PART I

Her coffee was cold again, just like her every lead. With a sigh of frustration, she tossed the papers from the file onto her desk, not liking the now untidy appearance. Sighing once more, she began to tidy the file's contents, now able to hear the background chatter of the nightly news on the television.

"Here tonight with us, we have a specialist to help analyze the notorious Black Widow's appearance on Capitol Hill, this of course occurring due to the recent and major leak of highly confidential S.H.I.E.L.D. files as well as the fall of the private agency itself—" She muted the channel and looked back to her still messy desk.

Everything was still just a mess.

It had almost been a full week since she'd been out of her apartment. Of course, with everything that had happened—the extinction of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the leaks of information that went viral the second Natasha had uploaded it to the net—her name was famous for the first time. Her existence was revealed and her cocoon of safety had unraveled, leaving her without a shield of protection. No longer was she behind the curtain, everything was known and being subjected to discussion. The young Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., a woman of secret and several impressive qualifications. Everything was out in the open. Bellamy hated it just as much as Natasha, but she didn't blame the spy for her actions. It was just, now, she was left with nothing.

"You know, the offer is still on the table." Natasha had told her as the two had cleared the last of the files from the remaining S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters in the last New York location. It was the only word of discussion shared between the two women so far, and Bellamy didn't need to ask what offer she was referring to, but still had to suppress the urge of sending the spy a very pointed look.

"You know what my answer is."

"I was hoping it would have changed." Natasha raised a hopeful eyebrow as she glanced at her. Bellamy stared at her evenly. "Even Maria Hill gave in and took an interview with Stark Industries; if you don't take my offer I'm sure Tony'll just move her into that spot."

"Yes, Maria Hill would need to give in, considering her predicament. Despite my history being aired to the general public, I don't exactly have any reason to go into hiding. I don't have any regrets in terms of my service and personal actions." Natasha could've taken it as a personal jab, maybe she did, but her expression didn't explicitly change—it never did, and neither did Bellamy's, perhaps the reason for their often times uncomfortable discussions.

"We don't know each other extremely well, but I always assumed you wanted to be everything but a public figure. That you would be on the same side of justice. Safety." Natasha's eyes prodded her as she gave her a small pursed lip half-smile. "It's what I want, at least. We've both been left with nothing."

"They do say it's wrong to assume." She murmured, albeit a bit uncomfortable when confronted with the fact of the situation. Natasha and Steve were protected under the blanket of being an Avenger. If she were to accept and join, she would be too, but as tempting as it was, she knew it would be like buying shoes in the wrong size. Maybe now she understood them just a little bit better, but she wasn't sure if she agreed with the means of achieving their ultimate shared goals. "I'm always on the side of justice."

Natasha hmmed underneath her breath. "So, you'll be joining Fury." Bellamy gave her a forced smile.

"So, you go ahead and assume anyway." For a moment they stood facing each other, waiting for the other to react. Several level one agents stopped and glanced their way in passing; it must have appeared as though they were having some kind of stand-off. "You and I both know we have to lay low right now, agent. Whether I'm with Fury, or not, it's better that no one knows." Natasha smirked at her.

"I think you answered my question anyways." Bellamy stared after the redhead as she padded away, carrying three file boxes with ease.

"Agent Romanoff," She called, and Natasha stopped, turning back already wearing a knowing half-smirk. Bellamy wore a face of no expression as she spoke, "you're dismissed; I can clear the rest of the files here." Her half-smirk disappeared, and Bellamy turned away.

Back where all the physical files were, she dismissed the few former level 1 agents and made sure they had left before she headed where she knew the B's were kept. Where "Burke" was supposed to be, she only found her brother's name, along with her mother's. Her own file, and her father's—her intended loot—were missing. She frowned to herself and double checked the box before sighing. After-all, what could she do now?

She stood wondering, rhetorically, of course, before an answer actually struck her. Pierce and his cutting words, him telling her how her family was cursed from the Winter Soldier. Quickly, she went to the box above, categorized to hold files starting with Ba-Bl, looking and finding the file marked as "Barnes, James B.".

