This story was inspired by another one of my stories, I Am Noting. While it is not actually a sequel it could be viewed as such. My main focus here was to write the way Chase would actually be thinking in the moment. Hopefully I got it right. I really need reviews on this story because this is an entirely different way of writing than I normally do and want to know if i flopped or not.

Chase's body shook as he kneeled in front of his brother's body, his brother's corpse. Tears streaked down his face and dripped into the growing pool of blood now seeping into Chase's jeans. "No" Chase whispered. His hands were shaking. He wanted them to stop. They had to stop shaking! But they wouldn't. They just wouldn't! He could still feel the cold steel of the knife handle against his right palm and he wanted to wipe the chill away but his hand wouldn't stop moving. He wanted the feeling to go away. But it wouldn't go away!

His skin was pale and he felt colder than he'd ever felt before. The only warmth came from the blood that had poured from his brother's body seconds before. Why did it have to be warm? Why couldn't it be as cold as he was? It wasn't right. It just wasn't! It wasn't supposed to make him feel any warmer!

Adam's eyes were so wide. He looked so scared. He hadn't fought back. He hadn't even fought back! Why couldn't he have just fought back! He should have shoved the knife into Chase's heart. That's what he wanted not this, anything but this! Adam was strong, stronger than him. He could have stopped him but he didn't! Why did he just stand there as Chase stabbed him over and over again? And those eyes, so scared, so sad. He didn't even get to say goodbye!

"I warned you" Chase growled. "I warned you not to and you didn't listen. This is on you Chase"

"It wasn't me!" Chase sobbed. "It wasn't me! It wasn't me! It wasn't me. It wasn't ME!"

"But it was. You held the knife. You stabbed him. You killed him Chase. We killed him." Chase's deep voice hissed.

"Why are you doing this? Do you really think this will make me want to live!" Chase cried, collapsing forward, tears falling faster than before. His face grew warmer and Chase felt just a little relief. The chill might finally go away.

"No" the deep voice growled from Chase's lips like a furious animal. A shiver ran through Chase. He opened his eyes and gasped. His breath stopped. His heart stopped. His brain Stopped. He couldn't move. He was frozen! Frozen with his cheek lying against his dead brother's still warm chest, blood trickling from a stab would inches from his eyes. "But it will stop you from trying to kill yourself again." The voice said.

Chase screamed, louder than he'd ever screamed before yet his mouth didn't move. He was paralyzed, screaming in his mind like a madman being sucked down to hell. Adam was dead. Adam was dead! His brother was dead and it was all his fault. Adam was warm. The body was still warm! But he was dead. He was dead but still warm. He shouldn't be warm. He should be warmer than Chase. Chase was still alive. Adam was dead. He was dead!

"I will repeat myself one last time." The deep voice spoke though Chase. "This is my body too. I am as much you as you are me. We are one weather you like it or not and I won't die. I won't kill myself because your life is so pathetic. If you try and kill yourself I will kill one of our family. Your brother was first. It is up to you weather there will be another."

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. The rope had been so tight. The noose had been tight. It had cut of his air, choked him. He should have died. Everything went black but he didn't die. Spike didn't let them. He didn't let them die. Spike warned him but he had wanted it to end. All he wanted was it all to end but it didn't and Adam payed the price. Adam ended. Adam died and Chase had killed him. Spike had killed him. They had killed him and Adam was dead.

I tried to write like a scared panicking person who couldn't seem to grasp what was actually going on. I read through it five times changing things every time. I could easily edit it another six or seven times but I believed this was close enough to what I wanted to portray. PLEASE REVIEW!