw, heard and felt was being picked up and moved through air at high speed, Green hair and determined Violet eyes and a chilling to the core frightened cry.

"ALLEN!"