Natasha wasn't the only one throwing persuasion tactics her way, but it was harder to turn down the man that fought so hard to protect her.

"You got through to him?" Steve repeated, always seeming to loop back to the same point of conversation with her. As soon as he was able to leave the hospital he'd requested they meet at the grimy Ideal Federal Savings Banks, the facility where HYDRA had kept her and the Winter Soldier hostage. With him, he had Sam Wilson, who stood next to Bellamy with his arms crossed, eyes disgusted no matter where they landed in the room.

Everything was still the same in the building, except for the abandonment of the terrorist organization that had once occupied it. Steve was walking in circles in the area, looking at every corner with his sharp eyes. She kept her eyes firmly on him; she'd seen enough of the dingy room and didn't want any reminder of her time spent here.

"Considering the events that unfolded, I would say all evidence points tentatively to a yes."

"What did you say to him?" She sighed lightly at his question. He finally looked at her, and frowned a bit apologetically. "I'm sorry, Burke. I know this must be hard for you. I've heard it before, but this is important—I've got to get it right. If you did manage to get through to him that means you're key in maybe helping me bring him back and make him remember what HYDRA made him forget." Steve was so optimistic, she and Sam both knew it with their brief shared glance, but she humored him anyways.

"I gave him a brief rundown of his life. Basic information, name, birth, hometown. I told him about you. I told him about me. About the world…he didn't say much. I don't know how much of it stuck." Steve said nothing, only looked around the room once more with a dark glower.

"He's still in there." He murmured determinedly. Sam shifted his weight, uncomfortable beside her, shadows of doubt on his face. Bellamy shrugged her shoulders lightly as Steve turned to her.

"You don't know how deep he's buried." It didn't seem to matter to Steve.

"I don't suppose I'll be able to change your mind either." He continued, looking at her hopefully, despite the way his statement confirmed what they both already knew.

"I see you've talked with Agent Romanoff. Did you play rock, paper, scissors to see who would talk first?"

"You're not exactly agents, anymore, Burke." She crossed her arms and avoided his gaze, hating that it was almost impossible to avoid the facts, whether they were presented from herself or the others.

"Thank you, Captain. It's always good to be reminded of my sudden unemployment." She muttered wryly.

"Sorry." He hardly seemed bother with her sarcasm, perhaps he was used to it at this point. No, she could tell from his eyes he just didn't have the capacity to care about trivial things; his mind was in mission mode and this was perhaps one of his most important to date.

"Unemployed agent or not, we could use another person to get this done." Sam spoke up. "One person alone isn't going to find him. Maybe with you we can be more efficient." She pursed her lips, knowing that Sam was only trying for Steve's sake. Still, she said nothing, and Steve must've taken her silence for something else.

"I know what I'm asking." He began, taking a breath as though he could feel his own words' weight. "I know…the last thing you'd want to do right now is look for a murderer." He locked eyes with her sincerely. "But I know you also know…that he isn't guilty for his crimes." She still said nothing, and he looked down. "Or…maybe you think he is. Either way, I'm going after him. I need to. I won't be able to rest until I find him. Knowing he's out there right now, lost…" Steve shook his head, his eyes breaking painfully before settling on hers, as if he needed something to focus on. And focus they did; his blue eyes cleared and hardened. For the first time, she looked to the room instead of at him. He spoke up quickly, seemingly sensing her discomfort. "Of course, I'd understand if you didn't want anything more to do with this line of work. In fact, if you could find more happiness walking away, well…I'd envy you." He gave her a soft reassuring smile.

She nearly broke, she nearly agreed, she nearly laughed at the thought of her walking away and wondered if Steve had learned anything about her at all. "I just need some time, Steve. Maybe in the future—"

"Say no more." He told her and gave her a nod in agreement. "I just thought it was worth a shot." Though he remained composed, a sigh still escaped his lips and his furrowed eyebrows betrayed his disappointment. "Maybe in the future, then…can I ask one more thing?" She nodded her head silently as Steve's eyes scanned the room once more. "If you find anything, hear anything, see anything…will you call me?"

