Life Tutor

Awkwardness, now this is new. They've interacted for months and this is the first time their conversation has been strained or uncomfortable. But what else can it be given the subject. Why is he upsetting the status quo, saying things she wants to hear, things she longs to hear, things she only allows herself imagine.

Fitz is Olivia's chemistry tutor. She saw his flyer on a message board in the chem building and signed up for Tuesday nights at the beginning of the semester. Figuring out covalent bonds, radioactive decay and memorizing the atomic number of the elements in the periodic table bores her to no end. Academically she excels at every subject except chemistry. Since high school, she has had a mental block when it comes to the subject despite her best efforts to overcome her deficiency. For god's sake, she tutored others in calculus, trig and physics. She can't understand why chemistry presents such a problem but she's never allowed this shortcoming to prevent her from seeking help. For her pride and ego take a backseat to maintaining her academic excellence.

Conventional wisdom says you should study in a quiet place designated for studying. Fitz never practiced conventional tutoring techniques. He always tailored his tutoring methodology to the individual student, meaning sometimes he met students in the library, a cafe or even the park. He wants his students to equate studying with a relaxed, non-intimidating environment. Olivia initially preferred the comfort of her apartment, later after a visit to Fitz's apartment to pickup lecture notes and practice exams she switched to the study in his apartment. The study is where her feelings for Fitz began to change. It was quiet, inviting, intimate, a special place of refuge because he only tutored her there. It was where tutoring became secondary to sharing dreams, philosophical discussions, revealing idiosyncrasies, eating Cheetos with barbecue sauce and watching old sitcoms. Olivia felt more relaxed and content in his study than she did anywhere else. Fitz felt like home.

"What do you want from me Fitz!"

"I want you Olivia more than anything I've ever wanted. Your the unexpected life I never knew I was waiting for. I had a plan in my head, finish undergrad, then grad school, become a professor, publish, marry, publish and retire. You've blown that mediocre vision to smithereens. With you I see not only becoming a professor but a man in love with an incredible woman who makes every day an adventure and every second of my life better than the last. I don't see vacations attending symposiums, I see walks on beaches, blankets and fireplaces, and arguments over who got us lost on road trips. Olivia I see spontaneity and a life lived absent regrets."

"Olivia I never thought tutoring you in chemistry would be a lesson in opening my heart. So my answer is you Olivia Pope, I want you, my love and life tutor."

Gathering her books Olivia prepares to leave. "Fitz I'm happy you've discovered there's more to life than academics. I have to go." She heads toward the door. She needs to be free before she can be with him. Ending things with her boyfriend is a must do, straddling the fence is not her way.

"Olivia did you hear what I said. I want you. I want a life with you. You seriously have nothing to say to me except you're happy I've found there's more to life than academics." A confluence of emotions stir inside him, confusion, fear, anxiety, dejection. She doesn't want him. She has no feelings for him.

"I heard you Fitz. I'm in a relationship, what do you expect me say." Fitz goes to her, places his hand on the nape of her neck, and draws her close. He rubs his nose along the bridge of hers and kisses her softly. Weeks of stolen glances, brief intensional touches and off topic talks on anything and everything under the sun to prolong their biweekly sessions have led to this make or break moment.

"Say the words Olivia, tell me what my heart wants to hear. I need to hear you say it, he whispers mildly worried. Tell me I'm not alone in these feelings."

She gazes up into his searching eyes. The intensity of his stare draws her in, it is piercing, pure, electrifying. She wants nothing more than to convey the feeling is mutual, yet words fail her, all she can muster is a confirming action. Books crash to the floor, hands interlock at his nape and an anxious mouth captures his lips. She hungrily sucks his bottom lip, then moves to his upper lip. She sucks and sucks until they're both dizzy. Desiring more, their tongues demand greater access, a deeper taste of the other. His hands travel the curves and mounds of her body, desperate to feel all of her. Then just as quick as passion took over, it stops as Olivia pushes Fitz away, her body trembling, gasping for air. The impetuous soul stirring kiss confirms what she's known for weeks, too afraid to admit. She wants Fitz as much as he wants her but she's not free.

