Title: A Thousand Steps Back
Summary: Waige at rock-bottom. One-shot.
Characters: Walter, Paige
Setting: After 3x12
DISCLAIMER: All rights go to CBS and relevant parties, as I do not own Scorpion.
A/N: Get ready for some angst-filled Waige that I felt should have happened on the show to relieve some tension. Don't worry though, there's a happy ending :)
The silence in the garage was deafening.
Everyone had left for home except Paige. Toby and Happy went back to their apartments and Sylvester was keeping Cabe company in the hospital but Paige was staying back in the garage to finish work. Usually, she would do so to keep Ralph company but he was out for a sleepover at a friend's place.
Walter brought his gaze to the empty desk in front of him. She was up in his loft. It was just the two of them for the past hour or two and the tension in the room was palpable. Paige asked him earlier if she could use his loft, claiming that it would be easier for her to focus. He let her.
He wasn't sure if he could survive any longer if she were still downstairs.
Now that her desk was empty, he couldn't stop thinking about her.
No, it's not that he saw her naked. Although yes, that was a pleasant thought. But, it's because of what she said to him in the car.
"Walter, the only thing I'm thinking about right now, is Cabe and how serious this is. I mean, someone has to think about it."
Was she really implying that he wasn't thinking about him? Or how badly he wanted to save him? Or how he simply could not bear to grow through another process of grief, after he lost his sister?
He shook his head. Nobody was understanding him.
Not even Paige.
He missed her. He missed the old her. Gone was the Paige who was understanding, a good listener, the person who would always take his side or at least hear him out when it was needed. She didn't do that anymore. And he wasn't sure if she was ever going to be that again. Now, she was impatient, constantly angry and frustrated of the little things he or the team was doing. She would now say things like "Just when I thought you were an android, you're not." How could she? How could she compare him to a robot? Her very own son was just like him. Was she saying that he was a robot too?
Walter sighed and rubbed his temples. Many things changed ever since Tim came into the team.
He needed to make things right again, because he wasn't sure if he could live like this.
-SCORPION-
Paige stared into the screen of her laptop. Although her eyes were fixated on the screen, her mind was somewhere else.
No, not naked Walter. Although, at that thought, she smiled. She couldn't remember when the last thought of Walter made her smile. All Walter has been lately was problematic.
Yes, she was still angry at the fact that he drove Tim away from the team. She's still pissed at Walter's emotional progress and how he conveys how he feels. It was true, he was one step forward and a hundred steps back.
But then again, so were they.
Their friendship, or kinship. Whatever they called it.
Their thing - more than a friendship but less than a relationship.
They were now so far behind from whatever they were working towards to. They used to be close, talking everyday about anything and everything. But - as much as she hates to admit it - ever since Tim, things has just never been the same.
She knew she was losing her temper with the geniuses. But she wasn't sure why she was doing so.
They used to be her life. Now, taking care of all of them seemed like a chore, and Walter was just one big mess himself.
She sighed. She's not sure where she lost Walter, or when she did, but he's definitely not with her now. She wants him back.
The thought of living without him was driving her nuts.
-SCORPION-
"Paige?" Walter called out from behind the loft door. He needed to speak to her, maybe there would be a small chance she would forgive him, and move on together.
She lifted her head at the sound of his voice. Did he know that she was thinking about him? Or wait...was he thinking about her too? The thought of Walter thinking about her made her blush. She took a deep breath to remind herself; I'm still angry at him.
"Come in," she said, her voice now emotionless.
He pushed the door slowly and took a small step into his house. He should feel totally at ease (it was his house, after all) but somehow, he was nervous. He wasn't sure how she would respond to him.
"I thought about him," he started. He got her attention and she turned to face him, lifting her hands away from her laptop.
"What?"
"Cabe. You said in the car. I thought about him. It wasn't just you."
"Oh," she replied, finally understanding what he was saying.
"Is that all you came here for?" Paige asked, impatient.
There she goes again, the Tim effect.
She continued when all she heard was silence. "Or was it to tell me that I was wrong?"
That shook Walter out of his thinking state.
"No."
"No what?" She was getting fed up. Why won't you speak clearly?
"Both." Her expression softened after his answer, but she still looked agitated. He continued when she didn't speak. "I thought about Cabe after the accident. A lot." His voice then broke, his eyes turning slightly red. "I didn't want to lose him. My brain just short-circuited and said the wrong things." He took a breath. "I'm sorry if you found what I said disturbing. It was inappropriate."
"You're sorry?" She pretended to laugh. "Why are you telling me all this? Shouldn't this be addressed to Cabe?"
"I did. I told him. And apologised."
"Okay." Her voice clipped.
He didn't get it. Why was she still angry?
"Are you going to leave now?" Paige stared at him when she saw that he was still standing there.
"What do you want me to say?" He couldn't take it any longer.
"What?"
"Visibly, you're still angry at me. You're still giving me the cold treatment and I don't understand why. Now, you seem to be chasing me out. I'm confused."
Paige sighed. Must she really do this now? She closed her laptop and stood up.
"You want to know why I'm angry at you, Walter?"
He nodded.
"Okay." She inhaled deeply. Just the thought of her explaining to him was already making her blood boil. She starting pacing.
"I'm angry at you, with the way you treated Tim. I'm mad at you because you didn't try to make him feel welcomed in Scorpion. I'm mad at you, because you always say you will try to make progress, emotionally, which you do, but you always regress. I have no idea why. Maybe you do it on purpose? Maybe you don't even know. Who knows? Okay! I'm angry at you because you're making things on my end here a lot harder for me."
There were tears in her eyes. He could tell she was trying to fight them back. He couldn't anything to help her at this point because he himself was angry at her.