Bellamy could've told him at that very second underneath a wooden floorboard in her kitchen underneath her dining table sat a thick Soviet file entitled Зимний солдат, so thick it would likely take her days, weeks, to read, comprehend, and engrave in her head. She could've told him that said file had been retrieved from the very room they currently stood, that she had also found and retrieved SHIELD's last known file on Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes just days prior after cleaning out the headquarters. But she gave him a small smile instead.

"Of course, Steve."

She wasn't sure if it was harder for herself or Steve, looking for a person or a piece of information from the past. Ever since she'd gotten her hands on The Winder's Soldier's file, she'd spent her time reading, trying to understand…and more importantly, searching. It never went into mission details, those were brief, but details of his life? A story of pity; she felt an odd rage and seeing the wrongdoing done upon him, a rage so strong she often had to remind herself fiercely this was still the man who had assassinated her brother, remind herself of what she was searching for.

She didn't expect Fury to come to her, with a request of his own nonetheless, and he was perhaps the hardest to turn down. Fury, the man who reminded her so much of her father, albeit rougher around the edges and with one less eye. It was almost encoded in her veins at this point to never let this man down.

"Do you know what life has in store for you next, agent?" He asked her as he sat in her apartment. He was the only other person in her life who knew where she lived, nobody else at S.H.I.E.L.D. knew. That secret, thankfully, had remained a secret.

"Is that what I am still?" She had hesitated before she asked. A serious question, a real question she couldn't answer. If she wasn't, what else could she be? There was nothing else she could ever see herself being, but an agent.

Fury stared at her calmly, waiting, before he answered. "Once an agent, always an agent. More importantly, Bellamy, I consider you an ally. One of my most trusted, at that. A friend." His voice was so heavy with meaning it almost made her uneasy, remembering how he'd faked his own death and yet told her nothing of it. It took her a moment to remember they were in the comfort of her living space. She took in the familiar features of her living space, eyes resting on an old clicking clock. Tick, tick. It calmed her breathing.

"That must be why you came."

"Oh, you already know?" He cracked a grin, leaning forward in her old grandmother's armchair. She returned a small smile. "Well, indeed, I come to you asking a favor…as a friend. As agents." He stood. "I want you to come to Europe with me. Not every HYDRA base was knocked down. Intelligence tells us there are more than we thought, and they're all well-hidden. And I know, it's personal for you." She swallowed.

"Friends, as far as I know, tell each other the truth." She stood and turned to face him squarely. "Do you know I still, to this day, don't know the details of my father's death?" He stared at her evenly. "If I hadn't been with Bronson the day of his death, would I have known the details about that?"

"And those details haunt you to this day. You know, normal people take the elevator rather than the stairs every day." She narrowed her eyes.

"Are you suggesting I can't handle it? You couldn't tell me the Winter Solider killed him too? You couldn't even tell me that, but Alexander Pierce could while I was locked in a cell?" She stopped herself as she raised her voice, feeling her lips quiver before avoiding his gaze, shamed that she proved him right.

"Sometimes, you don't need to know the details." He told her with stern gentleness. "They keep you from healing. It's better to focus on the bare essentials, such as it being HYDRA's doing. Come to Europe with me, Bellamy."

"But you know the truth." She whispered. She took his silence as an answer and smirked angrily. "Can you at least, please, be honest with me about one thing, or are you incapable of that?" He didn't answer, and she paused, before she went on. "Do you regret making me your Deputy?" Her voice was soft in hesitance, and a small trickle of fret filled her chest as she looked to him and waited, desperately, for his response.

"Regretting anything is pointless, Bellamy."

"Can't you just give me a goddamn straight answer for once?" He gave her a small smile.

"Diplomacy is high on the required skill set for this occupation." They stood staring at each other silently.

"I'm afraid I'm no longer employed, therefore skills such as diplomacy are no longer needed; the answer is no, Nick. I'm not going with you." He frowned directly for the first time.

"What will you do?" She gave him a sardonic smile as she walked to her door and opened it for him, standing beside it.

"I'll figure it out."