Olivia is tied to a man she feels emotionally indebted to, a boyfriend of circumstance. He saved her from a sexual assault and has been by her side keeping her safe ever since. She's not in love with the man, she feels obligated to him. There is no passion, never has been and frankly, the thought of a future with him beyond graduation has never crossed her mind. All debts have a fixed term, right? What's a reasonable term for saving someone from an assault? Shouldn't gratitude or gratefulness be sufficient repayment?

Is it fair to ask Fitz to wait for her? No, no, she's not someone who plays games or strings a person along because it is convenient. Better to rip off the bandage so fresh air can help heal the wound. No, it's time to break out the "it's not you it's me speech.

Olivia squats to pick up her books. She ducks pass Fitz to exit. But before walking out the door she turns to him.

"Fitz I think I'm good for finals. Thank you, you're a great tutor." And with that, Olivia walks out the door without another glance.

Fitz stands glued in place, dazed and confused. Her curt dismissal is a knife through his heart.

Days goes by without any communication from Olivia. She's not returning his phone calls or texts. Was the kiss a bone she threw to let him down easy. Did he misread their time together? On the fifth day she sends him text inviting him to her birthday party. Nothing else in the text, no hi hello how are you, nothing. A simple generic invitation. What does it mean? Discourage by the simple cordial text, he decides to RSVP anyway. Attending will at least settle in his mind where he stands with her. Continuing to wallow in an undefined relationship state is not something he's willing to do.

Uproarious laughter spills unto the street as semi-drunken patrons exit O'Malley's on 5th. The nicotine addicted stand outside the popular bar puffing away creating floating smoke clouds that dissipate under muted street lamp lights and anonymous silhouettes flicker in the orange embers of lit cigarettes. Fitz, gift box in hand, pushes through the happy crowd on his way to the reserved section in the back of the bar. The room, normally used for karaoke is packed like the rest of the bar. Tonight marks the official start of winter break and Olivia Pope's friends are throwing her a birthday party.

"Hey super-genius, glad you could make it. Olivia will be happy to see you. She's been looking for you, she did really well on her exam." Fitz smiles at the lively red head and hands her Olivia's gift.

Always modest about his intelligence, he gives all the credit to Olivia. "She worked hard, I expected nothing less."

"She's around here somewhere. It's an open bar for beer and tequila anything else is on your tab. Food is to right, restrooms are to the left and the karaoke will start in about 30 minutes. Now get in there and enjoy yourself." Abby gently nudges him forward.

Twenty minutes later Abby sees Olivia's boyfriend arrive with his two friends, a group she's dubbed the moronic trio.

"Nice of you to finally show up to your girlfriend's birthday party. Did your puny contingent of vapid walk of shame wannabes find another shiny object to hold their attention?"

Abby hated Jake with a passion and took every opportunity to let him know it. For the life of her, she couldn't understand what Olivia saw in him or why she stayed with him. If you looked up conceited in the dictionary his picture would be there. He was rude, crude and lewd as the saying goes.

"Always a pleasure to see you Abby. Rip of the heads off and suck the blood of any bats lately?"

"One of these days Olivia is going to wise up and dump your arrogant dumb ass."

"Maybe but today is not that day." Little did he know, today was indeed the day.

Tiring of his presence, Abby she snipes, "Where's your gift?"

"You're looking at it."

"Great, now I can cheap on top of all your other many faults."

Jake grabs his crouch. "Liv will tell you, I'm the gift that keeps on giving."

Abby scoffs, and mumbles under her breath, "No you prove the best gifts don't come in small packages".

Olivia once described Jake's penis in terms of types of bread. He was by no means a baguette, long and thick or even close to one of those soft breadsticks you get from the Olive Garden. No Jake's dick was more a pretzel bite, small, plump with specks of coarse salt instead of ridges. Olivia said the first time she saw it , it freaked her out. So rather than show her aversion to his graininess, she makes him put on a condom the minute his stick starts to rise so she doesn't have to look at it. Olivia and Jake have been together two years and had sex exactly four times, his birthdays and their anniversary. She always spends her birthday with her family and he's never questioned her preference to do so. The rest of time, she blames her traumatic experience for her sexual reticence. She also satisfies him with the occasional hand job because lip action on his thing is a nonstarter.

