Mikau: Welcome back for the final chapter! This was actually really fun to do, so I'm glad I drew kakashikrazy for the Secret Santa event. I hope you all enjoyed this story as well. This last chapter is where poor Haku-chan unpacks all of his baggage and begins to heal. It's a little heavy, but I think it discusses important topics. I hope you like it. Oh! But before we get started, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last time: Fireflower19, LadyShadow26, arccie, and Blue Waters 52!

Disclaimer: Please refer to all previous disclaimers for this story concerning how much I don't own the DCMK characters and learned everything I know about ice skating from internet research and anime.

…...

Chapter Four

"I've never really been interested in women," Saguru confessed and then waited, holding his breath for the backlash of disgust and rejection he was sure would come.

Kaito blinked, trying to make sense of where that declaration fit into the conversation they were supposed to be having about being unlovable and afraid of abandonment. Then it hit him, and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh. Is this where you tell me you're gay and that 'Kostya' is the Russian diminutive of Konstantin?" He smiled reproachfully. "Am I supposed to turn my back on you now, allowing you to prove to yourself that there really is no one out there capable of accepting you?"

Saguru's mouth dropped open slightly, his mind spinning out as it tried to catch up. "Y-Yes?"

Kaito's annoyance abated, and his tone softened. "Too bad. I personally prefer women, but I've started to notice over the past few years that certain guys can be kind of attractive too. Now that I've passed your test, can I come in so we can talk about all this?"

Saguru nodded, stepping aside and letting Kaito pass.

Kaito tipped off his shoes and helped himself to a pair of guest slippers, showing himself into the dorm room

Saguru followed suit in a bit of a daze, muttering, "But…back in high school, if I had told you then that I liked men, you would have freaked out and run away…wouldn't you?"

Kaito hummed thoughtfully as he took a seat on Saguru's couch, tucking his legs up underneath him. "Probably, but you shouldn't judge the person in front of you based on the immature child he was back in high school…at least, don't let that be the sole factor you base judgments upon. I've changed a lot since then."

Saguru nodded, going to the kitchenette to make hot chocolate for the both of them. "So…you don't mind my attraction to other men."

Kaito snorted. "I don't see what business it is of mine who you date…other than, as your friend, reserving the right to vet them, tell you they're scum, and beat the stuffing out of them if they hurt you. Why should I mind?"

Saguru shrugged halfheartedly, avoiding Kaito's gaze. "It makes a lot of men uncomfortable. They think I'm some depraved pervert, always thinking about sex and just waiting for my opportunity to attack them."

"We both know I'm the nympho around here," Kaito scoffed. "You're waiting for marriage."

Saguru looked up, studying Kaito's reaction once again. "But I don't make you uncomfortable?"

Kaito shook his head. "Please. You're a gentleman. Even if you did have feelings for me, you'd keep them to yourself until you were sure an advance from your side would be welcome. Even after that, you'd slowly start courting me. Being pushy isn't your style."

Saguru's cheeks warmed at the knowledge that Kaito had come to know him so well.

"Haku-chan, you and I don't have a problem, so relax, okay? All those ignorant jerks out there that think you're some degenerate just because you like guys are the ones that have something wrong with them, so try not to let it bug you, okay?" Kaito coaxed.

"Easier said than done," Saguru sighed.

"Yeah, I know." Kaito matched Saguru's weary tone exactly. "Just try to keep it in mind, though, that they're the ones with the problem. But now that we've got that out of the way, can we talk about the broader issue? I'm assuming your sexuality is a part of it, but…did you feeling like you were unlovable start with Kostya, or…?"

Saguru pursed his lips, shaking his head as he gathered his thoughts. "With my parents."

Kaito arched an eyebrow as Saguru came over to sit on the couch beside him, holding out a mug of hot chocolate for Kaito to take.

