Goodbye my lover

A/N hello again! I'm back again with another MollCroft one shot/song inspired fic!
Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt has been an absolute favourite for years.
Enjoy!

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Molly didn't wait to see the black car pull away from the curb; she dashed to her flat without a delay. Her shoulders shook and fingers trembled as she fiddled with keys at the door and dropped them, once, cursing quietly as the tears threatened to fall.

The second time they hit the ground she cursed a bit louder and a loud sniff escaped.

The third time an anguished growl left her throat which turned into a sob as she scooped them up and burst into her own front room throwing herself on the sofa.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

Molly and Mycroft had fallen into a mutable beneficial arrangement during Sherlock's absence and on his return Molly had expected Mycroft to call it off, thanking her lucky stars that it has lasted as long as it had. She even went as far as to broach the subject, sort of 'provoking the inevitable' as she saw it, hoping it would lessen the blow to her sentimental heart if she triggered the timing.

It was a Sunday evening, so the world was winding down, even for Mycroft. She sat in his large front room on his sofa, wedged against his side as he drank a whiskey and watched the open fire crackle. She loved these quiet moments most of all, don't misunderstand; the not quiet moments, the sex, was good, so good, she blushed, but sitting in the cosy room with him like this made her appreciate him so much more. But it was with that that the dreaded stomach churning thought hit her, 'this'll all be over soon.' Her shoulders stiffened and she shifted a little.

She'd concluded, after never really discussing it, he'd allowed this to happen to deal with the grief and guilt of Sherlock's exile, he is human after all, and now it was all sort of blown over it was only a matter of time before he'd cut ties and ended this tryst, seeing it as an unnecessary distraction and want for a better phrase, a waste of time. Even if the sex was good.

Her heart raced as she squeezed her eyes shut, "Molly, just say whatever it is you're worrying about; your over thinking is giving me a migraine." The low rumble of his voice shook her from her thoughts and she could hear the minor concern in his tone but she scoffed all the same and knew his eyebrow had shot up without their eyes meeting. His arm rested around her shoulders loosely and he had taken to stroking shapes onto her arm. She remained where she was deciding this would be easier for her heart if she didn't have to see him say the words and fiddled with her empty glass.

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

"Sherlock's back now..."

"Good lord, it's taken you this long to notice?" Mock astonishment on his part. "Are you quite well?"

She huffed good naturedly and tried to continue but ended up just taking a few breaths and making a thin line with her lips. "Will this... I mean, our, this.." she gestured to the room, "will it change? Is this going to change?"
He didn't reply straight away, just like her, unsure of the circumstances and conditions to which she fell prey that lead to their situation.

The stroking stopped and he took a deep breath, "I see no reason for it to differ just because my brother has finished his task. This current arrangement is suitable still, that is, I'm happy-" and with that his phone rang. "Sorry my dear. Duty calls." He kissed the top of her head as he moved to stand and left the room, phone clutched to his ear, shoulders set for war.

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

'I'm happy.' that's where he left it.

I'm happy to continue?

I'm happy with you?

I'm happy full stop?

I'm happy tolerating you for the time being?

Her head ached the more she mulled over the possibilities of that short statement. Aren't I bloody glad I asked now?

She'd fallen asleep on the sofa where he'd left her hours before and with the very welcome and forward wake up call she received she decided that 'I'm happy' was definitely a good thing and she should be happy too

So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care

But she now lay crumpled on her sofa, still in her coat and scarf clutching a pillow to her chest which heaved with great sobs as she recovered from the brisk and direct discussion that had taken place in the car a few moments earlier.

"Mycroft?" Molly had spotted the car just outside her work and head straight to the passenger door without hesitation. "I wasn't expecting you today - is everything alright?" She sat down and he gave a small smile and nodded for the driver to continue giving no reply to the worrying Doctor. She glanced over him and took in the formidable suit and pocket chain. The umbrella ever present along with the over coat and frosty air sent shivers through her but not in fear. No, long had gone the fear and intimidation and it was now replaced with a very prominent rush of affection and a blush that reached… well, yes, he had a certain effect on her.

Once the privacy screen had risen she moved to place her hand over his as she had done so many times before. She thought of the first time he had instigated any sort of couple contact like hand holding in the car; she nearly jumped a foot and couldn't stop her heart racing for the entire journey but now it was done without much thought other than to his love of privacy.

A small smile hit her lips as she touched his hand but the breath left her lungs when he removed it.

