To the little weasel oh sorry I mean boy, I see that you want to date my little girl. Before you do that we have to go over a few rules first. If you follow the rules we'll get along just fine, if you don't...things won't end well for you. Let's begin shall we.

1. I make the rules.

You will follow my rules when you are with my daughter. Don't like it? Don't go out with her.

2. Keep all body parts to yourself.

If you wish to date my little girl the only body holding there will be is hand holding. Nothing more, nothing less. If you're grubby little hands touch anything there not suppose to first I will break both your arms then my friend Steve will chop your hands off.

3. Don't lie to me because I'll find out.

One thing you must know about me is I'm a cop, what I hate the most is when someone lies to me. If you think you can lie to me think again, see the last person who lied to me got a couple hits.

4. You make her cry I'll make you cry.

Because you make my little girl happy I will allow you to go out with her but if I ever see her come home crying and it was because of you, I will make you cry harder.

5. Understand this, I don't like you.

You may be going out with my little girl that doesn't mean I have to like you. I will however tolerate you for the time being.

Still with me? Great.

6. Let's talk about one thing, sex.

I know that teenagers do that but if I ever find out that you did that with Grace, I will find you and cut off your manhood. If you want to keep that then keep your manhood away from my little girl.

7. You must dress appropriately.

When taking Grace out your clothes must not sag they must be on very tightly, if you need help adjusting my friend Steve can help you with his electric nail gun.

8. You will come to the door to pick Grace up.

When you come to pick her up you will get out of your car come inside, wait patiently for Grace while waiting me along with my friends Steve and Chin will be talking to you. If you can't wait no more than ten minute then go on the date alone or go home.

9. Be home on time.

If you don't have my daughter home before her curfew I will come and find you, don't make me come and find you because you will not like what I do. Just get my daughter home safely and on time. When you bring her home I will wait on the porch while cleaning and fixing my gun

10. Be afraid.

I'm one of the people you should be very afraid when it comes to my little girl. When it comes to her I will always be around. She has been and always will be my princess. I'm the one she comes to when she's scared or upset. Also if you hurt my daughter you'll have to deal with my friends Steve and Chin, they don't like you either.

11. I'm everywhere.

I'll be watching you when you least expect it. Whenever you turn around just ask yourself, is he watching me? Where is he? You may never see me but I'll always see you.

12. Whatever you do to her I'll do to you.

If you cause my princess any kind of pain you'll know what that feels like when I do it to you then once I'm finished my friends will want a word with you.

13. If this was unclear see rule #1 for clarification.

Now that we have finished that, if you still wish to date my little girl just go over these rules. Know them, learn them, love them. If any of these rules gets broken I will hunt you down across this Island and when I find you, you will find out the consequences for breaking a rule. Understand? Great.