"I was an accident," Saguru explained, looking down into his cup. "My mother was only seventeen when she had me, and she only had me because my grandmother is a staunch Catholic. The marriage was my grandmother's doing as well, so, needless to say, my mother has always resented me. My father is a little better. Sometimes I think he's at least a bit fond of me, and sometimes I can tell he's proud of my achievements, but both of my parents have always been far more interested in their own careers than in parenthood, so…I grew up feeling like an unwanted nuisance. I still feel like an unwanted nuisance, and I've never found anyone capable of easing the guilt I feel over inconveniencing my father and ruining my mother's life."

"How would someone go about doing that?" Kaito gently intruded into Saguru's racing thoughts. "I mean, I just kind of want to punch your parents and make them apologize and hug you, and I want to tell you to stop feeling guilty that you're alive because you have the right to live. The world is better off with you in it than it would have been if you'd never existed, so…" Kaito bit his lip, reigning himself in. "But I know that me saying all that doesn't change the way you feel. I can't just talk you out of years of trauma, so…is there anything I can do to help you?"

Saguru looked up, meeting Kaito's gaze full of concern, sadness, and affection. "I've never really thought about it before. I do feel better, you saying all that, but…" He smiled bitterly. "I suppose what I want is someone to love me…to prove that just because my parents never cared for me, that doesn't mean that someone else can't."

"What about your Baaya?" Kaito suggested. "You two seem close. I always thought of her as your foster mother, but…is she not really…?" Kaito frowned.

Saguru shrugged and replied simply, "We pay her. Well. Don't get me wrong, she is a wonderful person, and she's always gone over and above the call of duty for me. I do believe there is some genuine affection she harbors for me, but…it's difficult to transcend the master-servant relationship completely. I'm incredibly grateful to her, but she was never able to make up for the fact that my parents didn't care about me."

"Question: Are you wanting paternal love or romantic love? I know we're not talking about sexual love given that it's you, but…what kind of love do you need?" Kaito probed deeper into the issue, sipping gingerly at the still steaming cocoa.

Saguru paused again to consider. "I'm not sure. It may even just be friendship I'm searching for. It's hard to tell until I feel it, but I think what I'm lacking is acceptance. I want someone I can be myself with. I want them to make me feel like it's okay for me to be here and be who I am."

Kaito nodded. "So it's different than having screaming fangirls telling you that they love you and want to have your children. You want a deeper, truer love than that."

"Yes, because those women…and men…don't actually know the real me. I don't think they'd even like the real Saguru. No one wants an insecure nerd with obsessive and depressive tendencies," Saguru mumbled, his gaze dropping back down into his mug.

Kaito nudged Saguru's knee gently with his own. "I want you. Your friendship has been a real blessing to me, and I feel lucky to have you in my life. Is that kind of, sort of good enough?"

Saguru's heart did a backflip, and he almost scalded himself as his hand jerked, sloshing the hot chocolate. Was it good enough? It certainly made Saguru over the moon with joy, but…

"Not quite," Saguru responded apologetically. "It is significant, though. I've not had a real friend in…I'm not sure. I don't know that I've ever had an intimate confidant like this, but…it's not quite enough."

"So you do want a romantic partner," Kaito clarified for the both of them.

"I suppose I do," Saguru realized.

"Got anyone in mind?" Kaito fished, feeling oddly invested in the answer to that question.

Saguru's entire face to the tips of his ears lit up, and he rushed to look away from Kaito's piercing violet eyes. "I believe he's emotionally unavailable, and I don't expect that he'd be interested in me romantically, even if he weren't."

"So we have to work on finding you a boyfriend," Kaito hummed, beginning to plot. His scheming didn't get very far along before he was wondering aloud, "But how does that work between two guys? I mean…if there were a girl I was interested in, I'd talk to her, see if we got along, and then ask her on a date. If she said no—she'd be crazy—but it wouldn't be a big deal. I wouldn't have to worry about her getting offended or freaked out…well, not usually, anyway. I'm guessing it's completely different in same-sex dating. On top of stressing about all of that, there's also the threat of having the guy you confess to telling everyone he knows that you're into guys and ending up completely ostracized because of the stigma, so…how does a guy ever find another guy to be with? God, this is going to be hard."