"Miss Hooper," Well that hit like a freight train, she was sure she wasn't breathing, she hadn't been 'Miss Hooper' in almost a year. "The time has come to conclude our alliance." He didn't look at her during his small speech but produced a white envelope. "This is for services rendered and should cover any inconvenience on your part." The car pulled to a stop. "I wish you all the best Miss Hooper." The car door opened.

You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you

Her sobs came to an end slowly and she adjusted so she was comfortable. Removing her coat and scarf and getting a tissue she plonked back on the sofa. She closed her eyes and lay her head down, how could he be so heartless and drop her and whatever it was they had so unceremoniously? Could he really he so cold?! And then handing her an expenses envelope like she was a common whore! Services rendered! Services bloody rendered! He could take that envelop and stick it right up his stuck up-

At that moment footsteps could be heard climbing the stairs and approaching the door. She held her breath, if it was her neighbours or landlady she wasn't in any state to be dealing with them now. No knock came, just the white envelop being slid under the door and then then the click of heels left the way they came.

I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

She frowned and sniffed a little, Toby had appeared to investigate the kerfuffle and proceeded to pat the object on the mat a few times then mewed heading over to his dish. She stood and stroked his back, staring at the envelop in confusion. Just then the phone buzzed in her coat pocket but the number she didn't recognise.

First message - Open it.

Second message - Please. A.

She huffed, Athena hadn't ever messaged her before… Resigned to opening it she sighed and picked it up. She held it to the light, a letter? Frowning she eased the flap open and examined it closely.

Sherlock would be having a fit about now if he knew she'd opened an unmarked envelope that had been slid under her door without messaging him first. All sorts of narcotics can be administered this way and she'd be a sitting duck for any plans Moriarty had left behind. Though, she imagined he'd be having a break down if he knew the extent of her relationship with his elder brother. She gave a wet smile to that and then reminded herself it was past tense now.

Just to be sure she went around her flat and double checked the locks on the windows and doors and set her phone next to her at the table with Sherlock's number dialed just in case.

The letter read;

To my dearest,

If you are reading this then the most unfortunate circumstances have come upon us and I have had to do something most foul.

Hopefully, at the very least, I have been able to hand you this in person and know I have offered it with a thousand apologies.

Please burn this once you have gained all you can from its pages.

Trust that this is for the right reasons.

Time has been blessed and know that you are never far from my thoughts. This moment comes from the deepest concerns for you and know that it is in your best interest that I act.

I am a dreamer but when I wake
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be

I found keeping this impersonal for the sake of security a hard and strenuous task as I know the time you receive this letter will be a time you need to hear honesty not delicate deception and cryptic clues.

You offered me something I didn't realise I needed nor wanted and the loss of this will be felt greatly and for longer than you can imagine.

If circumstances were different I couldn't imagine anyone more perfect to see the future through with. You came into my life and brightened it and for that I will forever be grateful.

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you

I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine. And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you

Goodbye my lover,

Goodbye my friend
You have been the one for me."

A small note accompanied the letter.

"Burn me. If you ever felt the same you'll burn me, just as I have you."

Molly left out a heartfelt sob once more and clutched the letter tightly. Would she ever understand the reason for being cut off so brutally?

Trust was all she had after she burnt the pages of confession… she gulped down another sob and switched on her gas hob. Reading the words once more she lit all four corners and watched it burn until she couldn't hold it anymore. The Ashes gathered in the sink and she considered the smaller letter, written in Mycroft delicate scrawl, she'd keep that. She held it a little longer and then tucked it unto the page of the latest journal she had been reading. It was the only evidence that she hadn't dreamt the whole thing in a stress endured nightmare.

She poured a cup of tea and head straight to bed, laying down in the dark room still rereading the letter in her head. What is happening in the world if Mycroft has done this? Is he safe? She'd text Sherlock in the morning to make sure of it. She pulled up her cat duvet and Toby came to curl up next to his owner's chest.

This isn't the end. She'd make sure of it.

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

Mycroft sat staring at his phone in the back of his car not 20 yards from Molly's flat. He watched the CCTV as she cried, smiled sadly as she set up to open the letter and his chest ached as she burned the closest thing to a declaration of his affection she'd ever get in this lifetime. Alone in the back of the car he was willing to admit that he was moved and his eyes were quite possibly swimming, though no tears fell, for the loss of what could have been.

This was for the best though.

He lowered the privacy window and told the driver to move on. This was the fairest way, there was no other.

For once in his life Mycroft had legwork to do and he had no idea how it was going to end.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

A/N Let me know what you think!

Maybe this Time is still going - I'm just stumbling over a writers block.