She continued, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. "I'm angry at you because you always say something but never deliver. You told me you were going to stay out of my personal relationships. But then here you go forcing Tim out of Scorpion. You told me that you were going to get along with Tim, but no, you both clearly don't. Whenever Tim tries, you just shoot him down. I don't know what's wrong with you."
Did she really say all of that? Walter could not believe it.
"Oh and don't go telling me that Tim told you he's going to leave on his own accord. He's being polite. Polite, something you apparently have not learned to be." She took a breath and just kept on going, tears already streaming down her cheeks, as she slowly list one by one, all of his flaws.
"Paige!" She just won't stop.
"PAIGE! Stop, please." Walter shouted.
His loud voice surprised her. She stopped talking. She stopped moving.
"Have you ever-" He stopped and took a deep breath. He wished he doesn't have to lay things out like this. But it seemed like it was the only way she would understand. "Have you ever stopped to think about how I feel with Tim joining the team? I wasn't given a choice. He just walks right in here and called shots. I didn't have a say on why he was here, when will he stay until or do I even allow him to stay. I tried my best to make him feel welcomed. Have you even thought of the possibility that it was his decision to leave? That he came up to me and told me he wants to take the job in Jordan? That even when I offered him a place to continue to stay he didn't take it? You keep thinking that all of this is because of me, which is true but you need to stop blaming me for things that I did not do. I did not kick Tim out of the garage."
"Stop blaming you? Things that you did not do?" She turned around and faked laughed again.
"Yes."
"Walter, you both know why we are in this position today."
His expression was blank.
"Linda. If you didn't try to "date" her, I wouldn't have to go running off to find someone who could understand me more than what you could."
Did she really think that? That he couldn't understand her?
"I did a lot of things for you, Paige."
"Oh really? Because all I see is problem, after problem, after problem..."
"PAIGE!" Walter grunted. "You're not listening!"
"Well I am! You're not speaking!"
"Okay okay!" He raised his hands up in defence. "I'll speak." He cleared his throat. "I dated Linda because I was trying to prove to myself, or to you, that whatever romantic endeavour I embark on will be disastrous."
She did not look impressed.
"You knew that already." He glanced at her and continued, "That day that you got together with Tim, I was breaking up with her. I gave you those jazz tickets that I bought for me and Linda."
"You gave me jazz tickets? Are you out of your mind Walter? That's not giving! You basically just shoved them in my face to go with Tim!"
"Which you did!"
"I gave you a chance make me stay! You didn't take it."
Walter sighed. She was right. But still...
"I was trying to tell you something. You didn't want to listen." Walter retaliated.
"I LISTENED TO YOU!" She screamed. Walter, startled, took a couple of steps back, now his back was almost leaning against the door.
She continued, still raising her voice. "I and the rest of the team, listened to you, babble mindlessly when you were up in space. I asked you, the week you came back, if you remembered anything. Anything. You said no. I believed you, until you said you're going to get a Baked Alaska, that's when I knew what you said was only bullshit."
Walter was in shock. How could she use what happened in space against him?
Paige opened her mouth to add when he didn't say anything. "Don't you dare say you don't remember."
"I do." He said, his voice not giving away any hints that he was angry. Inside, he was furious.
"So you knew, then. What I felt for you?" Walter asked, as calmly as he could.
"Yes." Paige replied, her voice a lot calmer than before.
"THEN WHY DID YOU!" He calmed himself down. She had already taken a few more steps away from him. "Then why did you flaunt your happy relationship with Tim in front of me!? You knew that it hurt! Why did you shun me away when our conversations got personal? Do you not want us?" He blinked, tears falling down his cheeks. He couldn't care less at this point.
Paige's heart skipped a beat. It took her a moment to realise what he said was true. She didn't realise her actions had hurt him so much.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, tears still rolling.
"You didn't answer my question."
There was a moment of silence. In that moment, all they could hear was the sound of each other's sniffles and quiet sobs.
"I want us," She finally said. She looked at Walter in the eye. His face broke her heart. "But not like this, Walter. Not if we're going to be like this."
He finally made eye contact with her and her tear stained face ripped his heart into two. He wanted so much to cradle her in his arms. But not like this, he couldn't be sure if she would willingly embrace him, or push him away.
"I want us too. But not like this either." Walter said softly.
She took a step forward, and wiped her tears with one hand.
"I'm sorry, Walter. I really am. I don't know what came over me. I don't know what came over us..." Her voice trailed as emotions overcame her again.
"I forgive you." He said.
"What?" She gasped softly.
He chuckled, for the first time in days. "You thought I wouldn't?"
She smiled, almost beaming. "I forgive you too."
He smiled in return. He missed her smile. It made him happy.
She took a step forward and closed the gap, leaving them only about a foot apart. Walter leaned in and embraced her in a tight hug. She was startled at first, but warmly reciprocated it.
"Thank you." He whispered.
After a few more long seconds of staying in that position, they pulled away.
"Shall we...put the past behind us?" Paige suggested, offering him her hand.
He looked at it, hesitant to put his hand in hers.
"What about Tim? Aren't you both..."
"We broke up today. At the airport. That's why I was late. I'm sorry. I took my anger out on you."
"Oh." Walter said, slightly shocked, but internally happy. "Are you...alright?"
"Yea. I will be." If you take my damn hand, Walter.
"Okay." He slowly slid his palm into hers. Oh he missed this. He missed this so much.
They smiled at each other, as they interlinked their fingers.
"It's good to be back, Walter." Paige said, smiling.
He gave her hand a soft squeeze. "It's good to have you back, Paige."
He knew she would know what he meant.
A/N: And that's the end of this one-shot! Hope you enjoyed.