Saguru shook his head. "I don't know how it works. I've never dated before."

"What about with Kostya?" Kaito froze when he realized he was being insensitive. "Sorry. Am I allowed to talk about him, or is that too painful?"

"It's all right." A weak and sorrowful smile spread across Saguru's lips. "It doesn't hurt quite so much with you. Finally talking about it is helping me to let go, I think."

"Good," Kaito sighed in relief. "So how did you two end up together? I'm guessing he was the one to make the first move because I don't see fourteen year-old Sa-chan propositioning a hot, twenty-five year-old guy. Then, at the same time, how did a skating instructor decide to risk hitting on one of his underage students from a rich and powerful family?"

"I believe I encouraged him even before he started to make advances," Saguru confessed, piecing it together himself as he spoke. "I was so obviously in love with him. I was always staring at him in admiration, sneaking glances here and there. I blushed, I stuttered, I trembled at his touch. It was hard for me to look him in the eye, and he always made me nervous."

Kaito's eyes widened as he began to recognize some of those same symptoms in himself. Suddenly things made a lot more sense and he began to feel foolish.

"Love, huh?" Kaito silently chuckled to himself. "Shit."

Next to him on the couch, Saguru continued, oblivious to Kaito's epiphany. "Kostya must have noticed the way I was acting and decided to take advantage of me. I don't know if he ever had feelings for me, but… He started courting me gradually, and then…"

Tears began to form in the corners of Saguru's eyes and proceeded to trickle slowly down his cheeks.

Kaito touched his knee to Saguru's in a gentle show of support. "Do you want me to track him down and make him pay? I could do some very nasty things to him."

Saguru shook his head, letting the tears fall silently as they would. "I don't want to remember anymore. I want to forget any of it ever happened, but…at the same time, those were some of my happiest memories until…I found out he'd been using me to fund nice gifts for his fiancée. What I want is someone to treat me like he did in the beginning again. I want to be treasured and flattered and spoiled but for real this time."

"Don't worry, Haku-chan," Kaito cooed soothingly. "I'll find you a good boyfriend so you can make some new memories and feel loved again. Things are going to work out. You'll see."

"No," Saguru whispered, setting his hot chocolate mug down on the coffee table. "I don't think I'm ready for another boyfriend yet, Kuroba. I'm too…damaged."

Kaito waved away Saguru's protests. "You're not going to get better unless you put yourself out there. Maybe you should go on a few easy dates with some of the saner fangirls just to get the hang of things and build confidence. We can move on to people you're actually interested in later, but first let's just practice to get you feeling better about yourself. The damage might take a while to heal, but at least in the meantime we can be taking steps forward."

"No, Kuroba. I meant…well, the way you understood things is also correct, but…I think the problem is that…" He forced himself to look Kaito in the eye. "I don't feel like I deserve to be loved."

"What the hell put that idea into your head?" Kaito tried to hold back his fury and hear Saguru out, but it was hard to keep a level head.

"Most probably it was a mix between my parents' failure to love me, my mother's passive aggressive attitude towards my existence, and Kostya's ill treatment of me. That's what's underlying all this. I subconsciously believe that I have to be perfect in order to merit love because that thought pattern has been reinforced my whole life."

Kaito sighed in frustration. "This is another one of those times when I just want to tell you 'Well, screw them' and 'Shake it off', but I know from experience that it's not that simple." Kaito gave Saguru an appraising once over before he hesitantly suggested, "Hey, Haku-chan? Have you ever considered talking to someone about all this—like a professional? Because I have the number of a good one, and I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not going to be able to fix all your problems with the power of friendship straight up."

Saguru chuckled softly and nodded. "Yes, thank you. I see a therapist already. But I'm surprised that you do—if that's what you meant when you said that you had one's number," he quickly added.

"What's so surprising?" Kaito snorted lightly. "I saw my father burn to death in front of me when I was eight, learned he had been murdered and a criminal when I was sixteen, and then found out he was actually still alive and just a giant bastard when I was seventeen. And all that's not counting the whole other set of trauma I have thanks to my mom. Of course I see a therapist."

