Fudge: Guess of what I now devote mine mind to, Pete.

Chorus: Sayeth Peter's little brother, Fudge.

Fudge: Aye, on the very morrow, a wedding awaits me.

Peter: (Aside) I looketh up from the cards which portray yon famous baseball stars. (To Fudge) Be not this kind of sudden, O Hasty Fudge? (Aside) I asketh this because-

Chorus: He asketh this because Fudge hath had only five years on this blessed earth.

Peter: I can narrate mine own thoughts, thanks to thee very much.

Chorus: Apologies.

Fudge: No, indeed 'tis not.

Peter: Well… who art the lucky (Aside) Ha! (To Fudge) bride, who shalt be with you on the morrow?

Fudge: Sheila Tubman beith the bride.

Peter (Aside) I now fall the whole of my body to the floor, pretending to hath fainted deadest of dead way.

Fudge: Get thee up, O Beloved Pete!

Peter: (Aside) What goeth with this strange Pete business? Indeed, e're since Fudge hath received the gift of speech, he has known and called me by Pee-tah.

[Enter Tootsie, just a year and a half old]

Tootsie: Dearest Peter, who fills mine heart every day with thine tender and loving brotherly care, may I be so bold as to request the you lift me up in your ever-strong arms?

[Enter Mom]

Mom: O Peter, oldest of mine excitable brood, what hath happened? Ist thou all right?

Fudge: Mom, 'twas not three minutes go I gave him the news of my impending marriage, after which he simply fell in a fit upon thine wooden floor.

Peter: The fit was caused by nothing else than the bride which Fudge hath mentioned.

Mom: Aye, what glad tidings be these? Who is yon bride?

Fudge: Sheila Tubman.

Peter: Say that hag's name yet another time and the previous fit will overtake me yet again!

Mom: Since thou hast spoken of Sheila Tubman…

Peter: Hark! I feel sickly in the very marrows my bones because of your statement!

Mom: O Peter, can thou not see thou ist much overdoing it? Yon Buzz Tubman hath told us about the house which lyeth in Maine, after all.

Fudge: That which spelleth Maine is M-A-I-N-E.

Mom: And this house, it be no further than a few footsteps away from yon place they hath rented for their vacation.

Peter: Methinks I hath missed something. Of what house and vacation speaketh thou?
Mom: Doest thou remember when we decided to give our tormented souls a well-deserved rest and depart to far-off parts in the blessed month of August?

Peter: Yes… so what forsooth?

Mom: So we hath gotten a deal on the house in Maine that doth surpass all others in terms of thriftiness and convenience.

Peter: And yon Tubmans will reside a mere few footsteps away from us? Sheila Tubman(a pox on that name)…the door which is next…for the hideously long span of two detestable weeks?

Mom: The hideously long span of three detestable weeks.

Peter: (Aside) I now fall yet again into a fit upon the floor!

Fudge: Alack! He fell yet again into a fit upon the floor, O Weary-Looking Mom!

Mom: Despair not, Fair Fudge, 'tis nothing more than a childish pretense.

Fudge: So I need not join Sheila in holy matrimony on the morrow, I may save my wedding until we doth arrive in Maine.

Mom: Verily, that surely maketh more sense. In Maine, a nice wedding under yon trees can be held.
Tootsie: Ah, the tall oaks, the durable pines, the majestic nature which all trees posses!

Chorus: And that is how it all doth begin…