I walked back to the room—my room—mind reeling.

Lexa and I…it felt weird thinking Lexa and I, but it felt good, too.

I had been so angry at her for so long. For abandoning me at Mount Weather nearly four months ago. But she did what any good leader would do, what I would've done if our roles had been reversed. She had saved her people. And I couldn't hate her anymore. I had forgiven her a while ago. I had started to forgive her when she bowed before me, swearing fealty. "I swear fealty to you, Klark kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my needs, and your people as my people." And we had grown closer. Though she didn't know it. Until our goodbye.

I went in with the intention of saying goodbye, to just say it. Goodbye. But I couldn't. Not with the love in those green eyes, not when I saw her holding back tear. And I kissed her. She looked at me with so much disbelief and she had cried.

I cried too.

And then, for such a short period of time, we were in a blissfully happy place, lying naked underneath the fur, whispers and touches and just love.

But that small bubble of security was gone.

Now I was at the door to my room, here to pack, here to ride back in the middle of the night to beat the blockade to stop a war.

I didn't know if I'd live to see Lexa again.

The first casualty of war is innocence. I had already lost that. I lost everything.

Lexa was all I had left to come back to.

I opened the door, stepping inside and halting when I saw a person, bloody, tied and gagged to a chair at the foot of my bed.

"Murphy?"

I rushed to the unconscious boy and began to untie him. A person moved into my view and I froze. "He's alive."

I felt movement beneath my hands. Murphy was beginning to wake up, groaning.

"What did you do to my friend?" Murphy and I were never really friends, but I didn't care, not at this moment. I didn't care for Titus' response, either.

Murphy groaned again and tried to speak but the gag muffled his words. "You're okay." I reached to remove the barrier but Titus' voice stopped me.

"Please don't do that."

That's when I noticed the object in the Flamekeeper's hand. A gun. I removed my hands from the gag, standing up slowly, my hands in the air. "Titus. What is this about?" I felt fear, not just for myself, but for Murphy. For Lexa. If I died, would she revert back into her cold, heartless shell? It couldn't all be for nothing.

But I wouldn't let the man see my fear.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Clarke. Truly, I am." He walked towards me and I instinctively backed away.

"I'm leaving, right now. Octavia's waiting for me. Let me take Murphy and we'll go."

"I wish I could," he said remorsefully as he lifted his armed hand, pointing the weapon at me. "But Lexa will never execute her duty while you live."

I shook my head, pleadingly. I tried to make the man see reason. "Titus, think! She's going to know it was you!"

He gestured to Murphy. "She'll think it was him. Skaikru weapon in the hands of a Skaikru thief. She might even be angry enough to declare war!"

He shot the first bullet and I ducked out to the way. It ricocheted off of the bedpost and I prayed it wouldn't hit Murphy. A vase shattered behind me as he shot again. I grabbed the nearest object, a spare chair, and flung it at Titus as I raced for the door. I needed to get out of there. Now. I almost to the door when she shot from his place on the ground.

He aimed too far in front of me.

The bullet went through the open door.

The bullet hit her.

"Lexa!"

I almost wished he had shot me.

She gasped, her breathing loud enough for me to hear. She looked down at her abdomen, where the blood was spreading, turning her shirt black. She looked to me, her green eyes filled with confusion and shock, before her knees gave way. I caught her as she fell.

"Heda!" Titus breathed, dropping the weapon, a look of horror on his face. He crawled over to us.

"Help me get her the bed!" I ordered. He lifted her and rushed her over, lying her on the fur. I ripped the shirt open, watching the blood gush out.

She looked at me, eerily calm. Acceptance was written on her face. "Don't be afraid," she whispered brokenly. She was comforting me. She was the one bleeding out on the bed, yet she was comforting me.

"Get me something to stop the bleeding!"

He returned seconds later with a bowl of water and some clean rags.

"Good," I grabbed the rags, trying to clear away the blood. "Now, untie Murphy and then go get her guards. Tell them to fetch a leader. And the three oldest Natblidas."

He hesitated. "Natblidas?"

I glared at him. "Go!"

He took one look at the pale, squirming girl on the bed and then quickly released Murphy and fled out the door. Murphy moved stiffly with a limp, but he made his way over.

"Put pressure on the wound," I ordered and he nodded.

I took Lexa's face between my hands. She looked at me with wide eyes. "Hey, you're going to be okay." She swallowed hard but didn't speak. "Just keep fighting. Don't you dare give up."

She nodded. "I won't." Her voice was small, breathless, but still strong.

Just then a guard ran into the room and I met him at the doorway. "I need you to find me some things." He nodded hastily. "I need two needles, this big," I held up my fingers to show him. "I also need a tube, about this long."

He left to find me what I needed.

"The bleeding is slowing," Murphy called over. "But she's starting to lose consciousness." I raced over to the bed.

"Lexa, Lexa stay with me."

"Klark…" she mumbled.

"I'm here. It's okay. I won't let you die."

"Clarke…"

"No," I shook my head. "You're going to live. I won't accept anything else."

She gave me a watery smile. How can she still be so strong?

"You were right, Clarke. Life is about more than just surviving." It was said in barely a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear. Those were the words I told her before the Mountain, before our first kiss.

"Of course I was right," I laughed though it came out as more of a choke. The tears were catching up to me. "And you're going to live, not just survive. Osir gomplei nou ste odon nowe."

After a long moment, she nodded. "Osir gomplei nou ste odon nowe."

…

It took all night. A grounder healer had come and given me coagulant to give to Lexa. She was barely conscious. I had removed the bullet, my first real surgery. She barely made it through. She was week, and her fight was wavering. She had lost too much blood.

Titus had brought in the three oldest Nightbloods. Aden, Kaiya, and Simon. After a quick explanation, which Titus had shouted was blasphemy, Aden was connected to Lexa through a tube and he was giving her fresh Nightblood. The children had no reservations—they loved their Heda and were willing to give her as much blood as they could.

That was a few hours ago. They were sent to bed after they gave her their blood to rest up; they wanted to stay with her. The only reason they reluctantly left was when I promised to wake them when she woke up.

….

"If she dies, they will be too weak to fight properly in the conclave," Titus hissed to me. "Them their blood, along with hers, will be on your hands."

I swung around angrily. Murphy, who hadn't heard his words but had seem my movement, moved to stand beside me. Ready to protect if need be.

"My hands? You shot her!" I shouted angrily. Furiously. "You nearly killed your Commander!"

Nearly. She can't die.

He was about to shout back, but a quiet, wavering voice made us both freeze.

"Klark…"