"That makes sense," Saguru conceded. "It's just that you don't seem the type to accept psychological help."

"Fair," Kaito admitted. "And it's true that I have a huge aversion to taking any kind of mood-altering substance, but I have no objection to counseling. Sometime a problem is too big to try to tackle on your own."

Saguru nodded in agreement. "As is true in my case. Though, the people I've seen over the years haven't proven to be much help yet. My issues are so thoroughly engrained."

"Well, let's talk about it, if you don't mind sharing. I mean, if you think it will help, talking with me. If not…" Kaito trailed off, giving Saguru the opportunity to accept or refuse his offer without any pressure attached.

"There is something I've wanted to tell you," Saguru quietly informed, his tone pensive, as if he were trying to decide whether or not to speak. "I'm not sure if now is the right time, but…" He looked up to meet Kaito's gaze. "I don't think I deserve to be loved. I can't in good conscience ask someone to give everything they have, everything they are to me because I'm not able to do the same in return."

Kaito's brow furrowed. "How so?"

"Because I've already been unfaithful," Saguru replied simply, a wry, bitter smile seeming almost to suffocate him.

Kaito's frown deepened, but instead of pressing his friend for clarification, he let Saguru go at his own pace.

"I was a fool. I thought I'd found true love at the age of fourteen, and so I didn't hold anything back. Whatever Kostya asked for, I gave him, so I never thought to refuse when…" Saguru choked, his courage failing him as the beginnings of tears started to make his eyes burn again. He looked down at his mug on the table and muttered in shame, "At the time, same-sex marriage wasn't available, so I thought that once I had found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with, there was no need to keep waiting for something I didn't ever think was going to be possible. It wasn't until two years later that I realized Kostya had just been using me for my money and my body…and so I don't feel like I can go into another relationship knowing that I'll have to tell my mate that I'm unable to give them the entirety of my body, heart, mind, and soul because it's already been used up by someone else. See? It's really not so simple as you'd thought, is it?"

"It's simple all right," Kaito grumbled, trying to hold in the absolute rage he was feeling towards Saguru's ex at that moment. He had wanted to go track the guy down and knock his lights out before, but now Kaito was considering what forms of torture he could reasonably justify using. "You're the one that's making this complicated, Haku-chan."

Saguru looked up and stared, completely perplexed, at Kaito.

"You heard me right," Kaito confirmed, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "Haku-chan, we're not living in the dark ages where you have to be a virgin or no one will marry you. Even though you were tricked and made a wrong choice in the past, you're still one of the purest, noblest, most gentlemanly guys I know. Virtue isn't determined solely upon whether or not you've had sex, and that's not the only matter under consideration when choosing someone you plan on spending your life with. Just because you've got a skeleton in your closet, that doesn't make you any less deserving of love. Do you think just because I've never slept with anyone, I'm a more desirable mate than you are?"

Saguru was about to reply emphatically, but Kaito cut him off.

"No! Absolutely not because I'm a selfish, lying, promise-breaking cad with a whole host of psychological issues," Kaito stressed. "You may have issues too, Haku-chan, but at least you've got an entire battalion of redeeming qualities to go with them. Any guy would be lucky to have you for your wit, thoughtfulness, reliability, and sincerity. You've got a lot to offer, and having a previous physical relationship isn't the deal-breaker it used to be. I bet you'll find that a lot of guys don't really care so long as you're not carrying any bugs thanks to that previous partner."

Saguru looked back down at his feet and considered Kaito's words.

"Does that help at all, Haku-chan?" Kaito did his best to thread the words with gentle concern.

Saguru kept his gaze fixed down, only sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye. "Do you mean to tell me, Kuroba, that you wouldn't be upset or feel hurt if the girl you were dating told you that she'd slept with some other man?"