"What'cha say red?"

"It's Abby slick and nothing. Please leave my presence, I feel my IQ lowering the longer you stand near me."

Jake, his lackey buddies Greg and Cliff enter the room as if they own the place. Jake greets a few people before noticing Olivia is near the karaoke stage talking to Fitz. She's smiling from ear to ear, touching his arm, laughing at whatever nerdy comment he's making. What the fuck is he doing? Fitz leans down to whisper in Olivia's ear. A shy smile spreads across her face. He touches her arm and she nods in agreement. What the fuck is going on? Who does this dude think he is? Olivia is mine until I say otherwise. Why is she looking at him like that? Jake swaggers over, chest out, shoulders back, ready to remind Olivia who she belongs to.

"I'm so glad you made it. Jake's head and chest inflate. Olivia takes Fitz by the hand. Oh Jake, I didn't see you. She pecks him on the cheek. I going to introduce Fitz to a few people, want to come with?"

"No you go ahead, I want to mingle."

"Okay, I'll be back soon." She pecks his cheek again. Fitz ignores Jake from the moment Olivia takes his hand. He walks off with Olivia never turning back to acknowledge Jake at all.

Jake is fuming, Fitz just made his hit list. Who the hell does he think he is waltzing off with his girlfriend.

"The professor has crossed the line. Time we teach this guy a lesson. He needs to learn the consequences of trying to pilfer what's mine."

"What do you want to do?" Greg the dumbest of the group derives pleasure from brawling, he's always up for one of Jake's juvenile schemes.

"The second Olivia's back is turned we'll take the professor out back for a tutorial.

"Yeah, all right, yeah", his two sophomoric buddies agree rubbing their hands together in anticipation. The three are so consumed with the idea of hurting Fitz they are too engaged to notice Harrison and Huck are within earshot of them. Harrison turns to Huck and nods. The two from that point on keep close watch on Jake and company.

"Jake I have to hand it to you the way you set Olivia up was nothing less than genius," Cliff brown noses.

"It was brilliant I must admit. That day she turned me down cold in front of red and her other smarmy friends, I promised myself I'd make eat her words and eager to be my girlfriend."

Flashback

Olivia, Abby, Harrison and Huck are seated on blankets near one the four fire pits reserved for Abby's annual clambake. Everyone is talking their usual smack to one another, laughing and having a good time. They're a close knit group that has been together since middle school. Olivia reaches into the cooler next to her, when she lowers the lid she's surprised by a pair legs topped by tan cargo shorts. She looks up and staring down at her with a cheesy smile is Jake Ballard the university's latest star quarterback.

"Olivia, Olivia's friends," he greets. Not waiting for an invitation, Jake and his friend Cliff commandeer a vacant blanket on the other side of the fire pit. "Olivia this a pleasant surprise. We seem to keep running into one another. It must be fate. What'da you say we accept these coincidences as our cue to go out on a real date."

"Look Jake, you seem like a nice guy and I'm faltered you're interested in me. I really am. But I have to be honest with you, I not interested in dating you. I don't date jocks, never have, never will. So please save both me and you the headache of an awkward series of pointless encounters where you try to wear me down with playbook charm and stalker persistence."

"Olivia don't lump me in with your typical jock types. My I IQ exceeds moron level and I converse on more than sports trivia, cartoons and which bar has the best hot wings."

Olivia chuckles.

"See I made you laugh."

"One laugh does not a relationship make. Jake your reputation precedes you. There are plenty of girls out there who'd be ecstatic to gain your attention. Many of whom I hear you've already given the pleasure of your company. I can almost guarantee there are several females here eager to make your acquaintance."

"Trouble is Olivia you're the only female here I want to get acquainted with, he smirks with overblown confidence."

Olivia shakes her head, "Jake not to be…."

Abby the self appointed protector of their closed group pipes in, "Meaning in legal terms Mr. Ballard, cease and desist or in layman' terms, leave her alone and don't waste your time. When it comes to Olivia, you are a nonstarter, never will be a contender, and your only hope is if hell freezes over."

