I finally allow myself a sigh of relief once I have returned to my chambers. I know after my recent conversation with Beast that Sybella will be safe, and not returning to the hellhole Nantes has become. So great is my relief that I fail to notice the figure in the chair until it moves towards me. My hands begin to go for the knives at my wrist when I recognize the piercing grey eyes.
"I thought we had gotten past that," he says a smile playing around his lips.
"When one consorts with assassins, one must expect to dance along the edge of a knife once or twice," I tell him whilst attempting not to smile. I don't believe I succeed.
Slowly the ghosts of old conversations fade and Duval becomes more serious. "Have you considered it?" he asks.
I need no clarification. I know it refers to his marriage proposal that he gave me some weeks ago. "I have," I say slowly. He says nothing and waits patiently. I take his hand and lead him to the chairs by the fire. "Duval, you know that I have many secrets. Some you know, some you do not. I would have you know all of them before I agree to your marriage proposal."
He smiles with understanding and takes my hand. "As you wish my lady."
I take a breath to ground myself. "I am immune to poisons and have the ability to draw poisons from a person using my skin," I begin.
"I had suspected," he says with no small amount of irony. I glare at him for interrupting despite the fact that my glare has no heat. He gestures for me to continue.
"I am not noble born, I am the daughter of a turnip farmer. The man that we saw in the fields that day in St. Lyphard is my father." Duval frowns at this but says nothing. "He ordered my mother get a potion from the herbwitch in our village to expel me from her womb. It didn't work and left the scar on my back. My father was not forgiving or understanding, and he liked to use his fists. The people of the village were not much better. My elder sister ran away with a merchant when I was eleven. My mother ran away with Death when I was nine. Then when I was fourteen, my father tricked the local pig farmer into marrying me." I see Duval's eyes narrow at that. "The marriage was annulled while I was at the convent. I had hoped that Guillo would be better than my father. But he was worse. With his big meaty hands, and piggy little eyes, and hot rancid breath-"
"Ismae!" Duval says grabbing my shoulders. Then I realize how fast my breathing has become and how blurry my eyes are.
I take a slow and deep breath and calm down. "I am fine," I say. His eyes search mine, full of concern, fury, protectiveness, and what I think could be love. He finally nods slowly. He does not tell me I don't have to continue because he knows I do. For myself. "When Guillo saw my scar he knew he had been duped and left me broken and battered in the cellar while he went to find someone who would get rid of me. That's how the hedge priest found me. He loaded me into his cart and took me to another priest, and another and another until I arrived at the convent."
"Where your hatred of men was encouraged," Duval says softly.
"Yes."
"You are amazing."
My head snaps up at that. After all I have told him he thinks I'm amazing? He must read the incredulity in my face because he smiles. Tis a sad smile. "You were so strong in your childhood to have survived that torment. And then you have the strength and bravery to care for me despite your hatred and fear. You are amazing Ismae."
His words cause tears to spring to my eyes again. "How could you love me?" I ask him.
He cradles my head in his hands and brushes my tears away so gently. "Because you are strong, and beautiful, and determined, and dedicated, and caring, and merciful, and a hundred other things. I think the better question is how can you love me, despite all that you have been through?"
"I trust you." It dawns on me in that moment. Not only do I love Duval. I trust him. Completely. With my body, my life, my past, my future, my secrets, and my heart. Suddenly my fear of being at another man's mercy because of marriage mean nothing. "Yes," I say.
Duval looks at me confused.
"Yes, I'll marry you!" I laugh.
He blinks once more with a confused look before his faces splits into the largest smile I have ever seen. "Truly?" he asks.
"Yes, you dolt!" I say still laughing. My laughter is suddenly cut off by his lips on mine but I welcome them. I will always welcome him.