"I'm not saying that I wouldn't mind," Kaito countered. "Okay, yeah. I'm the kind of person that would want sex to be something just the two of us shared, but I know I'm not perfect either, so how can I expect the person I marry to be? As you've pointed out before, there are a lot of grey areas regarding the things I do with my body with other people while at work. A potential mate probably wouldn't approve of me doing those kinds of things. I have my own shortcomings to worry about, so is it really fair for me to nitpick? So long as my partner only sleeps with me as long as we're together and only kisses me and only thinks of me in their heart of hearts, does it matter that I'm not the first person they've ever loved? I loved Aoko madly for years, and sometimes I feel like I have nothing left to offer a future partner because I've already given her all the love that I had. However, I think that while these issues I have make me a little harder to love and accept wholesale, they in no way make me unlovable or undeserving of love. And I don't think what you've been through takes away from your value as a human or a mate either, Haku-chan. What do you think?"

Saguru was silent for a minute before softly inquiring, "Do you think you would be able to look past all my flaws and shortcomings and accept me as a mate, if you were attracted to men?"

"Of course I would," Kaito stressed. "God, you're a cakewalk compared to me and all the twisted ways I'm crazy…all the crazy ways I'm twisted too, for that matter. You don't have nearly as many 'flaws' as you think you do."

Saguru let the tears fall freely then, covering his face with his hands as he almost soundlessly wept.

Kaito set down his own mug of hot cocoa and scooted closer to Saguru with everything from his shoulder to his knee down to his ankle gently pressed to Saguru's side.

"It's okay," Kaito whispered in an attempt to comfort his friend. "Feel free to lean on my shoulder too."

Much to Kaito's surprise, Saguru did, resting his head (face still covered by his palms) on Kaito's shoulder until the shockwaves of sobs ceased to rack his body. Eventually, Saguru's hands fell away, and the detective lay still with his head on Kaito's shoulder, eyes closed and waiting for his breathing to even out.

"Thank you," Saguru whispered meekly, embarrassed that he'd let show so much.

"It's all right," Kaito assured. "There's no telling when I might need you to do the same for me, so please don't worry about it. I'll be glad if I was able to help any."

"You did," Saguru mumbled, sitting up and opening his red, puffy eyes. "I feel better now, even though I'm both emotionally and physically exhausted."

"Good. That you feel better, I mean," Kaito chuckled, patting Saguru in a friendly manner on the arm as he stood to go. "I'm going to head home and leave you to sort things out in privacy, then. I don't want to overtax you, so I think we've done enough soul-sharing for the night."

Saguru's hand flew out, grabbing Kaito by the wrist. "W-Wait," he hesitantly demanded.

Kaito patiently waited for Saguru to explain.

The blonde let go of Kaito's wrist and looked down at his own feet. "If it's not too much to ask, do you think you could stay? I don't really want to be alone right now, and the weather is supposed to take a turn for the worse. I don't want you out there in the cold and the dark and the ice because of me, so…"

"Sure," Kaito readily agreed. "Lend me your shower and your couch, and I'll be all set."

Saguru blushed as he tried to block out all of the bad images the word "shower" evoked. He nodded and attempted to play the red tint of his cheeks off as innocent embarrassment. "It means a great deal to me. Everything you do and your friendship, I mean. Thank you, Kuroba."

Kaito paused on his way to the shower to glance back over his shoulder and smirk. "Kaito. Or maybe 'Kai', if you'd rather. I don't think 'Kuro-chan' suits me, but you've got to start calling me by a nickname already, okay? And I'm going to upgrade you from 'Haku-chan' to 'Ru'," Kaito reported matter-of-factly with a wink.

Saguru stared until he regained enough composure to nod. "Okay…" His voice cracked slightly. "…K-Kai."

Kaito grinned triumphantly, giving Hakuba the thumbs up as he went on his way to the bathroom.

While Kaito was gone, Saguru laid out the extra bedding and then tried to fall asleep as fast as possible so that he wouldn't have to explain why his nose was bleeding profusely when Kaito came out of the bath, probably wearing only a towel. Saguru knew he'd be unable to sleep once Kaito was back in the room with him, sleeping on the couch just a matter of feet away from his own bed. He'd be up all night listening to Kaito's breathing if he didn't fall asleep now, and he knew it.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to drift off, but one thought kept niggling at him. "Kai," he whispered into his pillow, trying the sinfully delicious syllable out on his tongue once more.