"Abby," Olivia shushes. Jake holds his hands up in surrender.

"Well I guess there is nothing more to say," Jake admits.

"Got that right," Abby snaps.

"Jake I'm really sorry. Olivia extends her hand, "Friends?"

Jake shakes her hand. "Friends," he agrees seemingly with acceptance.

Later that night Jake hatches a plan to get Olivia Pope and give the finger Abby.

End flashback

"Well thanks to you two I got the girl. The staged attack with me as her rescuer closed the deal. Cliff you roughed her just enough and Greg your fake punches could fool an expert."

"Man your performance was Oscar worthy and you rubbing the fate thing and being more than a jock in her face was poetic. She ate it up."

"Yeah I'm her knight in shining armor."

"And the professor's nightmare."

The three are so consumed with the idea of hurting Fitz they are too engaged to notice Harrison and Huck are within earshot of them. Harrison turns to Huck and nods. Huck and Harrison were livid. The attack took place more more than two years ago one night when Olivia was walking home from the library. The attackers slapped her around, held a knife to her throat, snatched her backpack off her shoulder and cut it open saying they wanted her wallet. Jake came out of nowhere punched the guy with the knife in the nose, grabbed the knife and jabbed it into the guy's shoulder, then fought off the other attacker. Olivia was distraught for weeks. Jake came by every day to check on her and lend her support. Now her two close friends know it was a sick ploy to win her affections.

The two plan to watch Fitz's back for remainder of the evening and rain down justice on the insufferable trio. Huck and Harrison decide to go to tell Abby and some other friends what they've discovered.

Olivia is taking longer than expected introducing Fitz around. In the meantime, Jake notices Abby is no longer at the gift table. "Wait here", he instructions his companions. He scans the room to make sure no one is looking in his direction. One by one he checks the presents. When he finds the one from Fitz he attempts to peel off the tag. The gift wrap begins to tear forcing him to think fast. He sees the extra gift tags Abby has on the table along with a black sharpie. Luckily the tag is bigger than Fitz's gift tag allowing Jake to use the larger tag to cover Fitz's. Jake is positive whatever Fitz bought Olivia is expensive because Fitz comes from money.

Olivia and Fitz part company. She makes her way to the karaoke stage and leafs through the song selections. Her brief time with Fitz has her in the mood to tell him how she really feels about him through song. She refuses to string him along a second longer, she wants him to know where he stands in her heart. Olivia is pretty sure Jake is conscious her feelings for him have changed. She's tried to tell him several times she wants to end their relationship but he always finds a reason to leave before she can tell him or change the subject. Convinced the subtle approach will not work, she opts for the in your face technic. When she finally finds the song she's looking for she takes the wireless mic from the stand and begins her sultry rendition.

Fitz goes to the bar to order a drink. The bartender hands him a beer and Fitz drops a couple of bucks in the tip jar. When he turns Jake is inches away from him glowering with what he guesses is supposed to be his intimidating face. Fitz returns his scowl with a deadpan expression.

"What are you doing here professor dipshit?" Jake growls moving aggressively toward Fitz while his hanger-on buddies keep aa respectable distance.

Fitz looks at him unimpressed, debating whether to answer or ignore the question.

"Have you suddenly gone deaf?" Jake pokes Fitz in the chest.

Fitz looks down at Jake's finger still poking in his chest. He knocks it away and steps closer to Jake, almost close enough to be chest to chest. "Don't ever touch me again. I'm here because Olivia invited me, not that it's any of your business."

Jake stays put, looking Fitz in the eyes. "Anything having to do with Olivia is my business. Olivia is mine, I decide who comes and goes in her life and I've decided you need to go."

Fitz doesn't flinch. He's not intimidated by Jake or his ever present peabrain entourage. Amused by the absurdity of Jake's declaration, he starts to laugh. He laughs so hard tears form. He quickly regains his composure sobered by the befuddled looks on Jake and company's faces.

Jake is not amused, "What's so funny asshole?"

Wiping the tears from his eyes Fitz sets his beer on the bar. "Sorry I'm trying to figure out if you honestly believe what you just said and whether you've informed Olivia of this bullshit. Olivia is not the type of woman who lets anyone control her."

