Summoning the wrong death God.

AN- All views expressed in this chapter are the views of the author and not of this website, and may not even be the views of the author

chapter 2- Team rock face.

Harry suddenly stood ramrod straight and turned to look at the three men behind him, after a moment he turned back to Hiruzen sarutobi with wide, scared eyes. "I see dead people." He squeaked out in a terrified voice. "just fucking with you" suddenly extremely serious, "I'ma kill me some sand people." And with that he leapt from the roof into the battle field below, running towards the rampaging Suna Jinchurichi, leaving a trail of blood curdling screams and transfigured haddock in his wake.

Hiruzen was struggling to process everything he had just seen. "This... This isn't how life works, things like this don't just happen... I've finally cracked."

The forth walked over to him with a smile on his face as the first two Hokages ran into the crowds to defend the village. "Hey old man, it's really us, don't worry." Minato chuckled out giving hiruzen a pat on the back. "I'm surprised you're still hokage, would have thought my son would have taken the hat by now."

The third Hokage let out a fond chuckle and with a sigh said, "he's been trying but he's only twelve and not quite strong enough yet."

"Huh, because i'm pretty sure I just saw him punch a jinchurichi through his fully released bijuu. Over there ,the suna jinchurichi is that big splat mark on the ground." the fourth was sounding extremely pleased for someone who's son had just turned another child into a jashinist's art project.

They suddenly heard harry potter's shout of "Oy you little yellow haired midget that was my kill. Now I want to punch someone through something." he then proceeded to punch a small sand genin through an extremely large sound jounin. "Woohoo ten points."

As the third and fourth leapt into battle, harry spotted several extremely large snakes attacking the outskirts of the village. "Oh my god, I want one." quickly apparating onto the nearest ones head he began to hiss at it, "Hello ickle snakey wakey, I am your master now, for together we shall rule this world and all of the pathetic humans shall shower us with mice the size of houses and warm rocks the size of larger houses."
"I can undersstand human sspeech jusst fine you know. And everything you jusst ssaid iss extremely racisst." The snake said whilst glaring at the human on her head.

"Oh who cares, imperio, destroy the sand and sound shinobi coming through the hole in the walls you just created, then kill your self in the most amusing way possible." Apperating to another breach in the wall, leaving the snake to carry out his commands, Harry saw another snake bearing down on a group of leaf nins and with a wave of his hand the snake had been cut in half across it's body, as it poofed away in a cloud of smoke Harry was able to fire an over-powered exploding curse into the mass of sound nins behind it, turning them into a fine red spray that covered the area. Harry stood there in front of his shell-shocked comrades and took a dramatic pose, breathing in deeply through his nose and said, "I love the smell of disintegrated bodies in the morning." and apperated away with a soft crack leaving some of the newer nin in the group who weren't used to such carnage to loose their lunch on the floor.

Meanwhile Yamato was fighting alongside what remained of his anbu squad against over whelming odds, his squad was down to three people and they were fighting ten times that many, he was just about to call a retreat to regroup and rest after his last wood clone was destroyed when a dark figure jumped from the roof behind to land next to him facing the enemy. The enemy froze, eyes wide with shock. "You know" the figure spoke, "I'm a pretty peaceful guy, but when you come into the home I built and try to destroy not only my work but the work of countless other shinobi and civilians, I get angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Slamming his hands to the ground, a large tree appeared in the middle of the large group of enemy shinobi, as it grew its sharp branches impaled them all. the figure looked towards Yamato with a cheeky grin, "whats the matter kid, cant keep your wood up." while waggling his eyebrows at the destroyed wood clone and then his pointy tree of death. He quickly disappeared with a shunshin and a muttered, "the treacle tart will be mine."

"what the fuck is treacle tart." asked one of the anbu.

..."Thats your question, you just watched, the apparently not dead now, first hokage turn thirty people into shisch kebabs, and you want to know what a treacle tart is?"

"What the fuck is a shisch kebab?"

Yamato was too tired for this shit, so he popped a soldier pill and walked away looking for new enemy's to take his frustrations out on. After watching the resulting slaughter none of his anbu team would ever ask a dumbass question again.

With the second hokage, Tobirama flashed(TM) into the center of the arena and began shooting a rapid fire series of suiton: taihodan at any enemy shinobi within reach, he then used the puddles from his previous water jutsu to form large watery tentacles which proceeded to choke the remaining enemy shinobi. "Alright, lets move out this area is clear." but suddenly saw a yellow flash to the right of him. he saw one of the other resurrected Hokages from earlier stood next to a one eyed scarecrow looking man and his eyes narrowed. That man was an arse hole.

With the fourth Hokage, looking over across the battle field he spotted his first target and flashed (because trademark and copy-write infringement are for pussies who cant kill a guy in a hundred different ways) next to him. "Hey kakashi hows Obito?"

Kakashi looked up with a shocked expression on his face, "Sensei?.. He's dead."

"Ooh, thats just crushing." Kakashi flinched at that. "Well how's Rin."

"Shes... Shes dead too sensei, you know this."

"Ah, that one gets me right here." minato gasped whilst clutching his heart.

"Well how about your father, I'm sure he's fine, the only person strong enough to kill him was himself..." Minato was struggling to fight off a smile at this point. "Oh not him too, that's a real shot to the guts."

Suddenly kakashi fired up his chidori and minato flashed away. "That guys an ass hole." shouted the second Hokage.

"A colossal asshole." shouted back kakashi.

Flash back- the night of the kyuubi attack.
Minato and Kushina both had one of kyuubi's claws sticking through their back, Minato wrapped his arm's around Kushina, holding her tightly."At least you died doing what you loved my beautiful kushina." Kushinas face lit up in one final smile. "Being penetrated from behind *cough* *cough* giggity" kushina suddenly gave off a spike of killing intent so powerful that it terrified even the Kyuubi.

"You are such an ass hole!" rang out in an angry screech as kushinas final word's.