…

"We're doing the throw jump today?" Kaito inquired as he laced up his skates, trying not to let his anxiety show. "That's the only element of our routine we haven't practiced yet, right?"

"That's right," Saguru confirmed, sneaking an appraising glance at his partner's composed expression. "How do you think it's going to go? Do you feel ready?"

Kaito turned to Saguru and laughed, a huge but bashful grin breaking out on his face. "I think I'm going to flutz the landing, break my nose on the ice, and send you into peals of giggles at my incompetence."

Saguru raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Do you seriously think I'd be able to laugh with you fallen and bleeding?"

Kaito stopped chuckling at himself and considered. "I guess not. You'd probably panic and trip yourself as you rushed to get to me."

"Exactly," Saguru snorted. "I'd have a heart attack. Besides, Kai, I doubt you're going to severely injure yourself, even if you do fall. And then—"

"—You'll help me back up and we'll try again until I nail it, right?" Kaito grinned.

The trust for his partner contained within that smile made Saguru's heart skip, and he soon found a smile echoing Kaito's on his own lips.

"Right," he whispered. "But I have a feeling you'll knock it out of the park the second time in the highly unlikely event it's not perfect the first."

"Stop," Kaito snorted, giving Saguru's shoulder a playful nudge with his own.

"You'll see," Saguru chuckled knowingly.

"Shut up and put your skates on, Ru." Kaito rolled his eyes even though he was secretly pleased. Saguru's confidence made Kaito believe that maybe he could pull it off after all.

"Very well," Saguru conceded. "But would you like to listen to the song I was planning on using for our routine first before we head out on the ice?"

Kaito nodded enthusiastically. "You have it picked out? …Well, I guess if you've got choreography, you have to have a music choice to go with it, don't you?" Kaito fidgeted as Saguru pulled out his phone and searched for the song. "What's it called?"

"Ai no Scenario," Saguru replied, handing the phone over to Kaito. "It's very high energy. You should be just fine, but it will probably take a lot out of me to skate to this. I don't have your stamina, but…I like this song for us." Saguru leaned in close to watch the music video over Kaito's shoulder. "I think the lyrics really fit my feelings for—" He stopped abruptly and revised, "—about our friendship."

Kaito's eyes widened as he listened to lyrics full of promises: to protect, to accept completely, to never betray, and to stand by his side even if the entire world should turn against him. Kaito's mouth dropped open, and his heart fluttered in utter joy.

As the song came to an end, he handed the phone back to Saguru and grinned. "It's perfect, Ru. Absolutely gorgeous. So I'll get to skate with you to this once I get the throw jump down?"

Saguru nodded. "That's the plan."

"Then I'm gonna show that throw jump who's boss," Kaito declared, rising to his feet and starting out toward the rink. After a few steps, he paused as if remembering something. "Oh, yeah. Those lyrics." Kaito snuck a quick peek over his shoulder at Saguru. "I feel the same way about you." Kaito whipped back around and resumed walking as he intentionally echoed Saguru, teasing, "I mean, about our friendship."

Saguru's entire face flushed as his thoughts spiraled out of control.

What did that mean? Was Kaito serious? Had he actually been flirting with Saguru? Was Saguru only imagining things? Had Kaito realized Saguru's feelings, and was he now teasing Saguru? Or…?

It took nearly two whole minutes for Saguru to regain his composure and follow Kaito out to the rink.

Kaito was waiting patiently at the gate, still not comfortable stepping out onto the ice on his own. The magician looked much as he usually did, not showing the smallest hint that anything had occurred between the two just minutes before.

Saguru followed Kaito's lead, forcing himself to turn off his overactive imagination and act professionally.

"All right. Let's warm up and then get down to it, shall we?" Saguru suggested, heading out onto the ice first with Kaito close behind.