"How would you know? Besides the great thing about being in control is having the power over others who have no idea they're being controlled. Olivia thinks she's strong and independent but she's like every other woman she requires a gentle hand to keep her in her place."

With furrowed brow, Fitz asks, "And what place would that be?"

Before Jake can answer, Olivia starts singing to the crowd. Fitz leaves Jake mid sentence to make his way to the front of the stage.

Olivia stares out at the crowd smiling at her friends. Olivia begins the song scanning her audience making flirty eye contact with a few friends. Just before the refrain she sees Fitz. The moment their eyes connect he becomes her singular focus. Every word of the song is meant for him. Every emotive sway and expressive gesture is for him. Her mind is screaming what are you doing? Jake, remember him, he's your boyfriend and he's here. But it's useless her heart and body are enslaved to Fitz's presence. She can't look away even if she tried. Months of emotional denial evaporate in a glance and a smile. That crooked grin of his she finds so appealing emits an irresistible signal she can't ignore.

Fitz is in front of her completely mesmerized. Jake and crew also stand next to the stage, right next to Fitz. The words of the song go straight to Fitz's heart.

Share my life, take me for what I am

'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you

Take my love, I'll never ask for too much

Just all that you are and everything that you do

I don't really need to look very much further

I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow

I won't hold it back again, this passion inside

Can't run from myself

There's nowhere to hide

Jake pivots his attention back and forth between looking at Olivia and glaring at Fitz.

Don't make me close one more door

I don't wanna hurt anymore

Stay in my arms if you dare

Or must I imagine you there

Don't walk away from me...

I have nothing, nothing, nothing

If I don't have you, you, you, you, you.

Olivia moves center stage not needing the teleprompter, having memorized the words long ago. When their eyes meet, Fitz's heart races and the joy he feels every time he's with Olivia displaces any reservations he has.

You see through right to the heart of me

You break down my walls with the strength of your love

I never knew love like I've known it with you

Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

I don't really need to look very much further

I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow

I won't hold it back again, this passion inside

I can't run from myself

There's nowhere to hide

Your love I'll remember forever

Don't make me close one more door

I don't wanna hurt anymore

Stay in my arms if you dare

Or must I imagine you there

Don't walk away from me...

I have nothing, nothing, nothing...

Don't make me close one more door

I don't wanna hurt anymore

Stay in my arms if you dare

Or must I imagine you there

Don't walk away from me, no.

Don't walk away from me

Don't you dare walk away from me

I have nothing, nothing, nothing

If I don't have you, you,

If I don't have you, oh, ooh, ooh.

"She sounds good man." Cliff comments.

"Yeah, she does." Jake smiles proudly convinced Olivia is singing to him.

The song ends, everyone claps, and Olivia takes a few bows, then invites others to take a turn.

Olivia steps down from the stage and makes her way over Fitz and Jake.

Jake moves in front of Fitz. "Babe that was awesome. I loved it and feel exactly the same way too." Catching her off-guard, he attempts a passionate kiss but it comes off awkward and sloppy.

Olivia looks at Fitz apologetically, then returns her attention to Jake. "Thank you Jake, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"How about you Fitzgerald, did you enjoy the song? The way she says his name is breathy, seductive, instantly making his pants tighten.

"I have to say Ms. Pope, if you ever choose to forgo your aspirations in jurisprudence, I'm sure you will have considerable success as a soulful songstress." Olivia blushes and Jake fumes.

Abby rushes over. "Liv can I talk to you for minute. You boys don't mind if I steal her away for a few." Abby doesn't wait for a response, she simply drags Olivia away.

Jake jumps in front of Fitz. "Look Professor dipshit, stay away from my girlfriend. Olivia is mine and trust me you don't want to cross me. I will fuck up anyone who tries to take her away from me."

"Really? What if she no longer wants to be with you? What then?" , Fitz asks standing nose to nose to Jake. Will you accept her decision or will you be arrogant prick with an eggshell ego who cannot accept an amicable breakup? Will you try to hold onto her by any means necessary?"