They did their warm up, and then Saguru had Kaito go over some of the skills Kaito had already mastered in order to build up his confidence before they attempted their first throw jump.

"Are you ready?" Saguru asked gently.

Kaito smiled wryly. "I wish you could tell me that you wouldn't drop me like you've always assured me before, but…seeing as you're throwing me through the air and I'm landing on my own…whether I fall or not is pretty much on me."

"You'll be fine," Saguru encouraged. "Just remember, big bend in the knee. You've done impeccably well when we were practicing on the mats, and your twist lifts are gorgeous nowadays, your jumps are inspiring. There's no reason I can see why you shouldn't do well with this too. If it makes it easier for you, just remember that I won't let you die, and even if you do fall, you can always get back up and try again. Don't worry about letting me down or not meeting my expectations. Don't even worry about your own expectations. I give you permission to fail, even though I don't believe that you will. You've done harder things in the past for much larger stakes, so why bother stressing out about this now? All right?"

Kaito's lips broke into a wide grin as he laughed at the silliness of his own anxiety. "All right. If you put it that way."

"No pressure," Saguru stressed. "Just go out there and do it, Kai."

Kaito nodded. "Ready when you are."

Saguru gave the signal, and they pushed off, building momentum, syncing up their steps. Kaito felt Saguru's hands on his waist, and then suddenly he was airborne, bringing in his arms, crossing his ankles like Saguru had shown him, and spinning. Landing with a big bend in his right knee, he spread his arms for balance and kept his head raised as his left leg swept around and arched up behind him.

It was all over in seconds, and then Saguru was skating towards him, eyes wide, grin wider.

Kaito straightened and came to a stop, and Saguru grabbed both of Kaito's hands in his own, squeezing them as he exclaimed, "Kaito! What did I tell you? I'm so proud of you! That was marvelous! Perfect! God, you're beautiful," he breathed as he gazed into Kaito's violet eyes.

Kaito squeezed Saguru's hands back, holding them tight as he surged forward, pressing his lips to Saguru's. "Do you really mean that?" he whispered as he pulled away, nervously meeting Saguru's gaze once more. "That I'm beautiful?"

Saguru stared in shock, lips half parted, barely knowing what he said when he answered, "Of course. I've always thought…" Coming down from his euphoria and back to his senses, he frowned. "But why did you kiss me? I don't understand."

Kaito winced. "Saguru, there aren't very many reasons why one guy would kiss another." He forced himself to look Saguru straight in the eye as he explained, "Recently I've started to realize how beautiful you are."

Saguru blinked, unable to come up with an intelligent response. "O-Oh?"

Kaito nodded sheepishly. "I hope that all this doesn't stop after the Suzuki's competition. I want to keep spending time together, learning about each other, and having the kinds of discussions we've been having this past month—both the inane ones about which condiments are best on takoyaki and the deep ones about how we've been hurt in the past. Would you want to keep spending time with me like that too?"

"Absolutely," Saguru whispered, his entire body trembling in a mix of ecstasy and fear that this might just be a dream.

A little of his anxiety melted as Kaito leaned in and kissed him again, more languidly this time.

"Awesome," Kaito chuckled, slowly pulling back. "I'm really glad. Part of me was afraid I had completely misread you and that I'd end up getting black-listed forever."

"I know what you mean," Saguru sighed, pulse still fluttering.

With another squeeze of Saguru's hand and a goofy grin, Kaito tugged his partner back into motion. "Well now we both know we don't have to be afraid, so why don't you show me the whole routine, and then we can practice it a little before I take you on our first dinner date?"

Saguru's heart did a backflip, and he nodded his wholehearted assent.

The

End

…

Mikau: So what did you think? Too dark? Too sappy? Goodness knows there was enough of both of those. Regardless, thanks for reading, everyone. I hope it was an enjoyable experience. I also hope to see you again soon. I'm going to try to get back to work on some of my old stories. I'm working on finishing up In the Spider's Web right now, and then I'm thinking about going back to The Monster at My Window, but we'll see how things go. Thank you again for sticking with me and all your feedback and support. Take care!