"Trust me Grant Olivia isn't going anywhere, nor does she want to be with anyone except me. Olivia will be my girlfriend until I say otherwise."

"Do you hear yourself? Until you say otherwise? Olivia is not some toy you keep around until you tire of it. She's not some temporary possession you can cast off once you find something else to your liking. Olivia is a person. She is strong, intelligent, talented, beautiful, loving, caring and a priceless treasure. Anyone lucky enough to be within her sphere of influence knows it is an absolute honor and privilege to have her in their life. You are a crass, undeserving son of a bitch. You have no idea who Olivia the person is, do you? She's just a trophy, a status symbol to you."

"Oh I know the Olivia the person, every each of her," he smirks.

Fitz shakes his head, "Like I said a crass son of a bitch." Fitz turns to walk away, Jake grabs him by the arm and spins him around.

Abby tells Olivia everything Harrison and Huck told her. Olivia covers her mouth, nausea, shame and anger grip her. How could she have been so blind? Why did she ignore her gut? Fighting back tears and not wanting to alert Jake or his friends that something is wrong she keeps back to them.

"I'm sorry honey to ruin your birthday but I couldn't let that bastard get away with his scheme a second longer."

"No Abby you've given me the perfect gift, freedom. To think I've been agonizing over how to break up with him. Trying to think of a way to let him down easy. What a fucking crock of wasted energy." Olivia's anger continues to build, all she can think of is grabbing a knife and cut out Jake's heart.

"What do you want to do? Break a beer bottle and shove it up his rectum? Clobber him over the head with a metal bar stool? Take him outside and let everyone exact a pound of flesh? You know your friends will support whatever decision you make. Our only request is whatever the plan turns out to be that it involve a great deal of pain and suffering on Jake's part." Olivia smiles, touched by her friends support and mutual desire to kick Jake's worthless ass.

"Oh and don't worry about Fitz, Huck and Harrison have his back."

"Jake Ballard is going to pay and pay dearly," Olivia says, her tone is menacing, resolute, brooking no room for argument or mercy. She turns around to face the disgusting sleazebag with a fake enamored smile. Noticing his tight grip on Fitz's arm, her smiles quickly changes to a questioning glare.

Cliff surreptitiously elbows Jake. "Cool it man, Olivia is looking over here with a frown on her face." Jake quickly fakes a laugh and pats Fitz on the back.

Lips pursed, Jake grits out, "Turn around and smile professor, we wouldn't want Olivia to think we're not getting along. No telling how I'd have to ease her distress. I may need to firmly alleviate her concerns."

"Yeah, alleviate her concerns," Greg repeats like a damn hyena.

"Muther fucker, if you hurt her, I will kill you." Fitz uses his free hand to bend Jake's other hand backwards almost to the point of breaking it. Jake lets go of Fitz's arm with a shuddering grimace.

"Now let's all turn around with big smiles boys. Let's show Olivia what great buddies we've become," Fitz says as he winks at Olivia. She winks back and gives a little wave playing along with everyone's fake smiles.

Yes, Jake Ballard is going to pay and pay dearly very soon, she'll make sure of it.

AN: I hope all of you are well and staying safe. Big thank to any first responders out there taking a fanfiction break. I want you to know your service and dedication is an inspiration to us all. We know it's your job but your selflessness deserves continued acknowledgment. Some of you are even living in hotels rather than run the risk of exposing your families. So not only are you putting in long hours and caring for the sick, you're sacrificing time away with your loved ones. We all pray this ends soon.

I'm not a first responder or frontliner (grocery clerks, Costco or Sam's club agents etc.) but I am considered essential personnel which means long hours, being on call 24/7 just in case, and charter membership in zoom dot com. So I have little time to write or think about writing but I have been enjoying the story updates, although I have a lot of catching up to do.

Today I felt inspired to work on this two part one shot since it was half way done. Part 2 won't be nearly as long but hopefully put a satisfying end to story.

To the fanfiction writers who've been keeping our spirits up with their updates. Thank you. Sharing your talent with us is a wonderful and much appreciated distraction.

Until next time, be well, stay safe and check on your family and friends regularly.